Pitching to Mom

It was hard to imagine my mother in that position. I took some of the blame; after all she was doing it for me. I couldn't stand the idea that she would consider marrying Arnold just because we had some money problems.

Reading over the first sentences I could understand someone thinking it was a sexual reference, and I guess in a way it was, because I certainly didn't want to imagine my mother with Arnold. We'd even talked about it. I was upset with the whole situation and actually said to her, "Mom, how could you sleep with that guy?"

She said, "That's none of your business mister, and anyway, I didn't sleep with him." She looked at me and raised her eyebrows. She said, "I told him I wouldn't unless we were married." I know that's almost a laughable statement in this day and age, but that's my mom.

I said, "Yeah and if you get married, then what?"

She laughed and said, "I don't know, I'll have headache"

I said, "Yeah, one that lasts for ten years?"

She said, "Oh John, I didn't say I was going to marry him, I only said I'd think about it. Look I want you to go to college, and before we know it, they'll probably be turning off the lights and coming at my credit cards with scissors."

I said, "Mom, it's not that bad, is it? I can help out; the coach told me I might get a scholarship or an offer if I keep pitching the way I've been."

I'd only pitched five games in high school. I was a third basemen with an anemic batting average and a good arm. When one of our pitchers was injured, Coach Hagen threw me in as a last resort. We won the game and I kept pitching. A sinking fast ball and sharp curve were good enough to get us four wins out of five, and the coach started working me up seriously as a pitcher.

I said, "I could make a lot of money playing ball mom, then I could take care of you."

She said, "You're so sweet Johnny." She kissed me, gave me a hug, and said, "You just go to school, I'll figure out the money part."

I said, "Not with Arnold, mom."

She laughed, "Okay, not with Arnold. How come I never meet men as sweet and good looking as my son, can you tell me that?"

I said, "I'll look around for you mom." She smiled and gave me another hug.

That was over a year ago. As it turned out my pitching was good enough to get me a one year minor league contract and a bonus after I graduated. That sounds great doesn't it, like I was on the way to the big leagues. Well the reality is that the bonus wiped out only half of our credit card debt, and I was making all of a thousand dollars a month. That doesn't take you on a trip around the bases. But it was enough to make things easier, even though mom was dead set against it. She wanted me to go to college and become an Indian Chief or something. It wasn't for me, and I thought that if I worked hard enough I could make it playing ball.

Mom and I talked a lot about what we'd do if I ever made it to the Majors. It was kind of a fantasy game with spacious houses, cars, restaurants and all that stuff. And it was her and me. I guess that's how it was for most of my life. And after I graduated, I felt that there was something more between my mother and me. I was aware of the attraction and knew that it went both ways, but I thought that mom wasn't conscious of it.

Her hugs brought her body in full contact with mine, her kisses were more often on my lips than on my cheeks, and I started seeing just a little more flesh than most son's would be privy to. Yes, I was attracted to her because she was pretty and had a good body, but I found it more amusing than real, especially since I felt that she never realized how seductive she was being.

The only other people I was close to was the Bando family upstairs. While I was in elementary school, I always stayed with them between three and six until mom came home from work. Mr. Bando was never there because he was at work, but Mrs. Bando, Laurie, and Jennifer were.

Laurie was about two years older and Jennifer was about my age. Jen was sort of my girlfriend right up through high school. I say sort of because we were more friends than anything else. We didn't do much more than make out in Junior high but when we got to high school, Jen became more aggressive and we got into some heavy petting. I had the feeling that if I tried to sleep with her she would have let me, but I didn't press the issue. The way she talked she probably thought I wanted her to be a virgin until we got married.

That was one assumption she made, there were a lot of them. Mom, the Bando's, and Jennifer, assumed we would get married. It was my fault for letting it go so long. Just before I left for rookie camp after graduation, we were in her room listening to a new CD she'd downloaded, and Jennifer said, "Should we get married in the winter or the spring?"

I wasn't ready for the question and I stammered, "Jen...I don't know."

She heard the tone in my voice and said, "You don't know what?"

I said, "Well, I don't know if the timing is right to get married. I have to see how things work out with the club and..."

She said, "What does that that have to do with us being together...don't you want to marry me?"

