My Affair With Jim - 1980

This writing describes an experience in the sexual odyssey of Dan and Kaye over an eight-year period in their marriage. During this collaborative effort, every attempt was been made to ensure an accurate representation of events based on mutual recollections.

My Affair with Jim – 1980

After several years of my husband and me living an open lifestyle, I have come to realize that twice during that time I was compulsively addicted to sex with a man. What I mean by this is an overwhelming urge to give myself fully to a man other than my husband regardless of the consequences.

Looking back at this time, I realized that both men were very different with the exception of having great equipment. I know that size is not the only component of enjoyable sex but when combined with an erotic approach and experienced technique, it can greatly intensify both the physical and mental aspects of the act. In my case, it was not love but pure lustful urges that I felt for these men and was much stronger than that which I have felt for others including the love of my life, my husband.

I was 25 when things started to get crazy in my life. Dan, my husband, and I had had some strange sexual experiences that year, one that was so strange I really cannot explain it to this day.

During this time, I was working at a job I hated and for which I was not qualified. Dan had quit his job and was supposed to be going to school but seemed to want to party like a college kid even though we had a 3 1/2 year old at home. In short, I was under a great deal of stress and was disappointed in my husband. I resented that he seemed to have other priorities than getting through school and getting a job. I thought he was taking me for granted and only seemed to take an interest in me when he wanted sex.

I realized that I could not continue this way and decided to take steps to improve my situation. I separated from Dan telling him I did not want to see him again until he became serious about his life and his family. When we separated, he left the apartment and went to live with his parents. This was a very difficult time for me in that I knew I could not control what he would do but did not want to divorce him unless I had to. I was feeling like a failure in most aspects of my life and was very low on self-esteem at this time.

I had been riding to work with Jim who was my manager and a very nice man (or so I thought). He was easy to talk to and had a great sense of humor. He would go out of his way to make me laugh which I needed at the time. Jim was 40, was on his second marriage, and knew something about dealing with martial problems, which he offered when we talked. In fact, during one of our rides to work, he shared with me that while he loved his wife; things were not exactly perfect in his marriage either.

I was comfortable talking with him in that he never mentioned anything about sex at this time. Occasionally we would stop for drinks on the way home with a group of people from work. I would call my sister, have her pick up my daughter from day care, and watch her until I got there. She was supportive and offered to help me anytime I needed her. I think she was concerned about me and wanted me to have some fun. One Friday several of us decided to stop at a bar after work. We drank and talked for a few hours and then Jim and I left to go home. While I did not share this with anyone, I was depressed that night and drank more than I should have.

Once in the car, Jim told me that he was fond of me, found me very desirable, and wanted me. He confessed that he had felt that way since we started riding together but was afraid to say anything to me. Then to my surprise, he reached over and kissed me. For a few seconds I did not respond, but it felt so good that I eventually started kissing him back. There we were, making out in the parking lot like a couple of high school kids. Thank heavens it was dark and I do not believe anyone saw us.

As our kissing became more passionate, Jim moved his hand to my chest and started caressing one of my breasts through my blouse. I broke our embrace and told him that we were both married and this was not right. That I did not need any more complications in my life and that we should stop now and go home.

Then a strange thing happened. He started to become demanding. He placed his hand under my chin and turned my head so that I was facing him, looked me directly in the eyes, and told me that he knew I needed him as much as he wanted me (I didn't believe this was true but it shocked me to hear him say it). He started kissing me again, this time slipping his tongue into my mouth.

I must have found his change in attitude exciting because I allowed him to continue without saying anything and started to respond a little to him. While this was happening, he managed to unbutton the top buttons on my blouse and get his hand inside my bra and on my right breast. Feeling his rough fingers moving across my nipple and his hand cupping my breast got me really excited and escalated events.

It was not long before his hand was under my skirt and resting on my knee and started moving up my leg. At first, I moved my hand down to his trying to keep him from going further but his advances became increasingly forceful. Although I continued to push it away, it wasn't long before his hand had reached my thighs and higher.

As Jim's hand massaged my most intimate area, I felt my excitement build and realized that I was becoming increasingly wet. I responded by separating my legs allowing him unfettered access as he began to massage my clitoris through my pantyhose. As our kissing became more passionate, I moved my hand up his leg to his crotch and began massaging his erection through his pants.

To this day, I don't know why I didn't stop things immediately but I was genuinely enjoying feeling desirable to a man. The combination of the alcohol and not having sex for several months had a strong effect on my libido and I began to respond enthusiastically to his advances. To be honest a big part of my response was that his demanding approach really appealed to my submissive tendencies.

