Misplaced Jealousy

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"No. I don't think I'll ever be ok again," she replied as she walked out as a stunned group of people looked on. "I'll never be able to show my face in there again," she said getting into her car.

The knot on her face, right below her left eye, started to throb and swell up as she pulled into her son Kenny's drive way. His wife Lisa met her at the door and asked what the hell happened to her face.

"Lisa, questions later, just get me some ice will you please?"

A frozen bag of peas on and off for about twenty minutes reduced the swelling, but Ann could see that she was going to have one hell of a shiner.

"Ann who did this to you?" Lisa asked.

"I did it to myself," was all she would say.

"When Kenny came home, shortly there after, he had a cow when his mother wouldn't tell him how she'd gotten the black eye.

"Dad didn't do this to you did he?"

"No. Your father has never laid a hand on me in all the years I've ever known him. He's been the most kind and understanding man I've ever known. I'm just sorry I drove him away. I hope his next wife will be more to his liking."

Kenny finally got me on my cell phone.

"Dad, you've got to get over here right now. Something's wrong with mom and she not quiet right in the head. I don't know what happened but I think you should take her to the hospital right away," my son told me.

I never would have guessed Ann would be at Kenny's because Ann didn't care much for Lisa. She thought Lisa pushed Kenny too hard so they could have the finer things in life. Who would have known?

"Ann what happened to your face?" I asked as I walked into the living room.

"Steve, let's just go home." Ann said standing up and grabbing my arm.

It was a quiet ride until Ann spoke up.

"Tammy and I got into it at the gym. I told her to stay away from you after I punched her. She punched me back and told me she wasn't sleeping with you. As you can see, I got worst of our exchange," Ann said as we pulled into our garage.

When we got into the house I should have grabbed her, told her how much I loved her and that she was all I cared about. Instead I did something really stupid. I told her the truth and that I was just trying to make her jealous.

As I tried to explain what I did and why, she just looked at me saying nothing. But that didn't last long. Mount Saint Ann was about to erupt.

"Let me get this straight. You set this up with Beth, Cindy and Tammy to make me jealous so I would have more sex with you? Is that right? You let me make a complete ass of myself in front of thirty people at the gym because you wanted back into my pants? All this was just some sick game of yours? Is that all you think of me? Just a toy, a plaything for you to put your dick in and get off with? What happened to me being your loving wife, you partner, the mother of your damn kids?" Ann said as she peppered me with question after question.

"You miserable piece of shit, get the hell out of my sight," Ann screamed at me as she stepped forward.

"Ann I did it for us," I tried to say as she hit me with her fists all the while screaming at me to get the hell away from her and out of her house.

Ann pick up the canisters off the counter and threw them at me along with anything else she could get her hands on. I'd never seen her this angry as she kept yelling and screaming at me to leave.

I left for no better reason than to defuse the situation and to let her cool down. But that didn't happen. When I came home later that night she was gone.

I found out later she had gone back to my son's house. Thursday, after I'd left for work, Lisa came over to the house and got some more of her clothes.

I spent the rest of that week eating crow and trying to get Ann to talk to me. I found out later, that she'd talked to both Beth and Cindy and laid into them as well. As I said, my plan backfired miserably.

For the next week, I called, sent e-mails to her work and even went over to my son's house to talk to her. Nothing worked.

"Mom doesn't want to see or talk to you dad, Kenny told me.

"Just let me talk to her for a minute," I pleaded with him.

"Sorry dad, I think you really screwed up bad this time," he told me.

Friday I got the surprise of my life.

"Mr. Stephen Moore?" the man asked as I answered the door in my running clothes.

"Yes, can I help you?"

"You've been served, have a nice day," he said handing me a manila envelope.

I didn't even read the paperwork. I was in my car in two minutes later heading for my son's house.

My son met me on the steps.

"You son of a bitch, you let me get blind sided," I yelled at him. "Where the fuck is she?"

"Her and Lisa took off because they knew you'd be here sooner or later."

"Well then I'll just wait for them God damn it." I told my son.

"Can't let you do that dad," Kenny told me.

"Why the hell not?" I asked.

