Moving In and Moving On

"What am I doing?" I whispered to myself, though of course Jack could hear it too.

I pushed myself away as far as my arms would go and looked down at him. I wanted to pretend, even just for a little while, that he wasn't my brother. That it wasn't such a big deal to be making out with him. But the thought kept resurfacing no matter how much I tried to ignore it.

"I think that's pretty obvious," Jack answered, knowing full well that I wasn't looking for his input.

"You know what I mean. And why aren't you stopping me for that matter?"

"'Cause I don't really want to stop you," he replied with a casual shrug.

"No, of course not," I said more bitterly than I meant to. "Why would you ever stop a girl from throwing herself at you. That's what you live for."

"Come on Deb, it's not like that. I didn't mean that I...." He sighed heavily. "You're not just another girl you know."

"I know. I'm your sister. That's why you should be stopping me right now. Actually more like a few minutes ago before this went way too far."

Despite my words I hadn't moved any more than Jack had. I wanted to leave, to go lock myself in my room and cry and hope that my problems would go away. I also wanted to stay right where I was. So far inertia was winning.

"I won't tell anyone if you don't," he said.

I started to say something twice and stopped myself both times. As if it was that simple.

"Seriously," he said, "you obviously don't want to stop so I'm assuming you're worried about someone else finding out. That doesn't have to happen."

"Or maybe 'cause it's wrong," I said.

"Yeah, maybe. Is that what it is? Because I know you well enough that I don't think that's really it. You don't mindlessly stick to popular morality the way some people do."

He was right. I didn't really think what we were doing was wrong or sick or abhorrent, but maybe that was what worried me more than anything else. It shouldn't be so easy to get around those feelings. Maybe I was just worried there was something deeply wrong with me.

Who was I kidding, there was obviously something wrong with me.

"Maybe we should take some time to think about it," I said quietly, and completely unconvincingly.

"If you want to."

I still didn't move and neither did Jack attempt to escape from underneath me. All he did was let his hands start roaming again, eventually slipping under my shirt and onto the bare skin beneath. So unhelpful.

"Why do I feel like you've thought about this more than I have?" I asked.

"I dunno. I mean, I haven't really. It's just always been one of those things where I never expected anything would ever happen, you know? Like it's just sort of assumed. But then today...." He shrugged. "I think I'm probably just more comfortable doing stuff other people aren't going to approve of. It's kind of my thing."

I snorted softly. "Yeah, that sounds about right."

Of course it was simpler for him, it always was. That was one of the things that made him so annoying. But now, I wanted that too. I wanted things to be simpler. I just needed to stop thinking about it so much.

As Jack continued caressing me and pushing my shirt dangerously far up my body, I leaned in and kissed him again. It felt good to just let go and ignore my conscience. What the hell did it know anyway? It might keep me out of trouble, but that didn't necessarily mean I would be happy.

Possibly the universe had a grudge against people who had just experienced minor epiphanies, more likely it was pure coincidence that the doorbell rang just then. I let out a frustrated growl and Jack smiled apologetically as he rolled me off of him. I thought about asking, or telling, him not to go, but that was just a little too pathetic even for me in my current state. Besides, even if I'd been ignoring my stomach, I was getting pretty hungry.

I sighed and curled up on the bed as Jack went to meet the pizza guy. Fucking life. With my luck he'd change his mind as soon as he had a minute or two to really think without me in his face. Then it'd just be awkward.

Even in the face of my returned fears I couldn't help giggling a little to myself. Jack think things through? Yeah right. If nothing else I could usually count on him not to go into deep personal introspection. If he hadn't told me to fuck off by now, it probably wasn't going to happen.

With some reluctance I climbed off the bed and padded out into the kitchen. Jack was there, already halfway through a slice of pizza that he held in one hand. He smiled at me briefly before turning back to his task of examining each of my cupboards.

"Hey Deb, where's your plates at?" he asked, his mouth not quite empty.

That small reassurance that he truly hadn't changed his mind to any significant extent, not that he made obvious anyway, was enough for me. He managed to locate my plates before I made it over to him, so instead of pointing them out I stepped behind him and wrapped my arms around him.

"What are doing now you weirdo?" he asked, sounding quite amused.

"Hugging you, asshole. It's something normal people do sometimes."

He might not have changed his mind, but he hadn't changed as a person much either. He was still going be just as obnoxious as ever, and I found that I was okay with that. It would leave me a channel for releasing some aggression when I needed to.

I let go of him and grabbed the plate he had taken for himself before he could make it back to the table. He rolled his eyes and I stuck my tongue out at him. I could be a brat too when I felt like it.

