One More Project

"Well Stan, for your information, my husband IS home and NO Stan, I HAVE NOT CHANGED MY MIND! Do not call me anymore. I told you last night, that was wrong and I want no more of that with you."

"Come on Ronnie. That was my first time with you. I can do better than that. We've been flirting for years now. I'm sorry I was a little quick on the trigger but I'll do much better next time." He pleaded. "No one will ever know. I can keep a secret and so can you. What Ken doesn't know will never hurt him."

"Stan, there is NOT going to be a next time! It has nothing to do with how well you did or didn't do! The flirting with you all this time was fun, and that is how it should have stayed. I am ashamed of what I did. I love Ken and I'm petrified that my foolish behavior will hurt him badly. I was angry and hurt and more than a little drunk and I did a very stupid thing. I'm NEVER going to do that again. I hope that when we are together with others around us, you will be discreet, otherwise I'll confess to Ken and hope to hell he'll forgive me, but I won't be responsible for what he does to you."

"O.K., O.K.. I get the message but when Ken is away night after night like before and you're lonely, you may regret this."

"Stan, I already regret what we did. I'm ashamed of what we did and I will not do it again. I have to go. Please respect my wishes. Don't tell anyone and don't call me anymore."

I moved my face and the receiver close to the wall hook and as fast as I heard the click from Ronnie's phone, I hung up. There was still hurt and disappointment in me, but I was happier than I had been since this began.

What I needed now was for Ronnie to trust me enough to tell me.

I went back up to the house just as she drove out of the lane.

For the next few hours I puttered around the house collecting old files and notes that had been left over these recent, very hectic months and disposed of them. While I was doing this, the phone rang. It was Peggy.

"How are you doing Ken? Is everything O.K.?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Please let's keep this quiet. It looks like Ronnie had ended it last night before I even found out about it. I'm hurting more than a little over what she did but I'm going to hang in to see if she trusts me enough to come clean. If not, I don't think I can go on in this marriage with her, but that remains to be seen. By the way, where are you? I thought you guys were going away."

"We decided to stay in case you needed some support."

I had to fight back the tears. "Thanks Peg but I'm O.K. and it may be a bit rough for a while but things look like they may be alright if Ronnie trusts me as much as I need her to. Say, if you guys are around, how about coming out on the weekend? Mandy and Wayne are coming down and I'm still going to give Ronnie the horse. A crowd will help prevent things from getting too weird."

Veronica:

I don't know if it was what Peggy said, as probably no more than a casual comment, that started me on that downward spiral, or, whether it has been in the back of my mind since the beginning.

The beginning was Ken!

I fell in love with him even before we had formally met. We hung out with the same crowd and I hoped and dreamed about getting a chance to date him while he went through a series of women until, once, when it became common knowledge that he and his most recent had broken up, I worked up the courage to call him and offer a shoulder to cry on if he needed it. He asked me out just after that and it became a serious relationship.

I'm sure I knew he was the sort of guy who set goals then worked hard to achieve them, but it took me a while to get used to someone who, if circumstances needed it, would work around the clock two or three days in a row, a guy who would work to a point of exhaustion, to where he was so exhausted he couldn't fall sleep. Seems odd but it was true. Fortunately (for us both) we discovered what it took to get him past that point.

SEX!

I love him and I know he loves me and there were times when what we did would be called "making love" but what it sometimes took was down and out fucking and sucking. It didn't seem to matter too much who did what to whom, if it was frantic and exciting and got him off, it got him to sleep, finally.

Truth told . . . . I loved it and I love him.

Most often he would come home late from work or from a business trip and he would wake me, sometimes with gentle kisses, some times with soft caresses, and most often with his mouth on my pussy where he would patiently work his way all around before getting to the finale. I often came more than once while he would do this, then, once sated from that, I either blew him or rode him to orgasm before we would drift off to sleep.

This sort of activity has declined significantly in recent years but we kept up a pretty hectic pace for more than 20 years before it slowed. Right up until this last project, we were still averaging 8 - 10 times a month.

