Potential

It was stupid, inane and I should have ignored it. I should have walked away knowing I was the better man but I just couldn't. There was this coldness that settled into my shoulders and the back of my neck, an icy stiffness that tightened my chest and this time I just couldn't let it go.

I stomped right past the first guy and swung at the one who called Ethan a faggot. My knuckles glanced off his chin and it hurt like hell. I'd never punched anyone before and though I knew it would hurt and thought I was prepared for it, I wasn't. While I clutched my aching right fist to my stomach in pain the two guys began shouting.

"What the hell, man? What the fuck?"

"Oh shit, Mike! He clocked you!"

Mike, the one I hit, got in my face. "What the hell was that for, you asshole?" He shoved me, hard in the shoulders, and I stumbled back. I could feel all the frustration, humiliation and self-loathing I'd locked away since leaving Forks high school and Bobby Patterson behind. I scrambled to my feet.

"Don't you ever fucking talk about Ethan!" I hissed at him, shoving him away from me. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the other guy hanging back. It seemed like he didn't want to get involved in the altercation. For that I was grateful, but in the moment I took to check his position I had let down my guard.

"Keep your hands off me, fucker!" Mike stepped up again and this time he jabbed me twice with his fist. The first hit cuffed me in the temple, whipping my head around to the right. The second hit landed in my gut. The air whooshed out of me with a grunt and I fell forward, catching myself roughly on my palms. A hand grabbed the collar of my shirt and I heard the fabric rip as Mike shook me. "And stay the fuck down this time, you crazy bastard!"

I was extremely lucky that neither of them were really much like Bobby Patterson after all. There's no way Bobby would have walked away while I was on the ground without at least a parting kick to the ribs.

~*~*~*~*~

I stayed down until they were gone and I was breathing normally again. Finally I dragged myself up to my feet and trudged back to Ethan's truck. He was there already, pacing, and I winced at the look on his face when he saw me. I must look as shitty as I feel.

"What the hell happened to you?" His voice was a blend of shock and concern.

"What's it look like? I got in a fight." I bit out, wiping blood off my face with my sleeve. The shirt was ruined anyway.

Ethan looked like he wanted to ask more questions but he closed his mouth instead and I was grateful. He tried to put an arm around me but I shrugged it off and he backed down.

"Alright, alright, just come into the lockers with me and I'll patch you up."

I followed him into the empty locker room and sat on the bench he pointed out to me. I watched out of the corner of my eye as Ethan gathered the first aid supplies he wanted. When he had them all, he straddled the bench mirroring me, touching our knees together. He started by washing the dirt and blood from the cut over my eye and the raw flesh on my knuckles and palms. My agitation from the fight ebbed gradually under his gentle touch but as it faded I felt the shame and humiliation hiding underneath.

"This shit's gonna sting," he warned me when he started to apply the ointment and I hissed in agreement. He taped the cut and bandaged the scrapes.

"Did you take any hits in the ribs or the gut?" I nodded, looking away. Then Ethan cleared his throat and reached for the buttons on my shirt.

"I can take off my own goddamn shirt, Ethan," I spat. I was an ass for taking out my self-loathing bullshit on him and I knew it. He brushed my fingers away gently and I looked at him then.

"I know you can. I want to do it," he said, and I tried to understand the look in his eye. He reached for the buttons again and this time I let him.

He peeled the shirt down my arms, careful of my cuts and scrapes. Ethan nudged my shoulder. He wanted me to lie back so he could check my torso and he balled up my shirt to place it under my head. His hands on my ribs were firm but so slow and gentle as he hovered over me. I cracked wide open in the wake of his tenderness.

"Shh, Mark, shh. I've got you. I've got you now." Ethan wiped saltwater out from under my eyes with the pads of his thumbs and pulled me gently upright again. He cradled me in his arms and I let my head sink onto his shoulder. He smelled like soap and sandalwood and cedar. I turned my face into Ethan's neck, breathing him in, and my arms tightened around his waist in a hug. I shuddered at the bittersweet feeling of having someone in my arms again. I didn't know if I deserved this man but I wanted him, I needed him, and I wanted to show him how much.

"Mark?" My name was a question on Ethan's lips and I needed to know if he was feeling this too. I traced his jaw with my nose as I pulled back to see his face.

"Ethan," I breathed. "Do you want this? Do you want… me?" My voice cracked at the end.

"I want you Mark, I do. But I can wait, baby. When you're feeling better…" he whispered.

I shook my head. "You make me feel better, Ethan. You make me feel better than I've felt in a long time." I pulled him into a kiss and felt him smile against my lips. We tasted each other with little nips and licks and dipping tongues. I tugged at Ethan's shirt, asking. He removed it in answer. Hands on my hips, he dragged me closer until our legs tangled together straddling the bench and our chests were pressed against each other tightly.

He nuzzled his smooth cheek across the stubble on my jaw. I raked my fingers through the black curls on his chest. They were silky and I snickered lowly when he rubbed his chest against mine. They tickled. Ethan laughed too and the tension of the last few hours evaporated as his laughter echoed within the empty locker room. For a little while the only sounds to be heard were the rustle of denim grinding against denim, soft grunts from Ethan and my own panting breath.

