Not Over Him Yet

Have you ever met someone that changes your life in an instant? Someone who you have this instant connection with that just touches you right down to your toes? Well I did...

About 5 years ago I was travelling all the time, my marriage was falling apart and I was missing something in my life. I had decided to do something about it and since I was always progressive decided to place an ad on an Internet meeting service. I was travelling to a particular city very often so knew meeting someone there would be simple and safe from prying eyes.

I got the usual messages and no one really seemed interesting. One day a new message appeared. The man seemed normal, intelligent and a bit reserved. I found myself answering him and we starting exchanging email. Over the next few weeks we opened up to each other about everything – our lives, our desires, our dreams. Before we knew it we had started chatting on the phone, all during the day since he was married as well. We also found ourselves very attracted to one another. Sure we had exchanged the usual grainy, bad pictures, but would reality be what we had otherwise.

I was planning to be in his city in a week or so and we decided to meet on a Sunday. His family was out of town and he had the day free. Getting ready for that trip was terrible. Things kept coming up and I almost missed the flight. Mind you there was NO way I was not going to be on that plane.

Finally the big day came and I was so apprehensive. I am not the most ravishing creature in the world and was terrified that he would take one look and say thanks, but no thanks. He arrived and called from downstairs. We met and it seemed very stiff as we rode the elevator up to the club lounge (one of the perks of travelling well). We sat overlooking the city and the conversation flowed, but it seemed strained. We talked about this and that but I had no idea what was on his mind. All I wanted to know was if reality was as good as imagination had been.

He was attractive but not some model either. But the combination of looks and especially his personality and wit were devastating to me. We decided to go to my room and look in the paper and take in a movie. Not exactly what I was hoping for but could be an interesting way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

I was sitting at the desk looking at the paper and he came over and kissed the back of my neck. Well that was it. I turned and we kissed...tentatively then deep and soul searching. We never did see that movie. Needless to say the reality far exceeded any imaginary encounter I could come up with. We actually never even had intercourse that day (no condoms and could not find any close to the hotel).

We kept seeing each other for a few months. Each time we did it became harder and harder. The sex was amazing but what was worse we truly cared for each other. My marriage was ending, and not because of this, but his was not and he had small children who he was devoted to. In another place and time who knows...? We eventually had to end things because it was too hard. Seeing someone you wanted to be with and knew you couldn't ripped each of us every time.

A few years later I moved back to the city where he lived. We had lunch a couple of times and the spark was still there...boiling just below the surface. One day he came to my office for lunch. My staff had gone for the weekend and I locked my door. We sat eating our McDonald's (close by) at the conference table in my office. Small talk kept us physically busy but we both knew where our true thoughts were. This was the first time we had been alone in a couple of years. He kissed me and soon I was leaning over my desk with him driving his glorious cock into me from behind. No need for a lot of foreplay...seeing him and knowing him got me wet immediately.

We have not seen each other since then. There have been occasional emails but we both know that trying to just see each other occasionally is too hard. Even as I write this the silly toy that came with my Happy Meal that day is sitting on my computer. People think it is something one of my nieces gave me, but for me it reminds me of a wonderful man who I still care about and still crosses my mind.

Is the whole thing over? I have no idea. I know how I would like to end it. We have never been able to really be out in public together as a couple. I now live in another city and would love to have him visit or better yet go somewhere just the two of us for a weekend...be a couple and if nothing else try and get him out of my system. Does he still feel the same way? I have no idea. Perhaps I will find out sometime...