- How To
- Prepare, Eat and Enjoy MREs Ch. 02
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How to Prepare, Eat and Enjoy MREs (Chapter 02)
Well, presuming you have read chapter one of How to Prepare, Eat and Enjoy MREs, you are ready to begin eating. Actually, if you are like me, you started eating the snacks and bread before your meal had time to fully heat, but either way you actually are in for a treat. Yes, once you pour your heated food pouches onto your plate or into your bowl and once you got over the less than haute presentation of the food, you take your spoon (provided in your MRE) and dig in.
Eating
The first thing you will notice is that, hey, this food is not all that bad, in fact, it can be actually quite tasty. With selections like beef ravioli, beef patty, beef stew, grilled chicken, cheese omelet, vegetarian cannelloni, and others, it will take some time before you get tired of any selection. These meals are designed for soldiers, so between the main course, side dishes, snacks, dessert and drink you should get enough to fill you up.
Okay, okay, perhaps the reason this food tastes so good is because you have been living off of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, canned tuna or chicken and a warmed over shoe would taste wonderful just now. You just have to remind yourself, that it's not just the food that is important, it's the company and here you are sharing a romantic meal beneath the moonlight (we won't mention that the moonlight is the only light you have). Yes the MRE has brought you and your lover together (get those kids to bed) and it is time to really enjoy your MRE.
Enjoyment
Here you are, simply bored out of your minds with no internet, no TV or radio and darkness setting in at 8 pm. You have hours to go before you fall asleep and are in dire need of something to do. Well, now it's time to look a bit harder at your MRE and see what kind of enjoyment you can find.
Of course you will want to explore the MRE with your lover, wife (husband), girlfriend (boyfriend) or both. To be sure and keep cool you will want to slip out of your clothes before going through the assortment of possibilities that came in your MRE.
First of all there is matches and while the MRE did not supply candles, perhaps you might find one nearby. Simply light up the candle and look upon your lover through the flickering candlelight and you'll rise (or moisten) to the occasion. Yes, a quick kiss or caress is appropriate at this time.
Ah, but before you get carried away, let's look back into the MRE. Remember those little Tabasco Bottles? Well, as long as you keep the spices clear of her sensitive moist spots you both could spice up the night. Imagine following a trail of spicy, wet droplets leading you up from her belly button, over her breasts and up to her nipples. Or you can travel up his thigh, over his balls and spiral around his shaft.
Once the Tabasco runs out (it is a tiny bottle) you might find the cheese spread pouch. Yeah, remember the cheese whiz? Well here you go, simply squeeze out a trail of cheese and follow it all over your partner's body. If you don't like cheese whiz, you can find the barbeque sauce packet, I mean what would be better than a barbequed breast or thigh on a moonlit night.
You might get lucky and find a bit of beef jerky in your MRE, that rough little play thing might be just the right texture to slide over the soft skin of her breast, or his inner thigh. If the jerky is too rough textured to tease your lover try the taste of it with a light basting of pre-cum for the ladies or a taste of her wetness for the gentleman. A quick slip of the finger should give you the juices you need to dab on your jerky.
One of the MREs had Reese's Pieces, which distributed over a naked body makes a wonderful trail for a tongue to follow and hey, if he mistakes another tiny nub for a piece and begins licking who will complain. Of course if delicately handled, all the wonderful MRE items can lead to a very satisfying and hopefully climatic evening. Who knows, even in the midst of the hurricane's destruction you might create a few earthquakes of your own. All that and when you finish you can chew the Chicklets gum in each MRE.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 13 years agowell, that was certainly not what I was expecting, not bad though. As a former member of the military with food allergies, I'll tell ya, i was expecting something more along the lines of how to mix together and match up different menu items to make them actually taste edible. I think your way is much better though.
Anonymousover 14 years agoWhen I saw the dates of these two entries, I figured it was somehow related to Hurricane Ike. Fortunately I had electricity back within 47 hours and had plenty of my own food to survive another 3-4 days with careful rationing, but the experience did cause me to go looking for alternatives for hot food and I found one: the Mountain Oven system designed to heat backpacking food (both available at REI). Similar scenario to the MRE system you describe for preparing the food, and the system has a shelf life of 4 or 5 years. I figure the Houston area will get hit with another hurricane before the shelf life expires, so I'm ready now for a hot meal after the next hurricane passes and cuts off the electricity for a while. Personally, I believe everyone in an area where natural disasters which cut off electricity are possible (hurricanes, earthquakes, blizzards, etc.) should invest in Mountain Ovens, MREs, or something similar for just in case.