It was fairly quiet while we ate. I was hungrier even than I had realized before I started and Jack seemed to feel more or less the same, not that I asked him. I finished eating first, not because I ate faster or anything, but more because I didn't eat as much as my brother even when I was starving. I toyed with the half of a pizza crust left on my plate while I waited for him, my mind already trying to figure out what was going to happen and whether I needed to say anything.

I ended up opting for the silent option as I waited for my brother to finish. Once he was more or less done I stood up and took his hand, tugging gently on it to urge him to follow me. He came along far more cooperatively than could usually be expected, though it was hardly under usual circumstances.

Despite the aura of control I tried to project, I felt a distinct sense of nervousness as we reentered his bedroom. It wasn't like I was walking into an unknown situation, and I'd pretty much settled my moral objections at least temporarily, but it was still a big step to take.

It turned out to be Jack that gave me a renewed sense of confidence, or maybe just determination. He had that self-assured, slightly smug look on his face that irritated me so much and I knew there was no way I was going to let him think he was in charge. He'd be insufferable if I did.

He let me push him toward the bed and started removing his shirt without any prompting. As soon as it was clear of his head I kissed him and felt him pull me closer, already beginning to work on my shirt too. I liked the lack of restraint he was showing since it indicated that, despite how well he hid it, he hadn't really wanted to be interrupted any more than me. I wasn't the only one losing control.

As soon as he got my shirt off, Jack immediately went for my bra and I decided I needed to reign him in just a little. I gave him a shove backward so he fell onto the bed and crawled on top of him, straddling his hips. He didn't struggle or try to push me off at all, but he did reach up and grab my boobs in an almost defiant way. That was fine with me, we both had the same goal after all, just as long as he didn't think I planned on lying back and letting him do whatever he wanted. All the years of being his sister had left me with an instinct never to surrender to him regardless of whether it was in my interest to do so or not.

While Jack played with my breasts I started rocking back and forth in small movements, grinding against his crotch. I could feel him hardening beneath me and it was a weirdly sexy thought knowing I was purposefully giving my brother an erection. So dirty.

"You're gonna have to let me take my pants off if you keep doing that," Jack said.

"Why's that?" I asked, making the most innocent face I could manage under the circumstances.

He rolled his eyes and abruptly pushed me to the side and off of him. I giggled a little, though my focus was quickly drawn to his pants as he removed them, or more to the point the area they no longer covered. His cock, though still protected by his underwear, was doing its best to make itself obvious. I must have been more effective than I thought at turning him on.

Deciding he'd earned it I didn't make any effort to fight him off this time when he once again reached for the clasp on my bra. Discarding the unwanted piece of clothing he took a moment just to examine my naked breasts, his face so close I could feel his breath on my sensitive skin. I squirmed a bit with a combination impatience and horniness as he refused to touch me for what seemed like far too long. Just before I decided to see if I could reach his cock from where I was, he darted forward and sucked one of my nipples between his lips. I jumped at the sudden contact, but was quick to moan my approval and place a hand on the back of his head to confirm I wanted him there.

Jack switched between my nipples a few times, making sure to give them both some attention. Even more than the pure physical pleasure of the action, I loved the feeling of being new and fascinating to someone. It had been far too long since I'd experienced anything like that.

"Mmm, you really like my boobies huh?" I said, almost to myself for as much as I expected Jack to be listening.

He ignored me for another moment or two, then looked up at me.

"Of course I do, who the hell wouldn't?" he asked.

"I dunno, just thought you'd have gotten used to breasts by now."

"Yeah, but yours are like... well I mean they're awesome all on their own and everything, but they're also the ones I could never have, you know? Until now anyway."

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh? So you're telling me your sister's boobs are more interesting then someone else's would be?"

"More or less, I suppose."

"All those times I couldn't get you to shut up all I needed to do was take my shirt off. Wish I'd known it was so simple."

"Pff, you never would have done it. And you'd have called me a perv if you ever caught me looking."

"Maybe you're right." I pretended to think about it. "Nah, I think getting you to sit down and be quiet would have been worth it. And you're still a perv."

I hadn't started out trying to get a reaction out my brother, yet that's where we ended up anyway. Habits can be hard to break.

Jack went for my sides without warning, tickling them mercilessly as I belatedly tried to fend him off without success. Very soon we were both laughing and going for each other's sensitive spots, including some that had been off limits before today. Jack hands never seemed to stray from my breasts or ass for very long and for my part I made sure to press against his cock at every opportunity. I really liked it when he would pin me to the mattress with his erection right between my legs near my pussy, though of course I was too stubborn to let him know how much it got to me and I'd make sure to squirm away or wrestle him off of me, which was a fun activity all on its own when doing it half-naked.

It didn't take all that long before both of us stopped trying so hard and our struggle to get the upper hand became little more than a pretense. Jack ended up on top, partly just because he was stronger, and also because that's the way I wanted it.

