Pornoville Ch. 04

On the other hand there were some things I definitely didn't like about being in this place. I now had a shoulder length mullet. I'd woken up with it, fully grown, the second morning here. Granted it never needed combing, because it felt like someone had used two cases of Aqua Net to shellac it into place, but there was no denying I was the not so proud owner of a hair helmet. Then there was my mustache. Well the mustache I would have had if I didn't shave every four hours. The damn thing didn't even grow; it just appeared every four hours fully grown. It was a complete pain in the ass shaving three to four times a day, but I just couldn't handle looking at myself in the mirror with a mullet and a porn stache.

That stuff was annoying, but what drove me well and truly nuts was just how boring this place was. There were no printed words in any of the books and magazines, only pornographic pictures. The TV, as I already pointed out only showed porn. The radio? Well it did play music, but only that boom chica bow wow porn theme music, and have you ever tried listening to that for any period of time? Well, actually the time I had that three-way in the backseat of my muscle car with Tiffany and Domino it was kind of cool, but I couldn't listen to it in a non-humping situation.

It wasn't just the entertainment that sucked here, there were other things too. There was no such thing as a real conversation here. People would come up to me and repeat the same bits of tired dialog that served only to advance the thread bare plot of the movie, but any attempt on my part to talk about something else would usually be lead to me being called a jokester. If I didn't let the subject go I would get the same response regardless of the person I was talking to, or the situation, wanna fuck?

And then there was the food. Don't get me started on the food. Well take the pizza I was eating as a perfect example. Sure it looked like pizza, but the cheese wasn't creamy, the tomato sauce had zero acidity and he crust tasted like raw bland dough. This pizza would fill me up, but as for getting any sort of enjoyment from eating, that was completely out of the question.

The beer was the same deal as the pizza. It was barely carbonated and tasted a lot more like water then beer. Oh and getting drunk on it seemed to be completely out of the question. I had once not only drunk all the beer in the fridge, but all six bottles of cheap champagne and didn't so much as get even a little dizzy.

It was like whoever set this place up had decided that unless a sensation or experience was essential to cum shooting out the end of my cock, it wasn't needed.

So all that being considered, it's no surprise that I eventually became bored. Anyone with even average intelligence would have been bored stiff in two weeks given these condititions. Granted it had taken me four and a half months, but then I had never claimed to be average even back when I didn't need a pencil and paper to tell you what 144 divided by 3 was.

At that moment I really wanted to go home. Just to spend the some time with my crappy job, and some boring moronic television repeats. Of course that wasn't going to happen. Hell, I didn't know how I gotten to this place, so going home was out of the question.

I sighed and took a bite of the pizza. I guess I was just going to have to make the best of it. I turned the TV back on. A brunette with great tits and wearing glasses was going down on a thick prick. I felt my own dick twitch in my pants. Well, she was kind of cute. I took another sip of my beer and settled in for a night with the boob tube.

It happened the next day. I was at work and coming back from my 12:00 mustache shaving when I bumped into one of the secretaries in the hallway.

"Oh, sorry Rick," she almost whispered as she moved to step around me.

She was about two steps away when I realized what she had called me. "What did you say?" I asked.

She turned back. She was fairly pretty, sun streaked brown hair, kind of a button nose with some faint freckles, blue eyes, and a nice proportional figure.

"What?" She asked me. She had kind of a vacant glassy stare. To be honest, she looked dumb as a brick.

"What did you just say?" I asked again, fighting the urge to talk very slowly.

"Oh, I said sorry Rick."

There it was again, my name. For the first time in four and a half months somebody called me by my actual name.

"You just called me Rick?" It came out as a question.

The girl nodded her head and stared off into space like she was testing the limits of her memory.

"Last week you were walking by and Tawny said good morning Dick and you said my name is Rick, so when we bumped into each other just now I said sorry Rick." She smiled when she got the end of her answer. It was a cute smile.

I was stunned. She could remember something that happened last week. Nobody else around this place could remember what happened three days ago. She looked kind of familiar but I couldn't remember her name

I smiled and walked towards her. "Well you're right, my name is Rick. What's yours?"

Her smile got kind of strained. "What?"

