Options Ch. 04

God, Shelly, I miss you so much, she thought. She shuddered and a tear slipped from the corner of her eye. As she surrendered to sleep her final thought was how well Shelly completed her.

"So, gorgeous, I haven't seen you for over a week. What's that, two classes? Three? What's up with that? And where's Blondie?"

"Oh, hey, um—"

"Hailey."

"Yeah, hey, Hailey."

"You okay?" she murmured as the professor readied his lecture. "Looks like somebody stomped your kitten, or something."

"Yeah. Fine." Stacy's eyes brimmed. She blinked several times to keep tears from spilling down her cheeks.

"Bullshit!" Hailey proclaimed with a bit more volume that she intended. She received a dirty look from a student three seats over. "What's your problem?" she challenged. He shook his head, looked down and blazed away on his keyboard.

Hailey moved over and took the chair beside Stacy. She settled her book and tablet and appeared to focus on the lecture. After a couple of minutes, she leaned toward Stacy and said, "You remember that coffee we were going to have?"

Stacy eyed her without turning her head. She shrugged.

"Right after Prof Boring stops talking, we're there."

"But—"

"Uh, uh. There's only one 'butt' I'm interested in and that weak-ass protest isn't it. Now, shush. This part's probably on the test." Hailey flashed the girl a warm smile then plunged into her studies.

Stacy tried to concentrate. It was not her best effort, but she felt that her brain would retain at least some of the lecture. She had to admit to herself that Hailey's presence provided a certain level of comfort. At one point their shoulders touched and Stacy leaned into the pressure for several seconds. She could feel her emotions welling up again so Stacy broke the contact then immediately missed it.

The lecture petered out and the room bustled with impatient students already thinking of their next classes. Hailey stashed her book and computer in record time, took Stacy by the arm and began to lead her toward the door.

"Wait," she said. She scooped up her paraphernalia and hurried out, following the young woman. When they reached the hallway Hailey turned. Stacy gazed into the coed's face and met a pair of sparkling gray eyes that appeared to be ready for anything.

"Ah don't think this's such a good idea—"

"Wow, you're Southern, huh? That's sooo sexy on a beautiful Asian chick. Shit, you rock that talk, girl!"

Stacy remembered being very angry at Shelly not so long ago. Now she accepted this as a simple compliment from a very pretty young woman. Almost.

"An' that curly brown hair really sets off those Caucasian eyes o' yours."

Hailey laughed without guile or offense. "Yeah, that was kinda thoughtless, huh? It's just different and I really like it. How 'bout this? 'I love your voice and that sweet Southern drawl, and I'd like to hear more of it while we get to know each other a little bit.' Or are you just into sport sex?" Her right brow twitched and she continued, "'Cause I can totally do that, too. But I think maybe you're worth more than a one-nighter?" She winked.

Stacy looked at her as people pushed and rushed past them. Then, as though she was watching a video of someone who looked just like her, Stacy's pent-up load of emotional crap came spilling out in a torrential purge that she was powerless to stop.

"Ah love sex and used to think 'bout it all the time. But I fell fo' somebody who wasn't available and Ah still got it bad. So my heart's broke and Ah lost my mojo and now Ah don't know what to do and Ah wanna have coffee with you 'cause yore so hot, but Ah don't care right now if Ah ever have sex again. Though if Ah was gonna have some Ah'd want it to be with you, or with the girl Ah love, or . . . Oh, fuck, Ah sound like a da-yamn fool— Now, I'm jus' gonna shut the Hell up and go find a nice deep, dried up well to dive into, 'kay? Thanks fo' the invite, Hailey. Bye."

Stacy turned away, humiliated and filled with self-loathing. She just hoped she could put some distance between her and Hailey as quickly as possi—

The hand on her arm made her turn and she looked into Hailey's mesmerizing eyes once more. Stacy did not expect to see a smile on her thin lips, but it was there just the same.

"Um, okay, might want decaf for you. C'mon. You need to talk."

Hailey slid her arm under Stacy's and guided her down the now-empty hallway. Stacy hung on, fought to keep from losing control, and accepted the simple touch. If Hailey wanted to provide the physical contact Stacy craved, then who was she to refuse?

It took fifteen minutes to walk to the little coffee shop on a corner a few blocks off campus and their arms were linked the entire way. There were sidewalk tables but Stacy hoped they would pass them—she did not want her embarrassing emotional state on roadside display.

As if reading her mind, Hailey guided them through the front door and into a quiet booth near the back. "You can smell those wonderful machines working their magic back here," she explained.

Stacy thought that sounded like an excuse but the table offered privacy and was exactly the spot she would have chosen herself. She set everything she carried on the floor near her chair and found the aroma that filled the air powerful and intoxicating.

