My Experience So Far

I don't know where it first began but I remember working at home depot in 2007, watching a gay man in a purple rainbow tshirt walk around the store, and thinking, "you know what... I should suck his dick." The thrill of just thinking that sent a wave of weakening chills through my body. I have never been the same.

At that time AOL still had its gay chat and I would search around for people to... flirt (if this is a good choice of words) with. When it became too real I would always chicken out or last long enough to send me into a masturbating rage which and when I would squirt the most cum: nothing real ever happened. I would be normal again, in fact, I would be disgusted with myself for even attempting something like this. There was one tall and thin, blonde white guy who lived in st. Petersburg who pretty much made me decide if i was going to do it at all, he said, "it's just a blowjob."

Not to me. It was a taboo. it was forbidden. Me, of all people!? Could you imagine it, a guy submitting to his knees before a man, the denim jeans dropping, maybe the guy has no underwear, and there it is... the fat man penis. And you've got to suck it. And you're a man. You shouldn't have to suck it, you don't need to, but here you are, and you want to.

I still didn't go through with it.

One year later, miles away, and I was introduced to craigslist. I began searching and pulled a few women here and there, which I loved but I would always sulk back to (what's called) the craving.

I finally set myself up for a date with a mysterious guy. A guy who turned out to be the local santa clauss. He was an older man. At first site I thought this was the guy. My standards aren't too high, all I care about is staying clean and the dick. That changed however as I entered his house. The place smelled like vinegar. I had instantly regretted the whole thing. BUT, he showed me some medical papers proclaiming that he was clean, and some small talk he slowly got to his fat knees which were cracking, and pulled my denim jeans down. I did not wear undies. He sucked my limp dick. I was scared. He stretched it and I remember him breathing deeply. It was disturbingly erotic, but gross. When I got hard, my dick head touching the back of his throat he would give these husk coughs, ignoring them to slobber and suck some more. He was slow but steady. He loved my cock. And I kept repeating that in my head like it was funny. Like I was playing some prank on a lesser person. Bullying them, another male, forcing them to embarrassingly suck dick... and love it. I wanted to be that dick sucker.

I didn't tell him I was cumming. I don't think he cared he wanted to swallow, In mid-thrust I began shooting, mostly into the back of his throat, which he tried to pull out to get most of it on his tongue. He would keep eye contact with me as I sputtered out, his old tongue circling around my shaft. I had given the whole thing a grade F. I thought that it would never happen again. I didn't want it to.

Not until I saw her... I mean him. One late night after class at artschool I got a message back from a ladyboy I had been emailing sweetly. I went to her house not knowing what to expect, but she answered the door and was exotic. Beautiful. Everything I was hoping for. This was months and months after Santa. Still new to all of it I was terrified, but the thing about a girly, really girly boy... is that they understand. Finally, as I shivered, she made the first move, pulling out my limp dick while standing up, bent over me as I laid on her couch. Her petite package was inches away. My cock grew and grew in her/his spanish lips. "Can I suck yours too?" I couldn't wish for a better feeling as she gave a weird pause and replied, stunned, "sure?" I grabbed the only other dick I had ever touched in my life through her tight panties; pulled it out, and it was really dark, oddly crooked, and uncut. Slipped a condom over it as I smelled at its scent just inches away.

This is it. Do I really want to be a cocksucker? I'm about to suck dick! Do I really want to do this?

She pushed it through my concerns and I kissed its head tip. I always thought that no matter what you do, the kiss is the most sensual. The most innocent and intimate. To place a kiss on the same gender's organ... feels like that's how everything should start! I pulled the crooked and extremely hard solid dick into my mouth, moving up and down like some red neck ginger slut about to eat a black man's cum. We were 69ing, I was excited beyond belief, doing what she did, and trying more. I came quickly minutes later, inside the condom and had suddenly been turned off. She sucked at the cum sack building at the tip, while I tried to jack her/him off to get it over with. After awhile, she sensed this and we stopped. I've always regretted not keeping in touch with her/him. But it happens.

For the longest time after that I couldn't find anymore trannies. Eventually I resorted back to men. Two men this time. There was one light skinned mexican and an older white guy. Me being too nervous led to a long delay until the white guy got sick and went to the bathroom. I staid behind and let the spanish guy stroke my limp cock. He went back to his bed and asked if I sucked dick. Nearly leaping to the side of the bed, I went over and helped him slide his clothes down. He had a tiny dick. It smelled like soap, which made me happy. I loved sucking on what little he had. He would talk to me asking me where I had come from and what I did for a living, but I think he got off on trying to hold my head down on his penis while trying to answer. It all ended as he checked on his friend and they asked me to come back later. Insulted, because i began sucking his dick and then was told not to, I left and then rejected every plea to come back.

I have a nice dick. Usually when you do, you can post and find people really fast. This happened and I was led to this regular guy's house. I wanted to suck his cock but he wouldn't let me. He sucked mine, I came, and he swallowed, but he kept sucking. It was painful, often uncomfortable, until I regrouped and lasted a lot longer. I didn't cum again until he made me fuck his face. As I came again, I guess he thought it was his turn and pulled out a fat hefty dick, one which I wanted no part in after becoming straight minded again.

After going through some financial difficulties, I was finally urged to do it again. Behind my friend's backs, as I snuck away and got into the car of this really fat guy. He was supposed to drive around and let me give him road head. But I guess that's when I guess he figured me to be a crack head or something. When he saw that I was a regular guy he took me back to his house. Sitting down he pulled out, yet another small dick. He promised it would get bigger. It did not. But, it was colored like a black man's cock. Which I enjoyed. So, I sucked it for a few minutes, slobbering all over his carpet because I didn't want to swallow any of him. I moved out of the way as he came, but was clipped in the mouth as I came back around. He had a gentle taste. It saturated on my tongue. I put his dick back into my mouth, savoring, as he went limp.

This guy named Bill emailed me back on a posting begging me to suck his cock. He lived in a nice neighborhood. He had an awesome house, and he was quite wealthy. Sitting around and bullshitting I asked him if he wanted to get to it. Dropping to my knees as he stood up, pushing my tongue against his denim jeans. He had a dick that bent upwards. I could deep-throat it easily, it being 6.5 inches or so. Jacking it off in my mouth until he folded back to his chair I pretended I was a goofy bobble head, getting quirky on his thickening prick. He didn't last long and I was too scared to swallow but it was a fair turn out.

I finally went to this older guy's house who was apparently was a notorious cocksucker around the website. He showed me tons of pictures of him blowing long and thin or short and stubby, even black dicks. He was drunk when I got there. He was blown away even... I sucked his dick from the get go. One of the nicest, longest dicks I have sucked. Clean shaven. He loved it. Then he asked me to suck his balls. I drew the line after the cock, in fact i never even thought about sucking on the balls. that was gay to me, even as i had the dick in my mouth. Reluctantly, i licked his balls up and down, putting them one at a time in my mouth until it got boring. I went back to his dick, making love to it with my tongue, while he took pictures with my phone. At that moment, I was going to swallow his cum, no questions asked. I thought back to all the dicks I had sucked at that one. I was now pretty much certified. I was a dick sucker! It would haunt me at points but I loved doing it. What's wrong with that? I didn't get to swallow this guy's cum but he swallowed mine. I had always planned to go back but never did.

Well, that's my journalistic update for now.