It was never going to be the right thing to do. I knew it. But just occasionally something crosses your path that leaves you completely breathless and powerless to resist. The first time I was introduced to Mr Unavailable the 3rd he had just stepped into middle management at my work. It was before the Christmas holidays, but it wasn't until I came back from leave that I saw him with the eyes of a freshly and unrepentantly single woman. It started a fire in my belly that I shouldn't have fanned. It was a mistake to let my eyes wander every time he passed my desk. It would have been wiser to hide the smoulder in my gaze whenever I exploited a reason to visit his office. And the day we made eye contact in the corridor and he winked, well, maybe I shouldn't have melted quite so thoroughly, or so visibly! But I did. And it was at that point that the rollercoaster surged away from the station and the bar came down, irrevocably holding me in my seat until the ride was over. I don't think I minded one bit.
Those early days are like a fine glass of pinot noir to me now. Something I savour like a complex palate on my tongue. Staring through the glass at the blood red swirl, my thoughts swirl, and then I'm standing, leaning an elbow on the document destruction bin, talking to some sales guy about drafting a policy on driver responsibility in company cars.
I instantly register that he's stepped out of his office and is coming closer, but I try not to show the sales guy that my attention has shifted. It's hard. He's wearing a long sleeved pale blue business shirt with a hint of white stripe, and his ever-present tie is a dark blue today. The subtle pin stripe in his charcoal suit pants shows his muted style, and the slightly loose, chunky silver watch at his wrist brings the whole picture together as quietly successful. I realise he's looking at me. Not even caring if I've just started glowing, I invite his input into the fleet car discussion, mostly so I can keep looking back at him. His dark hair is cut above his ears and collar, but long enough to fall into slight side part. His eyes are dark too, but balanced by the disarmingly pale skin of his face. As the conversation ebbs and flows my gaze readily shifts back and forth between the two men. I take the opportunity to steal glimpses of his broad shoulders, his arms are thick at the bicep and his hands are so strong and expressive. A mobile phone rings. The sales rep answers. Did it just get warm in here?
As the sales guy excuses himself to take the call we continue talking about the specific incident of a car theft the night before. I'm not being entirely selfish when I ask if we could discuss it confidentially in his office. He turns back the way he came and from behind his behind is a whole new vision to behold. I could swear it was designed purely to be desired. In his office he sits in one of the two visitors chairs on the near side of his desk. I close the door and take the other chair. Another domino inside me falls.
So we sat, almost squarely facing each other, and talked for half an hour. The conversation was fluid, comfortable, and compelling. We ranged across various topics and I remember feeling surprised and elated by his unhurried charm. I was equally surprised by the cold prickle as my eyes were drawn again and again to the portrait of his wife and four children on the desk. Now why should that be?
So I came to my senses and took control of my imagination; the end. Not! I can curse myself the whole day long, but my inability to resist temptation is a recurring pattern and it's no newsflash to anyone that knows me. Nonetheless I didn't imagine that wink. Every chance meeting in the lunch room, every greeting in the hall, every time we looked at each other his body language made me feel as though I'd just been embraced in those powerful arms. I may have started the fire, but the heat was rising every time he added to the fuel.
I found my mind wandering as I filed stacks of registration certificates to thoughts of my fingers in his hair, by lips brushing his neck, my hand taking an eternity to travel from his shoulder blades, switching from side to side while following the muscles down the deep curve of his back, to finally take a firm grip on one perfectly formed buttock. I imagine he is somewhere out in the field, riding shotgun on a sales expedition, his mind wandering along a similar line during a lull in the conversation between site visits. He tries to keep cool while I trace fingertips across his chest, his neck, and his sides. Internal conflict furrows his brow and he turns to look out the passenger side window. Despite the knife edge he's poised on, he mentally shrugs. It's just a daydream. My fingers trace around his ribs as I move both hands together, palms flat to the small of his back. His chest is firmly pressed against mine. We're face to face and breathing faster. He tilts his head just so slightly and brings a gentle hand up to my chin.
With a sigh he draws me slowly to his lips and the velvet softness of his kiss damns us both. His mouth opens slightly and the flick of his tongue on my lips opens a hunger only one thing will satisfy. His caresses on my cheek become more demanding, his hands take a hold of the back of my neck and he pulls me even closer. I can only respond with my hips and hands, squeezing him in between the two. The heat in our kiss is burning him up. He pulls back to take a breath and look me in the eye. I rest my hands on his muscled shoulders. My half-lidded gaze denies that this is point of no return, but with an almost imperceptible shake of the head he comes to a decision. His eyes follow his finger tips as they trace from below my ears, over my collar bones, to softly stroke the sides of my breasts. He teases and flicks and I start to ache for him. I moan as he takes each breast in his hands and firmly rolls my nipples in a pinch. I wonder if his eyes just rolled back in his head. Mine did.
