Niki & Sean

Most incest stories don't do anything for me because they sound so fake. Some of the stories do seem real, for which I'm grateful, because I've needed for a couple of years to process this stuff between me and my younger brother. I hope writing here will help me get some perspective on all this.

So here goes. My first name is Nicole but everyone just calls me Niki. I'm 21 and going to college -- somewhere. I have a good brain and people say I'm nice to be around. Physically, I'm 5'6", a bit thin, with light brown hair that I hate to cut. I have greenish eyes and fairly regular features. I've been told by friends and by guys my own age that I'm good-looking, but I know I'm not stunning or anything like that. A boyfriend once said I look like a pixie, which he seemed to think was okay. I play tennis and swim a lot, so I'm fairly strong and don't have much body fat.

My personal behavior for the most part falls within the norm (I hope). I'm not a virgin but I've never been very active sexually, since AIDS scares me to death and I want to lead a good, reasonably long life.

Well let me get right down to it. What I need to write about is my brother Sean. I'm totally obsessed.

Sean goes to a different school from me, a few hundred miles away. He's 20 now and a classic "nice guy," the sort that other boys' moms wish they had: stays out of trouble, plays sports, studies hard. He competes in school swim meets, so you can probably visualize the kind of long, lean body he has. He would have no problem getting dates, only he's kind of on the shy side. I hope someday he gets over that.

I also have a little sister Sam (she's almost 18 now), who wants to be just like me for some reason. That's it for the family. Mom has dates sometimes, mostly with men from where she works, but there's nobody of the male persuasion steady in her life, at least not that I know of. Dad left our household years ago; he lives in California. I spent my last summer vacation and last year's school vacations with him and he wasn't drinking for the first time I can remember. He did go to a lot of AA meetings, which made me happy. He said he got a lot of stuff worked out in his life by writing about it after he got sober, which is one reason I'm writing this. Maybe writing about it will help me too.

The beginning of the events I'm writing about happened a couple of years ago in June. Sean had just turned 18 and I had been 19 for a couple of months.

A couple weeks before, Sean had gotten into a losing argument with a car while riding his bicycle. It wasn't the driver's fault, since Sean had just barreled out into the street in front of him at full tilt. The bike was killed dead, a total wreck. Sean, was hurt but nothing life theatening. His arms were broken in a couple of places, plus a couple of ribs cracked and a broken collar bone. He had a little trauma to one of his kidneys but that healed fairly quickly, and assorted deep bruises. The thing we were all thankful for was that he got out of it alive of course, but also without serious head or spinal injuries. Still, He looked bad all banged up like that and I knew he was really hurting.

When Sean got home from the hospital he was all wrapped up in bandages across his chest and had immobilizing casts on both arms. I remember how those two big guys set him up in that rented hospital bed in his room. He was all hooked up to ropes and pulleys that held his arms slightly elevated to accelerate healing, I guess. The poor guy was completely helpless and had to be taken care of all the time. Mostly Mom did all the work, but I helped out as much as I could.

I felt really sorry for Sean, having to be fed and bathed and use a bedpan and everything. I just couldn't imagine having to use a bedpan. In a hospital room, with nurses to handle the details, maybe; but right there at home? With my own MOM or SISTER wiping my butt and pulling my pants back up and emptying the bedpan and everything? It boggled my mind to think about it. Still does. Sean seemed to take it in stride though and accept for sometimes seeming embarrassed didn't mention it.

Well, after the first week or so Sean was strong enough to get out of bed and walk to the toilet if someone unhooked the ropes for him, but he still needed help because he couldn't bend his arms. And he couldn't stay on his feet for long. Poor guy.

I found out the my mom is one tough cookie. She took care of the whole house AND Sean and never complained. After a couple of weeks though, it was obvious that money was going to get a little tight and Mom had to go back to the job she had taken a leave from to take care of Sean.

In the third week after the accident, Mom got a call from her job and had to go in to help fix problems with some sort of engineering proposal they were all excited about. She put me in charge of Sean and Sam for the rest of the afternoon.