"Mom asked me not to," was his only reply.

"Well, you'd better call the cops now, because I'm not fucking leaving."

The little prick did just that. I was escorted off his property and twenty-four hours later I had a restraining order against me.

I got angry and changed the locks on the house. Two could play that game. My other son, Jimmy, tried to mediate what was going down but everyone told him to stay the hell out of it. It got real ugly when Ann tried to get her clothes from the house. Lisa and Kenny came to the door, but I wouldn't let them in.

"Get the fuck off my property or I'll call the cops," I yelled at them through the door.

"Dad, just let us get mom's clothes," he asked.

"Can't. Unless you have a court order and receipts, she's not going to get squat. I've got half a mind to have a little bon fire in the back yard to get rid of some of the crap in the house," I told them, as Kenny got mad and tried to force his way into the house.

The police escorted a pissed off Kenny and Lisa from my property. Payback's a bitch.

I tossed the divorce paperwork into the trash and told her I wouldn't sign them. I didn't get a lawyer and avoided hers at every turn. I never returned phone calls, e-mails and never answered the door if I didn't know who it was, same at work. If she wanted a divorce, she was going to have to work for it. I thought maybe with time, she'd soften a little.

Guess I was wrong.

After six months of wrangling, I thought I was gaining a little until Ann started dating and making sure I knew about it. She was going here and there and made sure she rubbed my nose in it whenever she got the chance.

"Tom said I was the best lay he's had in years," Ann's e-mail to the house read. "Just thought you might like to know that not everyone thinks I'm some dried out shell of a women." The enclosed picture of her in bed with him was enough to ruin this week and the following six months.

I wrote off Ann, Kenny, Lisa and for a while my other son Jimmy. I'd done something stupid and lost it all. I went into a deep depression and ended up on meds and with a psychologist, a female no less. Once a week I would pour out my heart and tell her what a stupid ass I'd been. But after three months, She made me realize, it wasn't entirely my fault.

From day one, I kept a journal writing down my feelings about Ann and everyone one else. I lamented how I'd let my life get out of sorts and how Ann and I stop communicating. I started going on trips, for work, for the first time in ten years. It kept my mind off my troubles and my feet grounded.

Every once in a while I'd run into someone I knew and they say how sorry they were to hear that Ann and I broke up. Then they'd add that they'd seen her with so and so, like I really wanted to know that. I stopped going to spinning and dropped my membership to the gym. No use running into other people I knew, who it seemed took great pride in telling me how well Ann was doing.

The only constant in my life was, I still ran like a man possessed.

I was on a long run one Sunday morning when I heard a familiar voice behind me.

"I thought you moved or died," Tammy said catching up to me.

"Just inside," I told her slowing down so she could keep up.

"I feel responsible for what happened," she said stopping.

"Wasn't your fault, I started it and looks like I finished it," I told her.

"Well, you look like shit. Why don't you stop by some time and I'll fix you a home cooked meal, you certainly know where I live."

"I just might take you up on your offer when I get back in town. I'll at least call. How about that?" I told her.

"Well, I'll let it slide this time. Remember you owe me a call when you get back," she said as she gave me a big hug and kiss.

I planned on taking four days vacation before heading out on a two-week swing calling on our customers in the North East. It was supposed to be a P.R. trip; it had been my boss's idea.

"Get the hell out of here for a couple of weeks. You're going through the motions and you need to get your head and ass wired together again. Do the N.E. territories and I'll see you back here when you're done. I reminded him that I'd put in for a few days of vacation.

"Ok. So, I won't see you for three weeks. It's not like the world is going to stop revolving if you're gone for a while. Just make sure Kathy is up to speed and your team leaders know what to do. Have a good trip, get laid and I'll see you when you get back."

Tuesday morning I woke up in almost a good mood. I grabbed a pair of shorts, my running shoes and headed out for a long run. The weather was perfect and I was using the time to clear my head and to plan where my life was going to take me in the next couple of months.

