tagErotic CouplingsMy Neighbour 'Er Name is Alice. Ch. 05

My Neighbour 'Er Name is Alice. Ch. 05

byJack Gates©

Alice and Terry's escapade on the Common.

Chapter four if you all remember concluded with the principle characters other half sharing Alice's bed. Terry now suffering from brewers wilt was in the spooning position tucked in behind our Alice. Both parties with their eyes closed dosing off because they were in a we-can't-go-on state.


'What on earth is that, Terry?'

'It's my cock, Woman! What the Hades do you think it is?'

'No! Not that, that noise outside?'

'You want me to take out a climbing licence and climb all the way over you, just to look out of your window? What if one of your nosy neighbours is out there?'

'Just stay there, Terry, I will go. You have had your way with me. Typical lazy good for nothing man! You don't care if I catch pneumonia, do you?'

He replied with a loud snort and carried on snoring. Alice got out of bed, rubbing her aching legs and pulled on a robe over her emaciated figure and moved with a grunt to her window.

'Terry! Wake up! Come and look at this! It's a dirty great big lorry next door. Poor woman's hardly in her grave and there is someone moving into her house! Bless her soul. Wonder if they know its full of vermin?'

'Didn't know your Molly was squatting there, Alice. Are they young people or fogies like us? Go and ask them who they are and what colours knickers she wears and whether she puts on clean ones every day and if she is going to hang them out so you can see them?'

'I thought you would be more interested in that, Terry. Of course, you want them when she has worn them, just before they are washed! You have even got my Molly keeping her knickers on longer just so you can sniff, lick them or what ever else you do with them. Damn it, I am guilty too! It turns me on when you go down on me and snuffle my pussy through my knickers.'

'Not as I want you to change the subject when you are on my favourite topic, Gal, but what did the doc say about your legs last time you went to see him?'

'He said, they are a lot better and that I should get out and walk more to get the circulation going, why Terry?'

'I was thinking, I should walk more too, was wondering if you would like a nice walk to the common? Its not far, Darling and it's a lovely day out.'

'You are itching to get me down on that grass, ain't ya, Terry?'

'That's what I love about you Alice. Your mind is singular and on the same blooming track as mine. If you want me to give it to you in the grass, then, I will give it to you in the grass, your ass too, if you beg me some more.'

'What will we do if we grow tired, Terry?'

'Doing what?'

You know, walking and things!'

'Dunno, have a nap like we always do, I suppose.'

'What! Out on the grass, in the middle of the common? What about the creepy crawlies, Terry?'

They wont mind us, Alice. They have seen it all before, plus the fact they don't read the scandal magazines.'

'Here! Lock the door for me and give me the key, Terry. What yer got in that their bag you're carrying?'

'Well, I thought we could have a bit of a picnic, Alice.'

'Good on yer, Terry. I loves yer because you aint arf thoughtful!'

After about ten miutes walking, she turned to him and said, 'It's a luvly day, I am glad you got me to come out with you. You are right, commons not so far away is it. Are you going to get naughty with me, when we get there, I mean?'

'Alice, Luv! I am taking you out for your health, I wasn't thinking of us having hanky-panky at all, but now you bought it up, I suppose I could get into your knickers if that is what you really want. A man's work is never done!'

'This place never changes, does it? Used to come over here with me boyfriends when I was a teenager. Got up to some right naughty things, we did.'

'I bet you had more cock than I have had hot dinners, Alice.'

'Don't be rude, come to think of it though, maybe you are right!'

'Come this way, Love. There are some shrubs and things over there, maybe a bit of grass we can lay on and have some privacy.'

'Hope so, I am feeling horny, Terry.'

'Tell me when you ain't. Here we are. Yes, this looks good. Hang-on until I spread this old shower-curtain down on the grass, Alice. Just right for us to get comfy on, ain't it?'

'Ooooo-yes! This is nice, sun's lovely and warm. Feel like getting all naked, I do. Great for our rickety old bones, this!'

'Restrain yourself, Alice. Lots of people walk around here. You will get us nicked for public blooming indecency, you will.'

