My Journey into BDSM

I was 18, extremely popular, and had several boyfriends all at the same time, everyone knew about each other and didn't have any issues. I worked in the hospitality industry at this time, life was fun, crazy and never boring. One day an older guy came in to the bar, he watched me for awhile, but didn't say much, he just took his drink, and watched, it don't bother me, I was used to receiving attention. This routine continued for about three days. Finally the guy starts to talk, I could see he was interested in me. but I wasn't interested in another relationship, I was juggling the five I currently had.

Over the next month, this guy would pop up wherever I was, never approaching, me, never speaking to anyone, just watching, I found it, sort of creepy. In the end I was annoyed, No angry, and I approached him. I wanted to know what his problem was.

He just looked at me with these brooding eyes, and a slight smirk. He said s name was Dave, And could he buy me a drink, he also stated he wanted to ask something of me. I agreed. Over drinks we spoke for some time, and what he said, blew me away.

He explained that he worked in security, not just any type, he worked with the government. "Yeah right" I thought. He said, I fascinated him, he had never meet anyone like me, and he wanted to do things for me, anything I requested. I was stunned, and as I looked at him, I looked into his eyes and said, ever so softly "anything?"

Due to my crazy life style, it didn't hurt to have someone I could rely on. (I had a friend who was a Dectective and I had him check the guy out, and bugger me dead, this guy was all he said he was) so the next time he approached me, I asked what sort of arrangement he was looking for? He wanted nothing more than to please me, pamper me, do anything and everything for me. But, and here's where it got really interesting! "He had to live with me!" I wasn't comfortable with this idea, but on further discussion it was not going to be a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship, it was going to be Mistress and Slave.

I had never had this type of relationship, and I was intrigued, so I allowed the guy to come live with me. Whilst he was with me, he was true to his word. I would come home from work, and he would be waiting to open the door, then once the door closed he would drop to his knees, and kiss my feet. The first couple of times this stunned me, he would remove my shoes, and settle me on the settee, with my favourite drink. He prepared all meals, did all the housework, and I do mean all, he bathed me, brushed my hair and filed my nails, set out my clothes, even washed my delicates by hand. I went about my life as usual, he chaffered me to and from work, sometimes he would stay, he would just sit for hours, keeping an eye on me. He never interfered with my lifestyle or made any of my lovers feel intimidated in anyway. His role was to serve and obey me at all times. I loved owning a slave. He taught me about pleasure, and boy could he pleasure me, in ways that would leave me fully satisfied. And yet we never had sex. He taught me to use punishment if he did not do something to please me, this was seldom given, as there was very little he did that would cause me to take this action. He wore a collar, and leather jeans, most of the time, with no shirt whilst in the home, but on occasion, if i wanted to inspect my property he went naked, he had a beautiful body, 6'4 he was really built, muscular, fit, and well endowed.

I really wanted to have sex with him, but it was never going to happen, in a way I guess this was my punishment for agreeing to this relationship.

When we went out in public, he wore a shirt, always black. and always with his collar on display, he was proud to show to others that he belonged to me. He never spoke to others, without my permission. My female friends were jealous, they wanted what I had. And I would laugh and say, "that was never going to happen, he was mine, and mine alone".

Our unusual relationship lasted almost 17months. Eventually he was reassigned. He asked me to release him, which I did. I really didn't think I would see him again, but I did, about 8 months later.........

I was working, and I looked up, and there he stood, leaner, more muscular if that was even possible, and he wore a suit. I was stunned, excited, and so much more. He ordered a drink, and quietly asked if he could drop by later, when I was free. He new my routine so well and was aware that this was a night that I spent in what I called "MeTime" I didn't date on this night. I spent this time doing the things I enjoyed. As he had always been apart of my pampering I agreed. It's really funny, but when he left, I lost interest in my lovers, and discarded most of them, but to this day my ex-lovers and I still remain friends.

My Dave takes me home, and it's is different, he's different. And I ask "why have you come back". He says "I came back for you, I missed you, I needed to see you"

I'm confused and think does he want to continue we're we left off, so I ask him if this was the case. He replies, "I'm here in any capacity you choose, you only have to ask, and I will fulfil your every wish" I look into those dark brooding, yet mysterious eyes, and I say" make love to me" He gives me that sexy smirk and says " your wish is my command" then he stands, holds forth his hand and says" come" and he leads me into my bedroom......