My pants had ended up pulled partway down my legs due to Jack fumbling with them, while his cock had gotten free of his underwear and poked urgently at my barely-still-covered pussy. My panties were the only things still in the way and they really weren't much of a barrier.

I managed to kick my pants the rest of the way off while Jack finished removing his underwear. The head of his cock rubbed back and forth over my panties as he adjusted his position and got comfortable above me. I was so turned on I was sure I must have been soaking through them. That could have just been my imagination though. Jack would be able to tell better than me what state my panties were in.

Rather than getting rid of them completely as I expected he would, he instead opted for simply pulling them to the side. I'd known it was coming, but as he pressed against my pussy lips it all became so much more real. My own brother was going to be inside me and I wanted it so, so badly.

Even without him saying anything I felt Jack hesitate just a little. He looked at me with the silent question on his face and I nodded in response.

"I'm ready," I said.

That confirmation was all it took for him to take the final step. I found myself holding my breath as he entered me and I had to consciously let it out before I fainted. It was all so intense there was no way I could concentrate on everything I wanted to, especially while part of my brain kept trying to simultaneously analyze and ignore the fact that I was having sex with my brother.

Despite my mental struggle, overwhelmingly it just felt good. Not that sex was usually unpleasant, but this had the extra elements of both being forbidden and helping to justify to myself that I really didn't need my ex-boyfriend after all.

I wrapped my arms around Jack's back and rocked back against his thrusts as his rhythm built. It was kind of nice not having to be on my guard with him for probably the first time in years. Nice to be able to be so close, even if it was for socially unacceptable reasons. Who cared what anyone else thought though? None of their business what we did.

"Harder," I urged. "You can do better than that for your sister can't you?"

I wasn't sure where that came from, the vocal reminder of just how wrong the whole thing was. It didn't faze Jack though, and might have even helped because he obeyed perfectly. His strokes grew harder and more deliberate to the point where I was in danger of getting bruises in some very uncomfortable places. I didn't care if I had to spend the next week recovering, there was no way in hell I was going to tell him to slow down. I'm sure he had no plans of doing so anyway.

"How's that... my sister?" he asked, adding very heavy emphasis to the last word even through his panting. It sent a thrill all through my body to hear him say it.

"Sooo good," I confirmed. "Don't you fucking dare stop."

He barked a sharp laugh, as though I'd just told a surprisingly funny joke. Catching me off-guard he kissed me hard, like he was trying to push my head through the mattress just with his mouth. I didn't know where he got the oxygen to pull it off, but I hadn't been breathing as hard and no problem kissing him back just as passionately.

Just before he pulled away again I felt what I was sure was the start of his orgasm. It didn't even occur to me to be annoyed that he hadn't warned me, pointless as it would have been either way. I just let it wash over me along with everything else; my brother kissing me, my brother fucking me, my brother cumming in me, and embraced the feelings of decidedly impure bliss that threatened to overwhelm me.

I tried to tell him I was cumming too, let him know not to stop yet, though I wasn't certain my words came out right. Even if they didn't Jack did an admirable job in continuing to fuck me until the very end, only finally rolling off me gasping for air as I finished. He got serious bonus points for that.

For several minutes I did little more than lie there on my back, occasionally looking over at Jack as we both recovered. As I came down from my high the complete trust I'd had in him moments ago dissipated somewhat, but I found I didn't care if he made some smart-ass remark now. It didn't seem all that important. And if he was feeling at all like I was he wasn't going to say anything too stupid anyway.

Eventually I shifted and rolled partway over to lay my head on his shoulder. I wanted to say something, but nothing really seemed like the right thing to say. It wasn't like my first time with any other guy since I already knew Jack a lot better than any of them. Plus our relationship was nowhere near normal and there really wasn't any need for anything terribly romantic.

"You know, losing my girlfriend isn't looking so bad anymore," Jack said.

"Really? And why's that?"

That was about the best I could have hoped for out of my brother, but that didn't stop me fishing for more. He knew that was exactly what I was doing too.

"Because I just remembered I owed her five dollars and I probably won't have to pay her back now."

"Jerk," I said, punching him just hard enough that he felt it. "You could have just said 'cause you found someone better or something. It didn't have to be the world's best compliment."

"Yeah, but what fun would that be?"

I didn't have the energy to do a proper job threatening him, plus since I was mostly naked he'd just enjoy it anyway. Luckily he wasn't looking energetic enough to fight back all that much either. I poked a finger hard against his chest.

"Come on, one nice thing. It won't kill you."

"Okay, I'd rather be here with you right now than with her. Is that good enough?"

"Mm-hm, that works."

I kissed him softly, then settled down next to him again. For all I knew by tomorrow he'd be driving me crazy again like normal, but for now I'd take what I could get.