Out Of The Shadows Ch. 06

I parked opposite, waiting for my phone to ring as arranged. I knew Tony would be enjoying this, and I expected him to make me wait for the call. It might not be them, it was too dark to see into the car at all, but I was fairly sure that it was. Alex was so close, so near to being safe, I just had to hold it together for a few more minutes. The sound of the mobile broke the silence, my heart rate ramping up as adrenaline flowed for the most important assignment I had ever taken on.

"Tony," I answered, as calm as possible.

"Let's get this done. Five minutes, as agreed. Never let it be said I won't give a man his last wish."

I ground my teeth. That might be true but he didn't have to be so damn cheerful about it. Getting revenge on me was going to give him a great deal of pleasure, and if nothing else, that certainly meant I would be kept alive for a while. There was a minuscule chance it would be long enough.

Tension mounting I watched as someone got out of the car and headed round to the back. The bastards had kept Alex in the boot, but getting angry about that right now wasn't going to help. I watched, itching to get over there and pull him into my arms, aware that I had to wait but my fingers drumming the steering wheel while I waited, and then finally he was there, a shape stumbling towards me in the darkness, moving a little awkwardly and I hoped that they hadn't hurt him too much.

Everything else, everything after, went out of my mind as he got close, and I slid across the car to let him into the drivers side. He needed to get out of here fast and I wasn't going to make it any more difficult for him. In the very dim light I started to see his body, the one I had enjoyed so many times, and then his face, so beautiful even under strain as he obviously was. He didn't know what was going to happen, and he didn't dare hope it was good.

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Alex

By the time the car stopped I had lost count, frustrated at myself for not being able to keep track of time. We must have been on a large road for a while though, it was smooth and even where I was I could tell from the noise that we were doing a good speed. I heard the murmur of voices once they parked, and even some laughter, which made me sick to my stomach. Anything these guys were happy about could not be good.

I tensed as I heard doors open and shut in the car, and then the boot was opened again and I was hauled out. It was night still and we were in a carpark somewhere, from the sounds of it close to a motorway. They removed the blindfold finally and I could see lights from cars and columns not far away and they broke the gloom a little. I tried not to wince as I was pulled up and turned, bent forward while they removed the ropes, probably with a knife as it was so quick.

Barely getting a look at either of the guys beside me in the semi-darkness, and more concerned about the circulation returning to my arms, I stretched out a little, wondering whether it was worth me running for it. I doubted it, they would be on me in seconds and I had been tied for too long to get control of my body well enough.

I was lifted again, this time to be alongside the car, and I heard one of them speaking to me before I was shoved forward.

"You've got five minutes. Walk, don't run."

Another push to my back indicated I needed to walk forward. I didn't dare glance into the car as I passed, or turn my head at all, I was focussed on what was in front of me – Rob's car. Five minutes for what? Time limits didn't bode well, and I prayed he was still alive. I saw movement then, inside the car, but I couldn't see well enough in the darkness to work out if it was him until I was really close.

The relief I should have felt at seeing him wasn't there, I knew this was the handover, but maybe he had some plan and we were both going to leave this place. I hoped that right up until I got in the car and saw his face, it was drawn, no sign of the smile I was now used to. As I sat and pulled the door closed behind me, he grabbed my hand, and something that should have been intimate seemed suddenly desperate combined with the look in his eyes.

"Are you okay Alex? They didn't hurt you?"

He was concerned, and the fact that he cared made me even more afraid of what was going to happen. It reminded me of what we shared, or what I hoped we shared, a connection that ran too deep for this to just be a goodbye.

"I'm fine, they barely touched me. Please tell me you have backup," I asked, almost desperately.

He shook his head slowly and that was the final push I needed to start the tears falling. I tried to sniff them back as I started to beg him not to go.

"Don't do this, please. I can't...I won't leave you."

"You have to. You have to be safe, okay?"

"No, it's not okay," I screamed at him. "I'm not letting you go with them."

My hand strayed to the keys in the ignition, thinking I could drive us both away, desperate to run, but his hand came down on mine before I could get there.

"Alex, you can't. They'll shoot both of us if this car starts up now. I need you to get out of here, tell the Chief what has happened and make sure they get caught soon."

"It won't be soon enough, will it?"

That wasn't really a question, I already knew the answer. Without a firm location, which no-one had, it could take the police days or weeks to track the gang members down.

"Probably not."

He sounded so calm, and I couldn't understand how when he knew what was going to happen. His words made me lose my tenuous control and I started to cry openly, not even managing to stop when he wrapped his arms around me, drawing me as close as he could.

