My Wife The Assassin

My name is Brett. I'm 28 years old and married. My wife and I live in a nice two-story house in Reno, Nevada. Sounds pretty normal so far, right? Well, it's about to get abnormal. My wife is a professional assassin.

Her name is Deborah and she's the most extraordinary woman I've ever known. She's everything I've ever wanted in a woman - confident, smart, beautiful, powerful, athletic, and feminine. I consider myself the luckiest guy in the world to be married to her.

Debbie is 32 years old, but looks more like 25 - when she's in her "normal" look, anyway. (As a professional killer, she often plays different roles to get close to her target, and she can play anything from a ditzy 18-year-old girl to a 40-year-old soccer mom). She has long brown hair that goes down to the middle of her back, blue eyes, an elegant and high-cheekboned face, and a deep, healthy tan. Her long muscular legs, slim waist with six-pack abs, medium-sized and steel-hard ass, and ultra-toned arms all drive me wild. At 5'10" and 140 pounds, she towers over my 5'6", 135-pound frame, especially when she wears her knee-high black leather boots with razor-sharp four inch high heels.

People do stare at us when we're out in public. I guess they assume the only reason a woman like her would want a guy like me is that I'm a rich guy. But I'm not. I'm an IT specialist for a small company, and I make about 50 grand a year. Debbie makes much more than that with her... line of work. Depending on what kind of contracts she gets, she can pull in anything from half a million to 1.5 million a year, and all of it tax-free. It's her money that's allowed us to pay cash for our house, buy expensive cars, go on Hawaiian vacations, etc.

So our relationship is almost completely non-traditional. My wife is taller than me, stronger than me, makes more money than me, is more comfortable with violence than me, and is even older than me. A lot of guys - dumb guys - would let that intimidate them and make them feel insecure. But I don't feel insecure at all. I mean, come on. I'm married to a beautiful, athletic, smart, rich woman. What guy with a functioning brain wouldn't want that?

Now, just so there are no misconceptions: Do I still find myself in awe of her capabilities, even after knowing her for years? Yes, I do. Does she usually take the lead during sex? Absolutely, and we both like it that way. But do we have one of those weird relationships where she pushes me around or humiliates me or makes me do shit like eat bugs or wear women's clothes? Definitely not. We have a passionate and healthy love for each other based on mutual respect, and though she's strong enough to easily hurt me, she would never do that. We occasionally play sex games where she ties me up and spanks me, but we both strongly believe that that kind of activity should be restricted to the bedroom. At any rate, if we got too weird it might lead to attention from the neighbors, and as a professional assassin Debbie certainly doesn't want that.

So why would a woman who could have any man she wanted get involved with a guy like me? Well, in the first place, we have a symbiotic relationship. Sometimes she needs someone with expert computer skills to help track down a target. That's where I come in. And the hacking experience I get from tracking Debbie's future victims helps me in my work, enabling me to better prevent hacker attacks on my company's network.

Also, most guys don't know the proper way to react around a woman like Debbie, and she hates that. When they found out the full range of her physical capabilities, most of the guys she dated would either become insecure and withdrawn, get aggressive and try to out-macho her (they always failed), or start acting like she was a dominatrix for hire and offer to humiliate themselves. While she enjoys being dominant, she also wanted a stable long-term relationship that had more meaning than just S&M sex.

We are quite different from each other. In addition to what I've already mentioned, Debbie is amazingly athletic. She was a three-sport varsity athlete in high school, on the softball, volleyball, and gymnastics teams. She's excellent at doing back flips despite her height. She also received a full softball scholarship to the college of her choice. I, on the other hand, have never been good at sports. When I played baseball with the other neighborhood kids as a boy, the two team captains would do rock-paper-scissors to see who would pick first, and whichever captain lost would invariably moan, "Oh, no! I'm stuck with Brett!" And when I had completed the mandatory two years of physical education in high school, I remember jumping for joy.

But we have some similar interests too. We both enjoy traveling, going to hockey games, reality TV shows, and science fiction. And at the end of the day, at least in our case, opposites do attract. How did we meet? Well, that's material for another story.

