Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here
I realized that I needed to take another leak, and ambled toward the bathroom again. I scratched my balls absentmindedly, often my habit when I am about to undertake lofty philosophical and mental explorations. I considered how well this semester was going. My grades were great, I was in the best shape of my life, and I had a wonderful thing going with two of the most intelligent, beautiful, and athletically gifted women on campus, plus their blessing to date other girls. They would do anything for me, and thanks to my only talent, I could make them come better than any other guy they knew. Life was good!
While I was being honest with myself, I should probably admit that I had already fallen in love with Lara and her tight little smile, and if I hadn't given Suzanne her pre-approved 'dump me for free' card, I would have already fallen head over heels for her, too. Peggy was so hot and made me feel so at ease that I could be happy with her for a long time, and Millie was surprisingly hot, and she was already having much the same effect on me that Lara did, and I could easily fall in love with her in about ten minutes. Life was really good!
I had to take a shower and get ready for a big party later tonight, possibly the most incredible party I had even been invited to, and I was going with three very hot women in some of the sexist costumes ever. Life was really, really, good!
Just before the bathroom door closed behind me, Millie poked her nose through and ambled on all fours next to me, sitting expectantly on my left with her face about a foot from my dick. She gave me that hot and haughty look, then stared at my dick hanging out over the toilet bowl and said "woof!" with a big smile on her face. Life was fucking incredible!
- COMMENTS
Anonymousalmost 12 years agoYour writing style is definitely improving! There are only two pieces of advice/nitpicks I have:
1. Please spend more time developing character dialogue. It helps if you script those conversations out ahead of time and practice them to find out how the conversation flows. (If you've ever seen the films of Kevin Smith -- Smith is a dialogue writer. Great stuff; it opened my eyes to the necessity for dialogue for the reader to identify with the characters.)
2. When you transition between narrative styles, or character viewpoints, you may want to signify this with either a font change (kind of hard on the eyes after a while, though), or a break line (even something as simple as '-----'). If you're already doing this and Literotica is removing those lines, I apologize -- and Literotica needs to stop doing that.
Otherwise, keep up the great work! For erotic fiction, this is good stuff.
