Physiological Urge to Cheat

"You're not gonna come over and talk to me?" Erin was eying me as I sat on the couch at a friend's birthday party. She stood a few feet away, but it was like she had some weird power over me, almost big sisterly but totally sexual. This sort of switch turned on in the back of my head whenever we were in the same room. It wasn't definable. I didn't love her and I felt more than lust for her, cared about her happiness. She was only a year older than me, but it felt like she was an older woman, even when we were in high school taking the same math classes.

"Not if I can help it." She faux frowned. Part of our game, poking and prodding each other. She wore a loose blouse and jeans, she looked thinner than the last time I'd seen her. She went from fit to chubby and back, seemingly every couple months. But God, it didn't matter, there was something about her that I was always attracted too. She wasn't real curvy, plain face...had plump tits, amazing legs. Whenever I saw Renaissance paintings I thought of her, that sort of face that must of turned guys on centuries ago.

"Oh, so it wasn't you that flew down to DC last fall just to see me?" I'd broken up with a girl and had been talking to Erin every night, which lead to a Halloween weekend sex marathon.

"I get in trouble when I'm around you." She sat down against me, drink in hand, flipped her light brown hair. I could smell her, I felt her heat radiating and was instantly aroused.

"I heard from my sister that you were getting engaged. I wish you would of told me, Jay. It kinda hurt." She was an emotional mess for as long as I'd known her. Which meant she was honest. Ever since we first messed around in high school I'd been someone she could talk to. Maybe I took advantage sometimes.

"Danielle is a good girl, she went to our school briefly, you probably wouldn't recognize her." She looked around.

"Did she come? I'd like to meet her. I'm sure she's gorgeous." Here's where in the past I'd step in and tell her she's incredibly attractive, which would lead to a night of intense lovemaking before she had to travel back to DC. But this was a new era for me. I had to place Erin firmly in the past.

"She's a nurse, works crazy hours. I've a pic on my phone." I dug out my cell and showed her a candid winter shot of my girlfriend.

"I'm glad you've got it together. I'm recently dumped. He was about to move in and get serious, instead he jumped ship." She smirked, I smiled. She was self-deprecating in that fun, easy-going sort of way.

"Truth is, he wasn't that great looking; super boring, did me a favor by dumping me."

"Really?" She nodded.

"If I stayed with him I would've missed out on some of the dirtiest sex of my life. I met this guy in my building, we've had many nights of fun... He's got a girlfriend in Baltimore. I've accepted it for what it is."

"Well, Erin, I'm glad if you're not with the man of your dreams you're at least fucking your brains out."

"Thanks, Jay." We were still in that friendly banter mode, so I figured I was safe for a while longer sitting there with her talking about sex. That was our thing. I was like a girlfriend of hers one moment and the guy trying to get in her pants the next. Hopefully, we'd stay in the friend mode. Odd, I should want to simulate a female friendship, but I guess it was for my own protection.

"I've told Danielle a lot about you, she knows you seduced me and took my boyhood away." Erin laughed and hit me hard.

"On stage... I was technically a virgin too, so don't go making me out to be some seducer." It was after school, a bunch of us used to hang out in this hallway behind the auditorium until our parents came to pick us up. There was all the normal flirting, I was actually interested in Erin's sister. It just so happened that one night my mom got off late. Erin and me were alone waiting for her sister to finish volleyball, the stage had a bedroom setting for some musical. We exchanged oral and ended up having sex on the prop bed.

"She knows you're one of my favorite people--you've been portrayed well." She stroked my arm where she'd just punched me.

"I'm glad, Jay." Danielle knew we had had sex off and on, she didn't exactly know how many times. She'd thought we were just that type of screwed up friendship, where the sex is just something we fell into when we were bored/horny and it wasn't as important as the banter. God, that summer she came back from college, all the breaks when I was in college, there were strings of nights every break for about five years...

"I guess they want to go swim, you bring your suit?" She always wore a one-piece, I'd been to plenty of swimming parties at her house. She'd always been the only girl in a one-piece, even those summers she could pull off a bikini.

"No way. Did you?"

"I'm a guy, boxers count as a suit if there's swimming."

