Mr. Lewis

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"I'll tell you what, I can strap it to the bed of my truck and I'll follow you wherever you need to go. I'll be off in an hour."

I didn't want to lose sight of Mr. Lewis for an entire hour, especially since I had been without him for months; but I put on a smile, paid for the tree, and went on my way. I ventured to Walmart to collect supplies for tree trimming and practically ran out of the store when I was finished. I couldn't make it back to Owen's fast enough. My Mr. Tall, Not-So-Dark, and Handsome was waiting for me; most likely not in the sense that I was eager to see him, but he was waiting for me just the same.

"Alright, Miss Matthews-uh, Danica," Mr. Lewis corrected when I gave him the stink eye, "we're all set."

"Cool," I said, trying to sound like I wasn't just pining after him while he tied the tree to his truck. We arrived to my house and I hurried in my pursuit to open doors and instruct him on where to put the tree. He set the stand up, filled it with water, and erected the glittery masterpiece. I grinned widely. "It's perfect."

"I'm glad you like it. I think it's going to be a good surprise for Cori and, uh...Dustin."

"Me too."

We stood in an uneasy silence. I didn't want him to leave just yet, but I couldn't ask him to stay when he looked so out of sorts. I had no clue what was bothering him. That was one of the things that drew me to Mr. Lewis, I could rarely tell what was going on in his head. He was almost an enigma and he intrigued me to no end.

"Did you want anything to drink or something to eat?" I asked, not knowing what else to say.

"No, thank you. I'm fine."

I nodded while moving to find the tree skirt in one of the Walmart bags that polluted the living room. "Shit!" I clamored while stumbling over one of the gifts my mother left sprawled on the floor.

"Danica, are you okay?" Mr. Lewis asked while catching me.

"I'm good. I just didn't have a place to put the gifts so they're all over the damn floor. And I gotta get all of them under the tree, plus decorate the entire house before Cori gets off at six," I said, looking at the floor, noticing that he still held me in his arms. I breathed in his heavenly scent, hoping that I could bask in it for a little while longer.

"I could help you, if you like. I don't have anything to do," he offered while righting me. I felt bereft as his arms fell from my waist.

"If it's not too much trouble. You'd be saving my life," I sighed, "apart from just now when I was nearly taken out by the collection of Walmart bags and gifts."

After some deliberation, we decided to start on the outside of the house first, which was to be the hardest part. The roof was odd and slanted at differing angles, which I was sure gave Mr. Lewis a hard time while he tried to hang all of the red lights I purchased. I hung an oversized wreath on the door and placed a holiday welcome mat in my attempt to not gawk for so long. Mr. Lewis looked some type of manly on the roof, and it was making my flesh tingle with heat.

The next item of business was the inside of the house, which was easier than the roof, but more time consuming. "Do lights have to go on every banister?" he asked, looking around the house at all of the railings and balconies that still needed to be decorated.

"Yes! It's my first time playing hostess, I want it to be perfect," I said, grabbing a set of lights from him and smirking before moving across the foyer toward the sweeping staircase. He chuckled and fell in line behind me. Within the next hour, I was pushing Mr. Lewis toward the foyer to admire our handiwork.

"I have a question about the mistletoe," he said, pointing toward the fireplace mantle. My heart began to race. "Are you planning on kissing Cori? Or maybe Dustin?"

I laughed, it was a nervous, throaty sound that I hoped he wouldn't notice. "No. It's just one of those holiday must-haves, you know? Just like candy canes and stuff like that."

He nodded while taking his hands out of his pockets. "Well, I guess I better get outta here. Cori is due up any minute. I don't want to ruin your surprise."

What? No. This wasn't it; this couldn't be it. "Why don't you come by on Christmas?" I blurted without thinking. "If you don't have anything to do, that is. You can see how the tree turns out after me and Cori get done with it."

His eyes seemed to lighten. "Now that's something I have to see. I was going to watch The Grinch and eat a TV dinner, but your proposal sounds so much better," he smirked while putting on his coat. "I won't be interrupting anything will I?"

"No," I answered too eagerly, so I tried to play it off. "It's just going to be me, Cori, and Dustin, remember?"

"There's that name again," he frowned and shook his head. "I'll be here," he said before opening the front door. With one last look at me, he departed.

