Our Little Secret? Ch. 02

This is a chapter two to Our Little Secret by Tony Stark. There is no point at all in reading it unless you've read his story first.

His original story had quite an effect on me. I couldn't get it out of my brain for several days. Comments on the story mostly called for a second chapter and I agreed, so I contacted Tony and asked if he intended to provide one, or if I could have a go. He kindly allowed me my chance. Now, this was his first Literotica story and a total tour de force in my view. I'm a different kind of bloke and differently driven, so I've taken the story in a different direction. I don't doubt he could have done it better but he chose not to. This is my very first attempt at fiction writing. Warning: there is no sex in this story -- the good stuff is all in the first part.

*

Mark still stood in the closet as Jill walked from the room and upstairs, where she began to run the shower. He'd come down from his sexual high, which lay in pools on the closet floor. The world seemed a different place from just such a short while ago as he'd watched his wife get a right royal fucking.

His WIFE! What was he thinking of? What was he doing? Lurking in a closet, in his own house, like a thief afraid of capture. He'd experienced rage and jealousy, had them overtaken by sexual lust, and finally release, and the inevitable drop into post-orgasmic depression. He tidied himself up, wiped up his mess, and slowly walked up the stairs. Jill was still in the shower, her sexy new clothes lying in a heap on the floor.

The rage came back. She'd bought these clothes for her lover, not for him. They were a symbol of treachery, indeed of contempt. How could she have so coldheartedly planned to deceive him?

As he stood there, Jill came out of the shower and saw him. She froze with shock.

"Mark! What are you doing here? You were in Las Vegas."

He couldn't help but notice that she showed surprise and guilt but made no motion to come to his arms for their usual greeting kiss. This added to his resolve.

"I've come to help you pack"

"Pack what? Why?"

"Pack your stuff, you surely can't think you can stay in this home and marriage?"

Jill collapsed onto the bed. "Oh God, you know." Mark said nothing but stood looking at her.

"Oh Mark, I'm so sorry. I wouldn't hurt you for the world. I love you so much. It was only a stupid fling that means nothing to me, and it wouldn't have happened at all except for the excitement of the reunion, meeting all those people who despised me at High School, and them seeing me successful, looking good, and on the arm of the star football player, I was on a different planet! I had too much to drink as well and when he brought me home I just couldn't resist his seduction. Please let us talk about it, let us work it out, we can overcome this. I love you and want us to be together forever."

Mark bent and picked up the discarded clothing. "I'll keep these safe in case I need evidence. There'll be a load of your lover's DNA in here and quite a bit of yours. There won't be any of mine of course because I never saw them before, never mind handled them"

"Oh God, please don't throw me out. I'll do anything to put this right. Surely our marriage is worth enough to overcome one mistake, terrible though it was."

Mark walked out of the room. He didn't want Jill to see the tears in his eyes, so he went back downstairs and found a plastic bag to hold the soiled clothing. He dabbed his eyes and went back up. Jill was lying on the bed sobbing. Mark said

"It wasn't just a little slip though was it? You'd been carefully planning this for days. You'd been chatting with Kyle, you told me you wouldn't be going to the reunion and even rejected my offer to cancel Las Vegas and take you. You went shopping for sexy gear and hid it in the back of the closet. You arranged for Kyle to pick you up, which obviously meant he'd be bringing you home. As for seduction, come on! You marched into it with bands playing and flags waving. Now get your stuff and get out."

"Oh Mark please, I can't go now, it's the middle of the night, I've nowhere to go and I've drunk too much to drive anyway."

"You could phone lover boy, he's not been gone all that long, and if he was sober enough to bring you home and give you a good fucking he's sober enough to fetch you for another one."

"Oh God no. I never want to see or hear from him again. Please believe me, Kyle was a terrible mistake and I could never make another mistake like that. Please let me stay, even if just for tonight."

Mark was caught. Not a vindictive man, he could see that putting her out now was not reasonable. On the other hand, letting her stay was going to give her more opportunity to wear down his resistance. His love had not turned off like a light switch and he wasn't sure he could maintain his resolve. He wasn't even entirely sure that he wanted to. Maybe he was looking for a way out that might let Jill back into his life? What a mess! No, he was not going to weaken.

"OK you can sleep here tonight. You sleep on the couch. It might be a bit sticky but that's up to you. Collect your bedclothes and go down now, I don't want to see you again tonight."