I thought I had, received great sex before, but nothing prepared me for what was to come, it was mind blowing, he was no longer my slave, he was something else completely, frightening, domineering, scary as hell. He became the master in the bedroom, and the first thing he did was grab me and and kiss me with such passion, a kiss that was so raw, so powerful, and yet so sensual, and when the kiss ended, he lifted his lips from mine, looked at me and smiled, and said "that's for making me crave you" I just stood there trembling. He once again approached me, took my face into those large hands and kissed me with so much passion, that my tummy had butterflies, and my legs trembled. He then slowly removed my clothes, kissing and caressing me all over, it was so sensual, "lie down" he whispered, and as lay there, he went into the bathroom and grabbed the massage oil, and upon returning he proceeded to massage me all over, his hands drove me wild, he then opened my bedside draw, and withdraw the leather cuffs, these were adjustable and he placed them on my wrist, and softly said, "my turn" fuck what's he going to do, he then placed the blind fold on me. At this stage my legs were not bound. He then worshipped my body with his tongue nipping here and there, sucking toes, fingers, nipples, I loved it, the sensation was amazing. And when he kissed me in a very intimate place, and did the most amazing things to me, I found that his tongue drove me crazy, the orgasm when it came was indescribable. There was not one inch of my body he did not neglect. When he felt I was truly wet enough, he position himself at my entrance, and took me slowly, sensually, lovingly, I had never had anyone his size, and I didn't know if I would handle him, but he worked his magic, and I managed to accommodate him, and enjoy every pleasurable moment.

The next day after our night together, I called in sick, he had demanded that I was to take time of and spend with him. I had a friend who was a doctor, and he wrote a medical certificate for me to give to work. He stayed for two weeks and taught me so much..... My two weeks were crazy, I spent those next two weeks in a void of pleasure, and pain. I received, so much, and the sex was fantastic, I never knew what was going to happen all I knew, was it was going to be very interesting, and kinky, I explored areas I never thought I would, there were no boundaries, he taught me how enjoyable anal sex could be, and he was an expert in this area also, he preps me so well and was so gentle that the pain wasn't as excruciating as I was expecting. Believe me there was pain due to his size, but there was a hell of a lot more pleasure. After each session he would massage me, bath me, and ensure that I was ok. We went out in public, had wonderful intimate dinners, would stroll the botanical gardens, and do normal stuff. I even gave him head whilst out. I liked giving him head. And he liked receiving, I found that with his guidance, I was capable of deep throating.

When it was time for him to leave, I did ask him, why he changed, he laughed and said, I've always been a dominant person, But then I saw you, watched you, I found I wanted you, and for once in my life , I knew I had found someone I truly wanted to serve, and pleasure, and be submissive for". He stated that he would never take that role with another. It was his gift to me and me alone. I was so happy, I loved him, and I knew he loved me. At the end of the Two weeks he left.

A few months later I met someone in a different scene altogether, and I became his mistress, It was an open relationship, I was now the mistress/girlfriend to the president of an outlaw bike club.( but thats a whole different story).

With regards to my Slave turned Master I never heard or saw him again. Approximately three years later I learnt that he had died. I felt as if my heart had shattered, and I vowed that I would never allow anyone to control me and do the things he did.

Initially after Dave left and I became a part of the bike scene, I hardened up, not on the outside, but inside, I was cold, cruel and at times sadistic.

After learning of Dave's death, I looked into myself and decided I needed to became more sensual, more caring, more giving, had he not shown me that this is who I am.

On occasion my dark-side does surface, but I push it back. Being a sensual person, allows me to express my needs, and sometimes even I need to let another lead, let them have control, if even for a short time, let them provide what I require. Sometimes I need to submit. I'm very careful whom I allow this privilege. I need to trust them to give me back control.

For many years, I suppressed my dark-side, I smothered my deeper needs, but I would never be completely happy, always different, portraying an aura of mystery. An aura of vulnerability. I knew people were drawn to me, particularly men. I knew I attracted males, maybe I radiated an aura of sexuality, sensuality, mixed with something deeper, darker.

It would take over 30 years to finally admit what I was and what it was that I needed. I was a Dominant, a Sensual Dominant, I was a Mistress. and the thing I needed was a submissive. For without them, I was never going to be complete.

Thankfully, I found several men willing to submit to me, men whom I call my own, they Trust, love, cherish, and worship me. They complete me.

Being a part of the scene, has allowed me to make new friends, with similar interest to me. People who don't judge me for the lifestyle I wish to lead. People who I call friends. People who are helping me learn and grow. They guide and protect.

I love the BDSM scene, particularly the D/s part of it I enjoy learning new techniques. I attend different workshops, and are a member of sub-groups. There is always something happening, workshops, munches, group activities etc - it definately is never boring. The whole scene thing is about pleasure, and how each person receives or gives pleasure in different ways. I never judge, for whom am I to judge. I am a Hedonist, with a dominant side, and a Mistress. And I am proud of who and what I am.