Out of Love Ch. 03

"Oh J," she said, "I'm sorry..."

She went to turn and go back in her room when I said, "Chloe...wait."

She was still dressed in her amazing red dress she'd been wearing on her way out, and while she looked great, I could see her puffy eyes and the fact that she'd been crying.

She stopped and turned and just looked at me, questioningly.

"How was your evening?" I said, chickening out.

"Oh," she said, looking down with a very sad smile, "Awful. I spent the night beating off guys, and a few girls too. I just wasn't in a partying mood. Someone pinched my ass and when I slapped him, his drink went everywhere and I just had to leave. How was your evening?"

Discretion wasdefinitelythe better part of valor here, so I said, "Oh, it had its moments. Look, can you, sit down here with me for a minute?"

She looked doubtful but said, "Sure" and complied, sitting where Amy had a few minutes earlier.

"I think... I think we need to talk," I said. She just looked at me, and I plunged on. "Look... I know I was angry. You can understand why. I said some things and used some words... I'm sorry. I think we need to clear some air. I understand you fucked up. I understand that you didn't mean it. You don't have a malicious bone in your body. I know I've made you suffer and god knows how it's been for you here, watching me and Amy. I just....I just need you to know, I'm ok now. I'm not 100% with what happened – I doubt I will ever be – but... I don't hold it against you anymore. I just need you to know – we are ok. I don't want you to hurt."

Chloe sat there, staring at me. I could see the onset – first her lip moved, then her eyes watered and then she just burst into tears. She just sat there, crying and dabbing at her eyes and I just sat there like an idiot, not knowing what the right thing to do was. After a few seconds, I just grabbed her and hugged her. She buried her face in my shoulder and just cried and cried, shaking in my arms. I held on and was content just to sit there until she was done.

After a few minutes, she slowed the deep howls to just some sobs and eventually lifted her head off my shoulder and looked at me, sniffed and said, "You have no idea how much I needed to hear that."

I bit my lip and then said, "I'm sorry it took me so long. To be clear, I'm still not ok, but I'm not angry any more, at least not with you. I just..."

She just lunged in and kissed me. I didn't stand a chance or see it coming. Big old pontificating me, trying to be magnanimous and pompous and she just went straight in for the kill.

I loved it, kissed her right back and then suddenly realized what I was doing. I literally grabbed her and pulled her away. "Um, look that was nice and all, but I'm with someone else now..."

She looked back and me and with a very fierce expression on her face said, "If I want to kiss my husband, no one is going to tell me no." I looked at her and the Chloe I knew before the Montana Event looked right back at me.

"Um... ex...?" I said, in a whole inappropriate and very stupid attempt to lighten the mood. She drew back.

I didn't sign anything that said that." She said, matter of factly. I opened my mouth and then shut it again as I realize that, no, she hadn't. I'd just never followed up on it. "Technically, you are cheating on me right now," she added.

Again, I opened my mouth to say something and nothing came out, and I shut it again. Her logic was right. It was all wrong of course, but it was also right and it was late and I was tired and I had no idea what I was doing, so I kissed her again. It seemed the thing to do.

And she got into it. Big time. She literally climbed on me and pushed me back. Somehow, while we were making out, she got my pants undone. I swear these women get taught this at school – I can't get a bra off without pliers, a flash light and a fish gutting knife, and yet these women all seem to be able to undo pants just by a flick of their wrists and telekinesis. Not that I was complaining loudly – but it was something that crossed my mind. As did the dress.

I pushed her back long enough to ask, "Where did you get the dress?"

She answered breathlessly, "I borrowed it from Kathy", which opened a fresh set of questions in my mind as to when she'd seen her last, how much they knew about what was going on and oh my god, did she have my dick in her hand?

She was breathing hard, and she looked me right in the eye as she lowered herself on to my cock, mouth first. She never broke eye contact as her tongue flicked over my cock head, which, frankly, I felt was rising magnificently to the occasion, given the demands placed upon it this evening. And then it was in her mouth and I suddenly realized that it had been in two different women tonight, and I hadn't washed it at all. Chloe realized too.

