My Heart Belongs to Santa

"Mom, where are my shoes?"

"Mom, I can't find my coat."

"Mooooom!!! Cwooee hit me!"

"Chloe Diane! Be nice to your sister!"

"But she took my dolly."

"So you come tell me, you do not hit your sister." Her brown eyes narrowed as she looked from one girl to the other. "Tell her you're sorry."

The girls turned to face each other, identical in almost every way. "Sowwy, Cassidy."

"Okay, Cwoee."

"Good now would you two please stop playing and go get your shoes on so we can go to lunch!"

"Yay! McDonalds!" The voices were in unison as they ran off to do as their mother asked.

"Mom! Courtney's playing with my builder bear dog!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Mom!"

"Mom's not here!" Karen bellowed to the children yelling at her. Holding her head in her hands she shook as the tears were about to fall. Slumping into the nearest chair she clamped her eyes tight. You can handle this. Just a few more hours.

"Mom, are you okay?"

Her eyes rose to meet her son's worried hazel ones. "Yes, Collin, Mommy is fine."

"Do you need a hug?"

"From you? Always."

He wrapped his arms around her giving her the biggest hug he could.

"I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too, Bubby." She gave him an extra squeeze, "but I'll be home at the end of the week."

"I know." Collin sniffled, then asked in a quiet voice, "Do you know where my shoes are?"

Laughing she pulled back, "Did you check under your bed."

He biffed his forehead, "Thanks, Mom."

"You're welcome."

She rose to clean up the kitchen before her meeting her friends for lunch. Her stomach was in knots. She glanced at the to-do list, everything was checked off, and everyone's suitcases were packed. There was nothing left to do.

With a swallow she saw Mac, Collin's stuffed vulture who was the leader of Imaginary Town perched on the microwave. She reached for it cradling it to her chest as it hit home that in less than three hours she would be leaving her children for the first time ever.

"We're all ready, Mom." Collin announce with his sisters in tow chattering behind him.

She wiped the tears she didn't realize had escaped before facing her children with a fake smile, "Then let's go!"

By the time she got to McDonald's her group was gathered in a corner waiting for them. The kids ran over to their "aunts", while Karen got their lunches.

Once everyone had eaten and the kids were playing Zoë stepped out of the play area to call her aunt. When she returned she winked at Megan before sitting across from Karen.

"My aunt and uncle were already up at the cabin making sure everything would be ready for you." Zoë smiled, reaching out to take Karen's hand, "It'll do you some good to de-stress and have some time to yourself. And Mike is excited about getting a week with a house full of kids!"

Karen was still wrestling with the indecision of it all. Not so much Could Zoë and Mike handle the kids for a week? The question really was could she survive without her children for that week?

"I'm just concerned. I mean, are you sure you can handle my eight year old, five year old and my three year old twins for a week?"

"You've done it for this long...how hard can it be?"

Megan draped her arm around Karen's shoulders. "Don't worry, Sweetie. Everything will be fine."

Karen nodded as the first tears fell, "I know. But I already miss them and I haven't left yet."

"What is it you're going to miss? Early morning wake up calls, having to sleep in p.j.'s, middle of the night potty runs, filling juice glasses and reattaching Barbie's appendages when they came off during a battle with the Imaginary Town warriors?" Megan's blue eyes chilled Karen as she thought about all that.

"It's your decision. If you're going to go, go give some kisses and hugs out and then leave. If not...well then go get a refill of diet coke and I'll whip out my deck of cards for some rummy while the kids play." Zoë's voice was gentle, with a firm edge.

Karen looked over at her children and sighed realizing that by going on this vacation she would be free from everything Megan said and more. "You know, rummy makes a better two player game."

***************

Country music filled the car as Karen drove through the country roads; she was about a half hour away from the cabin according to the directions Zoë gave her. Reaching over she grabbed her cell phone and called Zoë.

"Hello?"

"Hey Zoë, it's Kare."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine I was just calling to see how things are."

"Jesus Christ! You've only been gone a little over six hours. The kids are fine, I just tucked them in. Don't call me again unless you're dying. Love you, bye." click.

Karen pulled her phone from her ear and stared at it. "She hung up on me." After the shock wore off she put her phone away, stopped at a Podunk liquor store getting herself a couple bottles of wine, then smiling headed to Paradise.

