Prayer

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my Lord denies me an orgasm, and I agonize.
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faceslap
faceslap
11 Followers

"I hope you enjoyed that orgasm, slave," my Lord says quietly, "You will not have another until next Sunday, over a week away."

"Why, my Lord?"I ask, my voice a tad too high, a little scared.

"Because you were such a slut last night. Because it pleases me. Because you will be in agony. All. Week. Long."

It isn't the first time we'd played this game. I'd once had 6 weeks of orgasm denial that turned into two months because I accidentally came with him on one occasion. That is the hardest part, for me. Not being able to follow him into orgasm when he comes is very difficult.

I was scared. This is always so hard. It is first uncomfortable—I think of sex every second. I am wet, swollen, and breathing a little faster than normal. After the first week, I usually relax into it. I avoid sex, except when he wants it. I do not masturbate.

This short time, a week, shouldn't be too hard, except for the fact that I have two brand-new lovers. I hadn't planned it, but I ended up unexpectedly swooning over a guy friend a few days earlier, and my normally tame dating life got crazier yet when a good female friend who had always said she was "straight" let me go down on her as her birthday present. When it rains it pours. I haven't been dating much because I am terribly attracted to my Lord. He is beautiful, powerful, intelligent and kind. I worship him, and he turns me on every time I think of him. However, this new guy happened by chance, and I'm more excited about him than I've been about any man since my Lord. He's sweet, energetic, communicative, and *really* good in bed. I've been lusting over the girl for about two years. I can't *believe* we just had sex. Anyway, I'm already miserably sex-focused today. I want to suck. To fuck. To come in waves with my Lord and my new lovers, one by one, or maybe all together, but in any case SOON. My pussy is wet. I want spankings. I want to be snuggled into one big pile of flesh with my beautiful people. I want to come. I'm not sure I won't come, just writing this, but writing is the *least* sexual thing I think I can manage to do right now. It's their fault. They were both at a party last night, one that my Lord and I went to together. They both had me on the edge of orgasm. I would leave one and go to the other, then check in with my Lord, then go back to the first. I want to come.

I was such a slut, though. My Lord does have a point. I don't think he actually minds that. I think he just wants to have control over me while I'm all excited about these new people.

Phew. Orgasm denial totally sucks. I grant that the end can be fun. By the time I'm released, I will have a week's worth of that kind of desire built up. When my Lord tells me I can come when he says "whore" or whatever trigger word he decides to use, I will be ready and I will come so hard for him. I am his. He controls me. That part will be wonderful. This part, however, totally sucks. The fearful edge I will have to walk between ignoring my body and coming hard when I'm not supposed to. The attempt I will have to make to explain to my two new lovers that really, next week is a better time for us to get together because otherwise I will have three weeks of denial, and I can't hold off coming with their new and exciting selves. The fact that everything--from commands to do the dishes, to insults, to eye gazing, to kisses, to spankings—everything will bring me close to the edge this week. This part sucks.

I'm already fantasizing about how he will end this session.

I'm terrified I will slip. If I slip, I have another two weeks added on to the total of my first week. I do not want to slip.

I'm already fantasizing about how he will end this session. I know he will allow me to come, eventually. He always has. He probably always will.

He will wait until I *can't* take it anymore. He will threaten me with more time, because he is a capricious lord, and if I do not handle that carefully, if I do not seem sweet and deserving enough of my own orgasms, he will give me more time. He will deny me for longer. I will have to be wary of the ending. Sometimes he stretches it out. I am already not allowed to come, when I'm with him, if I have not received permission. If I beg permission before he has told me I may, I will be in trouble. He may try to ruin my first orgasm after my week of denial by making me have it during a hard spanking session. It is very hard to enjoy an orgasm when he's slapping my inner thighs hard or biting me in painful places. He may try to make me do that, though, because he controls me, and he is capricious and creative and vicious, and he would enjoy my orgasm that way. He may also make me have that first orgasm somewhere I really do not want to have an orgasm. He may whisper in my ear in a line in a restaurant that I must come when he says "four". He might say "four" in public. I might not have any warning of it. And I will come when he says the magic word. I will come for my Lord, whenever he allows me to. Whenever he tells me to. And the coming will feel fantastic when it happens, though it will not feel quite as fantastic if it happens during a beating or in public. He may even let me have it while he's fucking me. Or while he's making me scrub the kitchen floor. Or, god, the possibilities are endless, here. It will be good.

I am so scared, though, that I will come before he tells me or allows me to. I will try very hard not to. That's why I'm writing this. I'm trying to imagine all the possible problems. I'm trying to remember how this waiting period works. I remember that he does not like it when I beg for an orgasm early. Or rather, he likes it, but he sees it as a sign that I'm enjoying denial too much, and that he should really deny me for longer so that I can keep enjoying it. I must not beg for an orgasm before he allows me to. I still want to cherish my new lovers, but my Lord is not cruel or entirely selfish. He likes them. He will let me go to them after this time is over.

I'm devoting myself to my Lord. To his desire. To his control. I worship him. Please let me do his will. Please give me the strength to yield to him. I am devoting myself to my Lord. I will not come until next Sunday.

faceslap
faceslap
11 Followers
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moxiesterramoxiesterraover 8 years ago

This story is a perfect description of how denial works for me and my Master!

girly_dewgirly_dewover 14 years ago
so full of feeling

This story is so full of feeling. It goes into the primnitive core of submissiveness, the special need that a submissive person feels to be a supplicant, to show devotion, to pray for worthiness. Oh, please write more of this. It is so beautiful.

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