*

"What does that even mean? 'There's that name again'," I complained while I tossing a slice of pizza back into the Papa John's box. As soon as Cori arrived to the house and finished her squealing and clapping over the decorations, I went over every detail of my night with Mr. Lewis and hoped that she could decode his actions.

"He's jealous, Dani, duh. He doesn't want Dustin over here stealing your attention."

"Psh, yeah right. Mr. Lewis isn't thinking about Dustin like that; or me, for that matter. He's probably just mad that Dustin is going to be here because of their relationship before I moved. Dustin never stopped talking in his class and it pissed him off."

"Right. That, and he wants you; but Dustin is a more suitable match. He's your age and not your ex teacher."

That burned, but she was right. If I were attracted to Dustin in any other way besides friendship, he would be a good match for me. "I like older guys."

Cori turned to look at me. "You know I support you in everything, Dani; and I'm glad you finally came out and admitted your feelings for Mr. Lewis, but I just don't want you to get your hopes up. It'd crush me if you got hurt."

"I know," I sighed. "I don't really have my hopes up. I just can't help being attracted to him. He's gorgeous, smart, witty-,"

"And he hangs lights very well," Cori laughed.

"He does," I laughed with her. "God. Why did this have to happen to me? Why did I have to fall for the unattainable guy?"

"Most girls do, Dani; it's just different because this guy was your teacher."

"Sure, sure."

"Dani, I have to ask... I hope it doesn't bring back bad memories or make you mad, but I have to know. Did you have sex with Mr. Lewis?" Her face and shoulders were scrunched up as she prepared for my response.

"No!"

"Not even a kiss?"

"No. I told you, he's not into me like that," I sighed.

"How do you know that?"

"Because he hasn't said anything. He hasn't made any type of move," I shrugged.

"And you want him to?"

"What girl doesn't want her crush to respond in some way to her? It's a two-edged sword, though. If he does respond to me, my parents could find out and all hell would break loose; but, if he doesn't respond to me, I'd be hurt, of course."

"Sorry, Dani. I just couldn't even imagine. I mean, if I want a guy, it's never this complicated."

I groaned and rolled over to my back. "I'm sure it's not."

"Time for bed," she said, hopping off of the floor. "No time for sappy stories when we have gifts to buy."

"I don't see why we have to be up before ten," I groaned. "It is holiday break."

"Well, I haven't gotten a gift for your B-F-F, Dustin, and I didn't get Mr. Lewis anything. Plus, all of these stockings need something to go into them. Good thing you went overboard and bought eight million of them, now everyone in town can have one," she laughed while I chucked a pillow in her direction. "But no, really. All of this is great, Dani. You didn't have to do all of this."

I told Cori, again, that I wanted to decorate the house for her, and that I enjoyed doing it. To be honest, I'd do it all over again to see her face light up like it did when she walked through the door that night. Cori's mom wasn't big on decorating and doing traditional family activities, but then again, my family had been lacking in that area for some time now, too. Ever since my parents became big wigs at the office and hospital, their focus shifted to money and power rather than family. While that bothered me in the past, this year I was beyond grateful. Even though I talked to my parents a little over the phone when I arrived home, I still wasn't ready to face them; the fight we had when I left was too fresh in my memory and their absence awarded me the opportunity to become comfortable in the house before they were added into the mix. Then there was the fact that I could spend more time with Mr. Lewis, the primary reason for my return to Bloomington.

The snow, holiday music, decorations, and all of that were nice, but I couldn't fool myself anymore. I jumped at the opportunity to come back into town to see the reason I was sent away. I wanted Mr. Lewis to be doing well and carrying on with his life as if the rumors didn't exist, but I also came back to see if the feelings I had for him were real, or if they were just a silly high school crush. I wanted to see if, maybe, he returned those feelings. I knew it was a long shot, but I had to know.

That night I dreamt of him and I together in the snow, playing, cuddling....it was a dream that I didn't want to end, but the blaring of my alarm clock had other plans. I didn't want to get up, but the knowledge that I would see Mr. Lewis again the next day had me swinging my legs over the side of the bed with a new type of spunk.

"What the fuck is Mr. Lewis gonna want with a wind-up flashlight?" Cori asked later that afternoon as we wrapped gifts and stuffed others into stockings.

