Nothing is Ever What It Seems Ch. 02

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185 Followers

She took no notes again.

"Babe, we noticed you zoned out again. It's okay, you can copy my notes."

"Um, thanks...that's really nice of you." Hallie said warily."

The girl shrugged her shoulders, "Oh my god, don't say that, babe, what are friends for?"

Hallie nodded as she packed her things in her bag. She didn't have friends from any of her classes before anyone knew she was from such an affluent background. Now, not only did she have so many so-called friends, they would also bend over backwards to help her.

She was really starting to dislike this place.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hallie surveyed herself in the mirror. Underneath the red dress she wore a push-up bra that made her breasts look so ridiculous, but she knew Jack would like it.

Without her friends around this year, the Charity Ball would be insufferable. She would be forced to follow Jack around like a little lapdog or forced to spend time with her in-laws or her parents. Alin had begged her to come with her to Tao and May's wedding, but Hallie had lied and told her that Alex was not feeling well and she didn't want to go anywhere without knowing how he is.

It was a pathetic lie and it was obvious Alin knew too. She pressed and pressed but Hallie managed to stay put. In a way, it was ideal that she wouldn't be attending the wedding, as Ryan would be there. She hadn't seen Ryan since the day she left Beijing. She tried her best to avoid him so that she wouldn't make the same mistake again. It saddened her they could no longer be friends, but she could not allow her feelings for Ryan to tear her family apart.

She took a quick glance at the digital clock on the bedside table -- 19:23. It was seven in the morning in Beijing, which meant that Jared, Alin and Ryan should be landing in another hours' time. She would be expecting a call or a message from Alin soon. She tried to concentrate on her appearance, making sure she looked the best for Jack, instead of letting the bitterness of missing Tao and May's wedding take over.

Hallie put in her earrings and from the mirror's view she saw Jack walk in. Her husband looked handsome in his tailored suit and bowtie. To everyone they looked like the perfect couple- young, good looking and successful couple with two beautiful children.

Behind closed doors held a more sinister, disgraced truth.

She stiffened when she saw her husband walk even closer to her, and before she could react, he wrapped his arms around her waist affectionately. He placed light kisses on the curve of her neck.

"If we had more time..." He whispered in her ear, "Fuck, I like it when you look like this..."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

25/12/07

Our first Christmas together was perfect. It was two months into our marriage and he showered me with a lot of gifts, but most importantly, also affection. Something I never had with my parents.

This year, our third Christmas together... I stare at the ceiling mechanically. Blinking back tears. I tried to shift, but my body screamed in exhaustion. I bit my lip hard as I felt the pain in my most intimate parts.

What did I ever do to deserve all this?

The past two years seemed to go especially slow. What was the saying? Time flies if you're having fun? I can finally see the logic in the saying.

Two years may not seem a long time, but my life hadn't been what I had imagined it to be. I always knew I was lucky. Hell, I was born with silver spoon in my mouth, so to speak. I was certainly better off than a lot of people, which is something I am forever grateful for.

To top it all off, I then met the man that I thought loved me. I was the envy of all my friends. It wasn't intentional but when he asked me to marry him, I have to admit I was slightly smug. I was never the prettiest girl in the class nor do I have a supermodel figure, but the fact that he chose to be with me, did wonders for my confidence. I loved him- I really did. In fact, now that I look back at it, he never did love me. I mean why would you inflict pain on to someone you love?

For the past two years I have learnt to hide my feelings from those that care for me...I feel as if I'd been hiding my whole life. I fear one day I'd break down and reveal all the shameful things in my life.

Every time after he was 'done' with me - as he liked to put it, he would smirk at me and then leave without a backwards glance. I wish I could fight back, every time that smirk appeared on his ugly face I wanted to hit him back for hurting me, for destroying me... but inevitably I wasn't strong enough to even inflict a fraction of the pain he's put me through.

A lone tear slid down my cheek and before I knew it, more and more came pouring down. I don't know how much time had passed, but my eyes hurt from the salty tears stinging and I was reduced to hiccupping uncontrollably. Taking a deep breath, I finally found the strength to get up from the bed, but the image that suddenly flashed in front of me haunted me.

The image the mirror presented showed a battered, tired and pathetic woman. Skin marked by old yellowish bruises, angry news ones emerging in a burst of red, purplish blue colour. I stare at the face. Lips reddened by the blood that poured out from the small cut, tears stained the cheeks and eyes that had no life in them.

This pathetic woman was me.

I let someone who was supposed to love me do this. I drop to the floor, half naked hugging my knees against my chest. I silently sobbed, wondering when this could be over.

Already I knew the answer, for I had been contemplating this for the past few months-if I killed myself, this would all stop. Suddenly the idea seemed so great, it brought hope for me. The irony of my thoughts was lost on me at the time.

