One Love, Many Lovers

My torrid affair with Derrick continued for over a year. So far as I knew, he was exclusive with me as I was with him. He was both my stud and my tender, sensitive, and affectionate lover – and these qualities satisfied me in the main. I qualify that because during that time it became increasingly clear that my dear husband James had discovered that he did in fact have a sexuality. While not fully understanding his enjoyment of the photos of me, I saw to it that his 'album' was regularly updated with erotic photos. And if I missed more than a week or two, the album would appear on my nightstand – a clear indication that he wanted me to provide more visuals to stir his newfound desires. I was always glad to accommodate him and saw to it that Andrew would photograph me alone or with Derrick. Andrew actually had quite well developed visual sensibilities and an erotic appreciation for my body. He photographed me often, in many venues, with Derrick and alone. I of course knew that he wanted me but I was for the time unwilling to revisit our sexual connection. I was trying hard to be monogamous. But I thought about him – often. Andrew was so imaginative in suggesting different venues and poses when he photographed me alone. Though I loved Derrick, it never failed to excite me to make love to Andrew's camera. Yes, I still had an itch for him. Can you blame me? Derrick was a beautiful, black man and I was the envy of every woman at the gym who knew that he was my lover. And he was absolutely gorgeous and satisfied me sexually and emotionally. But I grew restless...and Andrew was increasingly on my mind. I knew that as Don had guided me years before in discovering my sexuality, Andrew could take me to new and exciting places. I simply had to allow him, but I was not quite ready.

And James grew bolder in time. He finally worked up the nerve one evening to discuss the 'album' with me and to share his deeper desires. Our children were with my parents one Friday evening and we were relaxing on the patio with drinks after work. James and I always enjoyed such quiet times together. But I could tell something was on his mind, so I reached over and touched his hand, to let him know that I loved him and knew he wanted to talk. He always appreciated my show of caring.

"What's on your mind, sweetie?" I asked as I lightly held his hand in mine.

James struggled as he always did to find words to express his deeper feelings but finally looked at me, took a deep breath, and just shared his thoughts.

"I've enjoyed looking at the photos of you with Derrick." He seemed embarrassed but my touch told him that it was all fine. "I guess you know that."

"Yes, I do. I hope that what I've shared with you hasn't been too much."

"No, it's been wonderful. It excites me to see you – well, you know, that way. Thank you for all of the photos. They're...well, I don't know how to put it, but it makes me glad to be your husband."

I melted with love for James. "I wouldn't want any other man as my husband. You're the love of my life." He seemed very pleased, as he knew that I meant it.

"May I ask you a question?"

"Of course you may!"

"Who took all those photos of you with Derrick?"

James had obviously been thinking about that pointed question for a long time. And I had never been anything other than honest with him, so I answered him honestly. "He's another trainer at the gym. His name is Andrew."

"Have you been with him?" His eyes could not meet mine. And I wanted him to do just that. I hesitated for just a moment.

"Yes, I have." And then I told him more. "He's the one who has taken the pictures of me by myself."

"Are you still sleeping with him?"

"No. I'm only sleeping with Derrick now."

"Well, I don't understand then. Does Derrick know that Andrew is seeing you naked like that? Doesn't it bother him?" James looked thoughtful and then continued, "Do you still want Andrew?"

And to that I had no answer. I really didn't, for Derrick didn't know. I was trapped. But I had never lied to James before and I wasn't going to start now.

"Yes, I still want Andrew." I felt awful and sluttish. James had quickly found my dark secret – which shouldn't have surprised me as he knew and loved me so well.

"Then why do you not have sex with him?" I had no answer. I knew in an instant that I did in fact want to have sex with Andrew. I looked at James with such love, wondering how I had ever been so lucky to find a man who knew me so well. He patted my hand and continued. "I can tell from his photographs that he is totally taken with you and 'gets' you. I knew someone was. And I knew that it wasn't Derrick."

"How did you know?" I asked wonderingly.