"I think I'll sell the house. It's too big for just me and I can rent an apartment until I figure out where I'm going to end up. I'd taken a few bucks out of the bank and had bought a small one-bedroom condo in Sarasota Florida. I now planned on retiring there in the next three or four years. Ann and I had talked about it years ago, and it looked like I was going to do it all by myself.

After passing the big Catholic Church I impatiently waited at a stop signal across from the school. I almost crossed against the light, because I saw only one car coming, but for some unknown reason I decided to wait. The light turned green and I started across, so did a group of school kids with their teacher on the other side.

What made me look I haven't a clue. Only that I looked to the right and noticed that the car wasn't slowing down. I yelled for the kids to get back on the curb but they just stopped to watch the crazy man yelling at them.

I did the fifteen-yard dash in world record time even with my arms completely outstretched. I pushed all ten kids including the teacher back, knocking most of them to the ground.

That's all I remember.

I tried to open my eyes but only one cooperated. I had a hard time focusing and getting my brain to work. I saw two faces looking down at me as I tried to say something.

"Can you tell me your name? Who is Ann?" they asked.

I lifted my head up a little then everything went black again. The next time I awoke, I felt something pressed against my forehead. It took me a couple of minutes to try and take everything in, but I was still at a loss. I raised my right arm and saw nothing but tubes, same as my left. A dark haired angel with olive skin was wetting my lips and putting a few drops of liquid into my open mouth. I think I probably looked like a baby bird trying to get a juicy worm.

"Don't try to talk. You've been in an accident and are in the hospital. Don't try to lift your head, just relax. Do you know your name?" she asked.

I could hear the question and I understood it. It's just that my body wasn't responding and I couldn't reply. I got frustrated and the next thing I knew I was in la la land again.

I had indeed managed to push everyone back onto the curb and beyond. That is everyone but myself. The driver eventually tried to break but ended up hitting both of my legs while I was in midair pushing everyone back. The force of the collision spun me around like a top and my head and body smashed into the side of his car.

I ended up with two broken legs, four cracked ribs, a punctured lung, a concussion and a broken nose along with a ton of scraped and contusions. I was a mess. The teacher said I called out the name Ann just before I lost consciousness and went into a fifteen-day coma. The nurse told me I did come out of it, but after about two minutes I was out for another five days.

I had no identification on me and my face was swollen and pretty scraped up. The local news station played up the story of a local hero who had risked his life to save a first grade class and teacher. No one knew who I was and they were asking for the public's help in identifying me. They listed my description but never posted a picture of my face because it was such a mess, but no one came forward.

Tammy was eating dinner and watching the news when they asked again for help in indentifying the hero jogger. When she heard it had been by the big Catholic Church on Tenth Street she put her fork down.

"That's our route," she said to herself.

She'd missed most of the story and called the news station.

"The jogger," she asked. "Can you give me his description again?"

"He's about 5'10 or 11" tall, brown hair and about 175 pounds they told Tammy. Do you think you know who he is?" they asked.

"I need to make a quick call. I'll get back to you," she replied.

"Pick up damn it, pick up," she yelled into the phone. "Screw it," she said racing out of her apartment, jumping into her car and heading out. "Please, please, please don't be who I think it is," she said to herself as she pulled into Steve's driveway. His car was parked up by the garage and after pounding on the door for about five minutes she tried to look in the windows.

"Can I help you?" a man asked as she came back around to the front of the house.

"Have you seen Steve lately? I'm a friend of his and I can't seem to find him," she explained.

"Last I heard he was going out of town for a couple of weeks, but that was a while ago. I mowed his lawn the last two times, but no I haven't seen hide nor hair of him. It was a real shame that he and the misses broke up, he took it pretty hard," he told me.

"Do you have a key to his place?" I asked.

"I do have a key, but only for emergencies."

"Take my word for it, it's an emergency," Tammy said loudly.

It looked like someone left to pickup the newspaper and never came back. Coffee was made but not started. Bagels and butter were on the kitchen table and the light in his bathroom was still on.

"What hospital is he at?" Tammy asked the news station writing it down and heading out again. "Just lock up, I have a bad feeling I know where Steve is," she said driving away.

"His face was still puffy and swollen because of his broken nose. The cuts had started to heal and it didn't take more than a minute for Tammy to make a positive identification.