Jim continued fondling me for several minutes before he broke our embrace, took me to a cheap motel down the street from the bar, and got us a room. I asked him about his wife and he said that she was out with her girlfriends that night and would not be home until late.

Once in the room, Jim sat in a chair and told me to undress and my hands were shaking as I complied and started slowly removing my clothes. It all seemed so surreal. Here I was undressing in a hotel room with a man other than my husband and it was obvious where this was heading. What in the hell was I doing here? How had things gotten so far out of control?

In a futile attempt to gain some control over the situation, I stopped after having removed everything but my bra and panties. When Jim instructed me to continue I decided not to think about what was happening but simply do as I was told. I felt numb as I slowly unhooked my bra and let it fall from my shoulders and arms then slid my panties down my hips and legs stepping out of them.

Jim got up and walked over to me with a wicked smile on his face and a look of lust in his eyes. There I stood, nude and staring straight ahead as if transfixed as he slowly walked around me getting a good look. He began stroking me with his fingers and commented that I must be enjoying this as my nipples were hard and my chest was flushed and bright red. When he was behind me, he placed both his hands on my lower back and roughly ran them down my ass. I closed my eyes and tried to control my growing arousal as his hands cupped then squeezed my cheeks and his fingertips dug into sensitive areas between my legs.

Jim moved around in front of me and looked me in the eyes as he began played with my breasts before lowering his head and started lightly biting and sucking on my nipples and licking around my areolas. It felt so good that my juices really began to flow and I actually had to fight the urge to grab his head and pull it into my chest. He then moved his hand between my legs and forced my thighs apart enough to enter me with his fingers and seemed pleased that I was wet. His touch was really turning me on and it was hard for me to continue standing.

Jim had me lay on the bed as he removed his clothes then got into the bed next to me. As he walked toward me, I got my first look at his exposed member. It was impressive; longer than most I have seen with a shaft that bent upwards and slightly to the right when erect. As I ran my hand down his cock, I was shocked that it continued to grow in thickness until; about half way to its base, I could no longer wrap my fingers around it.

Given the number of men I have experienced as of this writing, I have never seen a cock quite like Jim's. I was both curious and a little concerned about how it would fit in me. As we kissed each other passionately, I reached down and began stroking his manhood. He felt very hot in my hand and I could feel his member becoming even harder while he continued to manipulate me with his fingers. As he did so, he kept adding fingers until he had three moving in me while I shoved my tongue in his mouth and moved my hips in pleasure.

Suddenly his cock erupted shooting his load all over my thigh and the bed. Although I was disappointed and wanted sex at this point, I reassured him by passionately kissing him and stroking his genitals. He pulled away and moved his head down between my legs and began licking and sucking my vaginal lips and clitoris making me insane with passion. I was about to have my second orgasm when he moved on top of me.

I eagerly spread my legs for him but instead of entering me, he grabbed my ankles and pulled my legs even further apart. I can still remember the look on his face when he smiled and looked down at me for what seemed like forever. It was as if he was in no hurry and wanted to enjoy the moment. I had reached a high state of excitement and told him I wanted him in me.

I remember he kept asking me what I wanted saying, "Tell me you want me to fuck you" all the while continuing to rub the head of his cock up and down my slit occasionally hitting my clitoris.

I tried to move my hips down to get him inside me all the time pleading with him to stop teasing me and give it in me!

After I began screaming at him, "FUCK ME NOW!" and he directed his manhood at my opening and, in one swift movement, pushed deep inside me.

Jim's cock was so thick I thought it would split me in half and it reached places deep within me that had never been touched before. He was not at all gentle in his thrusts and literally 'banged' me while I did what I could to keep pace with him. Occasionally he would reach down and rub my clitoris with his thumb sending me over the top.

I began moaning loudly, lifted my head, and started kissing him passionately as our tongues explored each other's mouth. All the while my hips were raising to meet his thrusts and I began experiencing waves of orgasms ending with what felt like a strong contraction starting in my upper pelvic area and moving down to my pussy drenching both of us and the bed with my juices. I had never experienced a climax so intense and I almost passed out from sheer pleasure. Note to the reader: Years later I learned that this was how I responded to simultaneous stimulation of my clitoris and G-spot.

I had just begun recovering when I looked Jim intensely in the eyes, and began telling him how wonderful he felt in me, and that no one had ever filled me so completely (I'm sure my language was much more graphic given the circumstances). I reached down, grabbed his hips pulling him toward me, and said that I wanted to feel him cum in me.

This must have sent Jim over the edge as he groaned and pushed deeply into me and I felt the warm sensation of him filling me. When he finished he pulled out, smiled down at me, and rubbed the wet head of his cock through my already damp and matted pubic hair. Then he slapped me on my ass and told me retrieve a wet washcloth from the bathroom.

