tagRomanceNever Say Goodbye

Never Say Goodbye


Copyright Neonurotic, August 2011

The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons.


"Are you sure?" Kash asked, taking a swig of champagne straight from the bottle. "Because I can drive." Teasing her, he gave her a wide mischievous grin, knowing that he was too drunk and not capable of driving them home. "Really."

"Sure you are, silly," Lily laughed, wrapped her arms around his waist, and nipped his chin before she kissed him. "Give me those keys." She reached into his front pants pocket.

Up close, kissing her, he caught the scent of her rose attar perfume. "Mmm, baby," he set the bottle on top of the top of the car, and pulled her closer letting her ride his thigh. "You start that now and we'll never get home." He growled, crushing his stirred erection into her vee.

A perfect fit—Lily Devereaux was his, literally. Tomorrow afternoon, she'd marry him and be Mrs. Corbell. It would be a strange day; some would even say that Hell had frozen over because that was what he had sworn it would take for him settle down with one woman. A few short months ago, to him, monogamous rhymed with monotonous for a reason, and marriage just wasn't an answer to any sort of questions he had ever asked before.

Words like "cynical" and "broody" summed up his character, however, when Lily breezed into his studio a mere seven months ago, she changed him. From the start, the strawberry blond captured his attention, and held it the day she sat for him. By the end of the session, he had memorized every intimate curve of her bare honey-glazed skin with his charcoals, and pastels on canvas. Every day thereafter, he fell deeper in love with his muse, all of which showed in his work. She had given soul to his art.

"The quicker you let me drive you home," her free hand dipped down the front of his jeans, and stroked the length of his cock. She palmed the head, squeezed it until he groaned in pleasure. "The faster you and I can be tucked in bed, taking care of this."

Reluctantly, he pulled away, "Deal." He fished the car keys out of his pocket, handed them over and retrieved the bottle he placed on top of the car. "You drive... I'll get drunker."

Once inside the car, Lily laughed, breathy, and melodious. "Kash, honey," she turned the engine over while stepping on the gas a few times, revving it before she backed out the parking space, and out of the lot. "I don't think it's possible for you to be drunker than you already are." It began to mist, which quickly turned into pelting drops. She switched the windshield wipers on high speed.

"Oh, I can but I don't think you want me to." He said laughingly, noticing the interior lights from the driving panel cast a low glow on her beautiful face, making her seem other worldly, ethereal. As intoxicated as he was, his artistic eye brushed over the curves of her pout. He wanted to kiss her and never stop. "I'd pass out. You'd have to drag me into the house."

"I'd leave you in the car and take advantage of you where you were."

"Well, truth be told, you can't really take advantage of the willing," he wagged his eyebrows, even though she couldn't see him in the dark. He drank the rest of the champagne and tossed the bottle in the backseat. The car took a jolt to the side as one of the tires left the road. "Hey, careful there. We want to get home in one piece." He teased her, now wondering about her driving capability.

Had she drank more than he thought? Maybe I should've called for a cab, he thought as a deer leapt out of the forest's dense undergrowth onto the road in front of them. For a moment, everything was crystal. All he could think of was how magnificent the deer was with its eight point, set of antlers as Lily jerked the steering wheel to the right side of the road to avoid him. The car left the road where they narrowly missed a massive cedar tree but crashed into the top edge of an embankment instead. The passenger door popped open, and Kash, without his seat belt on, was ejected from the car. He slammed the back of his head against the door as he flew out. The last he saw was Lily's face twisted in horror as the car tipped into the water-filled ravine. He hit his head again; this time against the 'just missed' tree, and saw nothing more.

# # #

Underwater, tranquil and calm, he lazily floated downstream, smiled at Lily who held his hand as they went along. She whispered a story to him, which he struggled to hear. He asked her to speak louder but she only spoke lower. Her story telling turned urgent and the stream became turbulent. Panic gripped him as he realized she wasn't telling a story at all, but choking, and drowning instead—calling him to save her.

Lily screamed, "Help me, help me, WAKE UP!"

