Milk of Human Hatred

Many thanks to talented author/editor HMAuthor and SevenSwans252 for first editing and improving this story.

Grateful thanks to chimicawriting for revisions that made it better yet.

"At last!"

I shouted from joy, exasperation and relief after I sneaked a peek through the front blinds.

Laurel, Felicity, Mimi and Bianca were getting into their cars after they had once again destroyed half my Sunday.

"What is it with your friends?" I asked Ellen.

"What do you mean?"

"It happens every time I'm around when they come over. Today you were planning someone's bridal shower in the kitchen. I stayed in the living room. How did each of them somehow get close enough to push me, bump me, scratch me, step on my feet, slap my ass, give me a wedgie and worse."

"Worse?"

"I mean Tinker Bell. She may look like a little doll, but she's a sadistic savage. She stuck her hand into my robe and reached into my pajama pants. She actually grabbed my balls and squeezed them. Then she pushed a finger into my butt crack. I moved away fast. I don't even want to think about where she was going with that one."

"Why didn't you put on your clothes and go out somewhere?"

"I should just let them drive me out of my own home? Sorry, I mean our home. You know them better than you know me. What's going on?"

"You know," Ellen said.

I swallowed hard as I looked at her.

"That was eight years ago," I said, trying in vain to keep the memory pushed back into the deepest, darkest corner of my mind. I already knew I'd fail and be depressed the rest of the day.

***********

There was only one really bad thing I ever did to Ellen. She's completely forgiven me for it and never brings it up, even when we have a fight that makes her so angry that she won't speak to me for days. Not days. Thirty-six hours is her record.

The problem isn't her, it's me. Whenever I think about it, my body shakes in fear and I feel like my brain will explode. Sometimes I still have nightmares about it. Once Ellen told me I screamed in my sleep. I told her I didn't remember what I was dreaming, but I had a good idea.

Someone as stupid as me has no right to be happily married to the most loving, loyal, forgiving and beautiful woman in the world.

Take the argument that caused the silent-treatment record. It was about my habit of reminding her how perfect she was and how lucky and undeserving I was. She threatened to leave me if I didn't stop. She claimed she was as full of faults as I was, and it made her squirm when I talked about her like she was a goddess I was worshipping.

To end the fight, I told the biggest lie of my life. I said that I was just having fun with her by exaggerating, and, of course, I knew she was only human. I promised to stop thinking of her as a divinity. She fell for my whopper, and I've mostly kept my word, although it's been hard at times to bite my tongue so I don't tell her and everyone else what I really feel.

My guy friends think what I did to her isn't such a big deal. They point out that we were all jerks in college, and the girls weren't any better. They share some of the cruel things girls did to them.

But none of them are married to Ellen. When I met her my sophomore year, it was as if she stepped out of a cloud and floated down to me. We knew immediately we were soul mates, and we moved in together the next year and announced our engagement the summer before our senior year.

Then I lost my mind. What drove me mad seethed with sexuality and drew me to her with a power I still can't understand. I became so obsessed with her that I turned into an animal. My veneer of humanity was stripped away, exposing a single-minded pursuit of sexual pleasure.

I had barely enough decency left to break off the engagement to Ellen before began having sex with my obsession. So technically I didn't cheat. I only went insane.

Ellen was first stunned, then devastated. She asked me over and over what was wrong with her. I tried to tell her that it wasn't her, but she wouldn't believe me.

The next day, I heard from each of the Gang of Four. The conversations all went the same way. They were confused. Why did I dump Ellen? What went wrong? I can't remember what I told them, but I'm sure it didn't make any sense. All I could think about at the time was my nymphomaniac and how soon she and I could rut together again.

A few days later, I got a second call from each of them, and they let me have it. I was called every vile name in the book. Their imaginations knew no boundaries as they described to me the painful things they'd like to do to me. One of the milder ones was reaching into my sockets with their fingernails and tearing my eyeballs out.