Although I was still recovering from the fucking I had just received and did not want to move, he was persistent and I finally got up did as he asked. When I was in bathroom, I grabbed a hand towel and put it between my legs to catch the fluid running out of me then dampened a washcloth as instructed. When I returned to the bed, Jim told me to clean him off and I complied by washing off his genitals and pubic hair as best I could.

After I finished cleaning him, he got up and put his clothes on instructing me to get dressed. After I was dressed, he took me home. I thought that maybe he was feeling as guilty as I was about what had happened since we did not say anything during the drive home. After I got home that night, I remember feeling strange thinking about what had happened. I really did not know how to feel about it. Even though I had some feelings of remorse, they were mixed with feeling very alive, satisfied and more than a little wanton.

On our way to work the next Monday, he told me he wanted to have a long lunch with me that afternoon. After that, we met during lunch or after work a couple times a week for the next six weeks at a single friend of Jim's apartment who lived only minutes from our work. I had incredible orgasms each time we were together and I wanted to give him anything he wanted whenever he wanted it.

Each or our sessions began with him orally bringing me to a heightened state of excitement. Then I would stroke and suck his cock until he came continuing until he was hard again. While I enjoyed having his mouth and tongue pleasing me, I became especially addicted to the multiple orgasms and incredible climaxes I experienced every time he gave me his uniquely proportioned manhood. When we were together I wanted it to go on forever, and when we were not, I found myself obsessed with lustful thoughts of our next time.

During one of our sessions, he told me to get ready for him by playing with myself and, as always, I complied to his request while he watched. I had never masturbated in front of anyone before (not even my husband) and this must have turned him on because he did not allow me to continue for long before he was between my legs thrusting away.

Another time we were together, when we arrived at the apartment I noticed that Jim had brought his Polaroid camera. A chill went down my spine and I immediately told him that he was not taking any pictures of me. He just smiled and told me not to worry about it and to get undressed. We followed our usual pattern of fondling and pleasing each other orally leading to another glorious session of sex. During that session, after we had been going at it for a while, Jim told me that I would pose for him if I wanted him to continue. As he did this, he occasionally stopped thrusting in me for seconds at a time almost completely pulling out of me. Having lost all control by that point I looked into his eyes and pleaded with him not to stop and moved my hands to his hips and pulled trying to getting him to resume.

Jim persisted with his demand and tortuous teasing until, out of sheer frustration, I agreed to do as he asked after which he resumed his pace eventually bringing me to another shattering climax. He then directed me in posing for a series of very revealing pictures without providing me the benefit of cleaning up a little and was very pleased with one close-up of my pussy with his seamen visible. I was uncomfortable with him doing this but he assured me no one else would see them as he had as much to lose as I if they got around.

Once Jim told me that, he knew that I liked him taking control and he was right! I knew what we were doing was wrong but at the same time, he made me feel desirable, something I had not felt for a long time, and I looked forward to my time with him. He told me that he and his wife were not having sex on a regular basis. She had lost interest and he was not about to beg her for sex. I remember thinking that it must be true because by that time he did not need to lie to get what he wanted; and we both knew it. On a more practical level, Jim did take a lot of job pressure off me by giving me different assignments and helping me with them. About six weeks after everything started with Jim, Dan and I reconciled. He had left school and found a job and while it was not a great job and required a lot of travel, it was a job and I was relieved that he was working again. I ended my affair with Jim the last time we were together and we had a final sexual session. We agreed that there would be no hard feelings and that we would keep it a secret between us as we both had a lot to lose if word got out.

At the time, Jim had been suggesting that we include a male friend of his in one of our sessions (the guy whose apartment we used) and I got the impression that he had shown him the pictures of me and discussed having a threesome. If we had continued, I would have gone along with it as I had already experienced a threesome with two men and enjoyed it very much. Besides that, I had become accustomed to doing anything Jim demanded of me and although it meant giving myself sexually to a compete stranger, to this day I am sure I would have complied.

As you might imagine, things were not the same at work. He did not treat me badly but it was uncomfortable for both of us and I was concerned about my strong desire for him getting the better of me. Within a month, I had found another job doing something that I liked and was more in line with my experience.

While I felt guilty about my affair, I kept it secret for many years. I finally confessed what had happened to my husband five years later. We were living in another town and Jim had been out of my life for a long time. He had a typical 'Dan reaction', it turned him on, and he asked for details. You can guess what happened next. What I did not tell him at the time was that for a period of time I was seemingly addicted to sex with Jim and still had some of those feelings.

Kaye