James chuckled. "Intuition, I guess. You think that I am so naïve, Claire. But I'm really not. I knew before you did that you possessed an intense sexuality and that men would fall all over themselves for you. I couldn't..." and he looked away from me and dropped my hand, "give you what a man should give to the woman he loves." He took a moment to compose himself. "So, I just decided that I would learn to be okay with that. And I have, you know! I mean, you spent all of those years with Don and all and now Derrick and I don't know who else..." He started to sob. I moved to him and just held him.

"Yes, you really have," I said, "and you've been the most amazing husband and best friend to me. I love you so much!" I let him cry and just held him. Then, he wiped his eyes and showed me how truly well he knew and loved me.

"You should do what you want and be with whom you want. Forget the rules." His voice was firm and he looked me straight in the eye. "Go and live life on your own terms. Get what you want."

I was stunned – and then delighted. James knew even before I did what I wanted. And I wanted more than Derrick. I kissed him flush on the lips and didn't allow him to pull back. And then I asked him what I had wanted to know from the first day he seen the 'album'. "What do you want, James?"

His answer was immediate. "I want to see you with another man. I want to see you naked. I want to see you with Andrew – a man who desires you and is compelled by you. I want to see you with a man who is worthy of you." His eyes pleaded with me. "Is he....worthy...you know....oh god, I don't know how to say it."

"Yes," I answered," understanding. "Andrew is very 'worthy'. He's very, very well endowed, if that's what you're asking – much larger than Derrick. Is that what you mean?"

"Yes," he was relieved that I understood him. "Does he perform better than Derrick?"

I answered truthfully. "Yes, but I don't love him like I love Derrick."

"I want to see you with Andrew. I want to give you to a man who is as captivated by you as I am. Please, Claire, do this for me."

I couldn't say no. I didn't want to say no. I realized that although I loved Derrick, my love for James and my wish to please him was on a totally higher level. And I realized fundamentally that the only man whose love I required was his. It felt instantly liberating to know that my craving for Andrew was far more satisfying than the connection I had with Derrick, who, while a better boyfriend, could not truly supply me with the deeper devotion I felt for James. If I had James in my soul and Andrew between my legs, my life would be perfect.

"Yes, sweetie, very, very soon. I will make that happen." And then for the first time in his life he kissed me with abandon. And I kissed him back. When I sought to touch him between his legs, he recoiled.

"Please, don't. I'm...I'm...embarrassed by that. Please understand."

I didn't understand, not really. I would have gladly given my body to him. But he didn't want that, at least not in the way I was willing to offer him. But he did want me. He wanted me to be with Andrew. "I do understand. And I will rock your world." And he sighed deeply as I kissed him. We spent the night together in the same bed, something we almost never did. I made something of a show of myself, brazenly coming to bed naked and smelling fresh and sweet after showering. James made a show of being asleep but I knew that he had stolen glances of my body and I was so very glad that he did. I made no move to hold him as I slipped naked under the clean, fresh sheets. At first he made no movement towards me, but after a few minutes he moved next to me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

I lay very still, though I touched his hand. Then, I felt his hand touch my breasts; tentatively at first and then more assertively. It felt amazing, to at last feel my husband caressing me. I responded with a deep sigh, as it did feel nice. James was helping himself to my ample chest and as he did, I felt him move his groin next to me. I felt his erection press into my buttocks. I knew as he did so that his sex was very small indeed and that he had removed his underpants. James made no move to enter me, though certainly I would have allowed him that. He hunched me slowly and soon I felt him give a small groan and felt his diminutive cock spasm. For a man so small endowed, I was surprised at the volume of his ejaculate, which coated my ass and seeped onto the sheets. I was incredibly pleased that he had at last been sexual with me. Without a word, he rolled to his side, away from me, and slept. I did as well, seeking a nice dry spot away from the wet spot he had left behind.

I made no mention of the surprising events of the night before as we went about a pleasant Saturday with the children. It did please me that he was more physical with me, holding my hand and kissing me during the day. When we had tucked the angels into bed, we withdrew to the familiar comforts of our patio, sharing a drink and small talk. It was James who broke the ice.

"I've wanted to touch you like that for a long time, Claire. I'm sorry I got carried away."