This LAST project!

A while back Ken had announced that Deston Corp had indicated an interest in buying us out. (He always said "Us" but the Company was always Ken with me doing what I could to help out here and there.) We had been there before and nothing came of it and I initially thought, "here we go again", but after about 3 months of intense negotiating it was beginning to look like he was actually going to do it this time. I started to allow myself to dream that he might actually retire and we might take some time to enjoy all the things we had, not the least of which is our daughter Mandy who is far more like her father than like me.

As I began. . . . Peggy's comment!

Peggy is Ken's "girl Friday". I've come to like, even love, her and her husband Don, but it wasn't always that way. When Ken first hired her she seemed the answer to save the day. She's smart, confident and willing to work her ass off! She became an integral part of the growth of the Company in a very short time and was soon almost "indispensable" and I was shocked to hear Ken say one day that he may have to let her go.

I was equally shocked when he told me why?

Peggy had made it clear that he was welcome to share her bed or she would come to his, no strings attached, while they were on the road, something they often were. He made it clear he was not interested and told me about it right away and we agreed that she would be gone if she didn't back off.

She never did push it. She simply made the offer, his to accept or turn down, and I was confident he would turn it down, but it took me a long time to get comfortable with her after that.

I finally did when she met Don, who is now her husband, and that brings me to her comment.

We were having a drink after dinner one night while Don and Ken had gone out to the barn, when Peggy said, "I can't imagine Ken not having another project of some kind! I'm not going to be surprised if he has something else in the works."

I think that's what started it and somehow I bought into it. The two of us, Ken and I, were to be his next and final project but somehow Peggy wondered if that would be enough to keep him occupied and although that's what I wanted more than anything in the world, I began to worry if it would "be enough to keep him occupied" as well!

As we got nearer the date set for the closing, I looked everywhere for signs of the next deal, the next project and frankly saw none. Had I been able to see it any sooner, I would have been prepared, but what hurt and angered me was that he didn't even break it to me until we were at the signing ceremony and he couldn't even wait a day or two. He said he had to go right then! He should have shared with me what he was going to do long before that, even knowing it would piss me off.

To have him keep it from me like this upset me more than I could describe. Much more than I could rightly handle!

All he would say was that he had to leave the next day and claimed he would be gone two days. I was hurt and angry and I let him know it and no sooner had he left than fate dealt me cards that I played all wrong. Stan Caven called for Ken and on hearing he was away for two days, he asked me to have dinner with him.

Stan Caven and I have flirted with each other for years. Actually, I flirted with Stan. He worked like hell to get into my pants, but it was fun and, given Ken's fixation on closing this deal, there had been little or no attention from that direction for quite some time. It was at least a little "ego boosting" to have Stan work so hard to try to get me into a bed. Using the excuse that a little attention and flattery was deserved after being let down by my husband, I agreed to have dinner with him the day after Ken left. Given that he was buying dinner but wasn't, I was sure, going to get into my panties, I thought I'd treat him to a sexy date and dressed in my favorite cocktail dress with bikini panties and no bra. I even wore spike heels.

I was just heading into town when our daughter called to wish her dad a happy retirement and was surprised he had gone off on another deal. She claimed she was sure he was planning to pack it in and work on enjoying all we had accumulated. She always took his side anyway and, given the mildly irrational state I was in, I found I was annoyed with her too and I abruptly told her I had to go have dinner with a friend who had just come in to town.

I didn't mention who it was.

Mandy knows Stan all too well.

Stan is a nice looking man and he certainly goes way out to make a woman feel special. He bought me flowers and he had preordered a very special dinner. We began with cocktails and that's where I made my third mistake (Going in the first place and wearing that dress being the first two). I gulped down my first martini which smoothed the slide downward from there.

We danced after dinner. I haven't danced for a very long time and it felt good. After that we went to Stan's room for a nightcap and I was steeling myself to let poor old Stan down one more time when my mobile rang with a forwarded call from the ranch.