Nothing they said affected me until they started calling my new girlfriend names. I became chivalrous and stood up for her. I said I was sorry about Ellen, but it wasn't anybody else's fault but mine. At least that was honest. How noble I was!

They told me that Ellen had gone home, but they were going after her. They wouldn't let her ruin her life, and they would get me for what I did to her no matter how long it took them.

I saw Ellen on campus a few weeks later, and she looked like a zombie. Despite my obsession, I did feel a twinge of guilt and was happy that her friends had brought her back. They had already taken everything of hers from my apartment. While they were moving her stuff, they continued to verbally abuse me.

It took me almost five weeks to realize that I was making the biggest mistake of my life. I awoke one morning, and my insanity was gone, replaced by a reality that came down on me like a ton of bricks.

I had thrown away the only girl I ever loved and the only one I would ever be happy with. I had humiliated her and driven her temporarily insane, to the point where she had thought there was something wrong with her. My life was over. I might as well kill myself.

My survival instinct was strong enough that I struggled against the quicksand before I went under. When I tried to get to Ellen, the Gang of Four ran interference for her. I soaked up their cruel contempt like a sponge. At the same time I was frantically trying to get around them, I loved them for saving her and defending her from a monster as ferociously as I would.

I decided to stalk her. My opportunity came when she and Mimi were shopping at a mall. I saw Mimi leave the clothing store they had gone into and walk into a boutique a few doors down.

As soon as Mimi was out of sight, I ran into the store and surprised Ellen coming out of the dressing room. I fell at her feet and begged for a second chance.

Ellen is smart, but that day she was stupid. In seconds, we were on the carpet holding each other and sobbing as customers and salespeople gathered around us.

That's where Mimi found us, and when she saw what was going on, she became like a lioness protecting one of her cubs. She slapped, punched, pulled and scratched at me to tear Ellen loose, pull her to her feet and drag her out of the store so fast that Ellen seemed like she was flying away from me.

I wasn't allowed to see Ellen alone for two months. Each time one of the Gang of Four came with her when we met. It didn't matter because Ellen and I talked as if no one was there.

I could tell that our conversations were making her friends ill, even though I spoke from the heart. Ellen believed me, but they didn't. All they saw was the demon who had nearly destroyed her.

Finally, Ellen put her foot down and said she would be seeing me alone. And then came the ring, the wedding and all the rest. I took the Gang of Four out to dinner by myself and told them how much I loved them for what they had done for Ellen, and I hoped that I would earn their trust by treating her the way she deserved to be treated. They were silent, which at least was an improvement over the imaginative curses and names they had shared with me until the wedding date was announced.

********

I shook myself out of my daydream nightmare and focused on what Ellen was saying.

"You've made me the happiest woman on Earth, but they don't think you suffered enough for what you did. They're wrong, but I love that they love me that fiercely. Can you understand that? Deep down, I know they don't wish you harm, because they know that if anything happened to you, it would kill me."

"So you're all right with Tinker Bell invading my body?"

"If you want me to talk to Mimi, I will."

"Never mind. I guess I'll just have to put up with their pawing and pinching to atone for my sins. But you can tell Tinker Bell that if she continues to explore inside my pajamas, I'm going to do some exploring on her."

"I will," Ellen said, and she laughed.

*************

A few days later, after dinner, I heard Ellen's laugh coming from her office.

"What's so funny?" I asked from the family room.

"I don't know if you'll think it's that funny. You may not want to see what Mimi attached to her email."

My curiosity was aroused. I went to her office and stood behind Ellen, who was sitting at her computer.

"I told her that you may be sticking your fingers where she won't like it if she continues attacking you, and this is her reply. See where she wrote, 'This is what I'd like to do to Jeff?' Are you ready for the video?

"Yes," I said, wondering what sick and twisted thing Mimi had come up with.

The video showed a naked man on his hands and knees. He was facing away from the camera, so you couldn't see his face, just his hairy ass. A small woman -- it wasn't Mimi -- came into the picture carrying a jar. She opened the jar and scooped out what looked like some grease and began smearing it into his butt crack. She also put the grease on his cock and balls.