My wife has turned one of the smaller upstairs bedrooms into what's basically her secret assassin room. Pretty much anything related to her kills, she keeps in there. She's told me not to go in there for my own safety. If, God forbid, I'm ever captured and interrogated by her enemies, I can't tell them what I don't know. She also keeps quite an arsenal in there. I only see the weapons when she brings them out, but at various times I've seen an assault rifle, a submachine gun, Lara Croft-style twin pistols, a sniper rifle, a samurai sword, twin throwing daggers, and a crossbow. Though most of the weapons in the house are locked up in the arsenal, my wife does keep a pistol in the drawer next to her side of the bed, and a shotgun in the closet, just in case something happens. She's taught me how to shoot and I'm sad to say that I'm quite bad at it. I can hit the broad side of a barn, but the narrow side might give me some trouble. Debbie, on the other hand, is an excellent markswoman. She can easily nail a head shot on a target from 500 yards.

I work regular nine-to-five hours, but my wife is home most of the time. She generally does about one hit a month. Because of her excellent reputation, she doesn't take small jobs and can afford not to. Every contract she takes pays a minimum of fifty thousand dollars, and most pay more than that. She has something of a regular cycle. She spends a few days researching various offers, and after careful investigation she selects a contract. She then spends several days researching every little detail about her target and planning out exactly how she's going to do her mission. If she needs computer help tracking him (they're usually male) down I come in at that point. When she has everything she needs, she goes off on the actual mission. Sometimes she's gone for six hours, sometimes six days. After her mission is accomplished she spends the rest of the month relaxing at home, the beach, the spa, etc. Sometimes I join her for vacations at this time, though not often because I only get two weeks of vacation a year. When the next month rolls around, the cycle starts all over again. Some months she declares a 'vacation month' and simply spends the whole time relaxing.

Quarter past five on a Friday afternoon. Finally home for the weekend. I pulled my silver Lexus (courtesy of my wife's money, of course) into the driveway. Debbie's black BMW still wasn't there. She had left on Tuesday on one of her missions.

I turned on my cell phone to see if any calls had come in while I had been driving. My heart leapt with excitement when I found a message from my wife, saying she'd be home in a few hours. She generally doesn't call me while away until her mission is completed. After she comes back from an assignment, we go out to a fancy restaurant to celebrate, then come back to the house to celebrate with sex. Our sex life is great all the time, but it's by far the best right after she's returned from a kill. She's feeling aggressive, dominant, and powerful, and that gets her in the mood more than anything.

I made myself a ham sandwich to keep my stomach satisfied until we went out to dinner, then grabbed a book and plopped down on the couch. Around eight, the doorbell rang and I eagerly jumped up. Debbie walked in, looking beautiful as always. She was wearing black leather pants, a tight black T-shirt that showed off the outline of her small, firm, perky 36B breasts, and black leather gloves. Her tanned, muscular arms looked great and her long brown hair, which was wild and loose, added to her female warrior image. She greeted me with a long, aggressive kiss.

"Welcome home, Debbie," I said when we finally pulled apart. "All went well?"

"Went great. One more scumbag taken out of commission permanently, one more notch on my belt. How have you been?"

"Same old, same old. Spent about half my time bailing out people at work after they forgot their passwords and locked themselves out of their own computers."

Debbie tossed her wild hair and laughed, playfully pinching me on the ass. "I'll go change quickly, then let's go out. I had to hitch a ride on a cargo plane if I didn't want to wait till tomorrow to get back here. No food service on there. On the way over on Tuesday the private jet came complete with a flight attendant who served me lunch." She picked up the duffel bag she had taken with her, her arm muscles rippling as she did so. As she swept upstairs, I saw that she was wearing a dagger on each well-developed hip, and the long case she wore over her shoulder undoubtedly carried her sniper rifle.

She came back downstairs three minutes later. She was now wearing a long, sleeveless red dress with a slit on one side. Her hair was piled up in an elegant bun. She looked equally beautiful as a tomboyish warrior or a feminine lady. "I'm wearing flats tonight," she said. "I won't look too much taller than you this time."

As we sipped red wine at our favorite Italian restaurant, I looked into my wife's deep blue eyes. "So, sweetie, how much can you tell me about this one? It turns me on so much to hear about your kills."

