Mirror Mirror

Dear Dr. Jo,

I looked in the mirror, just as I had so many times over the last few months. What was different? My extra weight, my pale white skin, the stretch marks that permeated my lower regions.

Before I go further, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Mandy, and this is one of the stranger things you have probably heard, although I imagine you get your fair share of unusual happenings.

I recently had a child, Jazmine. Allow me to rephrase, my boyfriend Ken and I recently had a daughter. Only it feels like just me, because of Ken's constant work and lack of interest in our child. Or maybe that is the way I perceive the situation. Ken claims to be too tired and stressed, when I voice my complaints. Which I don't do anymore.

The problem is, we are both 22 years old, and this child, our lovely daughter, was not planned. We began dating after meeting in a coed softball league, and because of some bad timing and luck, I happened to get pregnant. Ken mentioned we had *options*, but abortion was out of the question for me.

That meant Ken had to quit his dreams of becoming a dental assistant, and has to work long hours at a buffet restauran. The work is hard, and his manager is a crotchety old man. I was an office assistant, but had to quit at 6 months and now I have to take care of Jazmine for a while.

Our parents would love to help, but we both have older siblings in college, so money is not too readily available. We do the best to get by, but the stress of a baby, long work hours for Ken, and new motherhood for me, has caused a strain on our relationship.

Jazmine is four months old now, and to be perfectly honest, we have not had sex since. The doctor said we had to wait six weeks, but that was two and a half months ago! I brought it up once, but Ken dismissed it, saying he has been real tired lately and we are so busy with the baby.

I don't believe he finds me attractive anymore. I have always been a tall, large girl, but my pregnancy has left me, well, fat. My mom says not to worry, but the extra weight and stretch marks don't go well...not to mention the drooping breasts from feeding, and my pale skin since we don't make it out in the sun much. So there I was-

I looked in the mirror, just as I had so many times over the last few months. What was different? My extra weight, my alabaster skin, the stretch marks that permeated my lower regions.

The sound of the doorbell shocked me out of my stupor. I wasn't expecting anyone, and it was 10 am, an unusual opportunity to sleep in, given Jazmine's usual early morning wake up cries. I only had time to throw on a small silk robe my mother bought me for me birthday.

"Who is it?"

"Hey Mandy, its Brian Bruno" the voice responded.

I couldn't believe it. This guy, this man, Brian Bruno; was on Ken's softball team. He was a bit older than us, about 25, and has his own insurance business. Before I dated Ken, Brian and I got matched up in this silly game of spin the bottle. About twelve of us from two different teams ended up playing during a night of drinking. It was over two years ago, but I still remember the way his lips felt. Ken and I became an item a few weeks later, but I always found myself feeling funny around Brian, and watching just a bit more intently when he was up to bat. Now he was at my door.

"Come in" I said, opening the door.

"Hey there Mandy" he said, offering his hand.

I welcomed him, and tried to hold my robe together while offering him a handshake.

"Ken told me to come by to see the baby, is he here?"

"No, I'm afraid they have him on for several hours today...they work him too much"

"Is he still at the restaurant?" Brian asked.

"Yea, but hopefully I can go back to work soon, and he can work less hours."

"I've been meaning to come back for a while now, just been busy with all those hail damage claims"

We made small talk and I invited Ken to come to look at Jazmine, since her crib was right there in the living room. He accepted, and spoke of how beautiful she was. He said Ken and I were lucky to have a family.

"Easy for you to say, you live the life of a a bachelor" I joked.

"But I'd rather have this" he responded.

"Well, Brian and I don't have a moment to catch our breath. It really is a life change"

"Well I come from a big family, it wouldn't bother me at all" Brian said.

Just then, Jazmine began to cry.

"Someone must be wet, or something else....." Brian said and we both laughed.

"Yea, she's pretty good at that!"

I felt her diaper to see which chore would be my fate. I couldn't feel anything, which meant something else- she was hungry.

