My Dark Angel Ch. 04byPrettyrock©
My life hasn't been easy. I've always been afraid. Of everything. Afraid to take a risk. Afraid of relationships and of failure. And God did I fail. I admit it. I didn't fail to save those people. Yet. I remembered my dad told me "real men don't cry". Maybe I'm not a real man after all.
Have you ever felt so empty, so broken that no matter if you want to or not you, you always end up crying? That's what happened in the office. I've always faked happiness, hidden my emotions and the last time I cried I was four. I didn't cry at Ellen's funeral. I didn't cry at my mom's either. That bitch deserved to die.
I didn't even cry when my supposed dad abused me physically and emotionally after he got out of prison or when I found my ex-boyfriend in bed with my best friend. I knew I was a strong person but sometimes being strong wasn't enough. I needed something more, something or should I say someone to wake up with. Someone to grow old with. Someone to love me.
I presumed all those hidden feelings: the hatred, the sadness, the emptiness, the hope and the anger came back to the surface and finally I broke down when I realized I almost killed those I was born to protect. Real men don't cry... What was wrong with crying? We were born to show emotions, right?
I opened my eyes, not bothering to try to figure out where I was. I had an intuition that wherever I was, Death was lurking by. It was ironic that Death would be disguised in the form of a sexy Apollo who was attracted to me as much as I was to him. Would he take me before he slices my throat open? Or would I be kept here as his slave until he bores of me? Or until he finds his mate?
Mother karma, I knew, wouldn't be as devious to make me his mate, would she? Not that I would have minded (I wouldn't have, Gosh the guy was really hot) but will death ever accept to mate life? Would a hybrid ever mate a deity? Would fire ever fall in love with water?
Oh! Gosh! I was such a romantic. And a freak. I was crazy. A sane person would have been trying to figure out where he was and try to get out as soon as possible. Alive. But no I was only thinking about Alex. Oh Alex! Could you ever love me?
Wait, why was I naked??
For the first time of my life I didn't know what to do. He was a deity. My mate was a freaking deity. And I knew for sure he would never accept me as mate. My life was cursed! Cursed, I said! Unbelievable! I had to spend one hundred and thirty years of my life in a world where I was considered a monster.
Everybody feared me. Even my own kin wouldn't want to be in a room with without several witnesses present. And now my mate had to be a freaking deity! The light to my darkness. He feared me! How could he not? I was the only one who could kill him.
And the boy was broken. Broken! Those people of his childhood really did a number on him. How he didn't turn out crazy is still a wonder to me. He was so vulnerable! I wanted to protect him. To love him. But could he ever love me back? Would he ever accept to mate me? A hybrid?
I looked in the security monitor and watched Ethan get off the bed. I smiled ironically. By now I've seen every inches of his hot body. Who did he think undressed him? The guy was hot and muscled which was rather surprising.
I felt my cock stirred in my pants at. Ethan was bent near the bed giving me a perfect view of his naked ass. Fuck! That round perfect ass! I wanted to fuck him so bad? Was he a bottom or a top? Or was he versatile like me? Ha-ha. Who would have imagined that the little "monster" liked cock up his ass too?
Shit! What was he up to now?
Ethan was on the bed slowly touching himself. He pinched one of his nipples and then the other and then slowly took his cock in his hand. He pulled his foreskin back, slowly caressing the bulb of his cock and then licked his fingers full of precum. He stroked his cock lazily with one hand while sucking one finger in his mouth before... oh fuck... starting to finger his ass.
My eyes were glued to the TV. And I watched him pumping his shaft faster and faster. While that finger of his was pounding into his hole. Doing what I ached to do. He came hard all over his hand. He looked straight at the camera and wink before licking his hand full of cum.
I got up fast. Shocked. He winked at me! Damn. Ethan Cullen will never cease to surprise me.
I knew I was playing with fire. Nothing good would come out of teasing Alex. But I wanted him to punish me, to do something to me. Fuck me, spank me, anything. By now I already figured out that we were on a mountain. I could feel it. I could hear the birds; smell the untouched, pure and green forest. We were in the middle of nowhere.
And I've decided that Alex would be mine no matter what. If I was going to die, I wanted to make sure I fucked Alex before I went to hell. I really did not want to die a virgin. There were things I needed to do before I die. I wanted to live a little. To have fun.
I spent my childhood and adolescence fighting. Fighting for a better education. Fighting to get out of my hometown. But now I really wanted to experience life. Just a little. That was the least Alex could do for me, right? I wondered if he enjoyed my little show...
I took a shower, put on the clothes I'd found in the room's closet and went out to look for my deadly archenemy. Wow. The house was great and so colorful. There was a cozy feeling about it which surprised me. I thought vampires were supposed to like dark colors. I knew I was stereotyping but seriously who would have thought that Alex would love those flamboyant colors. Red, cream, green. It would have seemed ridiculous if those colors weren't used expertly.
I had been walking around the house for what, to me, seemed ages before I ended up in a library where Saint Alex (lol, was there anything saintly about him?) was reading a book. He looked up at me, his eyes lingering on my crotch.