Shaken, now suddenly aware, no longer stuck in a nightmare, Kash listened to the sounds that surrounded him. The blip, blip of a monitor, the antiseptic smells of rubbing alcohol, iodine, and bleach told him where he was—in a hospital. The accident, he thought fuzzily; his eyes flew open, worried about Lily. If he was lying in bed, what happened to her? He tried to sit up, but found that he was too weak to do so. Am I paralyzed? He wondered, moving his hands, and feet to check, relieved to see he could move. He glanced around, found the call button, and pressed it. Seconds later, a nurse appeared, smiling.

"Oh, Mr. Corbell, I am so glad you woke up on my shift!" The nurse exclaimed. "We've been waiting ever so long for you to come back to us."

"Is Lily here at the hospital too?" He asked, seeing the nurse's face turn white at this question. Afraid, his heart thumped wildly in his chest. "Where is she?"

"I-I shouldn't b-be the one to tell you." The nurse stammered.

"Tell me what?" He tried to get out the bed, seeing a worried look cross her brow. "Oh God, tell me!"

"Now, Mr. Corbell please settle down, don't leave your bed. You're not ready to do that yet. Your doctor is on his way and he will explain everything." She busied herself with what he supposed was his medical chart. "I am sorry."

Kash glared at her, "Sorry about what?"

"Iris," said a boyish looking man who wore a white coat over a sloppy set of blue surgical scrub clothes. "Please get Mr. Corbell a pitcher of ice water will you?"

"Sure, Dr. Franklin." The nurse replied, giving Kash a sympathetic look before leaving the room. "I'm glad you're awake."

"Where is Lily?" Kash posed the same question to the doctor.

"Mr. Corbell, you and Miss Devereaux were in car accident nearly seven months ago. You've been in and out of a coma due to a head injury."

"Seven months? What happened to Lily?"

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but Lily Devereaux didn't survive the accident."

If he had not just woken from a long coma, he surely would've passed out because in that exact moment, it felt like every artery, vein, and capillary that carried blood instantly froze. His heart stopped and so did his whole world.

# # #

Sweat dripped down the middle of his back and threatened to roll elsewhere, but he mopped it up with the tail of his T-shirt. One more set of eight with the cable pulleys was all he had left to do for his right deltoid, except his shoulder already screamed for him to quit. Quit? What a joke, he thought with sarcasm, pushing air through gritted teeth as he shrugged the bar of the pulley forward, and moved it across his chest.

After four months of physical therapy, it still took a lot of effort to do the exercises designed to make him strong again. The recovery after the coma was a long and extremely painful one as he learned how to walk all over again. What made it more difficult was the fact that he had stopped caring about himself, everyone, and everything around him. The love of his life was dead and so was he inside.

On the last repetition, his arm shook uncontrollably, "Damn," he released the pulley; letting the weights clatter noisily together. "That's it. That's all I can do."

"Kash, you did the whole routine without resting or giving up!" Holly, his physical therapist exclaimed with much enthusiasm while she placed an icepack on his shoulder. "That is a lot of improvement, I'm so proud of you."

"Ya, ya, ya. So you say that now," he said, rolling his eyes at her, "But that still won't buy me an easier routine next time, now will it?"

"No. I am afraid not, but it does give one less day of torture with me." She grinned, but with a definite note of sadness in her blue eyes as she had a mad crush on him. "How about that for a reward?"

"Nothing personal, but that sounds great to me." he grimaced, adjusting the icepack.

Holly took the pack, "Too much ice?" She opened the flannel over-wrap of the pack and removed a few ice cubes from the bag. She popped one cube into her mouth, tossed the others in the trash, and wrapped the pack again. "Sometimes the ice edges can be too sharp," she said slurring around the ice cube in her mouth while replacing the pack back on his shoulder. "You just have to have fewer cubes or melt the ice a little to fit the curve," she flirted.

Almost from the start of his treatment program, she had rehabilitated more than his arms and legs. Kash mourned the loss of Lily and felt nothing for Holly other than just a friendly patient-therapist relationship, but still, he was a man; she appealed to that part of him that wasn't dead. Since he still loved Lily, he kept the emotional aspect out of their arrangement by giving and receiving pleasure by hand or oral means. Holly had accepted his wishes because she understood how he felt, although he suspected she was waiting for the day he would let Lily go.

Staring at the ice cube between her lips, he replied, "And you certainly know how to melt my hard edges, don't you?"

