Nude Day, What Does It Matter?

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Writer ponders the reason for Nude Day.
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Writer ponders the reason for Nude Day, when every day is Nude Day.

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Admittedly, I'm a pervert but, sadly, I'm not a pervert in good standing. Doubly ashamed, for being a pervert and for not being a pervert in good standing, unable to do anything right, I no longer know where I fit or don't fit in society. I'm a disgrace. I may as well turn in my binoculars, periscope, digital camera, camcorder, raincoat with attached pant legs, and mirrored shoes, and disappear in the hills of Vermont and join a religious cult. Nonetheless my being a failure of a pervert and notwithstanding my confession that I'm a loser, somehow, I feel better, cleansed, after getting all of that off my chest. Only, I'm afraid and sorry to admit that there's more, so much more.

"Be strong. Take a breath. Relax. C'mon, you can do it," I say to myself for no one to hear, while giving myself a pep talk. "Okay. Ready? Here goes."

Much like a man who lies about his football accomplishments in college, when he wasn't even on the team or the man who tells tall tales about his combat exploits in the war, when he was never even in the military, all talk, all fabrication, and not much action, I'm the same way. I'm not much of a pervert at all, really. I'm embarrassed to write that I don't even celebrate the perverts' biggest holiday, Nude Day, never have, and probably never will. I know, I'm a disgrace. If I was a real pervert, I definitely get naked and celebrate that one day in the year.

What the Hell kind of pervert am I? What Easter and Christmas is to Catholics, Nude Day is the perverts national holiday, right up there with the Swingers' Convention held in Las Vegas every year. How dare I not only even attend a Nude Day event but also not even celebrate the Nude Day holiday? A rhetorical question, of course, what's wrong with me? Walking the line between being a perverted man and a normal one, I'm a square peg that can't be buttonholed in either hole.

"Wow, that was hard to write. Look at my hands. They're shaking. I need a drink."

Now that I'm writing this Nude Day essay, I'm thinking about Nude Day a lot. Can you feel it, touch it, and taste it? Can you smell it? The smell of sex is in the air. Can you just imagine all of those naked people? Oh, yeah, I bet you'd love to touch, fondled, caress and fuck them all, huh, wouldn't you? Only, I don't go there. Embarrassed to admit, I stay home on Nude Day and, instead getting any action, I make up all of my Nude Day stories, when asked what I did for the National Nude Day holiday.

With the smell of sex in the air, I know it's wrong of me not to attend some Nude Day party held somewhere, while being surrounded by naked, sweaty, smelly, and horny people. I know it's wrong of me not to strip naked and expose myself on the pretense of it being Nude Day, but fearing arrest, I can't. Besides, I'm not a nudist. I'm not even an exhibitionist. If I'm anything at all, as are most men, I'm a voyeur, but a closeted voyeur at that and at best. Always cautious and careful, I'm careful that no one sees me leering, staring, and ogling women.

As a doctor who specializes in a certain field, perverts specialize in different perversions. I needn't run down the laundry lists of perversions to know that if you're reading this story, no doubt, you're a pervert that specializes in some type of perversion, too. Am I right? Nonetheless, being the voyeur that I am, albeit burdened with guilt, I'd be embarrassed for anyone to know that I'm a voyeur. I'd be embarrassed for anyone to catch me ogling their mother, daughter, wife, girlfriend, significant other, friend, or sister. Still, it's there, that desperate, lustful, and horny need to feed my voyeurism.

"Show me what you got. I want to see something that I'm not to see. Show me your panties. Show me your bra. Show me your ass, your pussy, and your tits."

Whether seeing panty or bra, pussy, tits or ass, I love seeing things that I'm not supposed to see, while pretending that I didn't see them. Oops and accidental nudity are my favorites, especially when they don't appear staged, as some of the Japanese videos do. An exposed nipple, when the bridesmaids are reaching up to catch the bouquet or a glimpse of a brides panty, when a drunken groom goes a bit too high and too far up her wedding dress is voyeuristically exciting to me.

A woman sitting on the grass in the park, while having her lunch and reading her book and not knowing or maybe knowing that she's flashing passersbys her panties is hot, too. While standing on the bus and looking down to ogle a woman's cleavage is always sexually exciting fun, too, as well as it is to sit on the train across from a woman whose knees are parted just enough to give me a glimpse of her panty. Glad to be a man, an exposed panty clad ass on a windy day makes me feel excitedly invigorated, alive, and horny. Indeed, much in the way of foreplay, sometimes, it's more fun to see bits, pieces, and flashes of women than it is to see a naked woman.