"Sweetie, I'm your wife. And I loved you touching me. And I loved that you came. Don't you know that you can do that whenever you want?"

"No, I really didn't." He struggled for the words. "I just want to experience your body sometimes. And I do want to see you naked more. You are so beautiful."

"My body is yours whenever you want it," I said turning to him as I reached to touch his hand. "You can have all of me, you know. Is that what you want?"

James blushed and stammered a bit before telling me what it was that he truly wanted. "I want to be more physical with you...but..."

"But what, sweetie?"

"I feel ashamed about how small I am." I started to speak, but he stopped me. "No, its okay. Really. I don't need to be inside of you, like Derrick or Andrew or Don. But I want to hold you and touch you." Then he paused. "And I really want to watch you."

"You mean, watch me with another man?"

"Yes." His answer was quick and definitive. So was mine.

"I promise to make that happen, and soon." As I leaned over to kiss him, his hand sought my breast. I knew what he wanted, so I stood up and made something of a show of removing my clothes. James was transfixed, his eyes scanning my body as I brazenly bared my body to him. I stood next to him in his chair but he made no move to touch me, and I wanted him to touch me, so I gently took his hand and placed it on my thigh. He began to caress me as he sat up, his hands now stroking my legs and caressing my ass. I was alive with desire. And then he sought out my sex, tentatively at first and then more confidently. My pussy was soaked with my feminine juices.

"You're so beautiful, Claire, and so wet. Your body is ready and receptive for a man to enter you. That's what you want right now, isn't it?"

"Yes, I want to be fucked. I'm ready to be fucked."

"You need to be fucked, Claire." I was stunned at his skill in working my pleasure spot and I moaned in appreciation as he did so. "Tell me truthfully who do you want right now to be fucking you?"

"Oh god, I want Andrew inside of me! I can't help wanting him! No man makes me cum like Andrew!" And I wanted James to continue to pleasure me as he was doing so expertly. I was completely gone in my sluttish need to be pleasured.

James was beside himself, whipped into a sexual frenzy as he helped himself to my charms. His breathing was labored and with one hand he was vigorously stroking his cock underneath his shorts while with the other he mauled my exposed pussy. "God, Claire, I have to see Andrew mounting you. Do you know how much I want to see you receive his sex...to see him fill you with his sperm...to watch a superior male make you cum...oh, please, please...do this for me..." And then he groaned and spasmed as he came in his shorts and I came as well, the two of us sharing an incredible moment of release together.

My legs buckled and I fell in a heap beside James, my body heaving with a release such as I had never experienced before. I laid my head against James' chest and saw that his shorts were soaked with cum, and I was thrilled. We had found, after all of our years together, a sexual connection. And I finally understood what James was about sexually. He was a submissive, a cuckold; and required both my strength and sexuality to take satisfy his cravings.

This was a strange but exciting new territory for both of us. Over the next few weeks we together discussed, shared, and found common ground as we explored this shift in our relationship. It brought us closer together than ever before. We took joy in our newfound sexual connection. I saw to it that James saw me naked whenever the situation allowed, welcoming his touch and admiration. He confessed to thoughts of wanting to be inside of me and shame in being so inadequately endowed. I knew from my online research into cuckoldry that his deepest desire was to yield and submit to my sexuality. And he needed to hear from me in no uncertain terms that I would never allow him to penetrate me.

One evening, as I prepared to join James in bed, I took a deep breath after I had freshened up at my dressing table. I stood up and strode up next to him as he lay there with the covers over him.

"I want to see your penis. Now."

James was startled. This was the moment of truth. If what I understood about his nature was true, I was about to own him. He needed that and so did I.

"Please, no. I...I...can't show you."

"Do it now. I mean it!" My voice was both firm and harsh. He complied, slowly pulling down the covers and for the first time in my life, I saw him naked. I was fascinated and appalled. His penis was more akin to the nub of an eraser than a cock. And he was erect. In that moment, I understood why he had never been sexual with me. He was completely inadequate sexually. I wanted to comfort him, to let him know that it didn't matter to me, and truly it didn't. But I knew that he needed something quite different from me in this defining moment of truth.