She took her mouth off it and said "Hmmm. Funky. 'Moments' eh? That kind of night?" And to my utter shock and surprise then said in her best Paris Hilton voice, "That's hot," and went down on it some more. She went to town on my dick – which honestly was getting a touch sensitive by now – for another 5 minutes, then came up for breath and said, "My room. Now. And bring this with you," as she pinged my cock.

She got up and hustled into her room, and I followed behind, hopping out of my pants since waddling along with them round my ankles was inelegant. When I got into her room, she was already on the bed, laying back, legs spread wide. For a change,someonewas actually wearing panties. They were small, insignificant, but at this point, it was a major change for me for someone to actually be wearing them. Of course she had a hand plunged down in them and was licking her lips dirtily at me – this was another new side to Chloe coming out but I've given up keeping track at this point. My life over the last few weeks had been so out of my control, I was just hanging on and trying not to be thrown out of the ride. I just stood and watched as she fingered herself, and then – and I couldn't quite believe this either – she pulled her hand out of her panties and licked them! She saw me staring and said, "Here, want a taste?"

I didn't need to be asked again, and went straight to the source. I literally jumped on her bed and positioned myself with my face down in her pussy. As I did so, I just ripped the panties from her. They were small. It was easy. I'm a man. What do you expect?

I noticed in passing that she was still shaved and again, idly wondered why or who for.

I spent the next 15 minutes just eating her – nothing else, just eating her. It was great – like old times and she was awesome and I'm pretty sure she came, although I couldn't see The Cum Face because I was nose deep and just didn't want to stop. In the end she literally had to say, "Please... Stop. I can't take any more." I moved my face and looked up at her and could feel how covered I was in her juices.

"If you don't fuck me right now, I'm going to cut it off and keep it," she said, smiling at me.

Again, no repeat invitation was necessary. There wasn't much subtlety in how we had sex that night, but it also wasn't all hard thrusting and wild animal sex either. I wouldn't say it was pure making love and all tenderness, but it wasn't animal passion either. It might have been, had I not already performed once that day, and in that manner, but it just wasn't right to have done that. It was missionary, and she kissed me repeatedly, and stared into my eyes the whole time. I honestly would have given a lot to know what was going through her mind. We just... did it. And it was great. It was comfortable, it was lovely, and it was right. I wasn't ready to make love to Chloe yet, but I wasn't going to use her for my own jollies either. It's hard to explain – when I came, which took a while it has to be said, she panted, "Do it, lover, cum for me. I need this. Cum for me." Which, again, wasn't something she would have normally said, but then we were both so far from normal now, I didn't know why I was wondering about it.

When I was done, and spent, and attempted to get off and she wouldn't have it. She wrapped her legs around me and held me, so my softening dick was still in her, as much as it could be. "Oh no, you aren't going anywhere yet, my man," she said. And I, the wuss that I was, stayed there. It was oh so comfortable in her arms. We both just lay there – her running her hand across my shaved palate and me with my head on her breasts, listening to her heart beat.

We must have stayed like that for half an hour and I could feel myself drifting off, and I decided I really did need to get out. It had been a hell of a day and I had all sorts of emotions drifting through me and I needed to sort through them. I gently disengaged myself from Chloe, who by now was very gently snoring, got up off the bed and grabbed whatever clothes I could find and let myself out of the apartment.

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So that happened. I remember thinking the next day how lucky I was, then soberly rememberingwhyI was in this situation, and while it was great and all, I'd rather have had an intact marriage...

I had lunch with Amy the next day and I honestly couldn't meet her eyes, while she was vastly amused by my discomfort. "Cat got your tongue?" she said, playfully while sipping soup at our favorite Chinese restaurant. "Or is it shaved pussy that has it?"

She knew Chloe was shaved? How did she know that? Did these girls shareeverything? Obviously not underwear, since no one seemed to be wearing that any more. I worried for the kids in Pakistan who were making this stuff. Obviously the bottom had dropped out of the market, pun intended.

"Look J – I'm not deaf. I know you did what I asked. I'm ok, alright? We are here, having lunch and it's ok. I know it's weird, but you did her a favor. You gave her release and absolution. I have no idea where she goes from here – she can't stay with me much longer I don't think, because it's time for me to reassert my rights here – can't have her getting uppity - but right now, this was the right thing to do."

