Please Someone, Open the BoxbyRonnie Wachuka©
"Ron honey, I'm home,"
Swiveling my recliner around I noticed that my wife Gerry had her arms full of bags that were stuffed full of goodies of some kind or other.
She and her girlfriend Freda had spent the day at their favorite past time, shopping and stopping off at all of the garage sales.
I'd spent the day trying to get the grass mowed as the rains had been extensive and after several weeks the grass had frankly gotten away from me.
Gerry walked to the fireplace while reaching into a bag. She pulled out a strange looking wooden box, placed it on the mantle, and headed for the kitchen.
Over her shoulder she said, "The box has a very interesting story. Let me put the bags on the table, visit the little girls room, make some lemonade, and then I'll tell you all about it."
The box aroused my curiosity as it looked to be very old and had strange markings on it. Putting my beer on the table next to me I rose, walked over to the mantle, and picked the box up to examine it.
The box itself was wood, about six inches wide by eight inches long, and stood about four inches high. It was so old that I couldn't identify the wood as it was almost black from time and circumstance. Etched into the box top and sides were strange markings that almost seemed familiar somehow. Thinking about it I remembered the picture in my history book of the Hammurabi Code with its strange markings. Interspersed with these markings were others I couldn't begin to identify.
If this was a box where were the hinges to open it and the hasp to keep it closed?
Perhaps it was like those Chinese puzzle boxes where you had to slide various pieces of wood in the correct sequence to open it. . . No such luck.
I still don't know how it happened but suddenly the lid popped up and I was immediately enveloped in a cloud of musty smelling dust and some sort of a gossamer blue cloud. The cloud emerged from the box like a tornado or a swirling dervish.
I had inhaled and swallowed some of that damn dust and started sneezing and coughing as the cloud landed on the floor and began to take on a human form. The form was so hazy I couldn't tell whether it was a male or female or?
Suddenly the whatever it was spoke, "Hello Ron. Thanks for letting me out of the box."
The voice somehow sounded familiar but I couldn't place it . . Wait a second how did it know my name?
Without my speaking a word the form answered my question, "Because I can read your mind."
"Who or what are you?" I asked with kind of a croak from that damn dust.
"I'm something like a genie," was the reply.
"Right! I bet I'm gonna get three wishes," I snarled.
The form (or genie, using his term) laughed and said, "Your good Ron, three wishes will be granted."
Having had quite enough of this I shouted, "Who are you? How did you get in the box? Who gave you the power to grant wishes? Why would I get three wishes?"
The genie raised what seemed to be an arm to stop me and answered, "In the order you asked; Later . . Later . . my boss, and three wishes because I was given the power to grant three wishes whenever I was freed from the box."
I looked at the genie for a second, when he again spoke, "No Ron you can't order me to answer all of your questions. Unlike the fairy tales you don't control me and besides the genie union wouldn't allow it."
Raising my eyebrow I queried, "What genie union?"
From his mouth came what sounded like a mirthful response, "You don't think I'm the only genie, do you? There are in fact six of us."
To my question, "Why six," he shrugged and replied, "You will know all later."
"What is my wife Gerry going to say when she walks in here and sees you?"
The genie smiled with with what I swore was a leer, "I've put a spell on her until our business is finished. Now about those three wishes, the sooner you start the sooner our business is concluded."
To the thought in my head that I was being had, the genie answered, "Ron, I assure you the three wishes will be granted, so start wishing already."
"Ok! Here goes," I said in a voice filled with doubt and suspicion.
"First I'm not going to ask for money like all of the fairy tales. I want to discover or invent something that will benefit all of mankind, not rape the planet or hurt any living thing. It will be cheap to make so everyone can use it. I want it to be patentable so I can make money off of it, at least for a little bit."
"Jesus, your not asking for much are you? Let me think on it while you make wishes two and three."
"For wish number two I've always wanted to play and sing beautiful music. My wish is that I can sing in perfect pitch and play any musical instrument I pick up and do it like a virtuoso."
"That's fair and so it shall be. Now for number three?" said the genie, with what I took to be a smile.
"This may be a silly one, but I want to be able to read, speak, write, and be understood in every language in the world including the various dialects. I also want to be able to do it as if I were a Dr. of Letters in each of the languages," I said with a sheepish shrug of my shoulders. "It is granted," said the genie.