Debbie gave me that heart-melting smile of hers. "Nothing too spectacular this time. He was a mid-level guy in a drug ring. There was a contract on him for $100,000, though, so I took it. I sniped him - it was only about 300 yards, so it was an easy shot. But on the way out I bumped into two of his bodyguards who had been spread out to watch for danger. That's where my daggers came in handy. Their pieces ended up in two different dumpsters."

"Wow," I said. "I'd call that pretty spectacular."

She laughed. "You think all of my kills are."

"Well, they are." I put my hand on hers. Looking down at our forearms positioned next to each other, I couldn't help noticing the differences between them. Mine was pale, with no real muscle definition, while her forearm was darkly tanned and had prominent veins and heavily developed, well-defined muscles. Her wrist was bigger than mine - she had playfully commented on it once and we had measured them.

"I wish I could come with you on a mission sometime," I said. "I'd love to see you in action up close and personal."

She leaned her head against mine. "As much as I'd enjoy your companionship, you know I can't let you do that. It would be too dangerous. I feel responsible for protecting you and if anything ever happened to you I'd spend the rest of my life blaming myself."

"I know. I understand. I just like imagining how exciting and fun it would be." I sighed. She moved in and kissed me.

After an excellent dinner, we headed out to the parking lot. Just as we reached the black BMW, Debbie suddenly pushed me to the ground, shouting, "GET DOWN!" A split second later, several bullets went through the air space my chest had previously been occupying. They slammed into the BMW's left rear window, shattering it.

Two men were standing at the edge of the parking lot, both armed with submachine guns. Debbie had already reached underneath her dress and whipped out a small pistol, which she had been wearing strapped to her thigh. More bullets were sprayed at us, some only missing by inches. My wife fired two expertly aimed shots, one nailing one man right in his forehead and the other hitting the other guy in the arm. As his companion's corpse slumped to the asphalt, the second man screamed in pain, dropping his weapon and clutching his wounded arm.

She tossed me the keys. "Start the car!" Trying to snap myself out of the state of shock I was in, I managed to stand up and open the driver's door. My body was still shaking. Debbie, too well-disciplined and used to violence to have a freak-out, raced toward the injured man, doing a roundoff followed by a series of back handsprings in his direction. As she elegantly backflipped at him, he wasted precious seconds staring at this image of athletic, feminine beauty, amazed that a girl could do back handsprings in a long dress. He finally began reaching for his gun, but it was too late. Debbie had been much too quick for him. She crashed into him on her last backflip, knocking him to the ground, while she landed perfectly on her feet. She bent down and knocked him out with a swift karate chop to his neck.

I had managed to get the car started by this time. My wife motioned for me to drive it over. I did so and she opened the rear door. Picking up the unconscious man, she tossed him into the back seat. He was a medium-sized guy and she was able to handle his weight easily. She jumped in after him. "Now go! Fast!"

I raced out of the parking lot with a squeal of tires. As I drove off, I saw in the rearview mirror that several people were coming out of the restaurant, hands over their mouths as they saw the dead body.

"Thank you for saving my life," I said. In the rearview mirror, I saw her smile.

"Now what?" I asked. My heart rate had declined somewhat since the shooting, but it was still well above normal.

"Take us out of town, out into the desert. I need to interrogate this fucker to see who put him and his buddy up to it." She looked behind her. Satisfied that no one was following the car, she added, "That was some excitement right there."

Remembering what I had said in the restaurant, I suddenly felt guilty. Debbie must have sensed what I was thinking, because she said, "You have nothing to feel bad about. You had no way of knowing that was going to happen." I felt better immediately.

About fifteen minutes later, she said, "This is far enough." I pulled over and turned off the engine. Debbie pulled out the thug, who was just regaining consciousness, and threw him onto the dirt.

"You may want to step away," she told me. "Things could get brutal if he refuses to talk."

"It's okay, I'll stay."

She forced the would-be assassin into a kneeling position. He was awake by now and glared at her, then at me. I shivered in fear as his angry eyes focused in my direction. I was very glad my wife was out here with me.

Debbie reached under her dress and pulled out her pistol. Pointing it at the man, she said, "It's very simple. Tell me what I want to know and I won't shoot you, or refuse and I will shoot you. Your call."

