Perspective

HER

My name is Caitlyn James. I have been married to Steve for three years. From the moment I met him until just recently I have been happier than I ever thought possible. For some reason, though, he has moved out of our home. He thinks I have been having an affair. I haven't but I'm angry at his lack of trust in me. He doesn't seem to realise that I love him more than life itself.

I don't know if my story is typical but here it is anyway. We met when we were both undergraduates. He was pre-med and I was pre-law. We were both really serious about our studies but kept on bumping into each other. I would go to a new bar and he'd be there. I would be having a meal out somewhere and he would arrive at the same place.

This got us talking about the luck we seemed to be having in meeting up with each other. It didn't take us too long to realise that we had met someone special. I was in awe of him. He was about 6' 2" and really well built. He had the broadest shoulders that tapered off to a slim waist. There wasn't an ounce of fat on him. The best part was that he didn't typically wear clothes that showed it off. In fact he almost went out of his way to hide his magnificent physique.

This told me plenty about him without him even saying anything. He was really secure in his body and didn't need anyone to approve of his build to feel good about himself.

We began dating and felt a connection straight away. Our first kiss left me breathless! We found that we shared many of the same values. My ambition was to go into corporate law and try and clean up some of the corruption I saw there. He wanted to specialise in Palliative Care – looking after the dying. This too told me more about him than he ever needed to say. He had a really compassionate nature that I was falling in love with.

When we were together he treated me as if I was the centre of the universe. He always made me feel special. I know my friends were jealous of our relationship because they could see how special we were to each other.

When we both went to Grad school, Steve proposed. It was a no brainer; of course I said yes. By this time he had met my parents and two younger sisters. Everyone really liked him. I could see that my sisters took a particular shine to him. Fortunately they immediately saw him as the big brother they didn't have.

We didn't get married until we were both established in our first jobs after graduating. We both worked ridiculous hours; he at a leading cancer hospital and me at the biggest Corporate lawyers in town. But we still made time for us. We ate out together and spent many hours just walking and talking. We fell more deeply in love in those times because they were so precious. We both knew that we needed to work hard in order to realise our dreams but we also knew that our times together were really important too.

The wedding was a smallish affair. We had about a hundred guests, both family and friends. My sisters were my bridesmaids and we had such a beautiful day. Steve's speech made me melt. He compared our love to the earth – timeless but adaptable to any situation. He promised me in front of everyone that he would love me to the end of time. He made me cry, I was so happy.

In the time we have been married we have both climbed the ladder in our various professions. I became the youngest female Associate ever in our firm. Steve became the assistant head of Palliative Care at his hospital. Our dreams were on track. We were madly in love and simply loving life

Part of my job is to travel to our clients' places of business. This means out of state travel, not often but probably once every couple of months. We could usually sort out what needed to be done with a single visit of a few days.

We usually travelled with the same team. One of the team was my direct boss, Tony Williams. He was a few years older than me, divorced and quite handsome, in a rugged, outdoors way. He loved to go hiking in his spare time and many a time regaled the team with his adventures during his annual holidays. We worked really well together.

One particular client had more problems than we expected so we ended up having to visit them four times in six weeks. It was unfortunate but necessary. I hated being away from Steve that much but I had little choice. It was part of my role at work and I was expected to fulfil my role.

During the second visit I became ill, so ill that I needed to see a doctor while I was there. Tony was so nice to me then. He insisted that I do no work and that the rest of the team could handle it. I was so grateful that he was there. Being ill in a strange town was bad enough but at least I got a little pampered while I was there.

I had a urinary tract infection, which made it hard to pee because it hurt so much. Sex was certainly out of the question. By the time I got home I was feeling awful. All I wanted to do was have Steve hold me and make me feel better.

When I got home that Friday night I told Steve I was worn down and just wanted to lay in bed with him. He began to get amorous but I wasn't in the mood. I lashed out, told him that I was tired and to top it off I told him that I'd been feeling off all week and that Tony looked after me.