With that last something very strange began to happen. The genie's form began to solidify and is short order I was looking at my doppelganger. Suddenly I began to feel very strange. Looking down I saw my body dissolving into a blue cloud.
"What the hell is going on?" I screamed in terror.
My doppelganger laughed hysterically as he told me, "Something I forgot to mention. When the three wishes are granted we swap places. The process is called transmogrification, and simply put I am you and you are, or soon will be me."
"Wait! I assume that all three of my wishes have to be granted before this can take effect. Whatever happened to wish number one?" I asked, looking for some sort of a reprieve.
"Oh, it's already being taken care of. In about two years I am going to be a very rich Ron," he said with a smirk.
"If I have all of your powers how can I be put into the box," I blurted out in a voice filled with triumph.
"You have all of my powers but one. That's the power granted me to put you in the box, which you won't receive until you're in the box and the lid is shut, cause that's the way it works," my doppelganger said with his final chortle of absolute and total victory.
As the blue cloud of Used To Be Ron suddenly found itself flying into the box in reverse order to the clouds original exit from the box it screamed out, "How long were you in the box?"
"Five hundred years," came the gleeful reply.
The lid began to close, filling the box with Used To Be Ron, and finally covering it with a total darkness. One thought kept running through Used To Be Ron's mind, "Please someone, open the box."
The New and Improved Ron walked over to the recliner, sat down, picked up the beer and took a grateful swig. In his mind among all of Ron's thoughts, memories, and knowledge was one thought that flashed off and off like a red neon sign, "Don't open the box."
As the N&I Ron set the empty can back down Gerry sashayed into the room. The way her hips swayed and her braless breasts bounced there was no doubt that she was a very horny woman on a mission.
The N&I Ron rose to meet her as she threw her arms around his neck and covered his lips with a blistering kiss.
As their lips touched she wrinkled her nose as a thought ran through her mind, "My God he smells like he's been crawling through the old steamer trunk up in the attic."
Giggling she grabbed his hand and began to drag a very willing N&I Ron with her. In the throaty voice of a woman who is sexually aroused she leeringly said, "Sailor I'm going to scrub your sorry ass, and then I'm going to jump your bones until you and your sexy body are reduced to a quivering whimpering wreck."
Comments are always welcome and appreciated.
sign me A Horny 'ol Sailor
Please Someone, Open the Box Pt. 2 by Ronnie Wachuka
One year later . . .
Gerry moved about the living room dusting and straightening things. Finally she moved to the fireplace mantle and moving things here and there removed the light layer of dust until she came to that strange box. Looking at it for a second she picked it up and moved over to her rocker.
Sitting down she placed the box in her lap, picked up her lemonade from the end table, and took a long sip. Carefully placing her glass back on the coaster she looked at the box for a long time. A turmoil of thoughts rumbled through her mind like clothes tumbling in the dryer.
She kept staring at the box but not really seeing it as the thoughts swirled. . .
The past year had been so wonderful it had been like her best ever dream and it all seemed to have started about the time she bought the box in a curio shop.
She remembered the elderly gentleman who owned the shop and his telling her about the curse on the box and that it must never be opened.
She remembered telling Ron about the curse, his laughingly promising her that he'd never open it, and the good times had begun to roll.
Money had started to flow in. Ron had explained that he'd invented a watch-a-ma-call-it, and even though the patent was still pending a big international company was making and selling it with the royalties flowing into hers and Ron's account.
Ron had even built an addition unto the house that he called their rumpus room. Really it was a combination library and music room. Most of the books were in foreign languages she couldn't begin to understand and she couldn't for the life of her think how he was able to. The worst part was the complaints of the mailman when he dropped off a huge pile of newspapers each morning. Ron would spend the afternoon reading them (he'd quit his job), drafting letters on his computer, and sending them off to some foreign country or other.
In the evening after the dishes had been put into the dishwasher they would retire to the rumpus room and he'd play music on several of the instruments. She especially loved the mandolin, but he was also a heck of a piano and organ player. She wished that she could join him in his musical endeavors but she'd found out as a child that she lacked the talent to play any musical instrument or even sing on key.
A smile appeared on her face as she thought about the concerts Ron gave every night. Towards the end his musical selections became very romantic and sensuous. He never failed to put her in the mood for a wild night of love making. Most of the music she'd never heard of but it never failed to get her motor running she thought with a blush.