I pulled on my robe and went to the kitchen. Grabbing one of the 10inch kitchen knives I went back to the room. I was strangely calm. Maybe it was because I knew he would be angry if I'd killed myself. He would no longer have a punching bag and that will definitely annoy him. I smiled at the thought, naively thinking that taking my own life would be some kind of retaliation against him. I lifted the knife to my wrist and slowly made a small cut on the delicate skin.

Blood oozed out from the wound, but strangely, it felt really good. Feeling confident I decided the next cut would be deeper and longer. My heart beat increased rapidly as I was about to make the fatal incision. The cold knife touched my skin and my heart was pounding against my chest. Just as I applied more pressure to make the cut, a faint cry in the background distracted me. I turned quickly to see where the noise was coming from.

The baby monitor.

I froze.

It was when my baby's cries continued that I finally snapped out of the shock. Quickly I grabbed a cloth to wrap around my wrist to stop the bleeding from the small cut. I ran to my son's room and picked him up from his cot. I cradled him in my arms.

I was about to kill myself and didn't even think of the consequences. After cradling him for a few minutes he started to move restlessly in my arms. His big doe eyes stared back at me and then he smiled at me.

I laid a gentle kiss on his chubby cheeks and then hugged him tightly. How could I be so selfish? How could I allow that monster to break me so much so I would consider the point of no return? How could I let him dictate my son's future?

I knew even with the pain and the hurt he would likely continue to cause me in the future, I could never leave my son. I would protect him if it meant I had to continue to suffer his abuse.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

She watched as her husband smiled down affectionately at her. This was not something she was used to. It seemed he was right two weeks ago when he demanded she wear this dress. She had received a lot of compliments and unwanted male attention- not necessarily all good or appropriate. It made her feel uncomfortable, but Jack was on cloud nine. He lapped up the attention, proudly showing her off to all his misogynistic friends and subtlety insulting their wives' drab appearance.

Hallie really couldn't take it anymore as they continued to leer at her and make subtle innuendos. Not only did her husband not mind it, he encouraged it. But his possessive hand on her lower back screamed his undesired wishes to share her. Jack liked her to be his, and only his. He merely just liked the attention.

"Jack, I need to go to the bathroom."

He rolled his eyes, "Hurry back." He muttered reluctantly removing his hand from her lower back.

She walked across the foyer and occasionally people would stop to greet her. She turned a corner and walked down the corridor, separating herself from the crowd. There were still people lingering around, but the noise from the crowd lessened. Hallie knew she was pretty much alone. She breathed a sigh of relief, grateful for a few minutes of silence to regain her sanity.

All of a sudden someone grabbed her wrist from behind and pulled her into a hidden corner, out of sight from the crowd. Hallie wanted to scream, but as she quickly turned around, her expression changed from fear to anger and confusion.

"Ryan?" She gasped, "I thought you were at May and Tao's wedding."

"Yes, I was going to..." He paused, staring down at her, unsure of what to say next. "But I needed to see you."

"Ryan don't." She said turning away from him.

"Hallie, I can't do this anymore." He said in a low voice, "I know you feel the same way about me. Leave Carter and be with me."

It was crazy.

Ryan knew.

But he didn't know what else to do. He knew if he didn't pursue her, she would be lost to him forever.

Hallie watched his tired appearance. His face was pained and tired, waiting for her to say yes.

She couldn't allow this charade to go further on.

"Stop." She pointed a finger at him, trying to contain her anger. "We have to stop this right now. IF you want to even be friends with me, you have to... to stop."

"Why are you still with him? Why?"

"Because he is the father of my children; because he is my husband. Because he loves me-"

"-Him dressing you like that? Parading you around like his toy? The whole world knows how he treats you- but you. You continue to pretend he treats you right but deep down you know it-"

"It's got nothing to do with you. We love each other."

"Love? Look around you Hallie! He's probably fucked a fifth of the women here- you're just deluding yourself!"

He was losing her fast and he was deliberately being crude as a defence mechanism.

She pulled her hand away from his grip and hissed, "Regardless of what he has done-"

"-And is still doing-" He interrupted, shocked at her attempt to excuse his behaviour.

"I will... I will always love him. And... and you need to leave us alone. You need to leave my family alone."

She closed her eyes, "I think it's best if we forget this ever happened and also whatever happened in Beijing. Frankly it's getting tiring." She turned and shakily walked away from him.

As he watched her retreating back, the first thing that came to Ryan's mind was why he continued to act like a fool.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

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5 Comments
amja7578amja7578about 10 years ago

OMG! I love your story! Please update soon!!!!!!!

CandleLightExpressCandleLightExpressover 10 years ago
Brilliant

Over the past two days I've read all that you have posted here. I haven't been able to put it down. Great stuff and keep up the good work. Can't wait for more...

dairetodairetoover 10 years ago
Am really enjoying reading these stories

Cant wait till the next chapter

x0x01001x0x01001over 10 years ago
Seconded

More more more! Can hardly wait till the next chapter is posted. Keep up the good work.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Can't wait for more.

Thanks for another great chapter. I hope you have better laptop luck. You post such great work I hope computer mishaps don't impede it.

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