Older, Sadder, Wiser

I learned later that he never held back and came almost as quickly as me. The onset of orgasm for him was always marked by an in-drawn breath, then "Uh … uh" as he felt the tightening deep in his groin which is the preparation for ejaculation. Just before this his hand would lightly cup his balls, so I always knew when he was about to cum.

After that, to avoid suspicion at work, I couldn't go round to his place every Thursday afternoon but as my daughter almost always went out shopping with her friends on Saturday afternoons we found that we could sometimes meet at my home at that time. Friday evenings were also possible as both my children usually went out while I did some of the preparation for weekend meals. We only met once a week, ringing the changes on the days so that my secretary at work could not perceive any routine meetings which would make her suspicious and maybe get back to my wife. Jeff enjoyed coming to my house as much I did going to his, though he was always a little nervous that my children would arrive unexpectedly. Fortunately, though we had an excuse prepared for his being in the house, they never did.

And so, for just over a year, we met on a weekly basis. I did see Fred (in our usual way) at Christmas but that was only the once. Jeff and I found most happiness in lying together in the bed and caressing each other gently until we were on edge. I learned in time that his first need, having been starved of it as a child, was for affection. He had spent his early life striving for love from his mother and it had left its mark. Love was even more important to him in the long run than sexual excitement and I felt and gave him plenty of both. I continued to use the Builders Merchants where he worked and managed to complete the kitchen enlargement project. When he served me at the payment desk not a flicker on either side betrayed our relationship. He had my phone number at work but with instructions to use it only in an emergency. It was quite a shock when, for the first time, he did.

It was a Monday morning soon after I had arrived at work that he phoned. He was very distressed. His grandfather had been taken into hospital at the weekend. He was taking time off work to sort things out but it looked as if the old man had had a second stroke. He had phoned his mother and would contact me when he knew more. I tried to comfort him but he was inconsolable and I knew I would have to wait for him to feel right about meeting me again. In the meantime I felt deeply sorry for him but powerless to help.

More than a week went by without contact, then he phoned again to say his mother was staying with him and his grandfather had been released from hospital so that he could die peacefully in his own home. Again he sounded very distressed and there was little I could do to comfort him. A week later I read in the local paper that his grandfather had died and that the funeral would be held a few days later. I had never met the old man but in a funny sort of way, because Jeff was so fond of him, I had become fond of him too.

A fortnight later Jeff phoned for a third time. His mother had returned to London and his grandfather had left him some money and the house in his will. He was still too upset to want to meet me but he suggested that I might like to meet one of his friends instead. "You mean for sex?" I asked, somewhat shaken.

"It's a long story" Jeff said, and went on to explain how his mate at work, Chris, was circumstanced. Apparently he and Jeff had been intimate a few times. Chris was married with an eight-year-old daughter but his wife, a school teacher, was so scared about having another baby that when she did, she was so frigid that it was no fun for him. She allowed him to make love to her once a month shortly before her menstrual period so that there was no chance of conception and even then Chris had to wear a rubber and she wore a cap. Moreover she was jealous of him and since she was better paid than he was, she drove the family car (which she always referred to as "her" car) while he walked to work. He was, however, very fond of his daughter. For all these reasons he couldn't play away from home with other women, so knowing that Jeff was probably gay, he had asked him about it and one thing had led to another and they had met at Chris's house one Sunday afternoon when his missus had taken their daughter to see her mother thirty miles away.

"I think you would like him," said Jeff. "He doesn't say much but he's… er .. very masculine."

I thought of the row that Jeff had told me of, when he had caught his former long-time boyfriend with a younger man; but then I recollected that Jeff's anger had been for the secrecy of the two-timing. And here he was, with unusual generosity, openly encouraging a relationship which would help two of his friends.

"I'm not sure, Jeff," I said. "It's you I want to be with."

"I need to get things straight in the house and get over Granddad's death, first. I'm not leaving you, Urlen, but I need time."

I understood – and reluctantly agreed that he should give my phone number to Chris, whom I remembered as the monosyllabic, not very tall shop assistant in the white coat who had relieved Jeff at the pay desk when Jeff had first excited my interest.

A few days later, and to my very great surprise, Chris phoned to suggest a meeting – but that's chapter 14 in these little adventures of my life!