"Oh! Hi. Glad you're awake. How did you find your room so far?" he grinned. As if the bastard didn't already know that I was already awake. Hypocrite. Just play his game Ethan!
"Good. Hmm... So, what happened yesterday?"
"In the office. After I... After I broke down." I could hear my voice shaking.
"Ah! You kind of pass out after that. And apology accepted." I looked at him frowning.
"I wasn't apologizing." I said defiantly.
He raised an eyebrow.
"You're really acting defiant for someone who wants to ask me a favor."
"So, stop being so vague." I yelled." And I'd prefer it if you stop reading my mind."
"Damn. I like it when you get all fussy." He smiled. "Are you like that in bed too? Oh, by the way top or bottom?"
What the fuck? Couldn't he see I was being completely serious? My life was in danger, people were trying to kill me, I didn't want to deal with the hybrid's immaturity too. The guy was crazy. Why was I attracted to such a child? A bastard? Maybe if I hurt him, I would be able to get something out of him? Maybe he was one of those masochist people?
I knew a girl like that back in high school. Gosh, how I hated that bitch! I wanted to kill and fuck the hell out of her. But my cock didn't want to get hard for her. Or for any girl. That was how I got initiated into the world of gay men. And I started to fuck every piece of ass willing to take my eight inches cock.
"Top or bottom?" The bastard dared to ask again.
"Why does it even matter? I don't sleep with trashy monsters and as long as I'm concerned you are one." I murmured looking at him with disgust written all over my face.
Yeah, tell him Ethan. I wondered if I could just fucked him and get my lust with him over with. Was he submissive? Would he be willing to survive my cock just like my ex-boyfriend? The bastard, the cheater if I had fucked him good enough, he would have never dared to cross me. To cheat on me with my supposed best friend. I wasn't going to make that same mistake with Alex.
"Shut up already". He yelled. "You're giving me a headache with all your sudden thoughts. No I'm not submissive, I'm sorry your ex cheated on you but now I can certainly see why. Now be a good slut, I have a cock here that need to be sucked. If..."
I punched him. I punched him hard and sent him flying against the wall. I was going to kill the bastard. I straddled him to the ground and started to punch him violently. Calling him names. I punched him for all the times my dad chained me to a wall, making him suck his dick. I punched him because he dared to utter the words "slut, I have a cock that need to be suck". I punched him because those were the words that came out of my father's mouth every time he wanted me to suck him.
I punched him for all the times I had been incapable of hitting my father. For all the times the world fucked me up. I punched him and punched him. I punched him the same way my father used to punch me.
That thought made me stop. And I look at Alex. His blood on my clothes, hands. Then I realized I acted just like my father did. I had done the same thing my father did to me. Oh Fuck! I didn't want to be like my father.
Alex looked at me with a blank face. I expected him to be mad. I expected him to slap me. To hurt me. I expected him to kill me. I expected anything but I wasn't quite ready for what he had in mind.
I straddled Ethan to the ground and looked at him. I could read the remorse on his face and could see the tears. He was ready to accept whatever punishment I had to offer. Punish him! Screamed a voice inside me. Hurt him, kill him!
But I couldn't, I didn't want to. He obviously had been really hurt in the past. And I had been a cruel bastard to him. Why did I say those hurtful words to him? I knew exactly why.
It was because of his father. I'd met the bastard. Leonidas Cullen. I met the man who dared to call my Ethan "his son". I was hurt when he told me that Ethan was a cocksucker, a slut. I was hurt when he told me he had found Ethan sucking his friends for money when he obviously didn't need it. I
had been hurt. I didn't believe Leonidas at first and then I remembered Ethan's own words when we were in Lewis' office: "don't kill me please, I'll even suck your friends' cock if I have to". I had believed Leonidas but now looking at Ethan, I could clearly see the truth of his past.
I saw a defenseless young boy chained to a wall at the mercy of a man he called father. I saw a broken man, taking comfort in being the dominant male in his relationships when he clearly was submissive. I saw a young man, working three jobs so he could go to College.
I saw a vulnerable and romantic guy dreaming of a Prince Charming. Saving himself for the right guy. I saw a man in tears, barely managing to feed himself. I saw a man searching for love. A man worth loving. A man I had been waiting for my whole life. A man who needed my love not punishment.
I stood up and took him in my arms, carrying him to my bedroom where I undressed him. I could see the fear and lust on his face. I took him to my bed and laid him down on it. I hold his gaze and started to undress. Slowly.
He licked his lips, unconsciously, calling my eyes to those perfectly shaped and kissable lips. I smiled at him and joined him on the bed.
I kissed him, slowly. Felt the softness of his lips. Made love to his mouth. Tasted him. He tasted of strawberries. Of heaven. He tasted mine. I moaned when I felt his hand on my naked cock and it took me all the courage in the world to stop him.
"No." I moaned. "I don't expect anything from you. Go to sleep, angel. We'll talk when you wake up."
He looked at me, surprise written all over his face. He nodded and looked up at me, silently asking me if he could cuddle against me. I smiled gently and took him in my arms where he belonged. I had never felt so alive in all my life. I wanted to protect him, to love him. I somehow knew that everything was going to be okay. We were going to be okay.
I'm yours Ethan; you just don't know it yet.