Nursing Home Honeysbyichabodstinks©
It was downright comical, me, a seventy something old codger, being in a room of fifteen lovely women and them asking my opinion on who had the most beautiful breasts. I was grinning but they were taking this thing very seriously and wanted this old gentleman's judgment.
They'd been doing this 'thing' for several weeks to see which one had the best tits and I'd sorta maneuvered it so they'd ask me to settle their argument. It all started back in the spring when the Humming birds were flying around the Tulips.
Being in this nursing home sometimes has its perks and after living here for five years I kinda know how to get around the staff. Every morning after breakfast, I'd wheel myself to the main lounge and position the chair like I'm watching TV. But I ain't really. The nurses station is real close and I shut my eyes like I'm dozing but actually I'm listening to what them pretty ladies talk about.
Brenda, the head nurse, mostly discussed stuff in relation to staff duties, medications, cleaning rooms, or changing Mary Addison's diaper. No one likes doing that because she fights them, biting and kicking. I know why she does it, but the staff doesn't ask me, so I don't tell them.
During the warmer months we get taken on outings to the park and fairs and ball games. The home needs additional help pushing us old fogies around, loading us in the bus, or doing things when we need help. So they hire some university gals as aides and damn pretty they are. They help me get dressed in the mornings, take me to the loo, and I get them to converse. It's easy to make them to talk about their boyfriends.
The new aides for this year had completed their orientation and I sat listening like I habitually did, the nurse was giving instructions for the day's activities. Two of the new gals were off to one side talking about breasts, and this old man perked up his ears.
"Amber, are you having your breasts enlarged?"
"Um hum. My boyfriend says it will make me sexier, he wants to play with them."
"When are you going to have it done?"
"Thursday I'm seeing the doctor. He'll ..."
"Girls, pay attention," Brenda commanded.
That ended their conversation, at least for now. Maybe I could catch wind of this topic later; I'd have to keep my eyes on those two gals.
In the afternoon when most residents were taking a nap, I spied these two babes standing, talking. I couldn't hear but Amber had her hands under her breasts, lifting and pushing. The second gal reached down the front of her blouse, adjusting her bra raising them slightly. They had my full attention, not realizing the show they were putting on.
Two other ladies joined their conversation and before long more staff was gathered around. They became very animated, pushing, pulling, bouncing and parading their frontal assets. I could see the heated discussion as they stood in a circle, tuning out the residents.
Everyone scattered as Brenda approached, one disappeared into my room. Time for me to start a discussion I thought, and wheeled in that direction. She was folding my laundry and putting it away.
"April, were you gals having an interesting conversation out there?"
She feigned innocence. "Boyfriends, we were talking about boyfriends."
"No you weren't. You were talking about boobs."
She must have caught the twinkle in my eye and blushed. "Yeah, kind of."
"What's the argument about?" I had my suspicions but wanted her to tell me.
"We were talking about who had the biggest."
"And your conclusion is ..."
"We think it's Grace," she said, indicating another aide.
She continued folding my clothes and I was silent for a moment. "Why is size important?"
"I dunno. Everyone likes them that way."
"What about yours? Do you like yours?"
The color rose in her cheeks and with a bowed head, she turned to put my shirts in the drawer. I wasn't about to let her off the hook and reiterated my question.
"Well, do you?"
She looked down at her chest. I estimated a 36B. "I wish I had more," she volunteered. "Guys would like me better if I were filled out."
"Don't go selling yourself short, girlie ..."
Our talk was interrupted by an announcement requesting assistance in room 35. That would be Mary Addison causing a disturbance; I could hear her yelling down the hall.
Amber was taken off the roster, vacation, they told us. I knew better. Sure enough when she returned, there was a considerable enlargement of her mammaries. Talk among the men at the home centered on her new additions.
Roger, from room 45, was sitting, eying her closely. I think Amber made a pretense to help him with his shoes and he raised his hand and gave her tit a gentle squeeze. She jumped back in mock surprise but Roger had the biggest grin on his face.
I took to noticing, over the next few days, most of the aides were showing more 'up front' so I arranged another conversation with April.
"A 'C' cup. Are you getting bigger?" I asked, pointing to her chest.
She smiled, but didn't say anything.
"Can I see them?"
"Why, you dirty old man." However a pleased look was in her eye.