I said, "I don't know..." And I didn't

Through her tears, she said one of the most heartbreaking sentences I'd ever heard, "How could you not love me, when I love you so much?"

I tried to make her feel better by telling her that I did love her but...and it's the 'but' that tells the story, because it meant to her that I didn't love her enough, and it was probably true.

Then she went down a totally unexpected avenue. She said, "It's because we don't have sex isn't it? I wanted to Johnny; I thought you...let's do it now Johnny." She got a bit wild eyed and starting taking off her clothes.

I said, "Not like this Jen...Laurie's out there..."

She said, "I don't care. Yes baby now, please, I want to." She took off her bra and came to my arms kissing me with more passion than she'd ever showed. She put her hand on me and I guess I was no longer up for protesting, I was up for sex. I know that she thought that once we had sex everything would be fine.

Her body was sweet and girly. She had small firm tits with BB's for nipples and a slim frame. I was inside her before long and she was in such an excited state to begin with, that it was only after about five minutes of penetrations when she arched a little and made a gasping sound. When I rubbed her clit she went over the top. She was moaning "Oh Johnny..." I pulled out so as not to release inside her. I wanted to come, so I straddled over her belly thinking I would be in her mouth. I know she would have let me.

Now this will sound strange; I didn't feel right doing it. I felt as if I would be taking unfair advantage of her, and so I just stayed there. She said, "Tell me what to do Johnny."

I said, "Just touch me." She put her hand on my dick and I rubbed on her belly until I came.

She said hopefully. "That was great wasn't it baby?"

I said, "Sure." It was her first time, and I guess it was okay for her even if I wasn't that experienced, but it was obvious to me that that there was no magic spell being cast. I was not feeling good about the whole thing. But in my cowardice, I didn't tell Jennifer straight out that it wasn't going to work, and I slept with her a few more times.

The day did come when I told Jennifer that we couldn't go on. It was bad. I didn't like myself very much, but I hoped never to make that same mistake again.

My rookie season helped me to keep that promise to myself. Being on the road, I didn't get involved with anyone for long, but we met lots of women that were fans, some of whom were hopeful of hitching their wagon to a future star. That made it easy to have short term relationships. I learned a lot about women, and sex, in one year.

I still spent most of my time at home with mom. She had broken it off with Arnold and hadn't gone out with anyone since, even though I had encouraged it. She got very flirty when I told her she was too good looking to be alone. She said, "Don't you think I'm getting heavy?" She was standing near a mirror and took a deep breath, ending up in a pose that had her on her toes with one hand on her flattened belly and one just above her bottom. All the right parts jutted out provocatively.

I said, "You've got exactly what men like mom."

She smiled and said, "Not too much?" She put a hand under her breasts and the other on her rear. She had a woman's body and as far as I could see, nothing needed changing.

I said, "Perfect mom; you've got a great ass."

She laughed and said, "I still think I could lose a few pounds, but thank you honey, that's the nicest thing I've heard in a long time. Come give your momma a kiss." I took the short kiss and the long hug, and not for the first time that year, I felt a stirring in my pants from my mother's body.

I came home from a long road trip toward the end of the season and she said, "I miss you when you're away, but I guess you have a good time with all your one night stands." I was particularly turned on to her that day because she had this soft red cotton top on and I could see that she didn't have a bra on.

I said, "I love playing ball mom, but I don't go out that much anymore. It's getting old, and there's one person who's been on my mind a lot."

She hesitantly said, "Oh? You didn't tell me you had anyone special."

I said, "It's a rough situation, complicated, I think I fell in love with the wrong person."

She turned her back to me and said, "I know what that's all about; sometimes we do that." I could see her shoulders slump and I thought I heard a sniffle.

I came up behind her and put my hands on her shoulders. I said, "What's wrong mom?"

She was crying softly and she said, "Nothing."

I kissed her neck and said, "Tell me mom."

She put her arms behind her and held my waist pulling me close to her. She said, "Oh Johnny..."

The contact stimulated me and on impulse I brought my hands under her neck and slowly moved them down over her breasts. She caught her breath and said, "Johnny...?"

I said "I've wanted to touch you for a long time mom." She put her hands over mine, but she didn't stop me."