"So, what'll you have?" Hailey asked.

"Don' know. But I can get it—"

"Uh, uh. I invited you; my treat."

"Um, 'kay, thanks. What're you havin'?"

"My usual is a double-shot espresso mocha latte with cinnamon."

"Wow . . ."

"Two?"

Stacy shrugged and nodded.

"Be right back. Get comfy." As Hailey made her way to the counter the fluid shimmer of curly brown hair was enchanting. Stacy turned away and sat with her back to the room. She suddenly felt an attack of nervous energy.

"Great, a double espresso will be a biiig help with not bein' nervous," she mumbled, heavy with sarcasm. The longer she sat the more she fidgeted. Just as she reached her limit and was about to leave Hailey breezed back to the table.

"They'll bring 'em as soon as they're done. I got a couple of pastries too, just in case. You want the cinnamon roll or the triple chocolate muffin?"

Stacy shrugged again, questioning whether she had an appetite. Hailey cocked her head and gazed into Stacy's dark eyes. "Splits?"

"'Kay, but I'm not that hungry."

"Been here before?" Stacy shook her head, and wondered why not. Hailey watched the ripple pass down the length of the girl's thick braid. "Once you try their baked stuff, God, it's orgasmic!" She pulled the cinnamon roll in two and its center steamed with gooey delight. She pinched off a smaller bit and offered it to Stacy. When she reached for it Hailey smiled and pulled back. "No hands."

Stacy shot her a look, but Hailey's lips maintained their pretty arc. "Party pooper," she teased then passed the complete half across the table. She divided the muffin likewise and its hot core shown with glistening molten chips. Hailey placed Stacy's portion on a napkin for her.

"Bon Appetite!" Hailey popped a bit of chocolate Nirvana into her mouth. She did her best to skip any overt sensual display, chewed slowly, and nodded to Stacy.

"Here you go, ladies," the barista said. She set two enormous mugs before them. Tendrils of vapor rose in curls from the liquid surfaces. Hailey tilted her head toward her shoulder at a flirtatious angle, smiled and sang, "Thanks, Linnie."

"No worries, 'Comet'." Linnie smiled at Stacy and was gone.

"'Comet'?"

"Yeah, you know, like 'Hailey's Comet'?"

"But isn't that—"

"Halley's Comet? Yeah, close but no cigar, right? But it also describes me when I hang out here on Friday nights. After a coupla these I move so fast people see trails of light behind me." She laughed.

"You like coffee, huh?" Stacy tasted the roll.

"Oh, sweetie, I go through four or five of these on a good Friday, especially if it's been a tough week. Yummy, huh?"

Stacy's expression melted as Hailey spoke; she guessed it was the cinnamon roll working its magic.

"Oh, my Gawd, Ah haven't had a cinnamon roll this good in my entire life! Not even at Cinnabun."

"Told you. Try this." She offered Stacy a bite of muffin and the girl ate it from Hailey's deft fingers. She chewed slowly and her eyes closed in rapture. Hailey had a passing hope that she would get to see that expression again.

Stacy whispered, "Holy crap!"

"Yeah."

"How do you stay so slim?"

"Well, I don't eat three thousand calorie muffins every day, and I tend to stay amped up enough that my metabolism runs hot. Their coffee does not suck, either," she suggested.

"Those aren't three thousand calories." Her guest took a long sip. A tiny line of foam clung to her upper lip and, as Hailey watched, Stacy's pink tongue swiped at it. "They're not, right?" When she received no answer Stacy sounded alarmed. "Are they?"

Hailey snapped out of her fantasy. "Nah, but they taste like they are". She pushed the images of "sexy Stacy" from her mind to concentrate on "troubled Stacy."

"So, I think I got the gist, but you may need to fill me in on some of the details."

"Oh, Hailey, it's okay. Ah mean, it's such a suck-ass mothu—uh, sorry."

Hailey laughed. "Yeah, like I never heard swearing before. Fuck."

Stacy ginned back. "You sure? Ah'm better, now. Really. It's okay."

"No, get it out. That's why we're here."

"'Kay, here goes." Stacy sipped her mug and sighed. "So, Ah had a serious thing for this chick, and . . ."

It took ten minutes for the full story, with Hailey asking occasional questions and Stacy sometimes backtracking as she recalled more bits. They took breaks when Stacy's story became too much for her. Hailey proved to be a good listener, and managed to follow everything. When Stacy finished, Hailey breathed, "That does suck ass!"

Stacy smiled, finished the crumbs of the muffin, dabbed at her eyes with the napkin and downed the last of her cup. She took a deep, ragged breath and let it out as a long sigh. Hailey reached across the table and placed her palm atop the girl's hand.

