tagReviews & EssaysOn Being a Busty Feminist Slut

On Being a Busty Feminist Slut

bynaivesluts©

It has been an almost exclusively positive experience writing for Literotica so far. I'm so glad I finally starting writing my own stories after years of only reading and anonymously commenting. I've had more feedback than I expected, and as such I've started to notice some trends in some of the questions and comments I get.

Along with compliments and constructive criticism, there are two very common responses. The first is "are you anything like the girls you write about?". The second is "you write like a dude". I actually find both of these things very loaded and extremely interesting and they're very much tied to things I am either very interested in or feel quite strongly about. So let's tackle those things one at a time. Be careful, I expect a lot of tangents.

The first tangent relates to the "type of girls I write about" in the physical sense. So often I hear the term "unrealistic" used to describe a girl with very large breasts with a relatively thin waist. I take issue with that term. I think "uncommon" is a far more fair word to use.

Just like women should never be shamed for being flat or short or tall or heavy, the same goes for women of my body type. In fact, big boobs and a small waist is so synonymous with the "unrealistic" body type now that I find myself worse off for it in terms of the judgement I receive. From my experience, men tend to assume I'm stupid and entitled, and women tend to assume I'm shallow and slutty (although the latter shouldn't be a negative thing, but more on that later). This is all because of the way I naturally look.

My breasts are also constantly "accused" of being implants by other women. My breasts are natural, but I don't think a woman should be shamed for implants either. We have a hard enough time not being taking seriously by men and being shamed by them, we shouldn't have to have a civil gender war. Implants -- like our makeup and clothes -- are not in existence for the sake of men. Sure, it's nice to be noticed by other people and obviously that's part of it (for some more than others) but that is not the driving force behind trying to look nice or being in control of looking the way I want to look.

I'm aware that the following story is only anecdotal evidence, but it's a common experience for me. I had some free time this afternoon and decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather and take a walk around downtown of the fairly large city in which I live.

Now, while I identify as straight -- I've only ever been with men and so far the idea of a relationship with another woman hasn't interested me -- I do find myself checking out women as often as men. And, you know, for an "unrealistic body size" I sure saw a lot of crazy-big boobs on small bodies today. Many of whom also had very attractive faces. And while I'm not really familiar with how implants look, I am familiar with how natural breasts look, and my guess is that not very many of the pairs I saw in my relatively short walk were fake.

I haven't always been, but these days I'm very happy with the way I look. However, I agree that there is not an ultimate or ideal body type and that we should only aspire to look the way we want to look. Whatever makes us feel comfortable and happy and healthy. But gals, if we're in this together (and I'd like to think we are), we ALL have to be in this together. Sure it's frustrating that the media idolizes a certain body type, but that doesn't mean that women who actually HAVE that body type should be shamed for it.

Whew! There's one major tangent out of the way. Now, having said all that, it is far more true that the type of women I tend to write about ARE very unrealistic in terms of their behaviour and certainly the situations I put them in range from highly implausible to literally impossible.

With all that as set-up, my answer to the initial question of "are you anything like the girls you write about?" is a resounding "absolutely". And the answer is also "definitely not at all".

Physically I am short and thin and very busty. Anybody who has read my stories will recognize that body type. Yet, hopefully anybody reading this can discern that I'm also not a raging idiot like most of the women in my stories. So now we get closer to the seemingly contradictory (but actually not-at-all) title of this essay. I consider myself to be quite strong and bright, and while I'm certainly a feminist (as anybody should be really, the definition is literally "equality"; it's not a dirty word), my sexual fantasies tend to revel in me being submissive, playing dumb, being taken advantage of, and being called names.

At this point, it's very important that I frame context around those preferences of mine. Context is a supremely important thing that most people seem to forget about around these sorts of topics. I think that in reality, taking advantage of women or degrading them is unacceptable behaviour. To truly feel that women are inferior -- sexually or otherwise -- is sexism in its most base form. However, with a consensual respectful lover, these can be fun and cathartic roles to play. My sexual partner doesn't have to genuinely think I'm a useless whore to call me one in bed. In fact, I would argue that NOT exploring these fantasies in a healthy way is a way more likely way to turn the fantasies into actual unhealthy thoughts. With the right person, sex can be a safe and fun way to live out really depraved ideas.