She knelt next to the man, facing his ass, and reached under him to grab his cock with her right hand. She began pumping it up and down, sometimes letting it go to fondle his balls. With her left hand, she reached around and pushed a finger into his asshole.

She pushed some of the grease into him and began moving the finger in and out. Then she pushed in more grease and added a second finger, then more grease and a third and a fourth. Finally, she slowly pushed her entire hand in past the wrist and moved it in and out at the same pace as her right hand was pumping his cock. Each time she did this, she pushed the hand in further.

The man's heavy breathing turned to moans. She picked up the pace, and then there was a soft plopping sound as his come fell to the floor below him.

She took hold of his cock near his balls with a thumb and two fingers and began pulling her hand down while squeezing it so hard that he was groaning in pain. As she did, come oozed out of it. It was like she was squeezing toothpaste out of a tube.

You could see the man was in agony. He was shifting from one leg to another and trying to get away from her hand. It looked like his hands were tied. Whatever way he moved, the woman wouldn't release her death grip on his cock. When she finished squeezing the come out of him, there was a puddle of white under him.

I heard Ellen's breathing quicken while we watched.

"Were you excited by that disgusting video?" I asked when it was over.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't help it."

She laughed.

"At least I'm not imagining that it's you, like Mimi and the others do."

************

It was two Sunday mornings later that the Gang of Four was in the house working on the bridal shower again. I wore some old boxers with a flap that didn't close all the way under my robe. I let my robe hang loose so the Gang of Four got an eyeful.

Mimi came out of the kitchen and saw me sprawled across the couch. She reached for me quickly and almost grabbed something before spinning away as I reached for the crotch of her tight shorts. She laughed.

"I heard you really enjoyed that fisting and milking video," she said.

"Is that the kind of thing you did to your ex-boyfriends?"

"Don't knock it until you try it," she said with a laugh. "Look at this nice, clean fist. I'll even trim my nails short. Wouldn't you like me to put it up your ass and milk you?"

"What's all this milking business? It looks like masturbating to me."

"That's where you're wrong."

She had a devilish smile on her face.

"Take another look at that video. The woman is pumping the cock, but it never gets completely hard. The hand in the guy's ass is what makes it happen. The prostate is somewhere inside there. It's like a male clitoris. If you stroke it the right way, eventually the come starts flowing.

"The guy's in too much pain from the fisting to ejaculate. His stuff comes out, and he's done, but there's no satisfaction for him. I think it's one of the most demeaning things you can do to a man."

"How many times have you done it?"

"Never. I respect my men. There's only one man I'd like to do it to. Bye."

She went back to the kitchen as if nothing had happened.

That was enough for me. From then on, when I knew the Gang of Four was going to be at our house for more than a few minutes, I was out of there. But they were so much a part of Ellen's life that I couldn't avoid them altogether. Whenever I happened to be with one or more of them out of earshot of others, I knew exactly what I was going to hear: some variation of the fisting-milking invitation.

I shared the conversations with Ellen, and she told them she was starting to feel uncomfortable about their joking. She asked me what I thought.

"I think this is going to blow up sooner or later," I said. "Maybe that will be a good thing."

"Maybe not," she said. As usual, she was the smarter of the two of us.

*************

A few weeks later, after a girl's night out -- which in Ellen's case always consisted of a woman's movie with the Gang of Four and some dinner -- she came home and told me that I had made a good prediction. The nasty joking had come to a place where it couldn't get more bizarre.

"What happened?"

"They explained it to me at dinner, and I don't even know why I'm telling you, except for the strangest part of all. They told me that if you go through with this, they promise that they will forgive you, respect you, never torment you again and put the past out of their minds. They said they will love you like a brother."

"What do you mean 'go through with this'?"

"It's too weird! You know that video that they're obsessed with. To get you to do that, they've made it into a contest. It would be you against one of the girls.

"I'm not going to tell you more, because I've decided to butt out, so to speak. I told them that from now on, they would have to communicate with you directly, and I'm telling you the same thing. There must be better things for people to talk about."