"So, Blondie got the girl, huh? That lucky bitch." Hailey smiled and Stacy returned the expression.

"I shouldn't o' did her arm, but I was afraid we'd get into it, ya know?"

"Yeah, maybe." Hailey's eye twinkled with mischief. "But I woulda liked to've seen it. Kung fu master, huh?"

"Stop it. Ah'm blushin'."

Hailey's smile faded as her mind worked. "You did nothing wrong and when you found out it was pretty noble. Giving up the girl so she could be with her true love . . . that's right out of the best fairy tales, you know?" Hailey sighed. "I knew you were special."

"Nah, Ah just know if a take someone's woman that Karma'll squash me like a bug. I want somebody special, but not like that." She managed a weak smile. "Still hurts like a sumbitch though."

Hailey resisted the urge to hug Stacy, or touch her face, or do anything that could be construed as hitting on a vulnerable young woman. She wanted someone special, too, but not like that.

Hailey waved at the barista, held up two fingers then turned to her guest. "Just one more round, okay? I don't want to go, and I don't think you're quite ready to be alone. Okay?"

"'Kay."

"More food?"

"Y'all mean the orgasmic baked stuff? Nah, Ah'm good. Thanks, though."

Two more steaming mugs arrived and Stacy reached into her pack. "Ah got this one, 'kay?"

"Thanks, Stacy."

She paid and said, "Keep it."

"Thanks, babe." The barista smiled at Stacy before retreating to the bar.

Hailey blew across the mug and took an appreciative slurp. Stacy watched Hailey's mouth and felt a small ember glow between her legs. It reminded her of Morgan's lips, and she suddenly recalled how she stared as Morgan nibbled her into oblivion. She shook her head and stirred her coffee.

"What?"

"Nothin'. But I do wanna thank y'all. Ah feel lots better. Guess I needed to get that load o' crap outta my head, huh?"

"So, your head's all empty now?"

"No, Ah meant—" She watched Hailey's eyes over the brim of her mug and caught the teasing expression in them. "You're messin' with me, huh?"

"Maybe."

"You're funny."

"You're not laughing."

Without so much as a twitch of her lips Stacy deadpanned, "Ah'm hysterical—on the inside."

After a moment both women burst into laughter. Stacy felt the heavy yoke of heartbreak not quite drop away; but it did seem a tad lighter.

Talk turned to Organic Chemistry. Stacy found that Hailey possessed a phenomenal memory, and an excellent grasp of the subject matter. She wanted to ask about Hailey's admission of masturbating in class with Stacy as the object of her desire, but decided this was not a night for sex—not even talk of sex.

Stacy asked Hailey about her childhood instead.

Hailey grew up around St. Louis. Her father worked at a brewery, and her mother was a nurse. She loved the big Fourth of July Veiled Prophet celebration at the Arch. The air shows amazed her, the parades and concerts were cool, but her favorite part was the fireworks. She could clearly remember how it felt to be hugged by her parents as the concussions pounded her chest, or see the Technicolor reflections on the stainless steel of the Arch and the faces in the crowd.

"How'd y'all end up here?"

"Scholarship."

"Smart, huh?"

"I really want to impress you, so I'll tell you a secret." Hailey let her eyes travel the few patrons as though she was about to reveal a government plot. "My I.Q.'s 153."

"No shit—really?" Stacy was completely impressed.

"Nah," Hailey lied. "Just messing with you."

"Oh, ya li'l shit, you." Stacy huffed. Hailey smiled, showing her straight white teeth.

"So, you 'bout ready?"

"Yeah," Stacy sighed. "I guess."

"I know. I'd like to hang out, too. But if we keep pounding these," she declared, lifting her near-empty mug, "we'll be up all night. Oh, crap, that wasn't supposed to sound like that."

"It's okay. I didn't take it that way."

"Good. Thanks."

Silence spread like a fog.

"Hmm, guess we should go, huh?" Stacy offered without enthusiasm.

"Look Stacy, I like you. I'd like to invite you home with me, but I don't want to fall into the sack with you. Not now, not when you're like this."

"I know. You're right, Ah'm not ready. Ah mean, some o' me's ready," she squirmed and they smiled together. "But, Ah'm not ready," she repeated and tapped the center of her chest.

"Well, then let me walk you home and you can get some sleep."

Stacy turned around and the dark outside surprised her. She checked her phone. "Holy crap, it's almost nine!"

"Yeah, they're closing soon. But I think unloading like you did, and getting a good night's sleep, will make a new woman out of you."

"Sleep? You kiddin'? I'm buzzin' like a bug zapper in a mosquito convention."

Hailey laughed aloud. "Do you really talk like that, or is that for effect?"

"You said you wanted to listen to my accent. So, y'all deal with it, Sugah."