I remember that day as the day I came to the full realisation of the heat in my passion. The next day I was handing out the Friday beers when I dropped into his office. It was our first out-loud flirt. He called me his new favourite. I told him I'd missed him while he was out the day before. It wasn't until later I wondered if I should have spared a glance for that same sales rep who was there too. Later we talked as he packed up his laptop and I asked him how things were going. He let his frustration show and I guess I'm just a typical girl because I wanted to rush over there and hold him. That was when we were discussing conflicting feedback about a recent conference. He said the most magic words of all. I'll always tell you the truth. I said the same back to him. I added that I thought this was going to work. Was that when he realised I was serious, or was it two days later when I lingered in the doorway in such a way that his arm brushed my breast. And I smiled.
Probably it would all have come to nothing, just a fantasy to keep me warm at night, if that hadn't been when the netball season started. Our workplace has a mixed team in the local competition at the sports ground over the road. When I found out he played defence I silently cheered. He gave me an easily readable look when I asked if he wanted to warm up together. I don't even know if anyone realised what was going on. I couldn't see anything past his delts, or the glisten of sweat on his neck. He marked me so close I could feel his heat. Goal. Our team won that day. And after the cheers came the showers. Then back to work. But he caught me looking, again and again. No surprise he fell in step with me as we left for the day. He told me he'd arranged dinner with a client who'd cancelled on him. All I could do was take a deep breath. All I could say was yes. He asked if I was free. I had to repeat myself.
My whole body felt naked and my clothes were just teasing me. The restaurant he'd booked was inside a hotel, so we drove there separately. I found him sitting at the bar closest to reception but as I came near he stood and led me around to a high table in the back. He carried two beer bottles. I remember wondering if he'd done this before, then dismissed the thought because I realised I didn't care. We sat, knees touching, and after a few moments he rested his hand on my thigh. I contrived to make a comment about his stress levels lately so I could trace a finger down his cheek. The desire in his eyes took the smile off my face and I felt my leg press harder against his hand. It made my skirt ride up a little and he caught sight of my tattoo. It restarted the conversation and the heat returned to a slow burn. I didn't know how much longer I could hold this feeling down. We chatted. We laughed. We slowly edged closer and closer. His hand was on my back and mine was lightly stroking his thigh when conversation lulled and we both sighed at the same time. We didn't laugh. He held out his hand for mine and reached into his pocket with the other. He put a room key in my palm and closed both of his over it, looking into my eyes with such a mixture of feeling that I felt I was simultaneously soaring and plummeting. I gazed back for a long moment, and then breathed a soft yes.
We took our time walking across the lobby, and lingered in the lift just smiling and softly talking. We still held hands, but gently, knowing this was to be savoured and the rush would come soon enough. Once through the door of the room he turned to face me, his patience suddenly snatched away. His hands wrapped around my waist and I pressed my back to the door. My hands flew to the back of his neck and drew him in close to me. He responded with his whole body against mine and I felt an ache open up inside me. We paused and shared each other's breath while we so slightly moved our bodies against each other. And then softly, slowly our lips came together. First the breathtaking silky gentleness of tenderly brushing our lips together, then the thrilling flick of tongues unlocking each other's mouth. And at last the heated rush of passion as we opened ourselves to the deep insistence of the kiss.
As the ache in my belly intensified my body made my desire clear. Our hips together, I felt him hard against my inside thigh. The thrill was like electricity, making my nipples tingle against his chest. I wanted us skin to skin and my hands went to work on his tie. It fell to the floor and I started on his shirt buttons. My lips made to follow my hands and I kissed my way down his neck as he stepped back. I took a deep breath and tried to slow my headlong rush. I wanted to enjoy this. With his shirt open to the waist I stepped around behind him to lift it off his shoulders. As he was shrugging out of the sleeves I pulled the shirt tight, pinning his elbows to his sides. He was helpless to stop me as I lightly kissed his neck. I released his shirt and with agonising slowness traced my hands the length of his arms. I put his hands on my thighs as I pressed my chest to his back, and then began to lightly caress his chest. I took my time drawing circles on his pecs, dipping to his belly now and then. As my circles dipped lower and lower his hands tightened on my thighs. I felt his fingers start creeping into the space between us. I wanted to flick his hands away but my body betrayed me by giving him room to move, and gratefully slid forward into his grip when his hands slipped between my thighs. He pressed into my flesh but the more I wanted of his hands, the tighter my skirt pulled, forcing him away. I reluctantly gave up the power of standing behind him, and as he finished taking off his shirt I led him over to the chair.