What actually happened was that he wanted sex and wasn't going to take no for an answer. I got angry because all I wanted was to be held. He'd never been like that before so I thought about why he would treat me like that. Two scenarios ran through my head. The rational one was that he was horny and wanted relief. The irrational one was that he had done something bad and needed to atone for it. In my tired, angry and unwell state I decided that he had done something really bad. All that I could think of was that he had cheated on me.

The rest of that weekend was one of stony silence. I still felt terrible and to make matters worse I had to go back to our out of state clients that Monday to try and finish what needed to be done. Fortunately there were no unsolvable problems. By mid-week all was fixed and we came home.

In a short space of time we made a few decisions that ended up being really positive both for our clients and our firm. We saved one company from bankruptcy by exposing a thief in their midst and helped another company stave off a hostile takeover. We were getting a lot of notice from the Partners and we were usually talked about together – we were a team and a damn good one.

Last week we had our annual mid year function for the Partners and Associates. I know Steve usually hated these things, simply because we spoke 'shop' for much of the night. It was never a casual evening. The sharks always circled and positioned themselves to be seen in a positive light. I was glad that I didn't have to worry about hat this year because of our spectacular successes.

I wore my LBD, my little black dress. I knew Steve loved the way I looked in it. I made sure that he knew that I was looking forward more to the end of the evening when we got home than the actual dinner itself.

The night was typical of those occasions. The Partners held the floor and various associates gathered around them hoping for recognition. Tony and I spent a fair bit of the night talking together, mainly by ourselves because none of the other lawyers could afford not to schmooze with the Partners.

Steve spent his evening at our table. He hated lawyers in general and many of my colleagues in particular. He seemed particularly antagonistic towards Tony. I wasn't sure why. If he got to know him I know he and Tony would get on with each other.

Anyway, the highlight of the night was the awards ceremony. Every time we had a function like this the Partners gave out awards. They were partially tongue in cheek and good for a laugh, but all the Associates knew that there was a seriousness beneath the surface. They were things like the Associate most likely to be made Partner, most likely to stay in the position that they were in, and things like that. The final award was for the Associates most likely to form the best Partnership. It was awarded to Tony and me.

I flushed with pride as I stood and went to collect my award. Halfway to the microphone Tony joined me and gave me a big kiss on the lips. Everyone cheered and I just laughed. Nothing could hurt me. I was really proud of the work I had been doing and I knew that the Partners appreciated all the hard work we had done.

Tony got to the microphone first to thank the Partners. He said that we were a great team, a great partnership. He said that we could anticipate what the other was thinking and what they needed. He added to that, "Especially while we are out of state." He said it in a joking fashion and everyone laughed. I laughed as well, as did Tony and the Partners.

I took the microphone and said, "It's great working so closely with someone who fulfils my professional life as well as Tony. Without him I'd be lost."

Everyone laughed and cheered at that. We went back to our tables. I looked up but Steve wasn't there. I looked around and didn't see him. I thought he'd gone to the toilet so didn't think anything of it. When he didn't come back after a while I was worried. Maybe he was unwell. I asked Tony, who had joined me at my table, to see if he was in the men's room. Tony left and came back a short while later. "Noone in the men's room. It was totally empty."

I thought to myself that maybe he was embarrassed that Tony and I were awarded together. Noone else was given an award with anyone else. I was beginning to have a really bad feeling in my tummy. I have no idea why but I did. I didn't have my phone with me so I decided to go to our car. I said my goodbyes, complaining of a headache and left.

Our car was still there. I got in and began to drive home. Tony ran out of the building and flagged me down. There was real concern on his face.

"Are you OK? You left really suddenly."

"I'll be OK when I get home and talk to Steve. I think he's gone home." I was babbling.

Tony said, "Are you OK to drive? You seem really shook up."

"I'll be fine," I said.

"You're not fine. Let's get a coffee. It'll give you time to settle down. It'll only take five minutes."