He went to bed as she left. Sleep was obviously not going to come easily and he knew it would be the same for her. As he lay there he couldn't avoid reliving the evening and night. The sight of his wife with Kyle was imprinted on his brain and would stay forever. Could he live with it? Could he live with the fact that it had turned him on so very thoroughly? Could he imagine it happening again? Shit yes he could imagine it happening again -- he'd seen with his own eyes just how much Jill had enjoyed it. Would it turn him on again? No surely not. He was disgusted with her. He was disgusted with himself. Couldn't he have stopped it before it went too far? He could have told her he didn't like her chat with Kyle, but that would have exposed his reading of her Facebook.

This would have put him firmly in the wrong at that time so, no, that was not the way to do it. How about when he found the sexy dress and undies? Not good. He would have been exposed as a snoop and she could have told him they were a surprise to greet him on his return from Las Vegas or somesuch. He could have been honest and just told her he'd cancelled the trip to Las Vegas and would take her to the reunion. That might have been best. It would have foiled Kyle and Jill's intention but at what price? Jill was pretty distant in the time just before the event and might have been really pissed off with him. A price worth paying to keep the marriage? Who knows? If she was determined to fuck Kyle it wouldn't have made any difference in the longer run, they'd have just met at a later date. He could have phoned before she left the house and told her that the trip was cancelled and that he'd be at home when she arrived back. No, of course not, she was going to 'be at home reading a book' wasn't she.

Maybe he could have met them at the door. She would have been embarrassed, as Mark would have known how long they were parked outside and would certainly have realised they were making out in his car. Again though, Jill would feel that Mark had intruded, spying indeed, and she would be exposed as having gone to the reunion despite having said she wouldn't. She'd be very embarrassed which might well also push her into being more likely to take it further later. At the door, Kyle would have been with Jill. Should he have let him in the house? There might have been some disagreement. Disagreements with star quarterbacks are pretty unpleasant if they get physical, let's not go there.

No, no matter how he turned it over in his mind, he was wrong footed at every stage and was on a loser from the beginning. So what happens now? Well, separation and divorce was the obvious and easiest way forward. Just start a new life without Jill. Is that what he wanted? No of course it wasn't, he wanted everything to be as it was before that *** reunion was ever mentioned. NOT POSSIBLE -- get your head round it man!

Can he have any further relationship with Jill? OK, not the same as before, but can a new beginning start something that could grow to be nearly as good? Who knows? Is it worth a try? Perhaps, but not yet.

Problem solved -- the bitch has to go. At least for a time. After a time will she want to come back? God knows, here we go again, round in circles, ever decreasing circles, with a happy outcome decreasing to the vanishing point. What a mess. Surely I've said that before. Yes of course, during one of the circles, or perhaps more.

Shortly before dawn Mark drifted off to sleep.

He woke to the smell of coffee, dragged himself out of bed and into the bathroom and ten minutes later walked down the stairs. He sat at the table as Jill passed him a cup of coffee.

Silence for several minutes, neither looked at the other. Eventually, in a small voice Jill said,

"Mark, when can we talk?"

"I don't know. Probably a couple of weeks or so, I've got a lot of thinking to do and just now I can't get my brain in gear. At the moment I want to be alone. Just get your stuff and leave."

Jill wordlessly got up and walked upstairs.

Half an hour later she returned carrying two cases. Mark had not moved and his coffee was only half drunk.

"I'm leaving now" she said, "I'll let you know where I'm staying."

"If I need to I can phone your office or your cell, I'm not at all sure I want to know where you'll be staying."

"It won't any where near Kyle, if that's what you're thinking. I do really love you and I'll do anything to overcome this mess and get back into your life."

"Yeah, right, goodbye." He didn't get to his feet and she left without another word.

OK thought Mark, it's Saturday morning, not even lunch time, I've got the whole weekend ahead so what will I do? What would I normally do? Oh God, I'd normally enjoy the weekend with my lovely wife, basking in the comfort of a warm, loving and trusting relationship. Did I say trusting? Did I say normal? There is no normal any more, in fact there isn't much of anything that matters any more.

At this time the tears began to flow.

*****This is really the end of this Chapter but we'll carry straight on.****

From this point on Mark began to resume his life. He even established some kind of new reality. He joined a new Gym, to avoid meeting Jill. This helped a lot, both from the benefit of a good sweat-out and because he met new people who had never known him with Jill. At work, he had to tell his close associates that he was having some problems in his marriage, but they all respected his wish not to pursue detail. The work itself was sufficiently absorbing to allow him to forget the problem for hours at a time, sometimes. In the evenings he would call in for a drink or two, but never felt that getting drunk was any kind of answer. After a couple of weeks he thought he was getting to live some sort of reasonable facsimile of a life. He never phoned Jill.