Holding both his hands, I sat down facing him. I could feel his pulse through my fingers. He was looking at me with a mixture of tenderness and awe. That made me so hot. I reached for his belt and pulled him closer, hitching my skirt up to my hips so he was standing between my thighs. I kissed his belly as I undid his pants, pressing against his hard cock with my palms. I heard him moan quietly as I slid my hand inside his open zipper. With his briefs still between us I put my mouth over his head and let his pants fell to the floor. Slowly teasing his cock through the fabric with my teeth, I first flicked the waistband of his briefs a few times before pulling them down with both hands. I caught his head in my mouth whole. I savoured his small groans of pleasure as I squeezed with my mouth and flicked my tongue stud across the underside. His hands came up to stroke my cheeks and play in my hair. He was so gentle that I had to hold his hips and pull him towards me to show him he should move. His moans got louder as he set the rhythm and I encouraged him to go deeper, sucking every time he drew back and leaning into him as he pressed forward. I teased him by going slower than he was, but when he was deepest in my throat I swallowed down on his head. I felt his legs start to twitch and I knew he wasn't going to take much more of the rock star treatment, so I slowed right down. I counted to ten for each stroke and held him tight, but even so I was playing with fire, so I kissed his gorgeous cock goodbye and stood up to hold him while he caught his breath. I smiled as I realised he was whispering my name over and over.
When he'd got a hold of himself again he stepped out of his clothes and smiled his trademark smile. Wow, he said and we grinned at each other. As our smiles fell away he pulled me in to a gentle embrace and kissed me again. Softly at first, and I ached at the tenderness in his lips, feeling his powerful arms holding me so lightly made me melt. I touched his face and all at once wanted to be a part of him. He must have sensed the desire in my kiss because his hands set about undressing me instantly. My skirt fell to the floor easily, and our kiss was interrupted by my shirt being pulled off over my head, then I was standing in just my underwear. He stepped back, holding my hands, to look me up and down with that same mixed look of tenderness and awe while I tried not to be self conscious of my workday bra. Then I forgot all about it as he led me to the bed.
He turned me to face him and put one arm around my waist to draw me into a hungry kiss. My breath caught straight away. He fumbled with my bra for a moment and then we were skin to skin at last. He slid my underpants down and I stepped out of them. I could feel his want as if it was radiating from his skin. He held me tight against his chest while one hand roamed between my cheek, my neck, the side of my breast, my hip, my back, my bum, then all the way back. I squirmed for the thrill of it and his cock stiffened against my belly. I grinned as I slid up and down his body, pressing into his skin and enjoying silken sensation.
Then he held me by the shoulders and his eyes burned. He said my name. I nearly leapt right out of my skin. I breathed his name in return and said yes. He sighed.
Holding me behind my shoulder blades, he leaned forward to put his other hand on the bed behind me. I clung to him, feeling like I could cry or laugh or both at once. We shuffled backwards up the bed until we were laying full length. He kissed me again and I crossed my arms behind his neck, kissing him back with all the heat I'd been building since that wink. I wanted him on top of me. I wanted him inside me. I slid first one knee and then the other to the outside of his knees. We locked eyes as his cock parted my wet lips and he shivered as he pushed up inside me. I moaned so long it turned into a growl. An intense desire completely overtook me. I hitched my knees up and put my feet flat on the bed so I could arch my back and grind my clit into his groin while I fucked him back full force. He shut his eyes against the pleasure but I could hear him whispering my name again. It sent me over the edge. I wanted him to fuck me hard, I wanted him to fuck me deep, and I wanted him to come, out of breath and sweating, until there was nothing left. He sat back and lifted my knees over his shoulders. As he slid his throbbing cock back inside me he rubbed his thumb in tight circles around my clit. I couldn't hold back from such intense pleasure. My knees fell far apart and I surrendered to him completely. He thrust so hard into me my head touched the headboard every time. He flicked, tickled, and pinched my clit until my pussy started to spasm. I could only moan. I was going to come. I opened my eyes and he was watching me. I felt like a sex goddess, so hot and wanting more. Then he twisted both my nipples and the world went white.
My eyes were screwed shut and I was panting with an open mouth when I felt his cock suddenly flare inside me and I knew he was going to come too. I peeked at him as he threw his head back, moaning through clenched teeth. Then he grabbed me around the waist, hammering his cock into me as he blew everything he had deep inside me while I still throbbed from my own orgasm.
As we both fell back to earth, we landed in each other's arms. It was complete bliss.