That son-of-a-bitch of a husband called me from his cell and not his hotel. He's trying to hide where he is and what ever in hell that new project was! That pissed me off and again, being angry and more than a little irrational, I neglected to put the brakes on with Stan. I had two more martinis and part way through the second one, Stan and I were on his bed. Although I was very uncomfortable as I had already let it go too far, given my impaired decision making, it seemed the best plan was to just try and get it over with.

Stan didn't even take my dress off. He undid it at the back and pulled it down far enough to suck on my tits, then pulled my panties off and pulled his pants partly down. While he fumbled with the condom I almost ended it there and then, but he finally got it on and when he pushed in to me, he lasted about three strokes before he came.

It was the best thing I could have hoped for given that I was fool enough to let it get that far in the first place. Given that I had virtually no lubrication, even the few strokes he got in were uncomfortable.

I did what I could to reassure him (Isn't that what we women do for our men? . . . Yes, but he wasn't and never would be "my man!")

I had screwed up royally and, although I didn't want to blame it all on Stan and for him to feel too badly, I needed to tell him there was never going to be an encore!

I tried the "Sorry Stan. This is wrong. I love my husband. I made a very bad error in judgment. I was angry, I was drunk and I let it carry me too far. Stan, of course, was convinced that his over excitement about finally bedding me and cumming too soon was the problem and he would manage much better next time.

"Stan! What part of, 'THERE ISN'T GOING TO BE A NEXT TIME!' DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?"

When I finally came at least a little to my senses and realized Stan was convinced I'd be staying the night and that this was the start of an on-going affair, I decided the only way to handle it, given I had let it go too far already, was to leave then and there, in spite of the fact that I shouldn't have been driving even then. I pulled my dress up, put my panties in my purse and left. Stan dressed in a panic and caught up to me while I was waiting for the elevator and we rode down together, him apologizing for cumming too quickly and promising he could do better and me telling him I was wrong to have done it in the first place and it was something I was NOT going to repeat.

The only thing that finally got his attention was when I threatened to tell Ken, hoping he would forgive me, but pointing out he was much bigger and tougher than Stan and that Stan's health might be in serious jeopardy if I did.

When the elevator reached the bottom floor, rather than continue to argue in a public place, I let Stan walk me to my car then drove directly home. I realized that I was still somewhat drunk, so I was very careful to drive just at or very slightly above the limit. I didn't want to get nailed on a DUI.

I got home, stripped and headed for the shower where I tried to wash away the guilt and I got the shock of my life when I came out of the shower to find Ken coming in the bedroom door. I don't remember exactly what I said but I bet I looked pretty guilty. Fortunately he seem a little cowed and I remembered that as far as he was concerned, I was still angry about him taking on a new project and leaving it until the last moment to say he had to be away to work on it.

Hell, I still had no idea what or where the project was!

I covered my guilt and fear with an attempt to continue to be angry but, as the night wore on and Ken didn't come to bed, I was afraid I might have over done the anger bit. I really wanted him to come to bed and hold me and finally, more out of exhaustion than anything else, I fell asleep. When I woke, there was evidence he had been in the bed, but again, as he had so many times before, he had got up and was gone.

When I went downstairs, he was still there. We made breakfast and I could feel the tension in the air and I was looking for some way to let him know I wasn't angry any more but not hurt him with what I had foolishly done. I had to go into town to pick up some stuff I had bought and asked him if he wanted anything and then, God bless him, he gave me an opening. He said he was sorry for going away but that it was important. I told him I was annoyed but I would get over it. I thought things would be O.K. and I would not have to devastate him by telling him what a stupid, hurtful thing I had done.

Then Stan called, hoping I had changed my mind.

Fortunately Ken was out with Sam our ranch foreman. I believe I was very clear with Stan. I did something I had no intention of doing again etc., etc., etc.. I tried telling Stan all of it but I finally had to resort again to threatening to tell Ken before Stan would let it go.

