My Life is You Ch. 13

"Around two a.m. I poured myself into a cab and came home. Belinda was still awake. When I walked in the door she was waiting at the top of the stairs. I stumbled up them toward her. She reached out to help me. After I had abandoned her at one of her happiest moments, she was going to help me to bed.

"That alone made me feel even worse. Here I had been an absolute shit, and she still loved me enough to try and help me to bed. I shoved her away, not even thinking about where we were.

"The next thing I saw was that gorgeous hair of hers billowing out as she fell over the railing of the stairs. I remember it glistened around her even as she plummeted down to the tile of the foyer."

There were tears in Eric's voice now. He swallowed before going on. "Then there was this awful sound. It was the sound of her body hitting the floor. I rushed so fast down the stairs that I more fell down them than anything. She wasn't moving and I thought she was dead. But then I felt her pulse and saw her chest rise, so I rushed to call for an ambulance.

"We were lucky. There was one near by and they arrived within just a moment or so. They stabilized her and transported her to the hospital. Crestwick Sinai. You know it well.

"I almost lost Belinda that night. She did lose the baby. Even more, her splintered pelvis tore apart her uterus and she lost that too. They had to do a full hysterectomy in order to stop the bleeding."

Dillon's heart was pounding in his chest. He would never have imagined something like this lay between Eric and Belinda. They were always too loving toward each other.

"I was terrified the first time I went to see her. I thought for sure she wouldn't want to see me, wouldn't want anything to do with me. How wrong I was. Belinda loves me and she said from the beginning that she knew I never meant to push her.

"Every time I saw her at the hospital, she was happy I was there. I kept waiting for her to reject me, but she didn't. All she asked was that I sell the house and buy a ranch, one where she would never have to go up the stairs. That's how we ended up where we are. It was the only available ranch on such short notice."

"I never would have guessed," Dillon said softly.

"That's because Belinda has truly forgiven me. Oh, she still has sad times when she remembers that she'll never have a baby, but she honestly doesn't blame me for that. I don't know how it's possible, but she doesn't.

"It's amazing how much love, true, strong love, can do. It can help people overcome anything if they just work at it together."

Dillon was forced to agree. After all, Belinda and Eric were a testament to the power of love. And Eric was right. If Belinda could forgive him for that, than surely Seth would find a way to forgive Dillon.

**

Walking hadn't been as good an idea as it had seemed. For one thing, his body just wasn't ready for it. He had already pushed it with all the pacing he had done in the hospital room, now his body was trembling in exhaustion.

It frustrated him to no end that he couldn't even go for a simple walk. Just a week ago he had been a perfectly healthy specimen, able to go jogging for a good hour before he truly felt winded. Now he couldn't even walk easily around the block.

Instead, he was sitting on a bench at the bus stop, trying to summon the energy for the walk back. The heat of the day was draining what little strength he had left and he hadn't even thought to bring along water. It was stupid of him, but he hadn't really thought of this as vigorous exercise.

The truth was, he didn't want to go home. Not that he wasn't comfortable in his place, but it just wasn't where he wanted to be right now. Ever since they had made the arrangements for him to stay with Dillon at Jeremy's place, that had been all he looked forward to. He had dreamed of holding Dillon, of falling asleep next to him. Now, that wasn't going to happen.

Had he just been a plaything to Dillon? He found that hard to believe. For one thing, he and Dillon had never even really played together. For another, Dillon just didn't seem like the kind of guy to toy with a man's affections that way. Yet, how could he ignore what he had heard? It still echoed in his head, "You know I'll always love you Brad."

He shook his head violently, trying to clear those words from his mind. Even worse was the tender way in which Dillon had said them. His voice had rang with sincerity.

But then, he had been pretty convincing Thursday night too. Seth hadn't hesitated to believe him when he had professed his love. Was Dillon that talented an actor? Or was he maybe one of those men that constantly fell in and out of love.

Seth rejected that idea the moment he thought of it. Dillon might have been going through a lot lately, but he was still an extremely stable individual. He wasn't the type to blithely jump from relationship to relationship.

Seth sighed and started to stand up. Before he could even turn to take a step, a mineral grey Honda Civic hybrid pulled to a stop before him. The window descended and he saw Jeremy in the driver's seat, leaning toward him across the passenger side.

"Would you like a ride home or were you planning on taking a bus somewhere?" Jeremy asked.

Seth moved toward the car. He was shocked and dismayed to find that he had stiffened up during the short time he had sat on the bench. "Hey Jeremy," he said. "Thanks for the offer, but I can walk. It's not far."

"Well, that's true," Jeremy replied. "But since you're moving like an old man, I doubt it would be a good idea. Why don't you take me up on my offer? I promise, I won't bite or bug you about anything you don't want to talk about."

After debating his options, Seth was forced to admit that it would be a much better idea to ride home than to walk. He opened the car door and carefully lowered himself into the passenger seat. Once Jeremy was sure that he was properly seat belted in, the car pulled away from the curb.

"If you just take a right here I live just . . ."

"I know where you live," Jeremy interrupted. "I was just going to drive around the block instead of turning around. I thought it might be easier."

"How do you know where I live?" Seth asked, looking sideways at Jeremy.

Jeremy took a deep breath before answering. It was clear to Seth that he was nervous about his reply. "I know because I just dropped Dillon off there," he rushed to get out.

"Stop the car!' Seth commanded. Jeremy threw him a startled look before pulling over into the parking lot of a convenience store. "Do you mean to tell me that Dillon is back at my house right now?"

"Eric let him in," was the only reply that came from Jeremy's mouth.

Seth dropped his head into his hands. Could he really handle facing Dillon just now? On the other hand, wouldn't it be worse to put it off?

"He loves you, you know," Jeremy said softly.

"No, he loves Brad," Seth disagreed. "I know because I heard him say it,"

"Yes, you did," Jeremy replied. "And it's true. Dillon will always love Brad. But, he has never been in love with Brad. They were friends long before there was anything romantic between them. Dillon's not the type of guy to give up friendships easily, so I'm sure Brad will always be a part of his life."

"You want me to just accept that the man I'm in love with will always love his ex-boyfriend?" Seth demanded.

"Yes, I do," Jeremy said, looking out the windshield. "Part of loving Dillon is accepting who and what he is. Well, he's a loving man, one that doesn't turn his back on people. Even people that have let him down. Once he gives his heart, he doesn't ask for it back. He gave Brad his love when they became friends. He's not going to take it away now.

"But the love he's given you is so much more. It's the kind that is deeper and more profound than anything he has with anyone else. It's the kind of love that truly great relationships are based on. Dillon will never turn his back on you, he'll never betray you, he'll never purposefully hurt you.

"In return, he asks for your trust and love. He wants a man that will stand behind him and support him, even when nothing makes sense. I guess it's up to you to decide whether or not you can be that kind of man. I'm hoping you can. I'm hoping that when I pull this car up in front of your house, you'll go in there with the intention of making my best friend incredibly happy instead of breaking his heart."