"Oh, I will. But you're just making up those sayings for me, huh?"

"Wadda ya think?"

"I think you're doing it for me because you're sweet." She fluttered her eyelashes and breathed, "Sugah!"

"Ah don' argue with folks when they're right."

"Hmm, I noticed that you didn't really answer the question, either."

Stacy, mute, smiled.

Barb's phone rang, but the caller ID was blocked. Her heart skipped, hopeful.

"Hello?"

"Barbara—"

"Shelly? Oh, thank God. Are you okay?"

"Yes, Barb, I'm fine—"

"Where are you, Shelly? God, I miss you sooo much!"

"I'm home."

Barb slowed down at this bit of news.

"Home?"

"Yeah. I . . . needed to, be home."

"God, Shell, I am so, sooo sorry for what happened, and, please come back. Please tell me what I can do to fix this—"

"Barb, do you really want to fix this?"

"Fuck, yeah. I feel horrible for what I did to you—to us. I need you, baby."

She listened to the long-distance silence, straining to hear anything at all.

"Barb, how do you fell about me?"

"Shelly, I love you. I'm not happy without you here, and I 've never felt this . . . empty."

"Barb, listen to me."

"Okay."

"I don't fall for someone every day. I've been with girls before, but I gave my heart to a woman who turned around and broke it. The first time I really let myself love someone, and you broke my heart."

"Shell, baby, I'm sooo sorry—"

"I know, Barb. I'm sorry, too. I shoulda kept my mouth shut with Stacy, and—" She took a deep, ragged breath and continued. "And maybe this whole thing woulda never happened. But after, I didn't know what to do, and I needed to . . . I needed my Mom. I told her about you, which was pretty weird 'cause I hadn't, uh, hadn't come out to her—"

"What?"

"Yeah, but, relax, 'kay. It was no big deal 'cause she told me she always kinda knew. But, well, she gave me a 'Mom speech' and told me if I love you and you love me, then we had to fix things between us. If not, we'd always wonder, you know?"

"Wonder what?"

"We'd wonder if we were, like, each other's 'one'."

"Oh. Yeah. She's smart."

"I know, but don't tell her." Barb thought she heard a tiny smile in Shelly's voice.

"Do you want to fix it, Shelly?"

"Do you?"

"God, yes. Sooo much."

"How do you feel about me?"

"Shelly, I love you!"

Shelly squeaked out a strange little noise on the other end of the line. When she spoke, Barb heard the quaver in her voice. "I love you, too, Babs."

That was all Barbara could take. She sobbed as she tried to speak. "Shelly, I, miss, you, so, much. When, are, you, <sniffle> coming, back?"

"I'll, be, back, Sunday, night, <sniff> for, Monday, classes, Babs."

"Oh, kay, Shell, ee. <sniffle> I, <sniff> love, <sniffle> you. <sniff, sniffle>"

"I, <sniff> love, you, too <sniffle>." They cried together until they laughed.

"I'll be back soon, 'kay?"

"God, I can't wait. I miss you, Shelly."

"I miss you, too, babe. Good night."

"Shelly?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell me again, please."

"I love you, Barbara."

"Mmm, I love you, too, Shelly."

"Good night, Babs."

"Good night."

"So, how'd that go?" Shelly's mother asked as her daughter hung up the phone.

Shelly turned her tear-stained smile on her, hugged her neck and whispered, "Thanks, Mommy."

Barb had waited until the lined clicked, sighed and set her phone on the desk. Then she curled up with her "Shelly" pillow. Her thoughts were full of a slim, athletic blonde she would soon be able to hold again. She fell asleep with a beautiful smile on her full lips, and a lightened soul.

"You sure this is okay, Stacy?"

"Yeah, it's fine."

Stacy had borrowed a powder blue set of flannel pajamas with polar bears on them, and had bedded down in the living room. Hailey covered her with a light blanket, more for security than warmth. The pillow was bunchy and downy and smelled of jasmine. The long couch allowed Stacy to stretch out full length.

"Need anything else?"

"Nah, Ah'm good."

"'Kay, g'night."

"Night, Hailey. An' thanks."

"You're very welcome—Sugah." Hailey smiled and Stacy felt a thrill low in her tummy.

Hailey went to her bedroom and closed the door. Stacy sighed and let her eyelids droop. But she could not quite find the magic, comfortable pose. She rolled onto her side, she snuggled her back into the couch cushions. She lay on her back then tried lying on her stomach. After half an hour she sat up and blinked.

"Damn caffeine!" she breathed to herself.

She rose, clutched the pillow to her body, and crept toward the bedroom door. Her hand tapped on it and she twisted the knob. It swung open just enough for her to peep in the room.