"Except swimming trunks are made to hide the inevitable shrinkage. Boxers don't at all." She smiled and glanced down at my crotch for an instant.

"Yes, the dreaded swimming pool disappearing act. I'm actually wearing shorts without a button, so my little guy might peek out...I guess I won't be swimming either."

"That's too bad, cuz even with the curse of the swimming pool yours is still nicer than my ex's at full mast." She was starting down that path, eyes narrowing, voice lowered. None of my friends understood why I kept hooking up with her. They couldn't fathom how great she actually was in bed. For the sake of my future marriage I couldn't be reminded.

"My sailor thanks you, but I told the guys I'd play some pool with them downstairs." She pouted, let me get up and go down to the basement. The girls didn't go down to the rec room unless they were retrieving a boy. So I was safe, drinking and laughing with some of my oldest friends.

"Jay, what are the girls doing?"

"Swimming maybe, I don't know." Rick eyed me. Paul and Rob looked at each other.

"God, Jay, don't do it." Apparently, word of me on the couch with Erin had spread.

"Yeah, Danielle is a knock-out kid."

"I know, it's nothing. I'm not eighteen anymore." They laughed.

"Really, Jay, I'd sell my own mother just to sniff your girl's panties." Everyone laughed. Rob was good at saying the most inappropriate thing at just the right moment.

"Plus it's nasty, Jay." Paul put his two cents in, even though I was sure he'd slept with Erin more than a couple times. She wasn't a slut, she could be a dirty girl in all the right ways, but she wasn't sleeping with a different guy every week.

"Leave him alone, he knows what he's doing." My boy, Russ, got my back.

"We're just curious, kid, we all have girls like Erin we think about--even if we don't want to date them or let anyone know we talk to them."

"Hey, I was never that bad. Paulie was banging Mike's little sister for months before he found out." Glad Mike wasn't there.

"Hey, this isn't about me. We're just having a laugh...at your expense maybe, but I mean it's a funny situation. She's gotta be in love with you, Jay."

"It looks like that, but I mean, it's not at all..." Kevin hadn't said anything this whole time, he interrupted me:

"Buddy, sorry to let you in on this non-secret, but Erin has told Katie, my sister, all our sisters, that she's in love with you and has been since Sophmore year." I always figured they were playing with me when they told me that. I felt bad, she'd never stated she wanted to be my girlfriend. I'd always been the one saying, "Hey, when are we gonna get together?" as in try to be a couple. But she never took it seriously, probably because I didn't seem serious about it.

"Jay, you think Erin's different than any other girl? Just because she seems like she's cool and wants to kick it, doesn't mean she hasn't been crying in her bed every night over not having your babies and playing your wife." Rob was serious for a moment, which made me feel real bad.

"Why do you think Kimmie wouldn't go out with you in high school? It wasn't because she was out of your league...her sister had already claimed you."

"Well, girl property rights are pretty broad. Kiss one and you get shunned by the rest."

"Erin knows she's out of your league, sleeping with her a few times a year only makes it worse for her. It's frankly not very healthy, Jay-Jay." Everyone laughed after our tense little conversation. Katie came down and said we were going for an ice cream run. Which meant, the boys were going to go get ice cream for the girls before the ice cream stand closed for the night. I got my keys and Erin appeared.

"Hey, Jay, I'll go with you." The other four guys saw and piled into one car and escaped before I could pull someone else in with me. It was a fifteen minute drive, we were silent for the first few minutes, finally she spoke.

"You don't have to avoid me, I'm not going to attack you... I just thought we were really friends." She was hurt, I wanted to disappear into the seat.

"You know we're really friends. We know just about everything about each other. I care about you, I'm sorry if I keep my distance sometimes. You know it's because I want to be good to Danielle." She frowned.

"I guess I'm just sad that I don't get to see you as much. It's so girlie, but when you don't call me back or return an email I feel gross, like I'm not good enough for some little message or thought in return." She was always pretty demanding, it had never really been a girlfriend type of maintenance though. She'd grab me by the cock and drag me to the bedroom but wouldn't insist that I call her when I got home.

"Erin, there's nothing gross about you, it's just that I have to make sure we stay friends and don't have some sort of blow up, jealousy, all that sorta stuff. God, there's a female hall of fame in my head and believe me, you've got a whole wing dedicated to you." She smiled. I didn't go so far as to say she was my all-time masturbatory fantasy, but it would of been a true statement. It was something physiological that I had for her and her body.