"I think I've made it routine enough that you fit nicely in the curve of my mouth." She knelt between his open knees and nuzzled the crotch of his pants, dripping ice cold water onto his stiffening cock. She unknotted his drawstring, tugged on his pants, and shimmied them down his thighs. "You're not wearing shorts, Kash. I think my treatment plan needs to vary so my blowjobs won't be expected rewards." She smiled wickedly, fisting his engorged prick, and started pumping it.

"Aww, damn, that feels good," he groaned.

"You have such a gorgeous cock," she cooed. "I just love it."

A rush of pleasure surged through his groin, anticipating her blowjob as she bent lower, stuck out her tongue, and lashed all over the fat purple head of his cock. With the ice cube still in her mouth, the sensation of hot and cold made him snort with excitement. His cock throbbed, oozed a clear slick of personal lubricant at the end of it. He watched as she eagerly went for the slippery droplets, spearing him with the pointed tip of her tongue.

"Ya, yes, lick it up." Wanting the feel of her cherry red lips on him now, he shivered and asked between ragged gasps, "H-how... ah ya, how do like it the taste?"

"I like it a lot," she moaned.

Holly licked her lips, opened her mouth and sucked on the first inch of his cock, swirling her tongue around the head. He groaned and fed her more. She took it all then, drew in her cheeks, and started to slurp and started to slurp his cock using loud, wet strokes. Her lips stretched over his heavy cock and pressed hard as she slipped along the length of him. Switching rhythm, she only let the mushroom-head in her mouth and sucked a few good inches in rapid speed, making him spasmodically lift his hips up to greet her until she took him all the way down to the base, with her nose in his short pubic hair.

"Oh, Jesus," he shifted so that she had better access to his balls, which she rolled on her fingertips. "Yeah, that's it, baby," he watched her blowing him and she gazed back at him, seemingly grinning while she got him off. "Oh, yeah."

Together they worked, he flexing his hips in time with her sucking. Harder and faster, she twirled her tongue around him as she drew on him. She brought him to orgasm in no time flat; caused him to slam his eyes shut, and freeze for a moment, enjoying the sensation. He let out a deep groan and came with strong jerky movements, panting with the effort. Finished, he opened his eyes again and saw her cheeks were bulged-out, mocking him. It was almost embarrassing how fast he came with her blowjobs. She raised a mischievous, triumphant eyebrow before she gulped down his hot thick load.

"Yummy," she smiled wickedly. "My turn and I want multiples."

"Definitely," he returned her grin, but just as he pulled her to her feet, an elderly man, her next patient, walked in. "Damn!" He jumped to dress.

"Hey," she stepped in front to shield him so he could pull himself together. "Mr. Tanner, you're early."

"Not early enough, or so it seems." Mr. Tanner replied, winking suggestively.

Now dressed, Kash made a move to leave. "See you next week?"

"Mm, yes, that sounds good." Holly said all business-like then leaned in to say, "I'll clear my schedule and give you the afternoon." She whispered, lips brushing against his ear.

"You do that." Kash laughed as he left, passing the old man.

Mr. Tanner leered, "If I were fifteen years younger. . ."

You'd still be a dirty old man, Kash thought, laughing aloud.

Without a second glance, he left the office, crossed the lobby, and let the automatic door slide open for him because his arms felt too tired after the workout. As he got into his car, he decided he'd stop by his agent's, Meghan Parson's office. He'd go there stinking—that would teach her a lesson Lately, she'd been harassing him to see her, and to paint, even though he was explicit about not being ready. He didn't think he ever would be again.

Thoughts of his lost Lily sent him into a brooding funk. He wasn't paying attention to how heavy-footed he was on the gas pedal. The car sped along, careening at breakneck speeds. It was much too fast for the snaky two-lane highway that curved in and out of the mountainside of the coastline. It was dangerous to do, yes, he knew that full well, but he didn't care. He hadn't cared about many things since the accident. It was too painful to think of opening the door to his studio where Lily had sat for him, lounging about, and inspiring. With his muse gone, he no longer had the desire to sketch, let alone pick up his pastels. He wondered if he would ever paint again and it worried him—it was his life's work, what life would be worth living without love or work?