"What's your name I asked?" It was strange because I'd seen her before but I hadn't had sex with her.

Her smile just dropped off her face. "Wanna fuck?" She asked.

I went with my trademark response of "uh" mainly because this made no sense. The only time women around here said wanna fuck is when they didn't know the answer to the question and the only way that could happen here is if this girl didn't have a name.

Suddenly I knew where I'd seen her before. She was one of the girls who sat on the sidelines of the lesbian lunchroom orgy. She didn't have a name because she was an extra.

"Uh not right now," I said stalling for time. She was nice and she was the only person in four and a half months that I had anything close to an actual conversation with.

"Hey, would it be ok if I call you Sally?" I asked. She kind of looked like a Sally.

The smile came back. "Ok."

"Dick!" I turned around. Tiffany was waiting by my office. "Could I speak with you right now?" Boy, did she look pissed.

"Umm, sure thing Tiffany," I said. I turned back to Sally. "I've got to go, see you soon, ok Sally?" I said feeling a goofy grin spread across my face.

Sally's smile was dazzling. "Ok Rick, bye."

I said bye, and couldn't stop smiling. Well, that is until I turned around and caught the world class stink eye Tiffany was giving me and Sally.

"What's up Tiffany?" I asked, very aware of the fact my goofy grin had left the building.

"Could we just talk about it in your office Dick? It's very important." Tiffany said starring past me, shooting Sally one of the bitchiest looks I'd ever seen in my life.

"Um, sure", I said walking into the office totally confused.

I had no idea why Tiffany would need to talk to me. I'd just finished rogering her rump maybe 20 minutes before.

Tiffany closed the door behind us and proceeded to give me my very first rim job. It was nice, but for the life of me I couldn't see why it was so important it couldn't wait until the next day.

I now had a new mission in life, to talk to Sally. Over the next couple of days I managed to say hi to her a couple of times and always got a happy "Hi Rick," and a dazzling smile in return, but that was about where our conversations came to a screaming halt.

Tiffany had begun watching me like a hawk. Any time I made so much as eye contact with Sally, Tiffany would swoop in and totally conversation block us. It always seemed to end with me being pulled away to the nearest office or supply closet for yet another bout of mind blowing sex with Tiffany.

It was almost like Tiffany was jealous of Sally, but that made zero sense to me. I'd fucked just about every woman in the office and Tiffany had never seemed to mind before. Hell, two weeks ago I had been fucking Miss Juana Bendmiova in the middle of the hallway and Tiffany had stepped over us without even blinking. It was like she had a specific problem with Sally.

It was a weird situation, but I didn't really care about why it was happening. I just needed to get Tiffany out of the picture for awhile so I could talk with Sally again. It wouldn't be easy, because this was a porn movie, so Tiffany didn't have an actual job to keep her busy, which meant to pull this off I'd have to be extra crafty.

Ok, as you may have judged by my long division skills at this point of the story "crafty" would have been a stretch on my part. So seeing as crafty was out of the question, I went with something reliable instead.

The next morning, instead of our usual office fuck fest, I grabbed Tiffany and Miss Juana Bendmiova, and hustled them into the ladies room. It had only taken minimal instruction from yours truly, to get some hot girl on girl action taking place on the white tile floor.

While every woman in this place had turned out to be bisexual, Tiffany was really, really, really bisexual. Hook Tiffany up with another girl, let her build up a little head of steam, and she wouldn't come up for air for hours at a time.

Tiffany had more then built up a little head of steam by this point. Juana's cheap rayon blouse had been yanked open and those big store bought tits of hers were hanging over her bra, and her mini-skirt had been yanked up over her waist. Tiffany had gotten Juana's panties off, and was lapping at her hard little clit like a kitten with a saucer of cream.

Yes, Tiffany looked well and truly occupied and fucking hot as well, what with her down on her hands and knees, her head buried in Juana's wet pussy and that sexy heart shaped ass up in the air. My cock was hard as a rock, and drooling precum down my pants' leg at an appalling rate. A little voice in my head started to say it might be a good idea for me to join the ladies down on the floor. I pictured myself getting Tiffany and Juana into a modified 69 position, and while Tiffany lashed Juana's clit, I would fuck Tiffany's heart shaped ass, and Juana could run her tongue over my pistoning scrotum.