And because my stories are just stories and just fantasy (as I like to point out over and over again), I don't need the framing and context of a real-life human relationship. I can just present the characters as characters. They don't need to be characters participating in consensual fiction because it is already fiction. It's another form of catharsis for me.

While some busty girls are late bloomers, that was not the case for me. I started developing breasts and growing pubic hair very early (I had just turned 9). Thankfully, my parents handled it very well for a young me who was not emotionally ready for my maturing body. Not-so-thankfully, other of the adult "role models" in my life were more interested in my body than in my healthy development as a human being. Luckily, I have no true horror stories like way-too-many other women do, but I was certainly forced to grow up faster in some ways than I would have preferred. I know these things have an effect on my sexuality. But I used to be ashamed of my large breasts. I used to feel self-conscious and embarrassed by them. I used to think I was fucked up for the fantasies that went on in my head. Now I have power over them. I know how to deal with my complicated relationship with my body and childhood in healthy ways.

I guess those fantasies of mine have something to do with why so many people tend to think I "write like a dude", but I suspect it has more to do with that topic of "slut" that I wanted to return to. My desperate defence of the word "slut" as a descriptor -- not an insult -- is actually tightly tied to my beliefs as a feminist. Luckily I'm not the only one, and SlutWalk is a worldwide cause that sums up a lot of my thoughts on the matter.

Far too often as women, our own sexuality is used against us. We're made to feel ashamed for being sexual. It's the origin of the Madonna/Whore complex (men who think the woman who they own a house with and raise children with has to be different from the woman they fuck the shit out of in depraved ways). It's the reason for the double standard that makes men heroes for sleeping around while making women chastised for having the same habits.

Not to say that all women should be fucking everything they see, but rather that women's sexuality is as varied and valid as men's sexuality. There's nothing wrong with the woman who waits for marriage, and there's nothing wrong with the woman who sucks a different dick every night (provided the latter case is very careful with safety and communication. Condoms for blowjobs are okay, folks!)

So I think it is because I am a proud slut that I give off the impression that I "write like a dude". It is such an unfortunately common thing for men (and women) to expect men to be the perverts and women to want the careful caresses and romance. Certainly there are many cases of both men and women wanting all sorts of degrees of both those things.

So I guess this essay exists to give some detailed insight to the plentiful number of people who ask those common questions and let both men and women know that there is certainly such a thing as a busty feminist slut.

So fellow ladies, don't disrespect other women for their sexual choices or their bodies or their clothing. That's what's wonderful about this world, everybody is so gloriously different. Just because someone does something drastically different than you doesn't mean that either what they choose OR what you choose is wrong.

And men, don't disrespect women.

...Unless she explicitly asks you to within a safe well-established frame of rules under an understood fantasy.

Also men, just because sluts definitely exist and should exist does not mean any girl you see or interact with is EVER your property. Just because I love to suck cock and drink cum and talk dirty definitely does NOT mean that my body belongs to you or that I am worth less than you. Take a hard look at your beliefs. I'd recommend really being secure in the thought that us women are your sexual equals before being okay with pretending we're not in any sexual fun.

That felt good! Hopefully it shreds some light on my subject matter and writing style. Please leave any discussion in the comments respectful, whether or not you're agreeing with me or anybody else.

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by Anonymous

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by Anonymous10/25/14

Unfortunately you really are a feminist.

Halfe way through your essay I thought "that girl obviously doesn't know what a feminist is". But then there it was : selfish demands against other women but especially against men. Demand as much asmore...

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by bastardofriva06/29/14

well said

I think you make some wonderful points. people get so worked up about things without taking them in the right context all the time. acting out a fantasy between two consenting adults can be the healthiestmore...

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by Anonymous04/09/14

A new perspective

Thank you for voicing these thoughts, a new perspective is always interesting to see. I like understanding peoples thought processes and reasons for being, thank you for your expressions:D

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