I couldn't really say anything. I could hear her words, and in lots of ways I knew she was right, but it just wasn't who I was. I felt like I'd cheated on my wife with a girlfriend, not the other way around. It wasn't right, it's not who I thought I was and I was, frankly, more than a bit ashamed and guilty.

Amy murmured something else about it being just fine, and she hoped Chloe had got what she needed and I suddenly snapped. I slapped my fist on the table and said, "Amy, I think you are awesome, but can you please justshut the fuck upfor a second? This is not about you. I'm sure you are fine with it. I have no idea how, but yeah, I got that you are ok. This is about me. This is about who I thought I was and the limits I had. And I feel pretty much just crossed them and I'm not wildly fucking thrilled about it, ok? So while it might all be fine for you, it's not so fine for me."

Amy recoiled and I could see a bunch of things cross her face, the most disquieting of which was calculation. She took a breath and said, "Yes, of course, I'm sorry. I've been quite focused on Chloe since you are pretty much there now and it's not fair. My expectations and personal point of view are not yours and I've been neglecting your emotional self."

Now, this sounded terribly therapisty to me, and I had to challenge one statement, "Not 'there' yet? What does that mean? Is there a 'there' to be?" I asked.

She considered her reply and said simply, "'There' is the place you are at where we can do what we did last night and then you could do what I asked of you later. You are there because you were capable of doing it. The fact that you are questioning it now just goes to prove that you are as much of a decent man as I had believed you to be. Its ok – you can forgive yourself – I actively pushed you into this and there is no resentment on my part. Chloe needed it and you know it. So give yourself a break – you are just being the knight again and frankly, it makes a refreshing change from most of the guys I've met."

It was a nice answer and obviously just the right thing for her to say – yet again - and it tickled my ego but I also knew there was more to this. I just didn't feel like right there and then was the time to go into it.

Shame really. It would have been enlightening, and given the events that followed the next week, would probably have given me some warning that my life was about to change rather dramatically yet again. And out of my control, yet again.

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Three days later, Amy and I were having dinner when she mentioned she had to go upstate, to a phD graduation. She'd been the main researcher for this candidate and he was having a private dinner at a hotel in Seattle to thank his staff since he'd just been awarded his doctorate. I did idly ask what it was in and I swear she said Klingon and Parapsychology, or something like that. I honestly wasn't listening that much. She then said she'd want to stay overnight since it was two hours north and she would probably be drinking – did I mind?

My mind was full of the app I was working on and I waved it off. "Sure babe. Go, have fun, let your hair down. I'll take Chloe to the movies or something."

Amy said, "I'll text you where I am, if you need me." And that was that.

Three days went by – I ran into Chloe twice and it was awkward but nice awkward, where you are both trying to be on your best behavior but laughing and giggling at everything. She mentioned stopping by that night and us going out somewhere and I said "Sure, I'll drop by around 7."

And I did. And what was waiting for me was... unexpected. I had thought we might go and catch the latest Tom Cruise movie, but what greeted my eyes when I got through the door put that right out of my mind.

Chloe was sitting on the couch, wearing white lingerie. I mean the whole Fredericks of Hollywood get up – white lace robe, a white corset, white diamante choker, long earrings, white stockings and 5 inch heels. Fabulously made up and hair done – she could honestly have been a Fredericks model. And while that was wow enough, sitting next to her, in the exact same outfit, only in black, was Wendy.

They were both shipping champagne and there was an extra glass on the coffee table in front of them.

I simply stopped and gazed. Chloe smiled at me, as did Wendy who coolly said, "Hello J. You are looking well."

I opened my mouth, closed it again, opened it again and said, "Hello Wendy. So are you. Obviously. Chloe... ummm?"

Chloe put down her drink and said "Its ok, J. Amy said it was fine. Not that I care that much but still, I asked first. I didn't want to put you in an awkward spot."

I answered, "What spot? What, exactly, is going on here? I mean, obviously you are... well..." I gestured to them both.