It was very tempting, and without even thinking about it I found myself loosening my cheap vinyl belt, but then for some reason Sally popped into my head. I saw that pretty smile of hers. Then I heard Juana breath start to come in short little gasps as her first orgasm started to build to completion and my hands went back to my belt. Then I remembered Sally actually called me by my real name and always seemed interested in what I had to say. I refastened my belt and quietly limped out of the restroom.

"Hi Sally," I said as I walked up to her desk.

Sally looked up, totally confused as to why someone would be talking to her and then she saw me and that bright dazzling smile of hers lit up the room, while I felt that goofy grin I got whenever I was around her stretch across my face.

"Hi Rick!" Sally said brightly. "How is your day going?" She asked.

I thought about Yvette blowing me in the kitchen before I left for work and Tiffany and Juana still going at it in the ladies' room.

"Oh you know the usual." I said, suddenly feeling something pressed against my back.

I turned around to see what it was and found myself looking at very attractive and very small girl. The top of her dirty blonde pigtailed covered head barely came even with my shoulder, and that was with the high heeled black Mary Janes she was standing in. I glanced down and quickly realized what had been pressed against my back, the girl's ridiculously oversized for her body, 32DD tits.

Thanks to the white men's shirt she was wearing with the top three buttons undone, I was able to see more creamy cleavage then I would have ever thought possible to get on to the body of a woman who was maybe 4'11" on her tip toes. I could tell her strawberry sized nipples were fully bloomed because she seemed to have forgotten her bra that morning, and just for good measure she had tied her shirt off under her tits, so I could get a good look at that cute little belly button of hers. Given the extra sluttiness of the top she was wearing, the thigh high white stockings and the frilly white panties that were barely covered by the miniscule red and green checked miniskirt she was wearing didn't look so much as over the top, but as just part of the outfit.

She twirled her chewing gum around her finger as she batted her big hazel eyes up at me.

"Umm, yes?" I started, but couldn't remember her name for the life of me even though I was pretty sure we had screwed at least twice.

"Candi," she said helpfully, "like the kind you suck on."

"Ok Candi," I said, watching as she put her finger in her mouth and scraped her gum off her finger with her pretty pink tongue. I should have said something else, but that little tongue proceeded to peek out of her mouth and take a long slow tour of her lips. Lips which she had apparently found the time to shellac with what looked like at least 43 coats of cherry lip gloss.

I managed to tear my attention away from her mouth. "Is there something I can help you with Candi?" I asked.

"Yes Dick, I think there is." She said with a sly smile.

"My name is Rick," I said automatically.

Candi ran a single scarlet covered fingernail up the front of my pants, "but I like dick," she whined in a little baby girl voice.

I managed to snap myself out of the lust fueled trance I'd been in. "Can I help you with something, Candi?" I asked.

"Do you wanna fuck?" Candi asked with a teasing smile, like she already knew the answer to that question.

I told her not right now, which as you can guess was one of the biggest lies of my life. Candi turned to walk away, but not before mouthing the word "bitch" at Sally.

I looked around then and noticed every woman in the room was looking at Sally like she was a cold sore at an orgy. Sally being the adorable little dim bulb that she was didn't seem to notice a thing. I however got really uncomfortable and asked Sally if she'd come to my office and she of course she followed me right in.

I closed the door behind her and sat down in my chair thinking Sally would sit down in the chair in front of my desk and we could finally have that conversation I'd been almost dreaming about for the last week. I was more then a little surprised when Sally sat down in my lap and stuck her tongue down my throat.

I pushed Sally away, but couldn't help noticing her mouth tasted faintly of peppermint.

"What's wrong?" Sally asked with that mild level of confusion on her face that was there 80% of the time.

"Sally, what was that all about?"

"Well, aren't we going to fuck?" Sally asked. My face must have mirrored my confusion at this question. "Well you asked me to come in your office, and you always fuck every girl who comes in here." Sally said, explaining the reason for her question.

"You know that? How?" I asked without thinking.

"Uh huh," Sally said nodding her head. "You're kind of noisy when you cum."

