My Best Friend's Dildo

Sidled up alongside the Galaxy Fleet hospital ship "Mercy", the scout ship "Gazelle" was a mere speck--a hundred-meter arrowhead docked to a bulbous cylinder ten times longer and displacing a hundred times more mass.

Of course, the single pilot of the "Gazelle"--30-year old Galaxy Scout Galina Barding--was used to the gigantic ego of the Galaxy Fleet. All spit-and-polish, the Galaxy Fleet was responsible for defense of the Galactic Empire, while Galina's agency--the Galaxy Scout Service--was responsible for exploration, map-making, safety inspections and delivering the mail; in short, the Galaxy Fleet polished a lot of medals, while the Scout Service did all the work.

"Damn goldbricks," Galina muttered, standing in the airlock; "why can't they ferry their own personnel?"

"Actually," said Holly--the ship's computer--"the Scout Service charter does include shuttling personnel for the Galaxy Fleet."

"Yeah," Galina whined, "but now I have to wear an actual uniform!"

Galina knew she was being disingenuous; an athletic blonde, she knew she looked pretty good in her dress uniform--a blue tunic with red trim, and a short blue skirt that showed off her bare legs to good effect. Black pumps with sensible heels were supposed to compliment the tunic and skirt, but Galina (who couldn't find her dress shoes) opted for her "fuck me" shoes instead, black ankle-strapped sandals with 10 cm spike heels.

"Captain Barding," Holly said, "the airlock is cycling."

Galina came to attention, as well as she could.

A second later, the double doors of the airlock slid open, revealing a short, cute, redheaded woman in a green Galaxy Fleet uniform.

"Lyza?"

"Galina?"

"Galina, it is you!" the officer said gleefully, clattering across the deck plates on her black pumps and embracing the scout; "I thought I'd have to spend the whole trip with some scummy hypermeth junkie!"

"Well, thank you," Galina said, wryly. "You know, not ALL scouts are junkies and sex maniacs."

"Well, you are...a sex maniac at least."

Galina shrugged. In fact, it was both pleasant and startling to see Lt. Cmdr. Lyza Ellazar--a childhood friend from the planet Krakatoa. Perky and cute, Lyza was technically a baroness--she had ridden family connections all the way through medical school and the Galaxy Fleet Academy--but she was still a sweet and kindhearted person, surely a useful trait for a trauma surgeon.

"So you're my passenger," Galina said. "Orders?"

"Oh, here," Lyza said, lifting a palmpad computer. "You're supposed to deliver me to Easter Colony."

Galina nodded, looking at the orders. Easter Colony happened to be in the direction she was going anyway, about six hyperjumps, or two months away; still, she couldn't resist a jab at her old friend's expense.

"Why do you have to go to Easter? The governor get a hangnail?"

"Actually, no; I'm delivering plague serum..."

"Oh."

"...and a dildo."

A few minutes later, a boatswain brought Lyza's baggage aboard the "Gazelle", but Galina would not have time to learn about Lyza's special "cargo" until a few hours later--after she had maneuvered her ship to safe hyperjump distance from the nearest planet. A few minutes later, "Gazelle" was in hyperspace, and there was nothing for Galina to do after that but wait for the ship to fall out of hyperspace 10 days later.

"So what's this about a dildo?" Galina asked, sitting down with Lyza at the circular galley table.

"I'll show you," Lyza said, retrieving a meter-long bag from her personal effects. Inside, securely wrapped in clear plastic, was the most peculiar thing Galina had ever seen--a wicked black double-dildo with a spiked ball in the center.

"What the hell is that thing?"

"It's a dildo," Lyza said, balancing the 40 cm-long artifact in her hands.

"Thanks. And you're carrying it...why?"

"Actually, I'm taking it to Dr. Osterreich at the Planetary Science Museum. Our people dug it up on Cth'therion VII."

"Isn't that a Progenitor site?"

Lyza nodded, and Galina frowned. Legend had it that the Progenitors had ruled the galaxy more than 50,000 years ago, but they had left little behind except high-technology ruins. Some evidence suggested the Progenitors had captured primitive humans from Terra to use as slaves or experimental subjects, and Galina felt a creepy sense of evil around their artifacts.

"Did the Progenitors have vaginas?"

"Hell if I know. It is pretty, though, isn't it?"

Galina wasn't sure why, but some compulsion finally made her reach across the table to Lyza and touch one of the two shafts. Amazingly, the solid dildo seemed to have a soft skin--like a real man's hard-on--and the surface was covered in sculpted veins. Feeling those, and running her fingers over the bulbous tip, Galina could almost imagine how nice it would feel to have that stuffed up inside herself.