"Nope, looks like feeding time" I said.

I didn't occur to me to ask Brian to leave, but I guess it would have been correct. I picked up Jazmine, and sat in our lazy boy chair so I could feed her.

Brian leaned against the bar in our living room and we continued talking about old softball games, and people in the league.

It was then that I noticed that when he wasn't the one speaking, he would occasionally steal glances at my chest. When I breastfeed at a restaurant or the mall, a guy will occasionally walk by and notice. Brian noticed, and I could tell that this usually confident man was getting a bit flustered.

He tried to look around, but eventually he always came back to my breasts...like it was something he couldn't help. I became self conscious, but I couldn't cover up much, given the way I was sitting, and the thinness of the robe. In my efforts to shift myself, the part covering my legs fell to the side, showing more of my pasty thigh.

Brian's eyes danced all over the place, as he tried to carry on the conversation. Finally, he gave up, and simply stared at my exposed body. Every time I shifted, I ended up making matters worse, by showing more of myself to this handsome man. A man I was once quite attracted to, without my boyfriend in the house. This was becoming an inappropriate situation, and one of us should have made a wise decision.

He could have offered to excuse himelf, or I should have made up a whitle lie, about an errand to run to the store. However, we both just froze and stopped chatting.

When Jazmine was done feeding, I managed to shift her to burping position carefully, but I think Brian may have seen my boob, particularly the nipple. When I heard the magic sound, I raced her over to the crib.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Brian's hand move quickly to his crotch. He was obviously trying to conceal or adjust something, thinking that I could not see. The sexual tension in the room was palpable.

I managed to get Jaz situated in the crib. I must have adjusted the blanket a hundred times, hoping it would give us a chance to cool down. There was still a continued silence.

When I went to turn around, I couldn't. Brian was behind me and wouldn't let me move. His hands came around and held me tight. I felt his soft lips nuzzling at my neck.

"You feel so good" was all he would say.

He began to kiss my neck, sending chills down my spine. I felt so good, with his occasional nibbles and breathing in my ear.

"Kiss me" he said.

I half turned my head, and my lips met his, just as they did at that party years ago. When his tongue invaded my mouth, I opened wide, thirsty for its advance. His hands moved up to my breasts, and he squezed, the squirting lactation, shocking me out of my trance.

"Not in front of the baby...." was all I could out, ashamed of this lewd act.

I turned in his arms, as he moved me towards the couch.

"We can't do this Brian" I said, in between kisses.

He said nothing, but continued to trace his hand all over my leaking breasts, the other going under my robe until he found my pliant ass.

"I can't help it, you feel like such a woman" as he bent down and began to suck my breast.

I felt depraved, letting this good friend of my guy, suck milk intended for my child and in our home no less! But I did nothing to stop him....it felt so good. I should have.

Brian backed me towards the couch, and I fell back on it, my robe falling apart in the process.

"We can't do this" I said, but my arms still around him.

When I looked down, and saw my red pussy hair was now exposed, I tried to clench my robe together. By this time, he had his pants unbuttoned with one hand, his fleshy cock out in the open. When I tried to reach to grab my robe, I brushed his cock instead, precum leaking all over my hand.

I found him very attractive, but this was cheating, and now I was a mother, and he was a friend no less. But I hadn't had sex in four months, six if you count the last two months of my pregnancy!

My hands tried to stop him from getting to my pussy. But when I did, he started to touch my stretch marks and my thighs. Whatever I would cover, he would find somewhere else to explore. My breasts, my legs, my marks, my butt, We were in hand to hand combat.

"You feel like such a woman" he repeated, as if he couldn't help himself.

I was so conflicted, I didn't know where this was going. I couldn't believe this gorgeous man, wanted my bloated body. Finally, my reason took over.

"Brian, we can't do this, I'm ovulating, you'll knock me up again!"

"That is what I want Mandy...Ken is so lucky."