"I am so sorry Alex. I wish it didn't have to be like this, but you need to stay strong, help the police catch these guys."

I sucked in a few breaths, trying to stop the tears and at least be able to speak. My heart was breaking and I hugged him as well, never wanting to let go. I couldn't see his face as I spoke, my face was buried in his neck, and I took deep breaths, trying to memorise his scent and the feel of being held by him.

"Please Rob, I can't just let you go."

"There's no other way," he said, sounding sad. "I don't want to leave you either Alex, but this is the only way to make sure you are safe. Otherwise we both die."

I nearly suggested that was the better option, but I didn't want to die, I just didn't want to live without him. He wanted me safe and it was the only thing I could give him right now, except maybe a confession.

"I love you. I shouldn't be saying that now, but I need you to know."

"I love you too. I'm sorry that my life has been so fucked up that I can't be with you, but you have my heart and knowing you are going to carry that with you, it means the world to me. You're the only one I can trust with that and the only one who will remember who I really am."

His voice was cracking just as much as mine, and when I pulled back a little I could see the tears glistening on his cheeks. I raised a hand to wipe them away, but as soon as he blinked more fell to replace them. I felt like I was being torn apart right now, and I knew he felt the same.

"I only just found you."

"I never thought I'd find anyone. You've given me so much and all I've given you is pain. I'm so sorry."

"You've given me love Rob, from almost the first moment. I just don't know what I'm going to do without it."

"Promise me something?"

"Anything."

"You'll go to that club and dance, not just hover in the doorway. I know it will be hard, but you will be happy again, I'm sure of it."

There was no answer to that, except one that would make him feel worse, so I nodded. How could he possibly think I would be happy without him, or knowing that he had died to save me just go on and live my life as though nothing had changed? He had my heart too, and it was going to die with him.

I got the idea he didn't quite accept my response, but he didn't have the time or inclination to argue. He knew there was no point trying to persuade me now that everything would be fine. His hand reached up to stroke my face and then he leaned towards me, coming for one last kiss.

Through my tear-filled eyes I saw he was suffering too, but I needed it just as badly as he did. It was the only way we really could say goodbye as neither one of us would want to say those words. His lips were soft, slightly salty when my tongue flicked out to taste him, but mine were too.

He crushed my body to him as much as possible in the confined space and with the handbrake and gearstick between us, allowing me to hold him just as tightly, just as desperately. The kiss was long and slow, one that we both had to remember simply because it would be the last. I moaned in pleasure and desperation as his tongue slid into my mouth as it had so many times over the last weeks, and slid one hand up into his hair to grab on to him, keeping him where I needed for as long as possible.

Never had a kiss meant so much, or been such a torment. I tried to memorise the feel of his lips, the way his tongue played with mine, the feel of him breathless against me, and to forget the tears falling and mingling on our faces. His hands were on my face now, tenderly holding me close and wiping me dry even though it was pointless as neither of us could stop crying.

I didn't want this to end, it wasn't fair that I should have spent so long denying what I felt only to have my heart ripped apart when I found someone to love. Our kisses were desperate, not enough and too much at the same time. I needed him and I couldn't have any more than this moment.

We both froze when the mobile started ringing, and I grabbed for him, trying to keep him with me no matter what that meant. My arms were still weak from being tied and he pulled away easily, pain clear on his face.

"I have to go. As soon as I get to the car, drive off, fast. Go south to the next services and stop somewhere well lit and busy, then call the Chief. There's stuff in the glovebox with his number on and what you need to say. Just drive, don't look back and stay strong. I love you."

He was almost out of the car before I managed to reply.

"I love you Rob. Please don't go."

But he already was, the door closed and he moved, not looking back. I watched him walk, slowly across in front of me and the doors of the other car opening as two large men got out. Rob's hand waved behind him and I knew that was my signal to leave, but I was shaking so badly it was hard to start the car.

He turned just as I turned on the lights and he was illuminated, blonde hair shining, his face still wet with tears. He mouthed the word 'go', or maybe even shouted it, I didn't know, and that was it, I moved off and away, leaving him behind. In my rear view mirror I saw the men reach him and then I turned a corner and they were all out of sight.

For the first time in my life I felt truly alone, and I was helpless to do anything but drive, knowing every turn took me further and further from the other half of me, and each moment that passed he could be getting hurt or worse. I tried not to think about that and to stay strong like he asked. I had a job to do, and only then could I let my feelings overwhelm me. And just maybe, a faint hope, we would be able to find Rob in time.

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