I thought that was a good idea. There was an all-night coffee shop next to the hotel that the dinner was held at. I parked my car and went inside with Tony. He held my hand as I had a million bad thoughts running through my mind. It was thirty minutes later that I eventually left and drove home.

There were no lights on. I parked my car and went inside. No sign of anyone. I went to the bedroom – no Steve. I began to panic. "Where the hell is he?" I thought.

I went back into the lounge and turned on the light. There, propped up on the coffee table was an envelope with 'Caitlyn' written on the front. My heart sank and I felt a real sense of dread when I opened it.

Caitlyn,

It seems to me that I have been replaced by Tony. With all your travel with him recently and the way you behaved with him tonight it is obvious what is going on. I suspected something was up but tonight in front of your peers I think it was confirmed.

I'm taking some time off from work and am going to spend some time by myself. I need to work a few things out. Please don't try and contact me. I will see your Caller ID on my phone and will simply ignore it.

I'll be in touch soon.

Steve

I collapsed onto the ground. I was sobbing my heart out. I felt myself being lifted up. Tony had followed me home and heard me crying. He sat me down and went to put the kettle on.

I showed him Steve's letter. "Why would he think we're sleeping together? I know we are great partners at work but I've never even tried anything with you Caitlyn."

"I know that Tony, and I really appreciate it too, not making things awkward by doing something stupid. But I don't know how he got the impression that we were."

As I talked things out with Tony I began to get really angry. "How dare Steve think that I'd betray him like that? I've never even thought of sleeping around. Bastard. He's probably just covering his own tracks."

"What will you do," asked Tony?

"I think I might take some time off from work. There's nothing really important on deck is there?"

"No," said Tony. "Nothing that can't be handled without you, anyway."

"Then I'll try and think this through and see how he got this stupid idea into that thick skull of his. Thanks, Tony, for being here"

"My pleasure, Caitlyn," he replied. Then he left.

HIM

I met the love of my life when I was an undergrad, studying Pre-Med. We kept on turning up at the same places; coffee shops, restaurants, parties. I eventually got up the courage to ask her out. I was overjoyed when she said yes.

Let me describe this goddess for you. She was tall, at least 5'10" and thin. Because she was so thin, her C cup boobs looks much bigger. She had a pert little ass that looked good in anything from jeans to business wear. Her long, dark hair was usually tied back but when it was out it reached almost to her ass. It was beautiful. She had piercing blue eyes and a cute dimple in the middle of her chin. She was gorgeous.

I fell for her, hard. It was all I could do to keep my hands off her. When we eventually slept together I remember hoping that the sex would be okay because I didn't want to give this girl up.

It was better than okay. It was spectacular. We made love slowly. I teased her, kissing her all over before I got to any erogenous zones. When I got there I heard her breathing become ragged. By the time I got to her pussy she was purring. It didn't take me long to bring her to orgasm with my tongue.

I didn't think I was terribly experienced with my tongue but it obviously worked on Caitlyn. We went on to make slow, beautiful love. It was exquisite. By the time I entered her we seemed to be totally able to read each other's responses. I'd never experienced a partner that seemed so suited to me.

We stayed awake almost that whole first night exploring, teasing, loving, fucking. It was the most memorable sexual experience of my life.

We were lucky enough to be able to continue our love for each other throughout Grad School. I asked her to marry me not long before we both graduated and was elated when she said yes.

The wedding was beautiful. My bride was perfect. Her wedding dress was understated, but spectacular. What she wore underneath it was amazing. Pure white corset, tiny G String, stockings, the works. I had the sort of wedding night most men dream of. I was glad that I didn't drink too much. I'd heard too many stories of grooms not able to consummate their marriage because of the booze.

We were lucky enough to land the sorts of jobs we had dreamed of. I was in a cancer hospital and Caitlyn was in the corporate sector of a large law firm. She was doing spectacularly well and made Associate Partner not long after she started. She was elated.

Unfortunately this meant more out of state travel. She seemed to always go with the same person, Tony Williams. The first time she travelled with him she came home and could talk of nothing else but how wonderful Tony had been. I was a little miffed that she seemed so enthusiastic.