The moon was full lighting the way as the snow covered cabin came into view. "This place really is paradise."

She hopped out of the car, got her luggage from the trunk and went in. The cabin was warm, and in an instant Karen felt at home. She carried her bags into the bedroom dropping them on the bed, and flopped down next to them. She glanced at the phone on the nightstand; before she could talk herself out of it she called Zoë.

"Tom's Turkey Farm."

"I'd like to get a small turkey."

"Sorry, we're all out of turkey's. It was a virus of some sort and they all went foul."

"Hi, Mike. It's Karen." She was trying to hold back her laughter so she could actually talk.

"I know. How was the drive?"

"Good, Zoë's directions were great."

"There's a first." His deep chuckle filled Karen's ear.

"Anyway...I was ah calling to ah..."

"They had Oreo's and milk while watching some Disney film. We just tucked them in about an hour ago and they are fine."

"Okay."

"Karen, we know it's rough. But take this time and worry about you."

"Is that her again? Is she dying?" Zoë voice resounded in the background.

With a light laugh, Karen spoke, "Tell her I am safe, lonely and I love her. Hug the kids for me."

"Will do. Have fun, Muffin."

Karen laid the phone back in its cradle, curling up in a ball for comfort as she cried. Fat tears rolled down her cheeks as she shook with each sob. For the first time in over eight years she didn't have to hide her tears in the shower. Reaching out she pulled the phone onto the bed next to her, crying herself to sleep.

************************

Karen flipped over in bed, squinting her eyes at the bright light. Stretching out she felt her muscles fight the motion.

"When did I get old?" groaning she turned her head to the side, pulling the phone closer. She waited for the sounds of giggles and chatter, heartbroken when she didn't hear them. She stared at it as she finished waking up, finally deciding to call the kids. The smile that spread across her face as the phone rang faded just as fast when the answering machine picked up. "They probably went out shopping."

With another stretch, she put the phone back on the nightstand and debated getting up. "I could use a shower..." sighing, she took her glasses off to wipe away stray tears, "Who am I kidding? I could use my kids."

Karen closed her eyes and pictured Zoë and Mike out shopping with her kids. "Stop this. You are here for a break." She took a deep breath and rolled out of bed.

Water washes away the negative. Zoë's voice drifted through her head.

"One hot shower coming up!"

Once she was in the water, she noticed nobody was on the other side of the door waiting to barge in. She took her time showering, staying in the water until it ran cold. As she stepped out she wrapped as much of herself as she could in the towels and went to unpack.

Taking her clothes out she noticed a pink bag sandwiched between some sweaters. "What the hell...." she recognized Zoë's handwriting and blushed as she read the note:

Dear Karen,

We know how much you love penguins and take pride in your collection. Megan and I found this one to add to your collection. We hope that it will bring you great pleasure!

Love Till the kitchen sinks Zoë n Meg

She opened the bag with a nervous hand. Inside was a pearly white vibrator, which had a penguin for clitoral stimulation and an iceberg shaft. The word waterproof was circled with a black marker, and it came with a sample of lube.

"Oh my God." Karen felt her cheeks burning. "I can not believe those two!"

Laughing she took her new toy out of the box and pressed the buttons to test it. The toy buzzed to life, the penguin bouncing up and down like it was on a caffeine rush and the shaft went in wide circles, for the purpose of massaging the whole pussy.

Karen rolled her eyes, shut it off as she set it aside to get some clothes on and go for a walk.

The air was brisk taking her breath away as she stepped out into it. The sun shone on the snow making it sparkle and shine. It didn't seem to matter what time it was she was in a magical place. She walked around the cabin to the backyard and then began to walk towards the woods.

Taking out her digital camera she paused at the entrance to the woods, if pictures were worth a thousand words this one would leave people speechless. Snow covered each branch, even clinging to the tree trunks. This was a place she had seen as a child, and in the summer was lush, alive and green. Right now, with everything covered in snow, it was magic.

Ahead of her were two deer, their heads were close together as if they were sharing a secret. Karen snapped the picture knowing that the kids would love to see it! When she pulled the camera away to review the picture, it was just of the snow and trees. She looked up and saw just snow and trees and no deer. "I am not crazy. I know what I saw!"

