One True Master Ch. 01

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Kidnapped by pirates, she must learn to obey.
783 words
3.75
69.5k
26

Part 1 of the 4 part series

Updated 10/10/2022
Created 06/05/2013
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Nique116
Nique116
36 Followers

This is my first submission, so please let me know if you like it! There's no sex in this chapter, I had to set the scene, but I promise there will be lots more to come. Of course, all characters are over 18. Enjoy!

~Nique


As I opened my eyes, I was want to immediately close them again at the disturbing rolling beneath me. Bile rose in the back of my throat and I lay still for a moment, trying very hard to choke the vomit back. When I could successfully sit up, I clutched at my clothes, now soiled and torn. Where was I? This was not my own bed, and I was definitely not back at the hotel. I was on some sort of ship, that much I knew. However, what I could not figure out was how exactly I'd come to be on that ship. The last thing I remembered, I was on vacation with my family in the Caribbean. Now, I was on a ship, with no recollection of having left my two younger sisters on the beach. My eyes widened. My sisters! Just as I began to panic, a low chuckled startled me out of my revelry.

"Well, hello, Sweetheart. Feeling better?" The man asked me, yet I could not answer, for I had been struck dumb at the sight of him. He was beautiful, a chocolate shade of brown, his skin glistened as his sweat-covered muscles flexed, plentiful, courtesy of hard work in sweltering heat. I blushed as his pink lips curled up in an amused smile, his golden-brown eyes sparkling. His gaze captured mine, refusing to let me go as he casually pushed away from the doorframe where he'd been leaning with his arms crossed against his broad chest, and stalked towards me. I swallowed hard as he leaned forward, his arms caging me in on either side as he invaded my personal space. I involuntarily took a step backwards, bumping into the wall behind me. The man's smile grew. His head dipped until his lips were only inches from my own.

"It isn't polite to ignore your host when he asks you a question, Luv," he whispered, his deep voice and British accent washing over me and causing me to shiver. He leaned even closer.

"So I'll ask again. Are you feeling any better?" Slowly, I nodded. He pursed his lips.

"Have you no voice?" I shook my head to clear my thoughts and cleared my throat.

"I apologize for my rudeness, Sir, but you'll understand, I'm a bit... confused." The man threw back his head and laughed, but I only frowned at his reaction.

"Who are you? Where am I? Where are my sisters?" I asked. He pressed one finger to my lips, gently hushing me.

"Shhh, Luv. All will be answered in time. I am Captain Devon Drake. You are an, ahem, 'esteemed guest' on my ship, Darling," he said, making the word 'esteemed' sound like a mockery of me. This only served to anger me further. I pushed him away from me.

"Where. Are. My. Sisters, you low lifed-" He cut me off, his hand gripping my throat firmly. After a moment his grip eased, and I again drew breath into my lungs. His thumb caressed my jaw gently.

"You will not speak to me that way again. Your sisters are fine. After seeing how young they were, we left them where the authorities would find them. You, however, we decided to keep." I let loose a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding in.

"Oh, thank god," I said under my breath. Again, he gave me an amused smile.

"Aren't you the least bit worried about what will happen to you?" he asked me. I slowly shook my head before leveling his own sword at his neck.

"No, because you are going to turn this little toy boat around and take me home. Then you're going to leave and never come back," I said. The man began to smile, his eyebrow arched up in amusement. I was really getting tired of that look. He moved quickly, surprising me. He knocked the sword out of my hand and slammed me back against the wall.

"Did you really think you could outwit a Pirate, Luv? And then to insult a man's ship... tsk tsk. Now you've done it. I'm going to have fun breaking you of your rebellious nature. Before we reach the next port, I'll have you begging for me, just you wait, Princess." With that, the man walked out of the cabin and left me alone. I quickly collapsed on the bed. Oh, god. What will happen to me? I thought.

Nique116
Nique116
36 Followers
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AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago

You have a good story, and kept the grammar together. I also like that you allowed room for my imagination to run with your work. You're a pretty good author. It was really nice to read.

joodlejoodlealmost 11 years ago
Read aloud

I give this piece of advice every now and then to those authors with less experience and lacking editing skills. You can read through a paragraph ten times and still miss certain problems in phrasing. I highly suggest (when no one is around to complain or interrupt) reading your story aloud when you review. Read it like you are narrating, and you will most likely re-phrase and reduce redundancy. Good start, and I see promise in this work. :)

SurprisingMyselfSurprisingMyselfalmost 11 years ago
Good start

Please don't write the story according to suggestions. I've seen authors ruin good stories that way. It's your story to tell and if you get an honest idea based upon someone's comment, so be it. But tell the tale you have to tell. Very intriguing start. As others did, I suggest you have someone read before you post because you could lose readers with consistent errors. But it sounds like you're on top of that. Thanks. Oh, and I really liked the way the sisters were taken care of by being too young for the pirates to bring aboard. The situation reveals much about many of the characters, including the victim's sense of maturity and her fighting character.

Nique116Nique116almost 11 years agoAuthor
To all my readers...

As I said, this is my first submission, and it's something I wrote a long time ago, so I do agree that there are quite a few changes regarding plot consistency and story flow that I can make, but I appreciate the support and constructive criticism. Also, that you to those of you who voiced suggestions as to what should happen in the next installment. I will try to incorporate those into the next few chapters. Thank you!

~Nique

josephstevensjosephstevensalmost 11 years ago
Good start..

A good start..familiar story line....but nothing wrong with that...we're waiting for the fun to start!

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