Nothing changed at home. Our sex life was great and there wasn't any change there.

The next time she travelled, again with Tony Williams, she almost gushed with enthusiasm for how wonderful a person Tony was.

This happened every time she travelled. Then there was one trip, or should I say series of trips. Apparently one particular client needed three or four visits from Caitlyn (and Tony) before their mess was cleared up. Each time Caitlyn came home she was too tired to make love. This had never happened before. In between trips, on two separate occasions we didn't make love at all.

After the second of that series of trips Caitlyn didn't want to make love but I did. I tried to get her in the mood. All she did was say that when she was away and feeling low that Tony looked after her.

To say I was worried was an understatement. My immediate thought was that she was getting it elsewhere and Tony was the logical choice, given how she enthusiastically spoke about him every time she could.

I had no proof but her demeanour was pretty damning.

Then we had the dinner. She spent most of the night with Tony, leaving me to my own devices. I hated those nights anyway but this one was particularly bad. Then they got to the prize giving. Surprise, surprise, Caitlyn and Tony got an award for the most likely to, I dunno, fuck each other or something. Then I watched their body language while they walked up to get their award and while on stage. It was obvious to me that they had slept together. Then he kissed her. They both made comments that could have been entirely innocent but in front of everyone it sounded like Caitlyn was making a decision that she preferred Tony to me.

I was humiliated. I imagined that everyone in the room was laughing at me because I seemed to be the only one upset with her decision. Her work colleagues thought it was great. So I left.

I was angry and caught a taxi home without really knowing that I did. I packed a bag and wrote a note to Caitlyn explaining that I needed time out to think a few things through.

When I was ready to leave, about 5 minutes after I got home, I sat and thought about it. By now Caitlyn will have realised that I was at home so I thought I'd wait the few minutes it should have taken her. I actually waited for half an hour. There was no sign of her so I put my stuff in my car and left. As I turned out of our street I saw her car coming the other way. I was just about to turn around and come home when I saw that there was a car following her. I looked closely at who it was. Of course, Tony Williams. No surprise there. So I kept driving, certain that my marriage to a woman I thought was my soul mate, was over.

HER

I was frantic, but not so worried that I was going to get my knickers in a twist. I was actually really angry. He's probably stepped out on me while I was working out of state and now he thinks I'm the one having the affair? That just goes to show, when you think you know someone, you actually may not. I thought I knew Steve well but apparently either I'm not as observant as I thought or he's a really good liar.

I decided that I would just wait and see. I was glad of the time off work, though. It gave me a chance to re-energise myself. I must admit, though, I did spend some time wondering what Tony would be like in the sack, with his rugged good look and his out-doorsy attitude. It gave me a bit of a thrill when I thought about it. I knew he cared for me so it wasn't too big a leap to think he might be interested in a bit of horizontal dancing.

HIM

I drove for a few hours, had a short nap and then drove again. This went on for about a day. Finally I was far enough away that I was not weighed down by proximity. I had driven, inadvertently, to a mountain resort that I loved. It was a perfect place to spend some time pondering the future.

If Caitlyn wanted out to be with Tony I was damned if I would let that happen easily. I knew a bit about divorce law and, even though she was a lawyer, I knew that if there was infidelity on her part I would get a majority judgement.

Then I thought what I'd do. There was any number of nurses where I work who'd made it pretty obvious that they wouldn't mind getting up close and personal with me. This might just be what I needed.

HER

I was going mad with anger and anxiety. When was he going to call? I'd worked out exactly what I was going to say. I would tell him in no uncertain terms what I thought of him. I would say that it was ridiculous to think Tony and I were sleeping together, and I would tell him that if he actually believed that we were it wouldn't be too hard for me to make it happen. If he wanted out of the marriage I would drag his ass through the courts so hard that he wouldn't be able to sit down for a year. I would ruin him and his 'holier than thou, doctor' personality.