We spent most of the day shopping for last minute gifts to give Mr. Lewis and Dustin, but that quickly escalated into us buying new outfits for dinner as well as purchasing a bunch of other items that we had no need for. TJ Maxx has been known to work its magic on me in that way.

"Like Dustin is gonna need a compact mirror," I retorted, holding up the brown case that was to be placed in Dustin's stocking.

"Have you seen his hair? He needs a mirror."

"Maybe his hair is messy from all of the chicks that grab and pull at it now. He has to be gettin' tons of chicks after losing that weight and getting into shape."

"I guess," Cori said, not looking too convinced. "I haven't seen him since first semester anyway, and looks aren't everything. No one loses as much weight as he did in three months. The kid had gastric bypass."

"Whatever, Cori. Who cares if he did or not? He's healthy and in shape now. Just wait until you see him."

I was starting early on my awkwardness diffusion. As soon as Dustin and I became good friends, Cori was on a warpath, Dustin's face being the target. It was juvenile in a way, but with Cori's background, I could see why she would be worried about me liking him better. Any man her mother liked more than her-which was every one of them-earned Cori a seat on the backburner. It was sad, but that's what happened when young kids were trying to raise kids; Cori's mom was fourteen when she had her.

"Maybe we should save some of this stuff to do for tomorrow. I'm gonna be on pins and needles all day; I'll need something to keep my hands busy."

"Cooking will keep your hands busy, as will folding those expensive ass linens you bought to be used as napkins; let's not forget all of the cutlery and plates and shit that you'll have to lay out in an orderly, country club fashion," she teased, gently knocking my shoulder with her own.

"Forget you, bitch," I laughed just as there was a knock on the door. Neither Cori nor I were expecting a guest, so I proceeded with caution. The last couple of days went by smoothly; I hadn't seen anyone from my old school, I hadn't heard anyone gossiping while I was shopping; I was starting to believe that the worst was over, that maybe I could have my old life back...that was until I answered the door to find my neighbor, Mrs. Norris, on the other side. Not much had changed about her; she still was impossibly fake with her spray on tan, overly done makeup, and creepy stiletto nails. Her presence at my front door meant either she was looking to start gossiping, or she was searching for something to gossip about.

"Hey, Mrs. Norris. What can I do for you today?"

"Oh, I just wanted to drop off these cookies for you and Cori!" she said in her thick, southern drawl, putting on that would-be smile; her Botox injections made it nearly impossible to pull her lips upward. "I saw you working on the house yesterday; it looks so nice! I thought I'd bring you a welcome home gift," she handed me a plate covered with holiday themed tin foil.

All her words summed up to one thing: she saw Mr. Lewis and wanted to make it known. She had to have known that my departure from town was due to my supposed relationship with him; the supposed relationship whose rumors originated from her daughter's mouth, no doubt. Beth-Ann Norris was one of the most gossipy girls at my old high school-every rumor about anyone in the halls of BHS could be traced back to her, and she reveled in it; she lived for the drama and attention.

The apple never falls far from the tree. "Well thank you, I appreciate the thought. I'll let my parents know that you stopped by," I said, moving to close the door.

"You'll call them, you mean? I know they went to Barbados for the holidays; they came over and asked if I'd watch the house while they were away. You know thievery is high for this time of year. Can't be too careful."

Anger gurgled inside of me as I sucked my lips in. I let out a steadying breath before addressing her. "They did, did they? Well, yes. I'll call them. Happy holidays," I said before closing the door with a little more force than necessary.

"What did she want? I was trying to listen but I couldn't hear much," Cori said, scooping her hair into a ponytail as she reached the foyer.

"She wanted to warn me that she saw Mr. Lewis here yesterday and that if she saw him again, she'd tell my parents. They have her watching the house."

Cori gasped. "She said that?"

"Not outright, but if you live around people like her long enough, you start to read between the lines of bullshit they spew."

"Do you think we should tell Mr. Lewis to stay away?"

"No. I'm not going to revoke his invitation just because some nosy ass woman can't mind her own business."

"If she would stay in her own household, she'd see that her daughter is fucking ninety percent of the football team. Dirty ass bitch."

