My Son In My Clothes Ch. 02

"Turn your back on me," I instructed.

I lowered my white tights and green panties to the floor. I slipped my shoes back on and walked in front of him.

"Here, you can wear these now," I said.

He looked at my worn tights and panties that I held in my hand. His eyes shot to mine and I could see how strange he found this now.

"Go on, I've just taken them off. That is what you like isn't it, wearing my worn underwear?"

He looked down again at the bundled up tights and panties.

"Put them on and we'll go and have lunch, you are making it by the way, Veronica."

I left my underwear in his trembling hand and went downstairs. Maybe this would make him stop and think. Maybe now that Kevin had come, he would be repulsed by the thought of wearing my underwear. It took him about 15 minutes to come downstairs. He stood in the doorway behind me as I pulled the wet washing out of the machine. I carried on ignoring him as I loaded the next set of clothes. I smiled to myself. At last my son was my son again. I didn't think he would wear my underwear. This was me hitting him hard, cruel to be kind, that sort of thing. I straightened up and pressed the button on the washing machine. I looked out of the kitchen window and took a deep breath. This was going to be a hard part too, but with his mother's help, Kevin would get over this silly fad. I opened my mouth to tell him things would be okay. The words never came out, not when I heard Kevin's high heels on the kitchen floor! I closed my eyes and then opened them.

Without turning round I said, "Right, I want a cheese and ham sandwich, getting cracking, Veronica."

Again I watched him from the chair as he moved round the kitchen. His movement was a little broken, and slow. I guess wearing his mum's slightly wet panties wasn't such a big turn on now! We ate in silence and he seemed very withdrawn. Hopefully he was thinking of just how sick this was now. Hopefully it would remain in his head for quiet a time. I know I said I was stubborn and I am, but that didn't stop me feeling sorry for him. But I was determined to carry on, until maybe he had another yell at me, or he broke down in tears, and then he might just see why I was doing this. If he did break down then I would cuddle him, I'm stubborn, not a bitch.

A cup of tea was put on the coffee table. I gave him a little smile.

"Thank you, Veronica," I said.

We sat watching telly for a while, again in silence.

"I realise why you are doing this," he mumbled.

I looked at him as he carried on watching the telly.

"Good, but I'm not trying to hurt you."

"I know, but why did you, um, jerk me off?"

He was looking at me now. His eyes were drilling into mine. For the first time in a while I felt uneasy. He knew why, I had explained it earlier, but now I found it hard to answer him. Was that my biggest mistake, should I have done that at all? Maybe I should have made him do it in front of me.

"Mum, did you like doing it?"

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm just trying to, well."

I jumped up and went to the kitchen. I grabbed some kitchen towel and wiped my tears away.

"Mum, it is okay, I didn't mean to make you cry."

I watched as his hand went on my shoulder. I saw the pink nail varnish on his finger nails.

"So what is your next plan? I've done everything you have said, and I have thought about things like you want me to. I like this, I like wearing girl's clothes, and I like wearing your clothes. Do you think this is easy for me?"

I shook my head.

"Good, because I cry most nights when you are sleeping, because I want to be normal, but this urge is always there under my skin, it won't go away. It grows constantly in my mind, and maybe I do want to grow tits more than I realise, don't hate me mum, please don't."

I was cuddling him now, and yes I felt like a right bitch. He brushed away his tears and took a deep breath.

"So what's next?" he asked.

I wiped my tears and grinned at him.

"Well I guess we need to fix your makeup. I've never seen you cry, not for ages," I mumbled.

I took him back upstairs and did a repair job. When I was finished he looked me in the eye.

"Mum, I'm serious, what else do you have planned to put me off?" he asked.

"Right then, we sit here and you explain to me everything you want from this. I'm talking about sex here, because I'm sure that is what this is about, do you understand?"

"You'll be shocked," he said, with a slightly nervous grin.

"Oh, I'm 39 years old, I've forgotten stuff that would make your toes curl, young lady."

We had another cup of tea and sat down in the lounge, Veronica on the couch, and me in the chair.

"So, what do you want to know?"

"I guess, um, we should go back to your fantasy men," I said.

"Okay, which one?" he mumbled.

"Well, let's start with school," I suggested.

He gulped a little, but then nodded. I wasn't going to make this easy for him. I considered his little speech earlier that had us both in tears. But I still wanted him to squirm, to think about what he was doing.

"Right so there you are at school. Veronica, we are talking about here, you are pretty, a virgin still, and alone in the class with Mr Driver. I guess you have that sort of a fantasy about him?"

He nodded.

"Okay, then tell me what happens in your fantasy?"

"Well, um, as you know, he is around 50, and quite fat."

"Yeah, that is why I felt quite shocked by him being on your list."

Kevin was going red a little.

"Well, he sort of grabs me, when we are alone, round, round my waist," he stammered.

"Carry on, I'm listening."

"God mum, this is hard."

"Carry on, what does he do next?"

"He puts his hand, up, up my skirt and touches my, p...."

"Pussy, go on you can say it."

"Yeah, my pussy, well, he sort of pushes me over the desk, and, and he rips my panties down. He, um, he, he, takes me, over the desk," he stammered again.

"Oh so it is not romantic then?"

He shook his head.

"So, does he have a big thick cock, and does he just rip it into you?"

I watched him gulp at his mother's forward talk.

"Yeah, because, because I tease him, with the other girls," he grunted.