The friction was driving me crazy and I needed to touch him. One hand trailed down his chest to the waistband of his jeans. I dipped the tips of my fingers inside and whispered them back and forth across his belly. His muscles there quivered and jumped. I fingered the button on his pants and he moaned his permission. I sucked and licked his neck as I popped the button. My teeth teased his earlobe to the sound of his zipper opening click by click.

I pulled back from Ethan to disentangle our legs and catch my breath. He moved his lips to my jaw, neck, earlobe and I shivered. My fingers found his belt loops and I tugged upward, whispering, "Stand up for me, baby."

I ran my hands over his flexing thighs as he pushed to a stand before me. He laid one palm flat against the lockers to steady himself while I worked his jeans and briefs down over his erection. I pressed my face in the crook of his hip and wrapped my arms around his thighs, hugging him to me tightly and breathing in his musk. His free hand caressed the muscles in my neck.

I nuzzled his hip with open-mouthed kisses and playful nibbles, loving the sound of his groans and the feel of his cock twitching against my cheek. My fingers stroked up and down his body caressing his lower back, butt and thighs. I looked up at him and wet my lips thoroughly and then I ran my tongue around his tip, coating it with my spit. I wanted so badly to please him, to care for him, to thank him for the tenderness and acceptance he had shown me. One hand grasping his base now, I pursed my lips and pushed my mouth down onto him slowly until just the head popped in. I watched him watching me as my lips imitated for him what it would feel like to enter me elsewhere.

"Nng… mmph… OH!" His cries shot liquid heat straight to my cock.

My tongue twirled and pressed as I opened wide and took him deeper. I reveled in the flex and release of his muscled butt under my hand as I used it to direct the buck of his hips. Ethan's fingers curled around the back of my neck and I sensed that his body was coiling, tightening. The hand that I had wrapped around his base now moved to lay flat against the skin just next to his cock, fingers threaded loosely through the hair there and my thumb snaked under his sac to press up against the flesh underneath, timing it with his thrusts.

The pressure built as I laved him, loved him, gave over all my thoughts to pleasing him and drinking him in.

"Ah… ahhh… oh God…. Mark!" I clamped him to me with my forearm across the dip of his back and swallowed down around him until my nose was buried in his curls. His whole body was tensed against me as he shouted his release.

I backed off him slowly when he was finished, reflecting back to him the tenderness he had given me, and helped him drop softly to the bench. We leaned against each other, forehead to forehead. He stroked my face and I ran my hands behind his neck, scratching lightly, until he caught his breath.

Ethan grabbed me then and kissed me so deeply that I couldn't breathe. I panted for air when he broke the kiss and growled at me, "Take these off, Mark." He was yanking at my jeans. I stood to one side of the bench, toeing off my shoes & socks as he jerked open my button-down fly and peeled my jeans and boxers away from my body.

I let him guide me back to the bench, my shirt a pillow under my head again. I had one foot flat on the floor and the other flat on the bench, my knee bent. I was totally naked before him, open and vulnerable in more ways than one. I let it all go. I put myself completely in Ethan's hands.

He didn't disappoint.

Ethan hooked my bent knee over his shoulder and wrapped that arm around my thigh, rolling my hips up and pinning me to him, anchoring me in the here and now. I convulsed in pleasure when his tongue met my flesh. "Oh fuck!" He was burning me with the sweetest fire. His free hand stroked my cock while his mouth was licking, sucking and probing everywhere below.

I clutched my own hair just to hold onto something, anything. I ached to have him inside me but with no lube, no condoms, and none of the important conversations, I knew it couldn't happen now. Next time, dear god, please let there be a next time.

Ethan changed positions fluidly so that his hand and mouth traded places, my leg slipping lightly to the floor. I felt his fingertips stroking and teasing my entrance while open-mouthed kisses and hot breath ravaged my shaft. When he finally took me deep in his mouth I felt like I was being devoured. The lick of flames in my belly became a wildfire. He popped just the tip of his index finger inside me and I flew apart. He wiggled small circles there, swallowing and humming as I shuddered through my climax until my whole body went limp.

I felt him shift over me and lay his head gently on my chest. I brought my arms around his shoulders, holding him to me.

"I can hear your heart beating," he whispered and I ached at the sweetness in his voice.

I wondered if my heart sounded the same to him as it did to me, a thudding repeat of one word: Ethan. Ethan. Ethan.

~*~*~*~*~

We dressed quietly with soft touches, lingering kisses, lazy smiles and smoldering eyes.

In the truck on the ride home to Seattle I told Ethan everything. I spilled my guts about Bobby Patterson in high school and the fight in the parking lot tonight. I told him how Peter had broken my heart and about the fortune cookie and Anya's prediction. I confessed that I wanted to hate him before I met him. And I tried to explain how I felt today when I saw him vaulting through the air. The whole time Ethan held my hand on the console between us. Through it all he squeezed my fingers in reassurance, rubbed soothing circles on the back of my hand with his thumb, and nibbled my fingertips gleefully. By the time I was done, a bone-deep fatigue had settled over me. My eyelids were too heavy and my words had begun to slur.

Ethan turned on the radio so that it played softly in the cabin of the Chevy. "Just crash, Mark. You need some sleep."

I mumbled something in response that I meant to come out as, "I want to keep you company."

"Shh, Mark, you are." He kissed my palm, biting playfully at the heel of my hand. That mega-watt smile was back on his face as he spoke. "I've got you, baby. I've got you now."