I was watching TV when I heard Sean holler out for Mom, so I ran up to his room to see what he needed. He asked where Mom was and I told him, and he asked if I would mind getting him some fried chicken leftovers with honey since he was hungry. I said sure, and went to get it.

When I got back he explained I needed to put a towel on his chest in case of spills. So I pulled the blanket down to his waist and put a hand towel over his chest, put another pillow under his head to bring his head closer to upright, sat down on the bed by him and held each piece of chicken up to his mouth so he could take a bite. He was smiling at me as I did all this, which made me feel good since I always really liked Sean. He's always been a great guy and a good younger brother.

We had a minor mishap when some honey dripped off the chicken and started rolling down his cheek. I jerked the chicken away so I could dab at his cheek with the towel, but that just made things worse -- the chicken leg got away and landed half on Sean's stomach and half on the blanket. Sean started giggling out loud, so, since he wasn't wearing a shirt (the casts on his arms made him too hot if he wore one) I started tickling his sides, not too hard because it still hurt when he laughed. but fooling around like that just made him messier.

Once we'd both calmed down a bit, I got a warm, wet washcloth and started washing him from his chest bandage down to the top of his pjs. bottoms, wiping his stomach gently so as not to start him laughing again. Sean had his eyes closed and was smiling, and I kind of felt really close to him then. I always did feel close to him but at that moment, I just loved him to pieces. There wasn't any sexual component to it; it was just that seeing him smile like that, with his eyes closed, as I washed his body. It made my heart full somehow. I don't know.

I fetched another blanket to replace the one I'd messed up. But when I pulled down the blanket, the sheet pulled down with it, so he was uncovered except by his pajama bottoms. Nothing unusual about that really, But when I glanced back up at him from where I was removing the sheet and blanket, something struck me as odd. It was then that I realized Sean had an erection. It was raising the front of his pj's so that its outline showed rather clearly from his crotch down along his left leg.

I guess my mouth dropped open in surprise; I know my eyes widened and I just kind of stared stupidly at the outline of his erect penis under the thin cloth of his pajamas. It's odd, but I remember an image flashed through my mind of his cute little thingie the last time I had seen it, when he was about 4 or 5 years old, and I thought how much bigger it was now. (Duh.)

I don't know how long I stared. Eventually he more or less cried out "Niki!" and raised up the knee nearest me. I tore my eyes away and looked up at his face. Poor Sean -- he was so embarrassed! and --- CUTE! His cheeks were bright red, and I think he might have given just about anything to be able to cover himself up at that point. But with his arms immobilized, of course all he could do was raise his knee and sort of point it away from me in order to hide himself. I wanted to laugh, because he just looked so damn cute all embarrassed like that. At the same time though, my heart went out to him. I never meant to embarrass him.

"Sean, it's okay," I told him. "I've seen pictures in sex-ed and you don't have anything to be ashamed of. I love you." Somewhere in there I started smiling at him. "You're beautiful. It's okay, you have a beautiful male body, and really it's okay."

"I'm sorry Niki. I couldn't help it," he told me. "It felt so good when you were washing me, and I've been like stuck here for like forever. I'm really sorry, Niki. I'm so sorry." I remember thinking how unbelievable it was that he was thinking about MY feelings while he was just TOTALLY helpless.

Now, at that time I wasn't and even today I'm still not the most sexually active person in the world, and at that time I was technically still a virgin. So big erections were kind of unknown territory for me. Not that I was completely ignorant. The year before, I had gotten a little too hot and heavy for comfort with my then boyfriend Tom in the back of his father's car a couple of times, me with my shirt unbuttoned and Tom groping me while I groped him back. One night I let him finger me between my legs until I had a weak little orgasm. Then he told me he needed release also, or it would be physically painful for him, which was a new idea to me. But fair is fair, so I let him show me the right way to stroke his erection and I brought him to climax that way; he spurted semen all over himself and his shirt and the car seat. It was amazing to me, but also a bit scary, how much fluid came jetting out of him. I could see how it might be painful for a boy to have to hold all that in.