I felt the blood rush to my cheeks for the first time in over three months. "Oh, you heard me, huh?"

"Oh yeah, all the time, you're always shouting stuff like 'fuck I'm gonna cum!' or 'get ready, here it cums!' or like last week when you were in here with Ms. Titswallow for three hours and you just went 'uh, uh, uh, Ooooohhh!'" Sally said ticking off examples.

"By the way Rick, why did you call Ms. Titswallow mommy?"

My blush started flooding down from my cheeks and didn't feel like it was going to stop until it got to my navel.

"I'm really sorry you heard that Sally."

Sally's confused look came back. "Why? It's what you do."

There it was my new life in a nutshell. "Yeah," I sighed feeling a hundred years old, "that's what I do."

Sally suddenly looked at me. She didn't look confused or dim; the look on her face was pensive and kind of concerned.

"Can I ask you something Rick?"

"Sure Sally, what?"

"Every time I talk to you, I can't help noticing that you don't seem very happy. Why is that?"

That was an awkward question. How do you explain to someone you're stuck in their movie?

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Well it's kind of complicated." I mumbled.

A brief look flashed across Sally's face. One I hadn't seen from a woman in about four and a half months, the "you really don't thing you're getting off that easy, do ya bub?" look.

"Well ok Rick, but seeing as we're not fucking why don't we talk about it?"

Crap, I was cornered. I looked at Sally and she looked back at me waiting for me to start. She had really pretty eyes.

"Well, it all started a few months ago when my DVD player jammed," I head myself say as I started my story.

"And that's when I realized I was in a porn movie," I said finishing my story. "I must sound nuts to you, huh Sally? I mean have you ever heard of anything crazier then someone being a character in a porn movie? That's impossible."

"It's improbable, but not necessarily impossible." Sally mumbled almost thinking out loud to herself.

"What did you say Sally? I asked.

"Well Rick, it all depends on your feelings about the Theory of Relative State Formulation, but what you described could be possible using that theory."

"The Theory of Relative State Formulation?" I asked.

"Sally nodded brightly, "yeah that's what they called it when it was first published in the 1950's. You know, The Many Worlds Theory."

"Sally what are you talking about?"

"Quantum mechanics," Sally said brightly.

"Quantum what?" I asked.

"Yeah Rick, you know, it's a theory to explain phenomena on the sub-atomic level that can't be explained by the Theory of Relativity or Newtonian physics."

"Oh right," I said even though having never taken a physics course I had no idea what Sally was talking about. "How does that go again?" I asked, faking it with yet another woman I was attracted to in my life.

Sally giggled, "Oh Rick, you know, in The Many Worlds Theory every possible result to every event exists in its own separate universe. So given that, it would be possible for there to be an actual universe that existed only as a movie in another universe in a parallel dimension.

"And would it be possible for me to travel between these universes? " I asked, not really wanting to get into the specifics of what Sally was talking about.

Sally thought about this for a second. I could tell this because she got the same look on her face that I used to get when I did long division in my head. "Umm, given certain conditions, sure," Sally said finally.

"What conditions?" I asked.

"Well you said this 'DVD' was a movie you were going to play on your TV, right?"

I nodded and started to say something but Sally kept talking, it had apparently been a rhetorical question; "so you'd need a TV and some sort of device that could play a recording. These would form a gate if they had the proper energy source."

"Um, energy source?" I asked again starting to realize that dim little Sally wasn't so dim.

"Uh huh, you'd need a massive amount of energy to open this gate, so you'd need a super dense element, probably something with an elemental number in the 192 to 196 range."

"Doesn't the highest element on the periodic table have a number like 114?" I was totally confused at this point.

Sally giggled. "Oh, good one Rick, everyone knows the periodic table isn't fixed. There is always room for new elements and the highest element on the chart right now has a number of 122."

"Um yeah, well I thought you'd think it was funny." I said smiling weakly. Now didn't seem like best time to mention my D in high school chemistry. "So, we don't know what this element is called?"

"Uh uh," Sally said shaking her head. I noticed Sally's hair was cute when she did that. "Probably the only things we could guess about it, is that it would have a luminent emerald quality, and due to its density it would be incredibly heavy for its perceived mass.