"I guess I'm honored, but you're just saying we can't be together because of how attracted you are to me." She frowned.

"You know a relationship is more than attraction and being able to talk openly." We arrived at the ice cream store, sat and shared a dish while they prepared the other sundaes for our friends back at the house.

"Is it because I won't let you put it in my butt?" She whispered it, but said it loud enough that this middle aged couple could hear. We both laughed and pretty much escaped with our ice cream back to my car. She was summer tan, had serious brown eyes, looked great in the little light. I started the car and we were off.

"I don't think anal is a make or break kind of thing. Most guys lose interest in it once they try it once or twice." I wanted to steer the conversation toward generalizations, but she didn't.

"I've actually tried it...of course it only lasted like twenty seconds before I punched him. You had no chance getting in, not even if we were serious...too fucking big. But I mean I've always liked the things we did, fingers, toes, your magic tongue." She blushed at her own words.

"Okay, let's not go into detail about our sex life." She giggled.

"Squeamish?"

"Horny?" She crinkled her nose at me.

"C'mon, we just shared a spoon, we can be honest with each other."

"Ahh, stop, my girlfriend is gonna ask how the party went, who was there, what we talked about."

"Well, then you'll just have to tell her what your ice cream tasted like with my saliva."

"Yeah, that's just what I'm going to tell her, thanks for the imagery, Erin."

"You just frame that thought and put it up in your wanker hall of fame." She was needling me pretty good.

"I knew I shouldn't have told you about that."

"Please, everyone's got something like that: a group of people, images, smells, they think about the most when they're diddling. -If you're curious, you're still the MVP, the star of my late night, sticky adventures." I laughed, she was very good at the graphic. I knew what she meant by smells. Danielle was intoxicating when she was worked up; Erin, not so much.

"Okay, Jay, we'll stop, just one last friendly share before we get back to Katie's. What's your favorite thing we ever did in or out of bed?" Her eyes were fixed on me, the little make up she wore glowed in the little light.

"Easy--you handcuffed to your bed at Kimmie's 21st birthday party, covered in whipped cream, or was it marshmallow?" She giggled.

"I think we started with whipped cream but ran out and switched to marshmallow. Then again we were out of our minds. Glad there's no evidence." She was quiet.

"I thought we were both gonna share?"

"Oh yeah, I was just thinking about those handcuffs, trying to remember what happened to them. -For me it was up in Toronto in that hotel bathtub. The first night was like the most intense animalistic exercise regimen, then the next we just relaxed in that huge bathtub for hours, and you were so sweet to me." We pulled back in the drive at Katie's, the guys were back, the ice cream in the tray over Erin's lap was a little melted. When Erin was out of earshot I was accused of receiving road head, hand jobs, full on interstate intercourse.

"Thanks guys, I'd love for your bullshit to reach the ears of my future wife."

"Don't be bummed, Jay, who else has known you for as long as we have? We're just looking out for you, trying to mock you into not doing the inevitable." They drifted off to their girlfriends, taking some shots, some making out, some trivia game. Erin left before me, said goodbye and made me promise to call her before the Fourth of July.

Everyone else left a good twenty minutes later. I took Tim home, which was close by, I lived maybe twenty minutes away. I decided not to get back on the interstate, wanted to take the back roads in the dark, stars and moon and all that nice background. I don't know if I planned on driving by Erin's house, there were a couple ways to get where I was going, but I was a solid four miles from her house when I came upon her SUV on the side of the road, flashers on. She was trying to change her tire.

"Jay, I swear I learned how to do this. But I can't get it to turn." I flipped the wheel lock and she began turning. She was struggling on the last one when I took the tool from her and removed the wheel, put the new one on and fastened it.

"Thanks, Jay." She hugged me, kissed the side of my mouth and closed the trunk.

"Looks like it was just worn, you should get all your tires checked." She was messing with the hub cap.

"I will, thanks for your help, you can go if you want." I watched her struggle with the cap until she jammed it in, still not sitting exactly right.