Before I could react, Brian had both his hands gripped on my wrists. He lined up my his cock like a pool stick, and took a quick lunge. It sounded like a balloon popping as he entered me. I screamed, but my legs automatically went about him.

"You feel so good" was all he said repeatedly.

I groaned in response, digging my heels instinctively under his butt, and reaching under his dress shirt, to get to his muscular back.

"Oh Brian, you're going to get me pregnant"

"Brian, you're fucking me so hard, your gonna get me ....." was all I could mutter. "We have to stop"

He kept pumping, undeterred by my words. The faster he went, the better it felt, the more I tried to hold him tight. I should have been pushing him off!!

But it had been so long since I had been touched. And he was so strong, such a man.

"Do you want me to stop?" he said, as he pounded me in to the couch, not caring of my answer.

"We should use a condom" was all I managed to get out, giving up on either of our judgement now.

Brian kept pounding, bringing me close to orgasm.

"We can't do this" I said, but still clinging to him and fucking him back.

"I can't help it, it feels too good." he responded

Brian kept stroking and was not going to stop. His force so strong, he moved the couch pushing into to the cushions. We were sweating now, my read hair dripping on the leather of the couch, my sweaty hands all over his plunging body.

"I'm gonna cum"

"You can't" I said, but squeezing him in with my hands and gripping thighs, trying to trigger my orgasm at the same time.

When he squirted me with his come, the warm baste shot up my vaginal tunnel. I had the strongest orgasm I've ever experienced, first stopping, and then shaking out of control, and I spasmed around his body. We stopped and kissed, his brown eyes looking deeply in to mine.

After five minutes of this intimacy, he got off me. The reality of what we had done permeated our minds, but we said nothing. I went to the bathroom, my robe falling to the floor as I made my way to the mirror-

I looked in the mirror, just as I had so many times over the last few months. What was different? My extra weight, my pale white skin, the stretch marks that permeated my lower regions.

But now my hair was sweaty, as was the rest of my body. The cum of my Ken's friend, leaking down my thigh. Only not all of it was going to leak out....

Looking in the mirror, I saw Brian's face coming up behind me. He moved in a swift matter, and got behind me. He gripped my hair in one hand, and placed his cock at my entry again. Before I could say anything, he was inside me, eased by the massive amount of cum he had deposited earlier.

It felt so good, there was no way I could or wanted to stop him. He cupped both of my breasts in his hands, and proceeded to squeeze them again. Once again, the resulting lactation drove him crazy...and I felt like every inch of my body was alive. I felt like such a woman as he had been saying. That I was to get pregnant, lactate, to have him do his manly duty. I felt dirty, but so alive at the same time.

"Look at us" he demanded, so that I would open my eyes.

I reluctantly did, feeling so bad for what I was doing, yet so hot for him. It was even more intense than our first session, this more animalistic in it nature.

I felt him about to come again, and I was out of my mind with lust.

"Go ahead Brian, fertilize my eggs." I panted, sick that I said such a thing.

He shot his baby batter in me, and again I followed, dizzy with the feel of pure sex.

After more sex in the shower, he got dressed as I made him lunch. I walked around half exposed in the robe as he ate and looked at my- as he called them *alabaster legs*. He was now fully dressed, and looking great.

When I made a move to straighten his tie, I bent slightly over, to do so. When I did, his knee ended up partially between my fat thighs. Before I knew it, we were up on the table, having sex again, while Jazmine slept in the other room. She would soon enough, have someone else in the house to cry and be changed.

Now I go over to Brian's during the day, several times a week. I put Jazmine in the spare bedroom and he and I practice making babies all over the rest of the house. I haven't had a period in twelve weeks so I assume we did it right, but we fuck repeatedly, just want to make sure.

He says I should really have sex with Ken, so there is no confusion when I *come up pregnant*. He gives me money, and will pay for whatever I need to once the baby arrives. He would like Jaz and I to move in with him, but will understand if I continue my obligation to Ken. I love Ken, and I think I love Brian now.

What should I do?