'Shut up and come and lay down and take my knickers off. They are the ones you like best, me purple ones with white lace trimmings. You said they hold me pong lovely, you did.'

I got very gently to my knees beside Alice and she threw her ample arms around my neck and gave me a resounding open mouth kiss, followed by her rapacious invading tongue, insidiously tussling with mine. Have to admit, didn't arf feel nice.

'Ouch!'

'What's the blinking matter, Terry?'

'Got blooming cramp in me leg, ain't I? Hurts it does. Ain't cut out for all this frolicking in grassy patches like this, Alice.'

'Come here let me rub it better for you.'

'That's my cock you are rubbing, Alice.'

'So it is! It's lovely and hard! A fellow could do a lot with a thing like this for a willing lady like I am, Terry.'

'Are you okay to get yourself screwed on a hard ground such as this, Alice? Don't want to do you no injury, Gal!'

'Why don't you get on with it and take my knickers off for yourself?'

She opened her legs to reveal her wet crotched knickers. I slid my hands up the outside of her expansive thighs and inched them down getting a good smell of her sexy body odour as I did so. She had been busy with the razor again, for an old bird she certainly looked after herself. Me too, I suppose, it was obvious she was doing it for me, she knows I hate a mouthful of pussy hair when I am down tasting the fruits. The anxious way she pushes my head downwards I know she likes me to do her the honours. Just between me you and your Aunty Mary, I can't get enough of the taste of pussy nectar. I am not being personal; I don't really care what you do with your Aunty Mary. If you just happen to be Aunt Mary, then I hope you will understand.

After tucking Alice's knickers into my trouser pocket I slipped my own trousers to half-mast and got the lube out of the other trouser pocket and anointed the Charger with it. Have to do that otherwise the fire risk through friction would be great. Then there maybe further catastrophe if Alice farts and blows the two of us to Hell. Insurance companies look down their noses at that sort of thing, you know? Perhaps you don't. Maybe it's the smell of Alice's farts. Who was the creep who said, 'sex was fun?'

Of course, ever impatient, Alice grabs John Thomas and stuffs him into her very eager orifice before I could get her lubed. I sighed and inwardly thrust, she groaned and it was then we heard, 'Whats that? There is someone over there!'

I froze; Alice froze and started to shake at same time. Then a youngish couple broke into our clearing through the bushes. There was me with cock still fully embedded into our Alice. Wow is me!

'Look, Darling its Great Grand Papa having it off with Great Grand Mama! Dirty buggers!'

'It's indecent, Larry! We should call the police, they should know better at their age. They are still doing it, look! Do something, why don't you stop them?'

'If you and I are still doing it at their age, Lucy, You would be urging me on too!'

'Yes, Larry, I would, but not in a Public Place, that sort of thing should be done in private.'

'Granted, Lucy Darling.'

'Then call the police or I will!'

By this time, I was lying on top of Alice and we were both giggling like a couple of kids. I felt Alice wee-weeing herself which made it impossible for me to move, although John Thomas had shrivelled to haricot bean size. They turned and went away and I heard the guy calling the cops.

Amazingly they were on us in minutes!

The bushes had parted again to reveal PC and WPC Plod.

'Hello, Hello, Hello! What have we got here then?' Said an irate looking police woman with her hands tucked into her bulletproof vest. By this time Alice was pulling on her purple knickers and trying to get both feet in the same leg-hole. The area stank of piss, like a wall in a football ground; even I was mortified, although the lady officer wasn't arf bad to look at. The Sergeant who was with her for the sake of this story we will call Police Sergeant Percival Plonker.

The police lady who introduced herself as WPC Kitty Ketchup, smiled nicely at us, then she confided to us that there had been a public complaint saying that we were fragrantly behaving indecently in a public place. And we would have to be charged and taken to the station where we would be formerly charged and things taken down...at which point, Alice burst out laughing and started to wet herself again. Then, Sergeant P. Plonker took two hasty steps to his rear and almost fell on his ass. Which bought tears of laughter to the lady police officer's blue eyes.