"I'll fix it tomorrow morning." She wiped her hands and looked at me, curious why I was still standing there.

"I'm not gonna leave you on the side of the road in the dark. I'll drive with you to your house."

"Make sure I get home?" She hugged me again, pressed her breasts to my chest, that instantly recognizable invitation to her body. She stopped me when I stepped away to go to my car.

"Jay, it's not even one yet, you can come over for a bit. We only really got to talk driving to and from the ice cream stand." I nodded, got in my car and followed her back to her parent's house. I pulled in the driveway next to her car, the lights were all out. We walked silently in the front door and through the living room and down the steps to her old room in the basement. Her and her sister both had rooms in the basement, it was all nicely furnished, probably used to be an apartment because there was a kitchen down there.

We sat on her bed, she showed me some pictures from her recent trip to London. Her breathing was heavier, she was sitting against me to point out different things. Her heat was evident, she rested her head on my shoulder now and then. I was aroused, tenting my jeans, trying to disguise the fact, but she had to know.

"My hair was shorter. Do you think I should get it cut like that again?" She looked at me like it was a serious life altering decision.

"No, I like it long, I always liked it long on you." She stared at me, but it was her breath against my cheek that made me lose all self-control. She kissed my mouth and I kissed her back with desire. She put her arms around my neck, mine moved to her waist. We made out like we did in high school, heavy, sloppy, hands groping the other's body. Her breasts were as soft and firm as I remembered. I held them over her blouse while she sucked on my tongue.

She liked to tease me while we were kissing, rub and squeeze my cock over my pants. She wasn't playing around, she pulled back and tore off her blouse, revealing her black bra and full tits. I ripped her bra off her, suckled her, kissed her tan lines. She was moaning, kneeling into me on the bed.

"I need you, Jay, it's been too long, I want you in me." She pulled my shirt off over my head, ran her hands down my chest, played with my hair in her fingers, unbuckled my belt with her other hand. I stood and she pulled my pants down, cock straining to get out of my boxers. She leaned toward me and took the head of my penis in her mouth over my cotton underwear. Her mouth was pure heat, I almost lost it right then.

"Lay down." She looked up at me then fell back on the bed. I pulled her pants down, revealing her thick thighs and those immaculate legs, black bikini cut panties to match her bra. I threw her panties down on the floor next to her discarded bra. I took off my shorts to match her nakedness. Studied her labia. They were mostly shaved, she still had hair but it was less than I remembered. I stared at her plump lips like a zombie until she pulled me toward her by my cock.

Erin leaned toward me on her elbow while she gave me head. That was probably her best sexual gift, she gave fantastic, wet, slippery oral. We used to make wagers and the winner would get as much oral as they wanted for the night. Which was torture for me those nights I lost. It's not that her scent wasn't desirable, but the taste could get to you at three in the morning after about the tenth go around. That's where I learned to like licking ass. It was a way to get a break from the demands of her pussy--and did she ever like receiving oral, sometimes a finger in her ass, always tongue on her clit. But it was heaven getting a blow job from her, not to mention as many as I could stand in a night. I'd probably roll through a pricker bush naked if I knew I'd get her mouth on me as reward. She pulled her mouth off and looked up at me.

"How do you want me, Jay?" I nudged her down on her back, her plump tits jiggling as I mounted her chubby thighs, placing myself at her near bald puss. Finally, I was furrowing between her little lips, finding her hole and pushing. She gasped, lifted her knees to my sides, wrapped her arms around my arms as I buried myself in her. She wasn't as snug as she once was, but it was irrelevant, still fucking brilliant. I couldn't hold back. I went right into a steady rut with her, I needed to both be entirely inside her and also have just the tip of me at her entrance.

"You make me feel so good, Jay. We can't stop." She was kissing me, our lips were smacking, tasting each other's tongues, necks, ears. We fucked for a few minutes like that, attacking each other. She lifted her legs higher and her thighs shook. Erin came hard, drove her pelvis up. I paused and felt her juices leak down between her ass and my balls.

"Erin, do you have a condom." It was a little late for that, but I needed to come hard. I kept fucking her as she came down from her come and thought about whether there was a condom anywhere in the universe.

"Yuck, this is my parent's house, no." I laughed, fucked her harder, drove myself into her.