"Will you be angry if I talk to them, just to find out?"

"No," she said. "Only don't tell me anything until the five of you finally resolve this."

*************

The next Tuesday, it was a girl's night out, minus Ellen, plus one man, me. We met at the Denny's near our home, and when I entered, I saw them all talking like conspirators at a table in the far corner, even though the restaurant was almost empty.

They began working on me as soon as I sat down and paused every time the waitress came within ten feet of us. They didn't resume until she passed beyond that invisible line again.

"What did Ellen tell you?" Laurel asked.

"Not much," I said, "except you've figured out a way for me to go along with your strange fantasy, and in return, you'll lay off of me. She wouldn't say anything more."

"Did she tell you that no matter what happens, if you agree to this, we will forgive what you did to Ellen, and we'll even go out of our way to be nice to you and treat you like a brother?" Felicity asked.

"None of us wants to do that, but in the end, we committed to it because it might make you agree. You know how much Ellen would like us to get along. Are you willing to do this for her?"

I laughed.

"How gullible do you think I am? I don't believe a word you just said."

"We are prepared to swear this in front of you, or write it down and sign in our blood, whatever you want," Felicity said.

"Let go back to where you said, 'no matter what happens.' I know how badly you want to hurt me, and I know how much you love Ellen. You may not believe I love her more than you do and despise myself for what I did to her. But you're smart enough to know her feelings for me. I'm curious about what you've come up with that destroys me without harming her."

"That's mostly fair," Bianca said, "I'll ignore the lie that you love her more than we do. I'm going to tell you what we want to do. Even if you turn us down, we've had a good time dreaming this up and imagining what would happen.

"It started with us wanting to make a video of you getting fisted and milked. Of course, one of us would be the one who does it, but the other three would get to watch and make a video. It would be for the five of us only, unless Ellen wanted a copy. It would never go on the Internet or be shown to anyone else.

"We tried to think of what we could offer you to be humiliated like this, but we were stumped until someone suggested you might enjoy humiliating us. Of course, none of us wants to be on the receiving end.

"Mimi came up with the idea of a contest, something like a wrestling match. We're all in good shape. I'll admit that since Mimi thought of the contest, we've been taking some lessons from a woman jiu jitsu instructor. You're not going to get a chance to do that yourself, mainly because I got the impression from Ellen that we better do this right away or else forget it.

"So we have the advantage of the training. All of us are athletic, and we're good-sized, except Mimi of course. You're in good shape, too, and you're a man and larger than any of us, so that's in your favor. You won't know which one you're fighting until we start, so the element of surprise will be in our favor.

"The contest lasts forty-five minutes on a wrestling mat. After that it's over, and as we said, no matter what happens, we will keep our end of the bargain. In those forty-five minutes, one of us is going to try to get her fist into you and milk you. Once we've squeezed every last bit of come from you onto the mat, we'll make you lick it all up. As soon as you do, it's over.

"For you to win, all you have to do is stick one of your hands inside our vagina and the other inside our ass. You've got two goals, just like we do. And the advantage for you is that even if we've got a hand inside your ass and are pumping your cock, you might be able to get both your hands in, and if you do, you've won and we'd have to stop. You would be spared at least part of the humiliation.

"Our goal is to totally degrade and humble you while we walk away with no consequences. And that would be your goal, too. Which brings us to the last part.

"We've never really trusted you after what you did to Ellen. Because you are bigger than us, you might try to violate the rules. But we will have a backup security plan to take care of any tricks.

"If one of us wins fair and square, and you try to do something after you've lost, we get to do anything we want to you. With four of us attacking you, a lot of things are possible, and we've had a great time making a list. Any questions?"

"Yes. How long did you say?"

"Forty-five minutes."

"What if nothing happens in forty-five minutes?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what if I agree and two of us go at it for forty-five minutes, but neither of us can get an advantage and we fight to a draw?"

Bianca looked at the others. I could see none of them had thought of that possibility.