She walked a little further when she noticed some bright red spots on the clean snow. "This can't be good."

Karen looked in all directions trying to see what might've been bleeding. "Okay, you're out in the woods alone. Something is losing blood and if you keep waiting to see what it is you might lose some too."

Backing up slowly, Karen began to retreat out of the woods. Once she was safe, she walked back towards the cabin, and caught movement in the corner of her eye. Turning she saw a big dog limping.

Unsure if she should approach him, she stood in place to see what he was going to do.

The dog tilted his head and gave her a wary glance before lying down in the snow, whimpering. Karen looked around before taking a step closer. He continued to lie there, only now his right paw was twitching.

"I'm Karen," Her brown eyes were alert, and she pushed her glasses up a bit. "You seem to be hurting, if you'll let me, I can try and help you."

She continued walking closer to him, nervous that he might attack, but she couldn't let the animal freeze to death in pain. "I'm going to pet your head and then see if I can lift you."

One hand was down near his nose so he could scent her, as the other began to pet the dog's head, scratching a bit behind the ears. A quick glance showed no blood, so she thought it might just be a hurt paw. Without waiting, she found a way to lift him, Jesus, this is like carrying Collin! and carried him the short distance back to the cabin to let him get warm and hopefully feel better.

*************************

"Chow time!" Karen called out to her furry roommate.

The large dog came to her and sat waiting patiently for his dinner.

"Hey Handsome." She scratched behind his ears before setting down the bowl of rice, chicken broth and some chicken chunks. "I know this is getting old for you, but Zoë said it would be best for your tummy since we don't know what you're used to eating."

He dropped his head and began to eat his food. Just as Karen was ready to dig into her the phone rang. "Shit!" She jumped startled since she was getting used to the quiet and ran to get the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Kare-bear!"

"Hey, Zoë!"

"I have four special people that want to talk to you."

"Hi, Mom!"

"Hello, my ladybug Courtney!"

Karen spent over an hour talking to each of her kids, before finally getting to eat her own lunch. The weather was warmer today so she was ready for that hike. Maybe she would even see those elusive deer again.

Karen hugged the dog before putting on her coat. "You stay here and relax, I'll be back later."

Grabbing up the bag of scraps and bread she put together Karen went to feed some animals in the woods and see what she could before she froze to death.

The sun was shining high in the sky, warming her cheeks as she began to walk the same trail that led her to her new friend. It seemed that last nights dusting of snow refreshed the beauty of the woods. As she walked along she watched for any tracks she could find so she would know where to leave a small deposit of food.

Every few minutes she would pause and take a deep breath of air then leave a handful of food for whatever creatures were around and wanted it. There was nothing but bread left when she reached a clearing; there at the bottom of the hill was another cabin. I wonder if they're home...

While she stood there contemplating she heard heavy breathing. What the hell is behind me? She turned around slow, not knowing what to expect and was face to face with a giant deer. "Oh God."

The deer tilted its head and sneezed on her.

"Bless you." Karen took a step back, then another.

The deer thought this was a great game and followed. The more steps Karen took, the more the deer did, until her last step caused her to trip on a stick, falling on her ass and sliding down the small hill.

"Shiiiiiiiiit!"

Her decent was brought to a sudden stop by the tree that stopped her. She laid still looking to see the stump, Trees don't wear boots. looking up she followed the boots to jeans and those up to flannel parka and further up to a set of lips that were full, cheeks that were rosy and eyes that were so brown they reminded her of milk chocolate.

"Trying to leave a trail so you can find your way home?"

"What?" Karen laughed not believing she fell down a hill to land at a man's feet.

He nodded to the bread bag in her hand. "Trying to leave a trail?"

"Oh! No, I hate wasting food so I put it all together so I could feed the animals in the woods."

"That's nice."

"Thanks." Karen smiled and tried to get up. "Ouch."

"Where are my manners? Are you okay?"

"I think I pulled my back a bit."

"Here, let me help you up." He offered his hands, as he bent to help her stand.

"Thank you." Karen smiled and took the offered hands.

Once she was upright she realized how tall he was. "I need to get back to my dog."

"What kind?"

"What kind of what?"

"Dog."

"I don't know. I found him."

"Do you need some help?"

"With the dog?"

"No." He laughed, "Getting back up the hill."