She said, "Oh honey, I thought it was only me, I didn't know you...thought of me like this."

I continued fondling her tits moving over the soft cotton that covered them. When I came across her nipples I could feel them jutting out. I said, "You're the one I always think about." My hands glided under the weighty globes to feel the heft and then I moved to the sides where the fullness of her breasts became evident.

I reached under her top and both hands contacted the velvety flesh of her uncovered breasts and she made a small whimpering sound. I closed my eyes and felt my heart thumping loudly as I held my mother's bare tits in my hands. She said, "Oh Johnny, we're starting something we can't finish." She turned to face me and said, "We can't honey...we can't."

I said, "Why not mom, I can, I want to."

She said, "Oh sweetheart, God, I want to also, but it would be incest...we can't."

I said, "Mom it's just a word, who cares, we want each other, we love each other don't we?"

"Of course we do. I love you more than anything in the world, but I know we'd be sorry if we do this."

I said, "Mom, I love you," and I kissed her fully. She kissed me back without hesitation and moaned as we kissed. I put my hand under her skirt between her legs, and felt the moisture from her pussy through her panties.

She didn't try to stop me as I slowly rubbed her, but she stopped the kiss and looked into my eyes pleadingly. She said, "Please don't fuck me Johnny."

I was shocked, and it wasn't only that she never said that word. I pulled back from her and said loudly, "What do you think, I'm going to force you if you don't want me to, is that what you think of me?"

She took my arms and said, "No baby of course not, I didn't mean it that way, it's me, I don't know if I can stop myself, I don't know what I'm doing. You touch me and...oh honey, I thought it was just a fantasy, and now you have the same fantasy, and it's probably my fault, I made you feel this way, I..."

I said, "Mom you didn't do anything, it just happens sometimes...it's hard to tell yourself who to love, and who to want."

"I guess I found that out too honey, but I can't sleep with my son, even if I want to, I can't..." She started crying and I held her. Her arms were between us and it kept our bodies out of contact, which was just as well. When she calmed down she went and got some tissues and said, "I'm sorry, honey... I'm sorry about everything."

I said, "There's nothing to be sorry about, we're still mother and son, we still love each other, and we'll work the other stuff out...you don't have to do anything you don't want to."

She said, "And you won't stop loving me?"

I smiled at her and said, "Never."

I was up early the next morning after a fitful night. If I had any fantasy of a late night visit from my naked mother coming in to my room and joining me in bed, it didn't happen. I left for the road without waking her to say goodbye. Even though I had been rebuffed, I couldn't stop thinking about how she moaned when I held her tits, and how she moved when I touched her pussy. I wanted her more than ever.

She started calling my cell every day and we had long intimate talks. Most of the guys thought I was talking to a girlfriend when I took the call in a quiet corner. When she called and asked what I was doing, I said, "I'm wanting you."

She said, "Oh honey, you shouldn't even say things like that, it just makes it worse."

I said, "So we should just make believe there's nothing between us, we don't love each other, and talk nonsense? That's going make everything fine?"

She was quiet for a moment and said, "No, maybe you're right, we should talk...keep things in the open. Maybe we can even find our way through this...yes... talk to me baby."

I said, "And you talk to me mom."

She said, "I will. I miss you and I want you too."

I said, "Thanks, mom."

She said, "Yes, it feels better to say it...I love you Johnny." Then she said, "Johnny, would you call me Maria? I never heard you call me by my name."

I said, "Okay Maria, I love you Maria."

She said, "I like that, yes, call me that sometimes okay baby?"

I said, "Okay. Does it make you more comfortable when we're talking like this if I call you Maria?"

She laughed, "Oh don't be so smart...yes, you know me, don't you. But I do love you, and I guess I've known it for a while. I didn't need convincing, but when I heard you and Jennifer one day, I knew."

I said, "What do you mean?"

She said, "I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I guess it isn't worse than what I've already told you. I was home early and you two were making love in your room...I couldn't tear myself away. She was so loud, and I could hear the pleasure in her voice, and I was jealous. I wanted to feel those things...and I wanted it to be with you. And I never heard a sound from you, even after it was all over, not one sound. I guess that's why I wasn't surprised when you ended it with her. Was I right Johnny?"