Yet, unless he's certifiable, for fear of being thought a pervert and/or arrested and placed in shame on the sex registry list, no man wants to be caught looking up a women's skirt or down a woman's blouse, especially when that woman is a friend or the mother, daughter, sister, wife, girlfriend, or significant other of a friend. Thank God for hidden cameras and web cams. Thank God for the Internet, as most of the perverts have gone underground in hiding and are relegated to be sexually satisfied by surfing the net for porn to satisfy their particular and peculiar list of perversions.

Yet, just as there are many men who are voyeurs, there are an equal amount of women who are exhibitionists, that is, for the right man. No matter if we are perverted or supposedly normal, when a pretty woman is showing, we all look hoping to see something we're not supposed to see. We can't help ourselves. After all, we're all human and we're all guilty of being voyeurs and exhibitionists.

For sure, it's a learned art form to ogle a woman without her knowing she's been ogled. Nonetheless, most women don't have to see you peeping to know that you're peeking. Yeah, sure, there are some women who want to be ogled, women who love to publically show what we aren't supposed to see. It's a game we all play. Yet, in all the games we play, the teasing, the titillation, and the innuendoes, most times, it's all harmless fun.

Unfortunately, there's a flip side to that coin, though. Even though we're all part of the human race, men are animals that cling to the thin thread of sanity by not acting upon their sexual impulses and doing what they really want to do, if they could, and if there were no repercussions for doing whatever it is they really wanted to sexually do. Don't just gloss over it, but think about what I just wrote.

"Men are animals that cling to the thin thread of sanity by not acting upon their sexual impulses and doing what they really want to do, if they could, and if there were no repercussions for doing whatever it is they really wanted to sexually do."

C'mon, admit it. Be honest with yourself. We're alone. There's no one here by me and you. Just for once, let's tell the truth. Be a real man and admit how you really feel about women.

If given the chance, if left alone in a room, if no one was there to stop you, if no one would ever know what you did, and nothing bad would befall you, wouldn't you sexually assault some female stranger, acquaintance, friend, relative, celebrity, public figure, or politician you've been lusting over for years? Shame on you. If you said no, you'd be lying. All of you are already thinking of a certain someone that you'd love to see naked and on her knees with your cock in her mouth. Am I right?

What if you could hypnotize the woman you've been lusting over for years? What if you happened upon her and she was dead, out of her mind drunk, and didn't know where she was and who you were? What if she was drugged? Would you take advantage of her then, knowing she'd have no recollection of what you did, while she was so indisposed? Yeah, sure, the bulk of you would declare that you'd do the gentlemanly thing and just escort her home. Yet, once alone with her in her bedroom, once you begin to undress her, removing her blouse, her skirt, her bra, and her panty, what would you do then? Would you remove your clothes, too? I bet you would. Wouldn't you fuck her? I bet you would.

Imagine all those hot women you see shopping at the mall that are untouchable. Imagine all those sexy women at work that are unapproachable. Imagine fucking your best friend's wife. Imagine your sister-in-law sucking your cock. Yeah, now we're talking. Imagine your mother, sister, or cousin sucking and fucking you. Oh, boy.

Having a cute little body, Condoleeza Rice wasn't a bad looking woman and I'd secretly throw big breasted Nancy Pelosi a bang, especially now that she's not holding a gavel to knock me senseless on the head. Seriously, c'mon, who wouldn't do the Bush twins? I betcha Michelle Obama is a wild woman in bed. Admittedly, I feel bad for the guy who lusts over Hilary Clinton, Madelein Albright, Sarah Palin, or Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg. Okay, maybe being an ex-beauty queen and looking so much like Tina Fey, Sarah Palin could get a free pass, but I'd have to put a gag in her mouth for me to do her, while dealing with her big mouth, that is, after she blew me. And for me to do Hilary, Madelein, or Ruth, I'd have to put a double bag not only over their heads but also over their bodies, too, just in case the first bag broke. Indeed they all are smarter than most men, but oh, boy, they are some butt ugly women.