"He's mention the name Ann a few times and he's no longer in a coma, but is not totally back just yet, his personal nurse told Tammy. When he was in the coma, the church would send someone every day to read to him and is currently picking up the tab for his medical treatment. He's kind of our resident celebrity," the nurse said with a smile as she gently pushed the hair off his forehead.

"His name is Stephen Moore and he lives at 1725 Southeast 12th Street," I told her as she wrote it all down. I gave her the name of the company he worked for and told them that Ann was his ex-wife. I gave her my name and phone number and told her to keep me abreast of his condition.

I can't believe that no one noticed Steve was missing. Shit didn't his work even bother to check on him when he didn't show up? How about his kids? Then I remembered that since the divorce Steve no longer talked to them after they'd taken Ann's side in the divorce. I was going to call them when I got home, but the news station beat me to the punch.

"Breaking news," they cut in on one of the evening soaps. "The Saint Mary Church hero has been positively identified as Stephen Moore of Orlando Florida," the spokesmen announced. "He is still in Mercy hospital recovering from his injuries. The only words he's spoken since his heroic effort was to call out the name Ann. So Ann, if you're out there, Steve's looking for you." Even the national news stations also picked up on the story. I guess everyone wanted to hear some good news for a change.

Everyone pretty much found out all at once. Family and friends of Steve all called each other and swarmed the hospital to be met by a totally pissed off Tammy.

"He's been in a coma for thirty days, and no one missed him? What kind of family does he have?" she shouted at them as they all gave one excuse or another. "All he wanted was his perfect life back, his two sons and a wife he loved more than life itself. And instead of talking to him and trying to work it out, you all blind sided him and tossed him on the garbage heap. You all make me sick. So go back home to your wonderful lives and leave him the fuck alone, because none of you deserve him. I guess he showed everyone what he was made of and so did the bunch of you," she said as she went back into his room.

They mulled around for a bit, talked to the doctor and gave the hospital all the medical information they needed. Tammy was sitting by the side of the bed, holding his hand when Ann walked into the room.

"Get the fuck out of here," Tammy shouted at her. "You gave him up, he's no longer your husband to kick around. So go back to your boyfriend and your new wonderful life because as God is my witness I'll drop you where you stand if you're not out of here in the next ten seconds," Tammy said getting to her feet.

Ann started to cry and walked out. She talked to the doctor and gave him her cell and work number and told him to make sure she was notified of any change in his condition. She next went to his house and her old neighbor greeted her as she pulled up.

"Isn't it something else? Steve put his life on the line saved all those kids without even considering the consequences. When he gets out the whole neighborhood is planning on throwing him a big party. I hear that teacher stops by to see him every day since the accident. She calls him her knight in shinning armor. I guess I can't blame her," he told me.

I asked if he still had the key to the house and if he'd let me in.

"I guess it'll be alright. Everyone was surprised when the two of you broke up. You're husband took it pretty hard, but I guess you already knew that."

He let me in the house and left. I had no idea what I was even doing in Steve's house. I hadn't been back since he changed the locks and Kenny had picked up the rest of my stuff.

Nothing had changed. Hell, even the empty hangers were still on the floor in the living room where he'd dumped my clothes. I walked upstairs to what had used to be our bedroom. Besides my clothes missing, it was exactly the same except for a few holes in the wall where Steve had probably taken out his anger. Opening the drawer on my night table, I found all my stuff was still in there and Steve's was piled with a stack of loose-leaf notebooks. I sat on the bed, grabbed his pillow, brought it to my face and smelled it. It was Steve's scent all right as I continued to hold it against my chest. I put the pillow against the headboard and lay back on his side of the bed looking up at the ceiling. What made me grab the top notebook I'll never know? It's just that I did and opened it. It was Steve's latest journal.

"I never knew," is all Ann said to herself as she started to read the outpouring of emotions Steve had put to paper. His heart and soul were all layed out in these four notebooks. It took me almost three days of non-stop reading to get through all four of them. About half way through, I though maybe I shouldn't be reading them, but I couldn't stop.