Then came the telephone call. It was Saturday morning exactly three weeks since Jill had left.

"Hello, Mark, will you talk with me?"

"It depends."

"Depends on what?"

"Depends on whether we're going to be totally honest with each other or whether we are going to deal in evasions, half truths and lies."

"I've had plenty of time to think about this Mark. I know that the truth will hurt you, but I also know that we have no hope of ever being together unless I open my heart to you and tell you everything. It will be very hard for me to do, and I may not be able to do it all in one go, but I really do want to do it because it's the only way with any hope of success. I hate what I've done and I have some horrible things to tell you. They'll confirm your worst suspicions, but, honestly, I love you so much and I've missed you so much, and I so want us to be together that I'll do anything. Just one question please?"

"What's that?"

"I've been wondering if we should just do this together or if we should get some counselling assistance from a professional?"

"Let's try the two of us first and see how it goes?"

"Yes, I'll go for that, when do we do it?"

"It's funny, I've been expecting your call, and it's pretty well how I thought it might go, but actually hearing you has shaken me up quite a bit. I need a bit more space. Can we put it off until a week today?"

"Whatever you say darling, I'll call at your place next Saturday. Bye, Love you!"

Mark put down the telephone and sat staring into space. 'Honest with each other'. He'd have to tell Jill he'd read her Facebook and that he was hiding in the closet watching as she sucked off Kyle, fucked him and so thoroughly enjoyed him. His erection! His ejaculation! His failure to do anything to stop it or to confront Kyle! SHE thought it was going to be hard! Would she despise him? Would she think him a wimp? a coward? Whatever, there was no doubt in his mind that he would have to be honest no matter what.

Then realisation dawned; their relationship was finished and they were separated, even if not yet permanently. Was he happy with this state? - Certainly not. Had he been happy in marriage before the train wreck? -- Absolutely. She started it, yes, she was the one who cheated, yes, she should be punished, y...no, stop thinking like that! If they were going to talk at all it must be totally on the basis that the sole reason for the talk was to find a way back together. Any other kind of talk might as well be through divorce lawyers. So it must be full disclosure.

He was glad he'd given himself that extra week.

The day arrived. Jill came, Mark poured coffee and they sat at the table. They didn't sit side by side and they didn't sit opposite each other. It wasn't clear who chose where each was to sit but they ended up sitting across the corner. They didn't have to look at each other but they could. They didn't have to touch each other but they could.

Mark started: "You said this wouldn't be easy, but I doubt you understand that it isn't easy for me either. I know what you did in a lot more detail than you realise and the how, when and where doesn't exactly make me proud"

He then related his whole story. As he was describing watching from the closet, Jill hid her face in her hands and he could see tears running freely down her arms.

When he finished she simply said, "I don't blame you. You were so right to be suspicious. I was behaving in a juvenile way as well as an immoral one. I'm so ashamed."

Silence.

"Your orgasm whilst watching us is a mystery to me, I'd just die if I had to watch you enjoying another woman that way. I suppose women are different to men like that.

But let me try to explain two things from my point:

First, I doubt you can imagine the boost I got when the 'unattractive High School nerd girl' took a call from the top jock showing definite interest. Certainly I flirted and, knowing what happened later I can see that I wasn't playing hard to get. You know the details.

Second though is the after: I lost you -- the most important thing there's ever been in my life, just for a night of vanity sex. That in itself is shock enough to keep me on the straight and narrow from now on. On top of that, I'm not the nerd girl any more. I know I've grown to be an attractive woman, I get hit on by men all the time and it's never a problem. I just fend them off as I've done for years. The circumstance of my unattainable dream man from school seeking me out was unique, it can never be repeated. I have no doubt in my mind that, if you'll have me back, I'll be true to you to the end of our days.

Please can we try again?"

Mark sat quietly, then:

"I want it as much as you do but I still have the pictures of you with Kyle in my brain. How this will affect us I don't know, but I do know we can't just pick up where we left off. How would you feel about us dating? Perhaps on neutral ground? A dinner date, see how it goes, if it's going well get a room?

"Oooh yes, I'd love that"

"One more thing."

"What's that?"

"Before you move back in here we have to get a new couch."

Giggles. Without knowing how, they found that they were holding hands.

END