Mental Mindfuck

I would like, if I may, to take you on a strange journey.

How strange was it? So strange they made a Rant on it!

Rocky Horror puns aside, I chat quite frequently on yahoo. I rarely ever have to find a chat partner because I am almost constantly random messaged by users searching for random people. On average, I get five people who random message me in a day. Out of the five people who message me in a day, two of them peter out before they ever really talk to me. Either I stop responding to them because there is a lack of intelligent conversation, or they stop responding to me because of lack of things to say. One of them most of the time turns out to be intelligent and I can have a decent conversation with them. These people usually find their way onto my buddy list and why my buddy list is so small. The other three random people end up being the mass matter of my online idiot journal. They are the subject of this rant.

~*~*~*~*~

gyroscope75: I would love to feel your eyes over me

Aislynnus: I'm sure you would. I have to go now.

gyroscope75: was that a yes?

~*~*~*~*~

It would be nice to have someone message me and be genuinely interested in how my day is going and chat with me for a bit about what I am doing. It would be nice to actually make friends online. I like to talk to people, learn about them, chat with them for a few months off and on before I even meet with them or talk with them on the telephone. It would be nice if they would at least say hello before they send me that first message with the "great come on line" that clues me in instantly to the direction of the conversation like my favorite line, "Show me your Cunt". I guess it just goes to show that tact and grace are lost arts when it comes to the wonderful world of the internet.

Once in awhile, I would like someone who random messages me on Yahoo to actually challenge me. I want them to debate something with me rather it be politics or religion or personal theory on the stupidity of the mass populous. It would be nice for them to inform me about the weather in their country or something interesting that happened to them in the last few days or how their pet hamster is doing. I would love for someone to show me that there are people out there in the world who can actually pull their heads out of their butts, string two thoughts together and come up with some sort of theory about it. I want someone to mentally stimulate me and, contrary to popular opinion, mental stimulation does NOT mean cybersex.

~*~*~*~*~

hellohellodr: hi

hellohellodr: do you cyber

Aislynnus: Do you read profiles?

hellohellodr: yeah

Aislynnus: And does it not say that I have better things to do with my time than that?

Aislynnus: I see we didn't give up stupidity for Lent this year.

~*~*~*~*~

From their messages, these people seem to think I am pretty. So is it too much for a pretty girl to want some decent conversation, for crying out loud? I have put information on my profile stating I do not cyber and that I expect intelligent conversation and even with this on my profile people insist on asking me to cyber. It's like they think if they talk to you for two lines that you will automatically see how dashing and debonair they are and fall instantly in lust with them. They are the most handsome thing in the world so why wouldn't you want them harassing you? They also seem to think that every girl who has a webcam is a raging slut with nothing better to do with their time than to camwhore. We don't have families or children and so they tell me to send my family out of the room so I could get naked on my webcam. Am I the only one who doesn't see this as a good idea?

~*~*~*~*~

exiter232323: oh baby... do you wanna cam? Damn you sexy...

Aislynnus: *rolls eyes in a very bored fashion*

Aislynnus: Intelligence would have helped you out with that, pal.

exiter232323: why need intellegence when you just wnnna jerk off

Aislynnus: Find another wackbitch

Aislynnus: I have intelligent people to talk to

~*~*~*~*~

I don't think that I am alone when I think that pretty girls don't only want to hear how sexy they are and how much guys want to fuck them. I, for one, was only amused the first five or six times the messages came across my screen. After that I started blocking them and deleting my message history. It's boring for those of us who actually have a shred of self-esteem. I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard, "Hey, honey, when do I get to see you naked?" in some sort of serious manner. I would have enough money that I could respond with "When you buy a paid subscription to my adult website." I get so sick of men thinking that they are the most handsome and charming men to ever grace the face of the earth.

The thing that bothers me the most about all of this is half of the men who message me online wouldn't ever come and talk to me in person. If they saw me in a bar or something, they would be intimidated to come and talk to me. They would sit and stare at me in the bar as though they were hungry dogs slavering over a chunk of meat. It was like the one time I went out to a bar with friends. The guys were staring over at our table and my friend and co-worker Tara was upset that they were staring at her. I looked over at them and they did the typical "Oh shit she sees us" dodge and look at the floor bit. I smiled and told Tara they weren't looking at her and asked her boyfriend Jason to switch me seats. They stopped looking at Tara and stared full on at me.

~*~*~*~*~

merabet_hamza: hi

Aislynnus: hello

merabet_hamza: how are you?

Aislynnus: Alright

Aislynnus: You?

merabet_hamza: how old is it?

Aislynnus: How old is what?

merabet_hamza: aahhhh fak your mather

merabet_hamza: ok

Aislynnus: What the hell are you even talking about?

Aislynnus: English, motherfucker. Do you speak it?

~*~*~*~*~

Later that evening Tara, Jason and I were playing pool. Tara and I had to share a stick because the guys, who were still watching, had all the sticks. They were laughing at Tara when she missed a shot. Instead of letting Jason get into a fight over it, I told Tara I would shut them up. I popped the cherry out of my amaretto sour into my mouth and walked over to them. I walked over to the guy who wasn't playing and asked, "Can I have your stick?" He just ogled me oddly. I asked again, a little louder this time, "Excuse me, but can I have your stick?" He was starting to get slack-jawed and by this time his friends were watching. Since he didn't respond after what was an uncomfortable length of time, I raised my eyebrows at him. His friend stepped forward and said, "Dude, she wants your pool stick" in a rather bland and incredulous fashion. The guy's mouth snapped shut and he blushed enough that I could see it in the dark bar. I took the pool stick and ran my hand up and down the upper length of the stick and took the cherry stem out of my mouth that I had ever so neatly tied into a knot. I looked at the stem with interest and tossed it at the ash tray, purposely missing it. I said a cute little "Thanks!" and walked off. Tara and Jason watched with their mouths gaping open as the guys all checked out the cherry stem I had tossed. When I got back to the table, Tara was confused.

"How is that going to shut them up?"

Jason laughed. "Tara, they'll be too damned busy ragging on their friend for his open mouthed stare at her when she asked for the stick, they won't be concerned with you anymore."

I chimed back in with a bemused shrug. "And if they come back to you again, all I have to do is pop another cherry in my mouth or wave or something. They'll leave you alone then."

The moral of the story is that on the internet, men can get shot down because their egos can take it. It isn't real if it happens over the internet. They don't have to see the girl's face. They don't have to listen to her laugh. They don't get the severe irony in her voice when she tells them to get lost. They don't have to take shit from their friends, either. In real life it means more.

In summation, all of these men think they all have the biggest dick and the best bedroom skills with the best looks and personality along with being Gods gifts to humanity... In all reality, if this were true, they wouldn't have to try to pick up women over the internet! Get a real life. Go out and approach that girl you think is really pretty in the bar. Talk to her for awhile and get to know her a bit. Then tell her that you wanted to talk to her because you thought she was beautiful. That will get you a hell of a lot farther than "Hey, baby, show me your cunt" in an internet chat room.