Anyhow, after a couple of dates where we "got each other off" manually, I told Tom it made me nervous because I didn't want to go all the way with anyone yet, and I was afraid we would lose control. Tom respected my wishes, bless him. We still hugged and kissed, but we toned it way down. After a while longer though, we just kind of drifted apart altogether (as boyfriend and girlfriend I mean). We were still friends, just not hot and heavy like we were before.

Anyway, The point of all this is that I did know that the male of the species sometimes needs physical release just like girls do and I had learned (with Tom) just how to provide it.

Sean looked so miserable, and I was feeling such love for him, and I so wanted for him to understand that his feelings and his body really were okay, and that I didn't think any less of him -- all these feelings just sort of came together in my mind all at once very strongly, and while I held his gaze I sat down next to him, reached over his bent leg and cupped my hand over his erection. It had shrunk a bit in his embarrassment, I guess, but as I held it I felt it grow full again, and Sean straightened out his knee. His penis sort of twitched irregularly, moving under my hand as I gently squeezed.

Sean was looking seriously shocked, so I smiled and went, "Shhhh!"

God. After keeping all this to myself it feels very strange and good in a way to be writing it out in detail like this so others can read about it. Even more weird, it's making me feel itchy. Horny. This can't be normal. I'm like totally soaked right now just writing about it. Amazing.

I've gotta go. I'll write more later.

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Anyhow, to get on with it.

"Sean," I told him as softly as I could. I was kind of worried about someone hearing us even though Mom was at work and Sam NEVER got off the phone if Mom wasn't home. Still I was nervous and I babbled. "I know this is a normal thing for a boy to feel. I know how guys need relief sometimes, and you can't do it for yourself right now. I know it must be very uncomfortable. But I'll bet I can help you feel better. Can I? I mean, Would you mind?"

While I babbled all this he was just staring at me. His face looked very intense.

After a few seconds of silence (I think he was just plain stunned) I started to take my hand away. That's when his words came out in a rush.

"Are you sure you want to?" he asked.

I smiled and nodded.

"Oh, Niki, That's so nice of you. I've been so frustrated. If you'd do that for me... are you sure?" He was sort of babbling too.

I looked up at him -- he was watching me from between his suspended arms -- nodded, then hooked my hands over his pj bottoms at each side of his hips and pulled down on them. Sean raised up slightly to help and I pulled his pajama bottoms down below his knees, leaning back to do so. His penis flipped up and hit him in the stomach with a slap. It was kind of throbbing with his heartbeat and I couldn't take my eyes away from it. I don't know, it was just so pretty somehow and fascinating. It was like I was mesmerized or something. This wasn't a grope session in a dark car. This was on top of a bed, with the light on, and no one else in the house but my little sister gabbing endlessly on the phone.

Sean's cock just looked incredibly beautiful to me. It wasn't HUGE like in the stories I've seen since than. I guess it was about 7 inches long but it was just so perfectly proportioned, so, I don't know, perfect. It had little blue veins sticking out on its surface and a big purplish, plumb looking head on the end. It stood there, throbing like that, and actually took my breath away. I don't know about other girls, but that's what seeing him like that did for me.

I really don't know how normal I am for any of this really. I guess that's one reason I'm writing this. Maybe it's just me, but the effect of seeing Sean fully engorged like that was -- electric. It was like all my circuits were suddenly running on double voltage. My breathing was out of control and my body was begging me to masturbate, and I was totally enthralled. I was a virgin at the time after all, and very curious too.

I reached over to grasp it. God, it was so warm in my hand. I squeezed gently, and the thing kind of pulsed in my hand (something else that made my hormones go haywire.) Then when I stroked my hand upward toward the head the way Tom had taught me, moisture appeared at the end and spread downward to my fingers. I reached my left hand over to rub my finger around in this stuff, which felt warm and slick. Sean groaned and hunched his hips up toward my hand. I could tell it felt very good to him; lord knows it was making my own world intense.