I waited as she closed the door, unbuttoned her blouse and allowed me to visually examine her additional cleavage, padded from the inside. It's not necessary for me to tell you what was going through my mind right then.
As she closed her top, I popped a question. "Who's winning? Each of you girls is trying to out do the other."
"There's no competition."
"Perhaps there should be. Maybe you ladies should see who has the prettiest breasts."
By me planting that idea in April's mind, I knew she'd share it with the other women.
The next morning I sat listening as the idea was floated around.
"Grace or Amber would have the upper hand in the competition because of their size."
"I think I have some pretty nice knockers. I'd be in the running."
"Brenda can't be around. She'd squash this faster than anything. How do we keep her from finding out?"
"Her day off, silly! Those not on the schedule can sneak in long enough for the contest."
"I could pad mine ..."
"No padding. Must be 100% natural."
"What about Amber? Is her augmentation natural?"
"I don't know. She won't like being excluded. Who will be in this bosom tournament?"
"You and me, Grace said she wanted in it. I know Amber does. Julie, Rachel, ... April brought it up so she ought to be in it ..."
"Girls, what are you doing?" Brenda broke in.
"We're just talking."
"Well I've got something for you to do." She picked up a folder and spun on her heel, heading down the hall. The two followed along.
I liked the way this was shaping up. A smile formed on my lips as I allowed my imagination to wander.
It was two days later when I caught April in the hallway. "When's the competition to be held?"
"Tuesday. Hey, how did you know? This is supposed to be a secret."
"I've got ears Missy. I've got ears. Wouldn't want to miss this for anything."
"Whoa old timer. You're not invited. This is a private gathering."
"Who's going to do the judging? Not you gals. That would be stacking the deck. You ladies like to flaunt your frontal assets for the guys, so a man should have the final vote."
She didn't say anything but looked at me from the corner of her eyes, then walked on down the hall to another room. April was a nice lady and I was sure she'd let the others know.
Shoot, I had to take care of a personal problem.
No one had said anything about being a judge and I knew the only place large enough was the conference room. So when Tuesday rolled around and after listening to the scuttlebutt at the nursing station, I parked my chair in the room. A book was in my hands as if I was reading, but my attention was watching these good looking broads.
Most of them had arrived and decided I shouldn't be present. Two of them attempted to roll me out, but I locked the wheels and refused to be budged. "I'm a judge. I gotta be here."
Two more assisted and together they picked my chair up, carting me towards the door. This wasn't good. "I'll tell Brenda if you don't let me stay. Besides, April said I could."
That got their attention. They set me down and were holding a confab. Brenda couldn't find out, that was certain. I waited while they held their discussion.
April walked in and I gave the most lonely sorrowful doe eyed pleading look I could muster. "He stays. He'll be making the final selection." She stated.
"What are you doing April? No guys should be allowed here." Amber questioned.
"It's for the men that we 'doll' ourselves up. So why shouldn't a man be part of the selection process?"
There was a bunch of murmurings throughout the room but April carried the day; I stayed. The door was locked and all the gals stripped to the waist. Right then I was in hog heaven; beautiful babes and a banquet of breasts.
I sat in the corner while the first and second rounds were chosen by the women themselves. My book was placed over my lap, kinda like a tent; and I watched the proceedings. The final four were chosen and everyone turned towards me. I was to make the last selection.
Amber, Grace, Julie and April stood before me with their feminine splendor pointing in my direction.
It was Rachel who said, "Hey, make your choice but you gotta tell us why."
I rolled my chair in front of them and made a close inspection. My book lifted slightly. Taking my time, I slowly pondered the selection before returning to the corner.
"Ladies, I've led a long and happy life but I can honestly say I've never seen so much beauty in one place at one time as I have today. I congratulate you all, you are mighty fine looking women."
A burst of applause spread through the group. I continued.
"In my years I've tasted a number of breasts. And I can honestly say that from a man's point of view, the minimum you need is a mouthful and the maximum you need is a handful. I've no disrespect to the more-endowed women, but I think attention needs to be turned in appreciation to the smaller breasted gals for what they have."
"So who do you choose?" I heard from the side.
"Her." And I pointed towards April. "She gets my vote."
Later that morning, after the assembly had dispersed, April came to my room and gave me a kiss ... along with a handful.