Her reverie was shattered a moment later, however, as both she and Lyza heard a recognizably human voice speaking in their minds.

//Human females...you ARE human, aren't you...?//

"Did you say that?" Galina asked Lyza.

Lyza shook her head.

"Then you must have said it," Galina said, to the dildo.

//Yes. I want you...I want to be inside you...//

"Excuse ME," Galina said--although, for some reason, she could not pull her hand away.

//Aren't you wet for me? Don't you want me inside you...?//

Galina felt insulted at first, but then she realized that--yes--she could feel a tingle down between her legs. With her free hand, she reached down beneath her uniform skirt, touched her pussy through her panties, and realized that she was starting to get wet.

"Lyza...?" Galina said, looking at her friend.

"Oh, man, this is weird..." Lyza said, reaching one of her own hands under the table.

"Did anything like this ever happen--with the dildo--before?"

Touching herself under the table, Lyza took a moment to respond.

"Uh...no, I don't think so. Although, come to think of it, I don't think it was ever handled by women until I got it..."

//I think we should fuck,// the dildo thought. //I think we should fuck RIGHT NOW...//

* * *

Although Galina had fucked a lot of men--and quite a few women--she had never seen her best friend naked. It felt a little funny, then, when she and Lyza--both holding one end of the double-ended dildo, now out of its wrapping--retired to her stateroom, and started removing their clothing. With the dildo lying between them on Galina's bunk, the two women shared nervous glances even as they unbuttoned their tunics and released the clasps on their bras.

"This is crazy," Galina said, even as she let her 38D bra fall away from her breasts; "this dildo is controlling our minds..."

"I'm not sure about that," Lyza replied, letting her own 34C cups fall away from her perky tits; "Galina...you're beautiful!"

"Go on," Galina said, looking away sheepishly.

"No, I'm serious," Lyza said, stepping closer--and surprising Galina by suddenly bending down to kiss, and suck, her left nipple; "I always wished I could have tits like yours."

"Oh, that feels good..." Galina admitted, grasping Lyza's forearms as she switched to her other nipple.

"Lyza, I want to fuck you; I want to fuck you with that dildo."

Hearing her, Lyza lifted up, and Galina suddenly felt a warm, passionate desire for her friend burning in her chest. Impetuously, she rested her hands on Lyza's buttocks and lifted her up on tiptoes in her pumps so she could kiss her friend, full on the mouth.

"Mrmph..." Lyza moaned, sucking at Galina's tongue even as Galina probed back with her own; soon, the women had loosened each other's skirts, and both their skirts fell in twin heaps around their ankles.

"You're so wet," Galina said, finally--breaking for air and feeling her best friend's pussy through her panties.

"So are you," Lyza returned, slipping her hand inside Galina's panties, and easing two fingers into her creamy hole. "Why didn't we do this before?"

"Cause it's weird," Galina volunteered.

"There's nothing weird about this," Lyza returned, dropping to her knees before Galina and pulling down Galina's panties so she could push her face into the scout pilot's crotch. Galina reacted with a startled gasp--Lyza was actually eating her pussy, sucking her labia and clitoris, and lapping at her juices even as they spilled down her thighs.

"Oh, fuck...!" Galina cried, tottering on her high heels as she felt Lyza continue to suck her pussy. Except for her sandals, Galina was now completely naked, but she didn't feel the slightest bit embarrassed as her friend took her over the edge to a climax.

"Fuck--! Fuck, I'm cumming...!"

Finally--when Galina couldn't take any more--she took a step backward, then grabbed her friend by the arm and threw her onto the bunk.

"I know you're ticklish..." Galina said, bending over Lyza--who was still wearing her pumps--and proceeding to tickle her under her armpits.

"No...!" Lyza giggled, trying to get away. Galina continued her assault, however--tickling her sides--and Lyza curled up on the bunk, trying to protect herself. Switching tactics, then, Galina finally peeled off her friend's panties and slipped off her pumps, and proceeded to tickle the soles of her bare feet.

"No...! Stop it...! Galina...!"

Lyza was silly with her giggling, however, and was positively gasping when Galina--the bigger, stronger partner--finally rolled her over to spread her legs and suck at her quivering pussy.

"Oh, fuck...!" Lyza cried, "fuck, you're making me cum...!!!"

Galina was pleased; already dizzy from the tickling, Lyza positively gushed pussy-juice from her sweet, pink hole--and Galina started stabbing her fingers, four at a time, into the smaller woman's cunt.