I said, "Yes, you're right, that was one of the reasons, but I didn't really love her mom. I think you were somewhere in my mind, even as just a crazy possibility, but I knew I loved you."

"Oh Johnny," she said. "Did we have to fall in love with each other?"

I said, "I don't know if we had to, but we did."

She exhaled and I said, "Before we say good night and hang up, close your eyes."

She said, "Why baby?"

I said, "So we can both imagine that I'm there, holding you and touching your breasts the way I did before I left."

She said, "Oh John..."

I said, "Mom, will you do that for me?"

She quietly said, "Yes honey." It was quiet for a long moment and I said, "You feel good Maria."

And she said, "You do too; goodnight honey."

Somehow mom felt freer to talk that way than when I was home. I mentioned it to her and she said, "I guess I feel safer when we're on the phone...oh, not from you honey...from me."

When I came home for a few days, she was very guarded, keeping her distance and watching what she said. There was a tension present that had never been between us. I said, "Mom, it doesn't make any sense for us to pretend we don't have these feelings when we're together does it? Can't we just be ourselves?"

She said, "I know, I know...I should try." She took a deep breath and said, "Okay baby, I'll try. You're probably right, it takes away some of the power it holds over me because I'm thinking about it so much, maybe if we don't make such a deal about it, we can both move on." I wanted to tell her that I didn't want to move on, I wanted to move in, inside her, but I was smart enough to shut up.

By the evening she really did seem more at ease. She gave me with a nice kiss on the mouth that tasted good. I said, "I love you Maria." She smiled and said, "Yes, and I love you, and that's good."

I sort of laughed and said, "Is this the new you?"

She said, "No, you were right, we don't have to hide how we feel about each other, because feeling love, and giving it, is what makes each day worthwhile. We don't have to give that up if we're not physical about it, right baby?"

I said, "Right," even though I wasn't crazy about 'Not physical' part of it.

On my final road trip for the season, I called and said, "I'll be home Wednesday evening and I'm taking you out, we have something to celebrate."

She said, "What? Tell me!"

I said, "Not until Wednesday, I'll see you between six thirty and seven, be ready."

She said, "I can't wait."

I rang the bell instead of using my key. When she asked who it was, I said, "Is there a Maria here, I have a date with her."

She recognized my voice and opened the door and said, "Honey?"

I said, "I have a blind date with a woman called Maria. They told me she was hot, so it must be you."

She laughed and got into the game by saying, "I'm Maria but I'm only hot when I'm standing in front of the oven. You must be John." She extended her hand and said, "It's a pleasure, and I'm not disappointed at all."

I reached into my bag and handed her a rose and a Snickers bar. She said, "Ooh, flowers and candy, my favorite. Thank you, John."

I threw my bag into the house and said, "Ready to go m'lady?"

She said, "Ready." She looked great, made up, and dressed up.

As we drove to the restaurant I said, "You're a lovely woman Maria." I put my hand on her knee and slid it over her thigh and said, "You look hot in stockings."

She said, "Do you always take such liberties on a first date?"

I said, "Yes," and she laughed.

At the restaurant we continued talking that way, and it afforded us a way of saying things that we might not have been able to say directly. I said, "So Maria, tell me something about yourself that nobody knows."

She said, "I love somebody...and the way I love them is...inappropriate."

I said, "If the two people are adults, and they're in love, how can that be inappropriate?"

She didn't look at me when she said, "He's my son."

I said, "Does he love you in the same way."

She said, "I think he does."

I said, "I can understand that Maria, first of all you're a lovely woman with a great body, and I can also see that you're a caring person that feels deeply and is full of passion."

She smiled, "Too much passion, John."

I said, "No such thing."

She moved in her chair and tried to change the subject and said, "Now you tell me, what was your childhood like?"

I said, "Nothing extraordinary, but I was close to my mom, and when I got older, I started to struggle with my feelings. She doesn't know how hard it was for me to get to a point where I could accept my own feelings, where I could say to her, 'I love you, I want you.' It isn't easy to tell your mother that you want to sleep with her, and at the same time, make her understand that it's not just about the sex. Maria, I've been with quite a few girls, but I'm not satisfied because there's no passion there for me. I wish my mom would understand that I want to sleep with her because I love her."