Although I tried to be friendly and act as though my anger had passed later that day, Ken was still acting as though we were still at odds and I couldn't see how to get around it.

He was very late coming to bed again that night but I was unsure how to deal with it so I pretended to be asleep. As I lay there trying to figure out how to close this gap between us, I thought back to all the other times we had had our differences and all I could remember was that Ken apologized whenever we had been like this in the past.

Well, he apologized already!

Why weren't things O.K.?

Because, in the final analysis, it wasn't Ken who screwed up, it was me! I had made this wonderful man a cuckold and worse, with a cowardly, underhanded, self centered wimp like Stan Caven and I have no idea how to make things right.

Can they be made right?

I could confess.

Ken is and always has been a wonderful man. He would be hurt and he would be angry but I believe he loves me and I do know I love him and we would get past it!

Wouldn't we?

Does he deserve to be hurt like this? Probably not, but he did go away on another project of some kind only one day after supposedly retiring and without telling me anything about it. Not what or even where it was.

No, he deserves to have a faithful wife who can get past the minor hurts in a marriage and who looks at the big picture and realizes that he is a kind and loving man who has been a good provider and although he hasn't done all the things I might have wanted just when I wanted, his track record may well be significantly above average, if the comments my women friends make about their husbands are even half true.

What have I done?

Late the following afternoon our daughter and her fiancé arrived and that is always a treat. Like her father, I adore her and both Ken and I are agreed that given the opportunity to try, we aren't likely to find a better man for her than Wayne.

I was tense as I was concerned that Mandy may mention that I had had dinner with a friend that night and I would be asked who it was, but it didn't come out and after a while I started to relax.

That night, Peggy and Don arrived and the house took on a sort of festive air and I relaxed even more.

We had dinner from the barbeque and Sam outdid himself providing the best burgers and the most succulent ribs we had eaten in quite some time, washed down with Ken's favorite imported Canadian beer. I was beginning to think all would be O.K.

At some point we all agreed to go riding in the morning and so later that night, Ken, Wayne, Don and Sam went out to our neighbors to borrow some horses so we could all go out together. We girls used the time to catch up and, in spite of all the issues there had ever been between us, I found Peggy to be especially warm and caring.

I guess retirement can do that to some of us!

While we were talking, the boys came back and, after a while, I realized that our guests were tired and ready for bed so I excused myself and said I was going to see if my husband was tired or had any other ideas.

"Mom, you are naughty!" my daughter said, laughing.

There was something about the way that Peggy said, "THAT is an excellent idea!" that I didn't really think much of until later.

When I got back to our room with all kinds of "naughty" thoughts in my mind, Ken was nowhere to be seen. In fact for the third night in a row, even though I was anxious to hold him and had dressed in my most provocative nightgown, I fell asleep before he got to bed and again, he was gone when I woke in the morning. He couldn't have been there more than an hour or two, three at the most.

Whatever this project was, he was right into it.

I need to find some way to let him know it's O.K. to work at it during the day so he can come to our bed and let me hold him at night.

Catrina was in the kitchen the next morning. She's a local woman whom Sam has been keeping company with and who is beginning to feel comfortable joining us at the ranch periodically. They had laid out a magnificent spread for our breakfast and although I was very concerned about Ken, and about Ken and I, it wasn't long before I got caught up in that kind of festive atmosphere that had arisen again.

It was mid-morning before we finally finished and we dressed to ride. Ken seemed out of sorts and almost on edge and I knew I had to tell him to go ahead with whatever the project was and get some rest at night. He looked haggard and troubled, all because I was selfish enough to be angry that he did what comes naturally.

Be busy!

I remember heading out to the corral and I remember thinking everyone else was acting a little foolish. I noticed that one of the horses had a huge red ribbon tied in a bow on the saddle. A closer look at the horse started a chain of emotions that, in the end, had me in physical pain from the guilt I was carrying. I managed to thank Ken and, for the first time in all too long, hug and kiss him, but he quickly broke off the kiss and hug as it appeared like everyone wanted to kiss me as well.