The view to the left of him was nothing but cliff side and the Pacific Ocean. Far below, the water gleamed like diamonds in the afternoon sun. He had painted the view on several occasions, like he did the much photographed rock formation, 'Haystack Rock' that came into view around the bend. Faster down highway 101, his black BMW coupe went until the turn off for downtown, where Meghan's office was located. The small city of Cannon Beach, Oregon was a tourist town with picture perfect wood shingle beach houses and little shops lining both sides of main street. It was both beautiful and outrageously expensive. Every day, his empty home was a reminder of what life could've been like if he had only called a cab instead of letting Lily drive so many months ago.

Once in town, he found a parking space in front of his agent's small office building. He glanced at the sign on the curb that said parking after 5:00 pm was free. It was forty-five minutes prior to free time, but he ignored the sign, and went upstairs to the side office. However tastefully decorated, Meghan's office was understated. The few art pieces on her walls were his paintings. He knew one of his biggest fans was his agent, which made for a perfectly successful, nine-year old business partnership.

"Meghan will see you in a moment, Kash," said Frank, Meghan's assistant. "Would you like something to drink? Coffee, tea, cola, water?"

"No, I'm fine," Kash smiled. "Thank you." He went to the large floor-to-ceiling picture window that showed the view of the tall beach grass and a little strip of dark blue ocean.

"Hey there handsome," said Meghan, entering the waiting area. "I was just thinking of you, I'm so glad you stopped by." She held her arms out, gesturing that she expected him to do so in return.

Not really the touchy-feely type, but still comfortable with his agent, Kash hesitated only for a moment and smiled warmly. "Hello, Meg." He hugged her.

"Ew, you smell!" She exclaimed, pulling away from him.

Chuckling, "Yeah, I do," he grinned wider, playfully. "I just finished my physical therapy and thought I share my hard work with you."

"Nice. That's very thoughtful of you, Kash." Laughing, she stepped further away from him. "Why don't you come on in," indicating her office with a sweep of her hand.

Meghan led the way and sat behind her ultra-modern desk that was nothing more than tubular metal supports and a black glass tabletop. His agent's personality was her actual inner office space. The waiting area was what she wanted others to think of her. At the head of Meghan's office was a black charcoal nude he had done. It was a side view of Lily's torso, left leg, and arm with a part of her graceful neck. Everyone walked into her office was drawn to the art, as it was both elegant and commanding at the same time. The sketch was one of the last few of her and each time he saw it, his heart hurt.

"I'm glad you stopped by rather than just calling in. I'd like to see how you're doing in person, face to face." Meghan smiled, except her forehead creased, belying the real concern she held for him. "And you do look good. Smelly, but good."

"Manly," he corrected her cheekily. "You mean I smell manly."

"Kash, my dear, you stink." She laughed, teasing him, though shifted in her seat and seriousness set in her eyes. "We have to discuss something that is important to both our futures."

Here it goes again, he thought ruefully. She was going to hound him. "Meghan, I'm just not ready."

"When? When are you going to be ready? She asked, with gentle firmness. "Have you tried?"

"No," he stared at the charcoal sketch behind his agent. Sadness and a sudden air of annoyance tinged his next words, "I don't think I can and what's more, I don't think I want to."

"Don't say that," she said, moving around her desk to stroke his arm, delivering sympathy.

"Have you ever thought that going back to work could help you?" She patted his shoulder. "Ease your pain?"

Still staring at the black on white art piece, he swallowed hard against the knot that formed there. "I-I, uh haven't." He rested his eyes on the sketch where he stopped etching at Lily's jaw line, below her ear—where he had whispered countless times that he loved her. "I need to paint, don't I?"

"Yes, Kash. Paint something."

"Anything?" Now hopeful as 'anything' didn't necessarily mean he had to sketch the human form, which would remind him of his loss. "Because it is not likely I can go back to what I did before."

"Yes anything. Trees, birds, ocean scenes, as long as you're painting again!" She crowed with genuine delight.

"Then, that's what I will do, I promise." Feeling rather nervous with her reaction and enthusiasm, he wondered whether or not if he could make good. "I'll show you what I come up with next week." As a 'thank you', he took her hand and squeezed it gently. "You're the best." He left her office, smiling.

# # #

Meghan watched after him, hoping that she stirred her client and friend to go back to work as both of their futures depended on the next sale of his art. It wasn't all business, heaven knows, even though her bank account was furiously approaching a balance of zero, she was also worried about Kash's well being too. His recklessness was alarming—a sure sign that she'd soon read of his death in the Cannon Beach Gazette.

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