If I weren't scared out of my mind, I would've laughed at that. My hands shook in the wake of my fear. I couldn't have my parents hearing about Mr. Lewis being in their house, no matter how old I was, or the status of my relationship with Mr. Lewis; but, I had to have more time with him before I went back to California. I was being extremely selfish, and I knew it, but I had to explore my feelings for him in a setting where he was actually present. I needed clarity in this area of my life before I could move on.

*

Smells of honeyed ham, turkey, stuffing, and other homey smells filled the house as Cori and I played homemakers. To be honest, it was fun, apart from the time I spent looking out of the window, trying to catch Mr. Lewis before Mrs. Norris could poke her bleach-blonde head through her curtains and see him. I hated feeling like I was being watched on Christmas; the holiday was supposed to be a relaxed and joyful time, not a day of paranoia and nervousness.

"You should talk to your parents about getting a fence put up," Cori said, noticing my preoccupation.

"Why should they have to put up a fence just because of the people next door? That's stupid. Some people just need to mind their own business."

"And some people never will. Look, don't worry about them over there. You put so much work into this day, I don't want it to be ruined because of some nosy ass tramp. Go get dolled up and relax. It'll be fine," she said, pushing me in the direction of my bathroom.

The bath I took didn't help; if anything, sitting in the water made me more anxious. I had too much time to think about what this day meant for me; so much, arguably too much, hung in the balance of this Christmas: my relationship status, my emotional stability if Mr. Lewis didn't return my feelings, my parents' trust if they ever found out that Mr. Lewis was in their house.

I snorted. They obviously didn't trust me too much if they had Old Creepy Nails watching me from next door.

Secrecy was of the utmost importance for this particular day, and maybe every day that I remained in Bloomington- depending on how this dinner gathering panned out. I knew Cori wouldn't say anything; she was in my corner, but I had yet to explain to Dustin my real feelings for Mr. Lewis. I wasn't sure that I ever would. All he knew was that Mr. Lewis was coming over for dinner and that it was probably best to not mention it to anyone with all of the past issues surrounding us. He consented to secrecy, and that would do for the time being.

I ambled to the living room where I aimlessly flipped through channel after channel on the television, trying to find something to take my mind off of the day and the stress surrounding it. "Why does every fucking channel have to play The Christmas Story?" I tossed the remote onto the cushion beside me, huffing in frustration.

"Well, it is Christmas," Cori laughed lightly as a knock sounded throughout the house. My head shot up and my eyes met Cori's. "Nervous much?" she grinned while stirring the contents of a pot.

"It was just unexpected," I told her, rushing to answer the door. The doorbell sounded and I was sure that I was going to throw up. My heart hammered in my chest as I took a breath and smoothed out the skirt of my dress. I opened the door and my heart sank a little. "Hey, Dustin," I said, trying to sound like I wasn't disappointed.

"Wow, you went all out!" he said, stepping into the foyer. "It's so good to finally see you. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you, too. What's this?" I asked, reaching for the box that he held out toward me.

"I got you something. I got Cori something too, though she probably won't like me any better because of it."

"Oh, come on. Cori likes you. She's just protective of me, you know. She wants to be my only friend," I forced a chuckle while leading him upstairs to the kitchen.

"Merry Christmas, Cori," Dustin said, sounding as shy as he looked.

"Damn. What happened to you? Did you stop eating?" Cori asked, her eyes wide with amazement.

"I stopped eating everything that could kill me," he laughed. "I got you something," he said, holding out a box for her.

"How thoughtful," she said, shaking it. "Paint brushes," she grinned.

Dustin frowned. "How'd you do that?"

"Years of practice, but I'll put it under the tree if it makes you feel better," she smiled before leaving the room.

"See," I said when she was out of earshot, "she doesn't hate you."

Dustin shrugged and smiled.

Cori and Dustin kept me busy for hours while we played board games, watched movies, and talked; but I was almost always glancing at the clock, trying to figure out when Mr. Lewis was going to come.

"He'll be here, Dani. Just relax," Cori told me after Dustin went to the bathroom, taking advantage of his absence.

"I never told him what time to come. What if he thought that was me not really wanting him to come? What if he didn't want to come? Maybe he's afraid my parents will show up," I rambled on like an idiot until Cori finally stopped me.

"Dani, seriously. Calm down. It'll be fine. It's probably better that he doesn't come right away. If he comes during dinner time, old nosy will be so busy eating her croutons and green beans that she won't notice his arrival."