"Oh, please...!" Lyza giggled; wrapping her legs around Galina's shoulders; "my poor little pussy...!"

Finally--with Lyza now a shuddering, panting wreck--Galina relented; she was pretty wet now herself, watching the sweet pussy-juice practically gurgling out of her friend's body.

"Now," Galina said, lifting up on her knees before Lyza, and slipping one end of the alien dildo into her own cunt; "it's time to fuck."

Although the double-dildo appeared almost unbendable, Galina discovered otherwise once she had half the wicked black mass in her pussy. Once it was in--18 centimeters of thick, vein-studded cock, deep and snug in her hole--she found she could swing around the free end, hanging loose and heavy between her legs, just like a real man's penis.

Meanwhile, the half she had stuffed up her pussy seemed to fit perfectly--almost seeming to swell inside her to fit the muscular channel of her vagina--and she could feel the spikes of the central ball teasing her clitoris. The amazing thing, though, was that it stayed in place when she took her hands away. It wasn't quite stuck inside her--she found she could slide it out with an effort--but the vein-studded shaft felt so damn nice, she had to shove it all the way back inside herself immediately.

Lyza, for her part, was struck by Galina's resemblance to a shapely and well-hung transexual she had once seen at a dive bar on Galaxybase 10, what with her high heels and big black cock; Lyza, however, refrained from mentioning that since she didn't want Galina to know that she visited those sorts of places.

"How does it feel...?" Lyza asked, staring in awe at the dangling cock.

"Like this..." Galina said, dropping down between Lyza's thighs, and slipping the free tip between the doctor's labia. Lyza gasped--the bulb felt huge in the mouth of her pussy--and she looked up with awe and wonder as Galina slowly split her open inside, easing half of the dildo up to its hilt inside her.

"Oh, it's so hard...!" Lyza cried; "Galina--!"

"You like that, don't you?" Galina said, starting to pump her little friend.

Again, Lyza gasped; looking up at Galina--her blonde hair hanging past her shoulders, and her breasts swaying back and forth even as she fucked her--Lyza felt her cunt muscles contract around the steely-hard invader. The hard bulb--she now realized--was nudging her womb, even as the spiked central ball rubbed and prodded her clitoris.

Galina, meanwhile, couldn't help but feel a delicious pleasure in fucking her friend like a man would. To be sure, Galina enjoyed hetero sex; she'd fucked many hundreds of men in her life, and she loved the feeling of being penetrated. But sometimes when Galina fucked a man--especially when she was on top like this--she liked to imagine that she was the one with the cock, and she was the one who was stabbing her member deep inside her partner instead of vice versa. That fantasy always got Galina off, and she was creaming herself pretty good now, even as she churned the juices in Lyza's pussy. Digging her toes into the bunk, Galina felt like a girl as she felt the soles of her sandals separate from her feet, and her ankle straps tug at her ankles, but she also felt like a stud as she plowed Lyza with the half of the dildo hanging out of her own vagina.

//That's it...// the dildo thought, //...pleasure...//

"All right," Galina grunted--even as her pussy tingled with the dual pleasure of fucking and being fucked--"what do you want from us...?"

//I want you to be happy...cum, both of you...//

Galina grimaced, even as she felt a wave of pleasure washing down her thighs; clearly, the cock was tighter in her pussy than it was in Lyza's--after all, she could hear it starting to slap and slurp in her friend's wet hole--but an artifact like this would have to have a specific function beyond just getting them off.

"Oh, Galina," Lyza said, "don't think about it; just fuck me...!"

"You are kind of cute," Galina admitted, finally bending down to kiss Lyza once again; Lyza reacted by wrapping her legs around Galina's back and fucking her back, hard, crushing the spiked ball into both their clitorises.

Between that--and the crushing closeness of their bodies, breasts pressed against breasts, lips pressed against lips--both women suddenly climaxed with a sudden, ferocious intensity.

"Oh, fuck...!" Galina cried into Lyza's mouth.

"Oh, goddamn it--you're making me cummm...!!!"

And then, suddenly, both of them were acutely aware of a new sensation; wet as they were, both of them felt a sudden extra surge of wetness in their pussies. Pulsing within them, the double-dildo was now pumping jets of warm, creamy liquid deep inside both their bodies.

"What the hell is that--?" Galina managed to gasp.

"I think..." Lyza said, reaching down to feel the gooey liquid oozing from the tightly-stretched mouth of her pussy--then bringing her fingers up for both of them to see, "...it's semen."

Galina was incredulous at first, but the stuff on Lyza's fingers certainly looked like human semen--creamy-white and thick.