"I ain't telling you nothing, bitch," the thug growled.

Her face remained expressionless. That seemed to frighten him more than an angry expression would have. He talked tough, but was trembling with fear inside.

Debbie suddenly rammed her knee into his face. Blood sprayed out from the impact. Some of it landed on her dress, which luckily was red and matched the color. Her model-like face still showed no emotion as he cried out in pain. She kneed his face again. More blood and another shriek of pain.

"Every time I hit you, I'm doing more damage," she said calmly. "Soon the damage will be permanent and irreversible. I suggest you start talking before then."

She began raising her knee.

"Wait!" he cried out. "If I talk, do you swear you won't shoot me?"

"You have my word of honor," she answered.

"Okay, I'll talk! Someone put a bounty on YOUR head. Two million dollars."

She smiled slightly and glanced over at me. "Well! I had no idea I was worth that much." She turned back to the thug. "Who put the bounty out?"

"I don't know."

"Wrong answer." She began raising her knee again.

"Wait! Please! I swear I don't know! He's not going to tell who he is, he's too smart for that! It was over the Internet, completely anonymous!"

"All right. Tell me the details."

"I have a printout of the email he sent me in my pocket. That's all I got from him."

"Take it out. Slowly." She aimed her gun at his forehead to enforce her point. Shaking with fear, the man obeyed.

My wife motioned for me to approach. Normally I would have been nervous about getting close to a guy who was likely a trained killer, but I could see that she had him completely under control.

She handed me the paper. "Can you trace this email?"

I looked at it. "I think so."

"Good." Debbie turned back to the failed assassin. "That means we don't need you anymore, and that means it's time for you to die."

"Wait! No!" he protested. "You gave me your word of honor that you wouldn't shoot me!"

"I know. I'm keeping my promise. I'm going to kill you with my knee." With that, she rammed her knee into him again, but aimed a little lower this time. Her knee impacted the underside of his chin with such force that it snapped his neck backward, breaking it with a sharp CRACK. The dead body slumped to the desert floor.

My wife looked at the dead body dispassionately, while I looked at it with wide eyes. Slipping her pistol back underneath her dress, she came close and held me affectionately. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, honey. Thanks to you. You were amazing, once again. You seem so fearless."

"I'm not. I'm human like you and there are things that scare me. But not that guy. He was just a small-time thug." She held me tighter. I loved this girl who could go from brutal killer to loving wife in just a few seconds.

"Our home may not be safe," Debbie said when we finally pulled apart. "Let's check into a hotel." She got behind the wheel of her BMW. I got into the seat beside her and we drove off, leaving the dead body for the vultures.

"Just one quick stop before we go to the hotel," said my wife as she drove. "Luckily we're already out here in the desert." I was puzzled as she drove down a series of dirt roads, then came to a stop by two large boulders. Midway between them was a smaller rock. She went over and lifted it, revealing that it was a fake rock covering a chest. With a key from her large keyring, she unlocked it.

"One of my secret stashes," she explained. "I knew that someday we might get into a situation where I couldn't access my main arsenal in the house."

I peered into the chest. Inside were a mini-Uzi submachine gun, a 9mm pistol, a crossbow, several spare magazines of ammunition, and a quiver of steel crossbow bolts. There were also MREs, assorted breakfast bars, bottles of water, and a small, locked box. She unlocked the box with yet another key from the large keyring. Inside this one were half a dozen wads of $100 bills, two tubes filled with gold Krugerrands, and two more tubes of silver dollars.

I stared at my wife. "Debbie, you never told me..."

"Sorry, Brett. I guess I should have told you." She stroked my cheek. "Forgive me?"

"Of course I do." I touched my forehead with hers. I had to stand on my toes to do it, as she was taller.

"Thanks, sweetie." She turned back to the chest and removed all the weapons and ammo. "We'll leave the food and water here, and the gold and silver too. A different kind of situation might come someday when we'll need those. We have all our credit cards, but just to be safe I'll take half of this cash out." She slipped three of the six wads of bills into a convenient dress pocket, then locked the small box and the chest again and put back the fake rock.