My hormones must have been in flood stage by then. I could see and pay attention to everything I did to Sean, I could see the physical details of how he was built, how his testicles hung down against his crotch and where his butt started down below that, and I could see a sort of hint of his ass hidden away down there. But most of all, I could clearly see what happened when I did certain things to him, and all this made me a bit crazy. One time I glanced up to his face and saw Sean gazing back down with his eyes half shut, watching the action, but I didn't look up long enough even to smile or anything. I just looked right back down at his wonderful, full cock and at what I was doing to it and how Sean was responding.

"Niki, I'm getting close," he said, his voice a bit breathless. So I stroked my right hand up and down faster. Then, pausing but not letting go of him, I moved over on the bed so my left knee rested outside of his right leg and my right knee was between his legs. It gave me a more direct view of his cock and his ball sack -- okay, his scrotum, but that's such an ugly word -- Even THAT was beautiful to me. I don't even really like the word cock all that much, but I can't call it a penis the whole time. Anyway the thing was totally beautiful to me. I don't know, maybe I'm just a total slut or something.

Anyway, I reached over with my left hand to lift his balls while I stroked his erection with my right, and the tips of my left hand fingers, pressing lightly against the skin behind where his ball sack joined his body, could feel his muscles contract every now and then. From this and from his hip action I figured he was about to let loose with his semen, like Tom had done. When I scratched lightly at the skin behind his balls he moaned softly, so I stroked up and down faster with my right hand and kept scratching lightly, up and down behind his ball sack, with my other hand. This provoked a more intense moan, and he started hunching his hips up and down. It was fascinating and wonderful to watch.

I guess it was too intense to last -- Sean started to spurt, and I could actually feel each jet of semen moving against my fingers inside him, just before it pulsed out of the little slit on the end. My left hand fingers, resting against Sean's crotch behind his balls, could feel the muscles there contract with each spurt.

I hadn't noticed any of this with Tom, but then everything about this was different from anything before. By now I was moving my own hips back and forth, rubbing myself against Sean's leg; it was so compulsive that it still makes me a little embarrassed to recall, But I needed the release and had a little orgasm myself as Sean shot out his semen.

He must have spurted strongly 4 or 5 times, not counting the little in-between "spurtlets." I can still see it clearly in my mind. His first really strong pulse was incredible -- it went clear up to his face, landed on his right cheek next to his nose, and left a string of the stuff down over his lips and chin onto his chest bandages and the towel. As I continued stroking he kept spurting with decreasing energy until finally his penis started getting softer and smaller in my hand.

Unlike with Tom I didn't want to let go right away, but Sean sort of pulled away, murmuring: "Too hard, Niki, take it easier.".

So I tried to make my hand motions less urgent. Guided by Sean's hip movements and soft vocal sounds, I moved my hand against him gently until finally he lowered his hips all the way back down and I knew he was finished. This is how I learned it hurts a boy to stroke his penis too hard when he is almost done ejaculating, but feels good to him if you rub gently at the underside, just below the head. I guess the nerves there are concentrated but not oversensitive. Male physiology is very strange sometimes. I really love it, but it's strange all the same.

"You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, Sean," I told him, and meant it. "I love you."

Then on impulse I leaned up to kiss him. I was gonna kiss his cheek but at the very last moment something made me kiss him on the mouth. Well, his semen was on his lips and so then it was on MY lips. I open my mouth slightly so I could wipe my tongue over his mouth and sort of clean him where his semen had landed. I guess a little part of me was curious about it too. I guess I just wanted to taste it for some reason. It was salty and warm but kind of okay. I liked it. Or maybe what I liked was knowing where it came from and that I had caused it. Sean-juice, courtesy of Niki.

Anyhow, after I kissed him I used the towel to wipe up the rest of his semen. It had shot all over the place and had collected in little puddles here and there, mostly on his belly.

"Sean, are you okay that I did that for you?" I asked him. I was a little worried and guilty, I mean incest is a strong taboo, but I have to say that I wasn't even really thinking about the incest part just then, just that he might be mad at me or something and not such a sweet brother any more.

But all Sean did was stare at me. His eyes were wide open and steady, and he just gazed at me and nodded his head. I've always loved that steady gaze of his. It melts me every time.

At that point I started to babble a little again "I'll come back and do it again if you want me to, until you get well, but I don't have to if you don't want me too." I told him.