"Lift your skirt, and show me, show me how much it turns you on."

"Mum, I can't, I," he stumbled.

"Do it, I jerked you off didn't I? I want to see how hard you get. Show me how it turns you on to be screwed by your teacher," I spat.

His trembling hands pulled his skirt up, and there was his erection.

"Well, that must be really good for you. Is he rough, does he call you a slut?"

"Yeah, he does," he whimpered.

"So does he make you suck his old cock? I would if I was him."

He was panting and groaning, his legs were twitching and he was bright red.

"Toss yourself off, go on. Pretend I'm him and I'm making you do it. I'm making you frig your hot little clit, while I maybe video it as I jerk my dick!"

His hand started pumping his dick through the tights and panties. I could see just how close he was to shooting.

"Right now imagine you are Kevin. You are wearing girl's clothes to school, and Mr Driver keeps you behind. You are a boy in girls clothes, the whole school laughs at you. Mr Driver pushes you over the desk he rips your panties down and sticks his hard dick right up your ass, because you haven't got a pussy."

"No mum, that isn't it," he grizzled.

"No because you are a boy, and Mr Driver would probably die of shock if you walked into his class dressed as Veronica. That was if you got that far? You would probably get beaten up and laughed at. And if Mr Driver did fuck your ass it would be so painful you would probably faint."

His hand had slowed now and his face was contorted with anguish.

"Mum, that isn't it, that isn't my fantasy," he squealed.

"No, that is the reality. That is what today is about. You are a boy, and if you want to be a girl this is what you will be faced with. Now get up stairs and clean up, and then come down as my son."

I went to the kitchen grabbing my bag from the floor on the way. My fingers were shaking and my heart was fluttering like hell. Hopefully now Kevin would come to his senses. I didn't know any other way than to break his fantasy right as he was shooting. Okay, maybe I'm a stubborn bitch, but I love my son. My shaking fingers lit the cigarette. I just hoped this would work, and I hadn't damaged him in some way.

20 minutes later I heard the door open. I turned round and there he was, or rather she was. He just stared at me with a determined look on his face. I closed my eyes and I knew what he meant. Standing in front of me as Veronica was his statement of intent, this was what he wanted, and now I had to rethink my plan. I was sure I had convinced him it was just a silly little infatuation. He stood upright and he seemed to be waiting to defend himself against anything I said.

"Oh Kevin, does this really mean that much to you? Can't you see what you are doing to me and your father by this?"

"Mum, I know today you have tried to stop this, even by helping me. But I guess it won't go away. I don't care what you tell dad. He can beat the crap out of me all night long, but it won't change how I feel."

His eyes were watering, and mine did too. I just stood looking at him for ages. Was I ever going to make him see sense, was he so determined to dress as a girl that no matter what I tried it wouldn't put him off? Maybe he was further on with this than I thought. Obviously he had spent ages thinking about this in one form or another. Had he drilled it into himself that this was what he really wanted? Finally I took a deep breath.

"Kevin, just how deeply have you thought about this?"

I closed my eyes again as he spoke the words I feared. I could feel the bitterness of defeat crawl through my body. I didn't have the energy to fight this anymore. Even my stubborn streak was giving up on me. I began thinking of all the things he would go through, my heart was bleeding for him. I wanted to magic him into a daughter and wipe everyone's memory for him. I wanted him to have always been my little girl, for him you understand, not me. My mind now seemed to be trying to find ways to help him. I didn't see the point in struggling against it now. I didn't know how the hell this was going to go. I wanted Kevin to be my son, but after all he had told me I knew he wanted to be my daughter. Could I battle against this, should I battle against this? His father was going to blow his top. I had to find some way to keep everyone happy.

"When did you decide?" I asked.

"Ages ago, I just didn't want to hurt your feelings. I'm not happy unless I'm dressed up, don't hate me, please?"

"I don't hate you, I love you. Jesus this is going to be hard on your father, and I'm still not really happy with this. Kevin, where do we go from here?"

He shrugged his shoulders, but his face lifted when he realised what I had said.

"Don't get the wrong idea, I don't like this. If I could find away to make you change your mind I would, and I'll still search for something to try and make you see how bloody difficult this will be, for you as well as everyone else. I guess you are as stubborn as I am."

He nodded.

"Well, we should keep this to ourselves for the time being. I definitely don't want your father to know about this yet, and like I said, I want to change your mind if I can find a way."

He grabbed my hand in his.

"Does this mean you'll help me, a little?" he asked softly.

"Oh Kevin, I just want to be able to come home knowing who I am going to bump into. You will only dress like this when I say, and only when your father is away, am I making that clear enough?"

I just hoped I was doing the right thing here. In the back of my head something was still telling me he would grow out of this. That was what the doctor said in the first place, but me being me I just had to go blundering in.

"Well, I guess you should wash up," I said.

He gave me a cute little half frightened smile. I sat on the kitchen chair as he washed up. He knew I was watching him. He even put a cup of tea down in front of me without being asked, and he started to wipe up the dishes! I watched him moving around the kitchen. Several times he pushed one of his golden locks behind his ear. I watched his earrings glinted in sunlight and banged on his neck. Bloody hell, he looked too pretty to be a boy already! We spent the next hour baking cakes. He turned his nose up at first, but he sort of got into it. We went to the lounge and started to watch something on telly. That was when the doorbell went, and I don't know who jumped out of their skin more.