"I would never allow a dicklet like that inside of me. You have to accept that. I need a real man like Andrew. I deserve a real man. Do you understand? I will never allow you to fuck me."

And his pathetic excuse for a cock actually swelled slightly, and secretly I was glad. I had found his button. "Yes, truly I do."

"Good," I replied, "now you may touch me if you wish. And you may get yourself off, only keep your worthless cum away from my treasure." With that, James began stroking himself furiously as he fondled me. Within seconds his penis spurt jets of cum. I swear I don't know how James could generate such an abundant volume of ejaculate from his diminutive sex organs. But his orgasm sent veritable geysers of cum into the air. And I truthfully never wanted a drop of it to ever enter my body, though I was so pleased that I had found the key to giving him pleasure.

I gave James a towel and told him to clean up his mess, which he did, his eyes never leaving me as I stood before him, allowing him to soak in my beauty and my power. God, I needed to be fucked as all of this had turned me on so much. And I knew for a certainty that it was Andrew I wanted between my legs, not Derrick. I basked in both my power and my desire as I watched James clean himself. I knew my path now.

I slipped under the covers, careful to avoid his leavings. James moved next to me and I let him make the next move.

"You still love me, after seeing that?" My heart melted but I knew while he needed my tenderness, he needed my firmness even more.

"I will always love you. And I will never leave you. I will always be your wife. And there are no longer any secrets between us." And, really, there weren't. "I need a real man inside of me and you will give me to him. You will give me to Andrew. And you will have to watch him give me what you cannot."

"And Derrick?"

"I am done with Derrick, James. I don't need his love any longer. I have yours. I have your devotion, which is all I require from you – that, and your submission. Do you understand?"

"I do. God, Claire, you do understand me, don't you?"

"I do, sweetie. I really do. And I will see that you get what you and I both want. You will watch Andrew with me. You will watch him fuck and inseminate me with his superior maleness. You will give my body to him."

James began to cry. At first I thought he was upset, but his were tears of joy. "Please make that happen, Claire. I love you so much." I kissed him as his hands sought my body.

I had thought that my parting from Derrick would be difficult, but really it was quite easy. He was obviously distraught that I was leaving him, but in a sense, he was as bound to me as James was. He would do anything that I wanted. I was so empowered to know that I had such control. Derrick begged me not to abandon him completely and I told him that perhaps he could be with me on occasion. He readily agreed. The next day, I sidled up to Andrew at the gym and asked him to meet me for coffee. He too readily agreed. He was almost pathetically anxious to reconnect with me.

I laid it all out for him, the terms for him being with me. I told him that I had found a new connection with James who had allowed me to get in touch with my deeper sexual desires. Andrew was at first almost incredulous, asking me about Derrick. I told him that Derrick was no longer an issue. I told him that I wanted him and that he could do with me as he wanted, but I also let him know that about James' needs as well. Andrew was delighted and accepted my terms easily and without a moment's hesitation. We made a 'date' for Saturday, just two days away.

James was thrilled when I told him about the arrangements. He insisted that I buy a new dress for the occasion, so we went out shopping Friday afternoon and found a lovely, provocative little black dress. It felt wonderful to share all of this with James. He told me how lovely I looked and he was right – I did look amazing. The dress showcased my body perfectly, my breasts clearly defined and the length perfectly showcasing my legs. I felt so connect to James, sharing completely my sexuality with him.

Late Saturday afternoon, James watched as I prepared for my tryst with Andrew. We were totally bonded now and his questions about the momentous evening ahead told me that he was as excited as I was. I told him to just be relaxed and be himself. I enjoyed him watching me as I primped for Andrew, though I drew the line at him touching me. That would never do! And he knew it, but I didn't mind his asking. He peppered me with questions about how this would go down and I told him repeatedly to just relax, as Andrew would be cool with all of it. He was so terribly keyed up! But, then again, so was I!

The children were safely with their sitter, whom I'm sure thought nothing of the two of us heading out for a night on the town. She knew that we might not be back until morning, so the night was truly ours. James followed my directions to Andrew's place and we were both terribly keyed up. We both anticipated getting our needs met.