"But that dildo has to be at least 50,000 years old..." Lyza said.

"Which means..." Galina speculated, with horror, "ewww...that's 50,000 year-old cum!"

Suddenly, Galina lifted up and pulled back--popping the dildo first out of Lyza's pussy, then pulling it out of her own pussy as well. Like Lyza, Galina realized her thighs were caked with cum--the overflow from the load of spunk oozing out of her pussy--and she looked at her friend with horror and surprise.

"Do you suppose...the sperm is still alive?" Galina asked.

"Oh, gross...!" Lyza said; trying to squeeze the gooey spunk out of her hole.

Indeed, Galina didn't know which was creepier: the thought of 50,000 year-old alien sperm wriggling away inside her, or the thought of 50,000 year-old human sperm--from Stone Age hominids-- wriggling away inside her. Not for the first time, she was glad she had a contraceptive implant!

"You do have protection..." Galina said, watching Lyza try to scoop the cum out of her hole, "don't you?"

"Yeah...but who knows what kind of diseases there might be in that stuff!"

"Ewww, creepy...!" Galina said, now trying--just like Lyza--to squeeze and scoop the stuff out of her own pussy.

The dildo, for its part, was finally silent.

* * *

Even after taking a very long sonic shower--and locking the cum-slick dildo in the ship's psi-shielded safe--Galina didn't feel completely clean. Sleeping in another stateroom, she dreamt of giving birth to a hideous alien thing--pushing a mass of tentacles out of her grossly swollen belly--and woke up from the nightmare with a start. Then, when she went to the head to relieve herself, the urine sampler told her...

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU ARE PREGNANT. PER GSS REG. 1228P, OBTAIN MEDICAL ASSISTANCE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

Galina was aghast, and woke up Lyza immediately. Lyza, who had likewise been sleeping fitfully, then relieved herself and learned--to her horror--that she was also pregnant.

"Fucking, fucking, creepy!" Lyza said; "I've got an alien baby in my stomach!"

"Maybe we should take the day-after pill," Galina suggested.

Calming down, Lyza considered the suggestion.

"I don't think we should," she said, finally.

"Why not? Your religious objections...?"

"Well, I am morally opposed to abortion," Lyza said, "but, no, that's not it. These babies may be the first clue to the genetic makeup of the Progenitors."

"You do have a point. I just hope the old hyperdrive gets us to Easter Colony on schedule. I hear it's a lot harder to get permission to transfer a baby to an artificial womb after the first trimester."

"It's just 10 parsecs; that shouldn't take more than 8 weeks, should it?"

"Yeah, but I've had two hyperjump flutters during the past year, and one of those could send us halfway across the galaxy; I can just imagine us straggling back to port with a couple of newborn babies."

"Is that likely?"

"Just keep your fingers crossed, the next time I engage the hyperdrive."

8 days later, the "Gazelle" fell out of hyperspace and Galina piloted the ship to a nearby gas giant for refueling before re-engaging the hyperdrive again. With Lyza crossing her fingers, arms and legs, the ship then hurtled safely back into hyperspace for the next leg of the journey. Notably, the dildo remained silent, apparently having fulfilled its mission of knocking up the two friends, who refrained from further fucking with the burden of their unplanned pregnancies weighing upon them. Galina, for her part, tried to stay busy maintaining the ship, and sometimes almost forgot what was happening inside her belly, but holographic images of her womb brought the reality back to her; by the time they finally reached Easter Colony (safely, and on time), Galina's 10-week old fetus was clearly discernable as a little girl about an inch long, while Lyza's was a similar little boy--both apparently just as human as their mothers.

At Easter Starport, the two friends (not quite starting to show) delivered Lyza's plague serum, then reported to Dr. Katherine Osterreich at the Planetary Science Museum, and were mildly surprised to find the 47 year-old xenologist hugely swollen with a baby of her own. To be on the safe side, they had requested that male starport personnel bring the dildo to the museum separately.

"That was probably wise," Dr. Osterreich said, resting her hands on her belly; "this baby inside me was fathered by the last dildo we looked at. It got my secretary, Jennifer, pregnant at the same time."

A moment later--as if on cue--Jennifer herself walked by, but the pretty young redhead did not appear obviously pregnant herself.

"She doesn't look pregnant," Galina noted.

"Jennifer opted to have her baby removed, but she agreed to let us grow the fetus in an artificial womb for study. I'm only carrying mine out of scientific curiosity."

Galina sighed with relief; at least the government wouldn't force HER to carry her baby to term.

"Actually," Lyza admittedly, sheepishly, "the same thing happened to us."