I'm just curious about you, though. Who would you have sex with, if you could? Cameron Diaz? Angelina Joelie? Carmen Electra? Pamela Anderson? Maybe Lady Gaga or Madonna? C'mon, tell me. It's just between me and you. No one would ever know. If for just a day, you were the Sultan of Brunei and able to bed anyone and do any and all unspeakable things, who would you love to hold, kiss, touch, strip naked, and fuck? Who would you love to have fondle your cock, before she takes you in her mouth and sucks you off, while looking up at you, as you fondle her tits? Yeah, now we're talking.

Me? Who would I do, if I could? That's an easy one to answer. I'd love to have sex with Jennifer Nettles of Sugarland. I just love her. I think she's wicked hot.

She's not only hot but there's something about her that makes me mad with sexual desire for her. Not only is she beautiful, but she strikes me as being a good and genuine person. Not all animal, I need a woman who has a good personality, a sense of humor, a sense of fun, and one who is intelligent and has a wild side, too. I need a good woman, one who's not only good in bed but also a best friend. Reading into her, without even knowing her, my perception of her is that Jennifer Nettles is that type of woman. I dunno, I may be all wrong, but it's fun to think that she's my perfect match.

Speaking of Jennifer's, Jennifer Lopez is looking especially hot, lately, and Jennifer Aniston still looks good. So, which woman starts your engine and revs your motor? Imagine having two hours of uninterrupted time alone and no one knew you were having your way with them, not even the women, who would you do, if you could? C'mon, tell me. I'm curious.

Think about it, though, how dangerous would any man be, if allowed free reign to do whatever he wanted to do, to whomever he wanted to do it. Forget about wives, girlfriends, and significant others, the whole world would be a sexual madhouse of depraved lunacy and sexual debauchery. I dare say that none of us would be attached to any woman. We'd all be wild in the streets. I dare say the games we all play with voyeurism and exhibitionism would no longer be games but would turn to terror for the women that we lusted over and wanted. Forget about our mothers-in-law and sisters-in-law, our own mothers and daughters wouldn't be safe from our sexual lunacy and incestuous lustful desire.

Not all men are as civilized as American men and I use the word civilized loosely. Controlled is more the word. Oh, yeah, there are plenty of places in the world and in this country where women dare not walk alone without packing an AK-47 and a few grenades. With all the sexual videos from Japan, I wonder how tightly tied to reality some of those Japanese men are, when groping and raping women on the subway. Then, there are too many of the middle eastern, African, and south Asian men who have little or no respect for women. They truly believe that women are just there for their personal pleasure. Rape, even death, is a common occurrence with those types of men. Appropriately named, where anything goes, Bangkok comes to mind.

Yet, this essay isn't about nudism, per se. Nor is this essay about morality, exhibitionism, or voyeurism. This essay is about the significance and high regard we men all hold for Nude Day. Nude Day? Yeah, Nude Day. One special day of the year to honor the naked body and to expose ourselves in a civil disobedient display of public nudity. If you ask me, get closer to the computer so that no one else can hear. We don't need a day to celebrate nudity. Every day to every man is Nude Day.

To be honest, if it wasn't for the Nude Day contest that Literotica holds and the naked PETA models we see on television earmarking the holiday by boycotting fur, I wouldn't even know when Nude Day was. Please forgive me but, to me, Nude Day is just a day in the year that gives men excuses to get drunk and women to get naked, not that men or women need an excuse or a special day to get drunk and/or naked. If Bret Michaels of Poison read what I just wrote, he'd have a coronary.

"Show me your tits! Show me your tits! Show me your tits!"

A common catcall we men all have. Signs are displayed and their words are shouted at every large function where drunken men gather with willing women, from college dorm parties to auto racing to spring break to Fantasy Fest, that is, of course, except for the Super Bowl because it's just too damn cold. The show me your tits signs further proves my point that every day is Nude Day.

A recent and horrific crime comes to mind when the relatively attractive Lara Logan, the CBS correspondent, was brutally attacked, beaten, stripped naked, and violently assaulted by a crowd of angry Egyptian men. Surrounded by a dense, mad mob of maniacal men, they violently assaulted her because she was a woman and because they could. Then, to fuel the fire, someone shouted that she was a Jew. She's not Jewish, of course, but at that point of mayhem, it was of no matter if she was or wasn't. Thinking she was going to die, thinking that she'd never see her loved ones again, it was horrifically horrible for her and a terrible crime acted upon her person.

With sex having absolutely nothing to do with what happened to Lara Logan, think about that one act of violence. Think about the rage that men have for them to do this as a mad, maniacal mob. What if that was your wife, girlfriend, significant other, mother, sister, aunt, cousin, or friend? How would you feel? Wouldn't you want to take your vengeance on the man or men who did that to her? When I heard what happened to her, I was shocked and horrified.