"Oh. Yes, that would be nice...ummm, what's your name?"

"Nick." He wrapped an arm around her for support. "And you are?"

"Karen."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Karen."

As they walked up the hill together, Karen felt her muscles tense. Jesus, he smells so good. Like fresh cut pine trees and gingerbread cookies.

"How did you end up falling?"

"I'm not sure. I think I tripped on a stick when the deer kept following me."

"Deer? Deer are people shy."

"This one wasn't!" She used her hands to express her words, "He had a huge set of horns and was huge himself! Just like the two I thought I saw yesterday."

"That is weird."

They made it up the hill and back to her cabin. Once they stepped in the door the dog was all over Nick.

"Cupid!" Nick roughed up the dog's fur a bit and knelt down to see him. "You're a dog!"

"Cupid?"

"Uh-huh."

"So you know him?"

Laughing Nick stood up, "Yes, he belongs to my Dad. I brought him with me and he took off. I thought maybe he just ran back to my Dad's place." He gave the dog warning glance.

Cupid flopped over and whined, causing Karen to forget her back and drop to the dog's side.

"Are you okay, Handsome?" she stroked his fur with small loving strokes, making sure his paw was okay.

Nick knelt down with her, "What's wrong?"

"His paw was injured when I found him. Maybe the excitement of seeing you and jumping on it got to him."

Nick was silent as he watched her tend to his dog. He leaned over to look at the wound and Karen was bringing her head up to look at Nick.

"Crack."

"Ow!" Both of them reached for spot that was injured and then asked, "Are you okay?"

After a few deep breaths and some giggles, Karen reached over to check Nick's chin. "No permanent damage seems to be done."

"Maybe you should kiss it?"

"Kiss it?"

"Yes. A mom's kiss always makes boo-boo's better."

"How do you know I'm a mom?"

His brown eyes were warm and in them Karen could see herself, "I can just tell."

She leaned in, pressing her lips against his chin, feeling the stubble from a five o'clock shadow. "All better."

His hand came up cupping her cheek, his thumb stroking her lips lightly, "All better."

When they pulled away from each other, they both looked to Cupid. "Maybe he should stay here one more day before you take him home."

"Would you mind?"

"No! He's been great company."

"Do you miss them?"

"I missed them before I left."

Nick gave Karen a smile that warmed her to her toes. "I'll come check on him tomorrow."

"Sounds good. If you'd like we can have dinner together."

"I can't wait."

"Thank you for helping me up the hill."

"Thank you for taking care of Cupid." He leaned in and kissed her lips before getting up and heading home.

Once the door closed behind him, Karen crawled to the window and watched him walk away.

Cupid crawled over and gave her hand a juicy lick. Knowing what he wanted she began to pet him. "He's something else."

"Bark!"

"I think this calls for a little me time."

Karen got up and went to get her penguin fleece robe. She had been dying to try out the hot tub and now was the perfect chance. Looking to the nightstand her new penguin toy beckoned to her.

"If I'm ever going to try using it, it's going to have to be on this trip." laughing she stripped down, got her robe and vibrator before getting a glass of wine and heading to the hot tub. Giggling like a sixteen year old, Karen found herself feeling liberated as she stepped naked into the cold.

She moved quickly to uncover the hot tub so she could get in before her tits froze off, then tossed her robe where it could be within reach when she was ready to get out. She lifted her glass of wine up and wielding her vibrator like a sword she yelled into the backyard, "I am woman, hear me moan!"

Leaning her head back, she hit the switch for the jets, letting the tension drain out of her body. Each jet was turned to hit just the right way feeling like a strong pair of hands massaging her.

Karen began to think about Nick as the water pulsated against the bottoms of her feet; she sipped her wine pretending it was him using his hands to rub out the aches when she came home from a long day at Wal-Mart.

Arching her back she noticed the water working on her legs, massaging away the rest of the ache. She downed her wine and focused on the rest of the jets. In her mind she went from having one lover to having a network of helping hands, expert hands that knew just where to be, and just how to touch.

Her breasts bobbed in the water and she found herself wishing there was someone there to massage another ache she was having. Sitting up she scanned the yard to make sure no one was around. Seeing nothing but the gentle fall of snow, Karen relaxed and began to massage her breasts herself.