I looked down at her black stocking covered legs, but they stayed dry, she had nice legs though. Then our eyes met and there was a grudging look of admiration in hers mixed with an amused twinkle. She stepped forward to help Alice to her feet while the Sergeant peered interestingly into Alice's ample cleavage. At least we didn't have to walk home. I obligingly laid out the shower curtain over the police car seat for Alice to sit on. Then Alice asked why they were not handcuffing her? I thought she might have kept hidden her liking for bondage. The police lady told her that because of the absence of our zimmers she would trust us not to get off on our corned and calloused toes. Of course Alice saw the funny side and started to giggle, which made me pull up the waterproof sheet around her in case of further accidents. Same time I had to drag her furtive hand away from John Thomas. There was just no halting her geriatric horniness.

At the station we stood together in front of the Duty Sergeant Steven Sternmush and we heard the charges being read out by WPC Kitty Ketchup. I felt Alice trembling, it wasn't with fear because she was titivating her hair and when I looked at her she was making eyes at Sergeant Sternmush. The old tart! I was really peeved when Sergeant Sternmush's countenance started to soften and his bushy eyebrows started to flutter alarmingly. Hells bells! Was he getting the hots for old Alice? What ever, he started to speak, 'I will not arrest you two or make any serious charges at this moment in time, however I will keep you here over night to reflect on the seriousness of your predicament. I need to gather further evidence on this matter and if there are any charges to be made, they will be made in the morning. Take them away.'

I was escorted to my cell by Kitty Ketchup and to my surprise she sat beside me on the hard bench, so close our thighs were touching. 'How old are you Terry, you do not mind me calling you Terry? My name is Kitty.' 'I am 75, Kitty. You probably think I am a stupid old well past it geriatric fool?'

'No I don't, I saw you performing remember - it wasn't exactly boredom I saw on Alice's face, Terry. It has been a while since I have had sex and what I saw turned me on enough to give me wetness in my panties. Would you like to have a feel to see for yourself?'

'You trying to get me charged with assault on a police officer, Kitty?'

She smiled and leaned forward and placed her hand on the back of my head and kissed me so tenderly on my lips that I gasped and felt her tongue slide into my mouth. Her busy hand already arresting an erecting John Thomas. I placed my hand on her stocking clad thigh and then bare flesh and she moaned and pressured my hand into her moist groin, urgently with her own guiding hand. I traced her pussy crevice with my fingers, she was wet! Her kissing was now ardent, displaying strong sexual need. The smell of pussy filled the small cell. I was ready to fuck my very first police lady. She suddenly pulled away and stood up and then dropped her white cotton knickers to the floor and she stepped out of them and kicked them up into my face. I caught them and pressed them eagerly to my nose. She quickly unzipped my trousers and exposed my hard cock and then she was straddling me and guiding JT to her hot wet quim. It was quick, frantically fast fucking. I pinched her nipples through her clothing. She was sucking my tongue that deeply into her mouth I thought she was trying to swallow it. She moaned into my ear that she was creaming and surprisingly to me, I was shooting inside her pussy too. She received the juices I didn't have time to give to Alice. She stood up and quickly threw her knickers under the biscuit mattress on the bench.

'So you will remember me, Terry. Thank you, that was lovely. I suspect that Sergeant Plonker will have finished plonking your Alice by now. Hope she is fit, because Sternmush will want his turn later too. I know from sore experience he likes ladies bums.'

'Why do you put up with it, Kitty?'

'You are having a laugh ain't you. You don't twit on anyone in the Force! Besides, I like it up my bum! Does your Alice?'

'Just between you, me and Alice's cell door, yes she does, loves it.'

'Fancy seconds?'

'Much as I would like to, you are a lovely lady and everything, but John Thomas has said good night and the next time he rises will be at cock crow in the dawning.'

Kitty slammed my cell door quietly, it was then I was aware of Alice moaning out rhythmically, sounds I had heard so many times. They were not agony sounds. They were of extreme joy. There were also sounds of a male grunting with exertion and the slapping of contacting flesh. My Alice was enjoying herself. I fell asleep listening to them, also with the smell of Kitty's pussy in my nostrils. That was one hot police lady.

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