Wendy smiled and took another sip of champagne. Chloe looked at me and smiled and said "Well... the whole plan that night was that you were supposed to get all three of us. You never did. You never got anything out of that night and we all agreed that it wasn't fair."

I raised an eyebrow – something I can never do on cue, but can, apparently do it when it's necessary.

"It's true," said Wendy, putting down her drink on the table. "Mark knows I am here. He is positively happy about it – he's hoping it might go some way to repairing some of the damage. We didn't think you could handle Kathy too, at least...not altogether. That's another night. So... what do you think soldier?" She smiled at me and licked her lips.

I stood and thought for a moment and stammered, "I think... I think I need to talk to Amy. There is too much going on recently and I'm being led down paths I'm not entirely happy with. Ladies, I think this is awesome and I thank you, but I need you to sit tight for a couple of hours. I have to go see a man about a horse. I just can't.... jump in right now."

Chloe put down her drink and went to stand up; her eyes went a bit wider and I could see she thought she'd miscalculated – the worry hitting her. "J... please, we were just trying to make you happy."

I looked at her and said "I know. But I have to be the man I have to be. I can't just jump in here – and to be honest, I'm getting a little tired of decisions being made for me. It's been happening a lot lately and I'm not ok with that. I have to go talk to Amy because this needs to be discussed face to face. This is wonderful – don't get me wrong - but it's not right, at least as I see it. This is going too far, and I need to get clarity on where Amy's head is. Look, I'll be back. DON'T LEAVE." I said that glancing at Wendy and drinking in the sight of her in lingerie like this – you didn't get to see that every day. I did contemplate pulling out my phone and getting a picture, but that would have been going too far too. I looked back at Chloe and said, "Got that? I'll be back."

And with that, I left. Hard thing to do in the moment but I left absolutely convinced it was the right thing to do. And it was, but not for the reasons I had thought.

Seattle was 2 hours away the way everyone else drove. I did it in one hour and 25 minutes. Love that mustang. I had called Amy and got no answer – I left messages and called repeatedly and used my phones maps to navigate to the hotel she'd texted me earlier that she was staying at.

When I got there, I jumped out of the car and rushed in. I realized I didn't have her room number and rushed up to the desk and asked, "Ms Halsip?"

"May I ask who is asking sir? I generally need to call this through," the desk clerk said.

I replied, "I'm a strip a gram. Nerds Uncloven. It's a hobbit thing. You know these phD's." I improvised, hoping he knew of the phD celebration there. He did appear too.

He looked me up and down and said, "I hope you have a costume?"

"In the car," I said.

He stopped, put a finger to his lips, tilted his head and then said, "Hmm... how much do you charge? I might have some other business for you later."

I opened my mouth, didn't trust myself to respond to that and then just said, "Maybe! But right now.., room number? I have to catch her before she goes to this event."

"Oh right," he said, shaking his head. He consulted his computer and said, "Room 343, on the third floor. Elevators are that way."

I smiled thanks and just walked to the elevators. He was obviously going to realize that I hadn't gone to the car for any costume but fuck that. I had business to attend to and I had what I needed now.

I was outside 343 almost immediately, and I knocked on the door. I heard Amy's voice saying, "just a moment," and the door opened and there she was.

Also in lingerie. It was obviously Fredericks Day and I hadn't been paying attention. "J!" she said, obviously shocked to see me.

"What are you doing here?" she continued, not opening the door very much.

"Amy," I started, "did you...."

I didn't get any further when I heard a male voice from inside the room say, "Is that the drinks we ordered? I'm dying of thirst here."

The door opened a little wider and there, behind her, was my worst nightmare. A tall version of Jim – blond, sun kissed, body like a Greek god. I could tell because all he was wearing was a robe, and barely at that. The shaved chest was clearly visible.

I just stood there. I looked at him and at back at Amy. She took a breath, looked pained and said, "Fuck. Look, I'm sorry Jace. I didn't really plan on you finding out like this."

"No obviously not," I said, with the same ice in my veins I'd have 7 months ago, my heart just crashing, same as it did then. She could see it on my face but what she said next just blew me down even further.