My God . . and the love making. That man is insatiable she thought while her smile changed to a loving leer because he never ever failed to reduce her to a poor shell of a woman when their sexual escapades were done for the night and she cuddled up completely exhausted, satisfied, and totally in love with her man.
While the last lewd and lascivious thoughts played through her mind her hands had inadvertently been stroking the box. Suddenly the lid flew open and she found herself surrounded with a cloud of musty smelling dust. The dust invaded her throat and nose causing her to cough and sneeze. Startled she jumped up while pushing the box onto the end table.
A blue gossamer cloud began to swirl out of the box and lit on the floor in front of her. The sight so startled her she let out a shriek of surprise and terror.
The swirling dervish began to coalesce into a human form. Man? Woman? Or? She had no idea until she heard it speak in a low throaty voice.
"Hello Gerry, thanks for letting me out of the box."
Searching her mind it sounded like Lauren Bacall in her old 40's movies when she'd set out to seduce Humphrey Bogart.
"Who are you and how did you know my name," Gerry replied.
"I can read your mind," the blue cloud humanoid said.
Not being a dummy a thought flashed through her mind.
Reading her thoughts the form answered her before she could give voice to the thought, "Yes Ron opened the box."
Gerry all but shrieked out, "Ah ha, I knew there was a reason for all of the strange events this past year."
Before she could ask the next question the form said, "I'm kind of a genie and yes three wishes were granted."
"Why?" She queried.
"Because it is in my power to grant three wishes when the box is opened and I can get out."
Gerry thought for a second and started to ask, "Does that . ."
The genie gave a rumbling laugh and answered her unfinished question, "Yes three wishes will be granted."
"Can I start now?" Gerry asked with an eager voice.
The genie replied with a smile, "The sooner you make your three wishes the sooner our business is concluded."
"Good," she said and after a thoughtful pause stated; "For my first wish I want Ron and I to live to be a hundred, never age, and die together still totally in love with each other."
The genie held up a gossamer hand and spoke, "Sorry! No can do!"
"Why," Gerry demanded to know.
"Because My boss reserves the right to live or die unto himself."
"Then my wish is that Ron and I will not grow old, stay in love until we die, and that our deaths are peaceful and pain free,"
"Sorry," was all the genie said.
"Why not," Gerry again demanded to know. It's called the Law of Five," the genie answered.
"What in heaven's name is the Law of Five," Gerry asked in a befuddled tone.
"My boss reserves unto himself; What, Where, When, Why, and How!" The genie made his explanation with finality.
"Then . ."
The genie cut her off. "This I can grant, You and Ron will stay in Love and you'll stay young until you die."
Grudgingly Gerry said, "I guess that'll have to do."
"Wish number one is granted." The genie said with a smile.
"Can you grant the same wish twice?" Gerry asked in a hopeful tone.
"Depends, What do you have in mind?" The genie replied.
"I want to sing and play just like Ron does," she said in an anxious tone.
From the genie, "Wish number two is granted and what is the final wish?"
"Well . . . Ron and I aren't getting any younger and . . . "
Impatiently the genie demanded, "And what?"
"Ron and I want lots of babies." The last was said in a most exuberant tone.
She looked at the genie in befuddlement as it turned from it's lovely blue to a deathly shade of white not unlike a funeral shroud.
"Are you sure about this," the genie croaked in a quavering voice.
"Oh definitely, lots and lots of them," was Gerry's giggling enthusiastic reply.
From the genie came a most horrid roar of anger followed by, "God Dammit, Oh, Sorry boss."
With that the genie began to whirl and fade as it rushed back into the box.
As the lid closed Gerry heard it's final angry words, "Wish number three is granted. I'm not going to carry a bunch of babies around forever and go through all of that pain. I'm outta here."
When Ron came home that evening he was greeted by a very horny Gerry, who'd pulled out all the stops.
She greeted him at the door with a kiss and a pelvic grind that immediately aroused his interest.
Grabbing his hand she pulled him towards the rumpus room and leeringly told him, "Come on Sailor, we're going to make some beautiful music together, and then were going to go to bed. Once we're in bed I'm going to play you like a Stradivarius until you squeak for mercy!"
Comments are always welcome and appreciated
sign me A Horny 'ol Sailor