Yet, admittedly, tragically, and perversely, in the privacy of your bathrooms and/or bedrooms, how many of you wondered what really happened to Lara Logan that day? While you stroked your cocks to an erection, how many of you thought about her worse nightmare, as fodder for your best sexual excitement, while masturbating? How many of you wished you were there to witness her being stripped naked and brutally raped?

Tell me and be honest, while you were masturbating, did you think of all those men's hands ripping, tearing, and stripping off Lara Logan's clothes? Did you think about men touching her everywhere and in places where you wished you could touch and feel Lara Logan's naked body? Did you think about bending Lara Logan her over to fuck her pussy and to fuck her up her ass, before forcing her to her knees to suck you? How many men do you think touched her, groped her, and fucked her? How many men do you think she was forced to suck?

Be honest. After this sexual crime happened to Lara Logan, how many of you thought about the same fate happening to Katie Couric, Diane Sawyer, Oprah Winfrey, Angelina Jolie, your mother, sister, daughter, or mother-in-law, or whomever it is you think about naked, while masturbating? Okay, I apologize for thinking that about your mother, but that's not the point. The point is that, barely civilized, we men are wild and to us, because we constantly and continually think of naked women, we don't need a designated Nude Day. To us, every day is Nude Day.

Why must we even have a special day for Nude Day, when every day is Nude Day to the minds of most men? Except for beer, cars, and sports, naked women are all men think about. From friends, acquaintances, and family members, to cheerleaders, Nuns, and Avon ladies going door-to-door, no woman is safe, when alone with a man. If we could, we would. Men are unable to have female friends without thinking of doing them. Am I right? Even when sitting behind their desks at work, having dinner at the dining room table, or praying in church and surveying the crowd of available women, when not thinking about beer and sports, all men think about three things, tits, ass, and pussy.

Even though we may never act upon our sexual urges, we all have a bit of Malcolm McDowell in us, when he played Alex in Clockwork Orange and raped that woman. What about Charles Manson, when he did those violently Tate/La Bianca murderous acts in the blood written name of Helter Skelter? All of us were so appalled, yet all of us read every word written in the newspapers, bought the book, Helter Skelter, and watched the movie. At the time the Helter Skelter movie was the most watched televised movie ever.

Is this what men want? By living vicariously through someone else, such as Albert DeSalvo, the Boston Strangler, Ted Bundy, or John Wayne Gacy, is this what it takes to feed our monstrous desires of rape, debauchery, and forced sex. Nude Day my ass. In comparison to what we really want to do to woman, Nude Day is just a Disney fantasy and an aside.

If we didn't all have those down deep, dark, disturbing urges, I dare admit that we men wouldn't be sitting here reading and writing these erotic stories. If it wasn't for the dangerous desires that men have that date back to the days of Ancient Rome and Caligula and before, Psycho would not have been a movie but just another psychotic person. Charles Bronson's Death Wish would never have been a success. "Hot Lips" Houlihan would have been just another sexy nurse, the movie, Spanking the Monkey, never would have been made, and no one would have gone to see the movie Secretary.

Show me your hands. How many of you watched that movie, Secretary? Be honest, wouldn't you love having a secretary like her? Fuck sexual harassment laws, she made a typo and deserved me raising her skirt, pulling down her panties, and spanking her naked ass red. It was her fault, right? She deserved whatever she got. Right? There's not a man out there who wouldn't love to discipline a beautiful, sexy woman. Oh, my God.

Allow me to explain further. The whole world has gone mad with sex. Sex is everywhere. Sex sells. Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, even when we're sleeping and dreaming, all we ever think about is sex. Yet, few of us routinely have it and do it, which is why, perhaps, we constantly think about sex, sex, sex, sex, sex.

After I had a sexual overload, after I fed all my sexual wants, needs, and desires, I had an epiphany when I was in the swinging lifestyle. Now, content to sit back, watch, and enjoy, knowing that I could have sex with practically anyone at any time, I rarely did. Been there and done that, after a while, I grew more selective and more discriminating. Although the sexual encounters were fewer, they were more meaningful. Enlightened beyond my years, I realized how immature I had been, before I joined the swinging lifestyle. Now, years later, if only as a rite of passage, I recommend the experience to everyone.

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