Public Nuisance?

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How a couple of cold beer's can lead to an erotic time
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The story I'm about to tell you is quite true. It happened just a few months ago and even now, I'm not sure whether all that I'm about to tell you really did happen – or whether I've actually dreamt up some of it since! But anyway, let me begin:

To be quite honest, I thought that public toilets had all but died out long ago.

Public conveniences they were often called and I remember that, as a young kid, you could always find a public toilet close to a busy shopping area or in a railway station or in any one of a number of other well-frequented places.

But as time went by and our way of life has changed, so too I guess has our perception of the need for public toilets and I suppose what with so many of them being used for illegal and immoral purposes down the years, so they have become more and more rare. A bit like BT public telephone call boxes that actually work I suppose

Anyway, this particular day that I'm going to tell you about, I was driving home from a round of golf with a couple of my mates, when the urge to pee suddenly came upon me.

Now I know that to many people the mere thought of drinking and driving is abhorrent, but to me its always seemed quite acceptable to have a couple of beers and still drive. I mean, its not like a couple of pints of weak lager is going to turn anyone into a raving-nutter, is it?

It was a cold day – in fact we'd nearly called off our game that morning due to a light early morning frost – and although I was now comfy and warm in my all but new air-conditioned car, Meat Loaf playing on the CD player and the side bet winnings from my victory in our earlier game safely in my pocket, I guess that second ice-cold lager of the afternoon was at that moment getting its revenge on me on my friend's behalf and pretty soon my bladder was screaming for urgent release! Ever tried to stop on a busy dual carriageway and take a leak – not easy, is it?

It was starting to rain quite sharply and the hissing sound of the tyres on the wet road coupled to the 'slap, slap, slap' of the windscreen wiper blades as they cleared the running water off the windscreen did nothing at all to aid my discomfort at needing to take a leak – and to take it very soon!

Thankfully I was fast approaching a traffic island and, glancing at the road signs, I noticed that there was a turn off from the coming roundabout for a nearby village with a quaint name – which sadly escapes me at the moment – and I thought that at the very worst, I could pull up in some quiet side road and take a pee behind my car.

Leaving the busy trunk road behind, I set off along a narrower road towards the village and my urgency to pee was curtailed slightly by my need to concentrate on the unfamiliar road ahead, which made the feeling of an imminent bladder explosion subside a little.

All at once, I was entering the outskirts of a small country village and as it was now all but dark, the main street down which I was driving was lit by old-style street lamps, which gave off quite a weak light when compared to the high-powered lamps we're now so used to. But to be honest, I wasn't really bothered about the street furniture or its effectiveness. I needed a pee – and soon – as my need to 'go' had suddenly returned with a vengeance!

I was just about to pull up and risk offending the locals, when I noticed a small, squat brick-built building with old style lamps hanging over a sign that declared 'Public Convenience' and with doors at each end, on which were emblazoned the words 'Ladies' and 'Gents'. Never had I been so glad to read anything in my life!

Inside the 'gents' section of this most welcome saviour of public decency, I quickly headed for the large, long urinal that ran along the back wall and, with an urgency born of desperation, I smartly unzipped by flies and dragged out my half-hard cock. Its funny how the desire to pee can sometimes give you a semi-stiffy isn't it – maybe its all that squeezing and rubbing to try to stop yourself peeing in your pants, that does it!

Anyway, I pointed my dick gratefully at the old, cracked porcelain, pulled my foreskin back out of the way and let what seemed like gallons of hot urine spurt out onto the old china surface. It seemed like I was never going to stop, but eventually the flow began to ease and after a few more seconds I'd got to the 'shake off the drips' stage and was just about to put my cock away, when the sudden urge to masturbate came over me.

Now some of you may be thinking 'what a pervert, what a weirdo', but have you never felt the urge yourself to do something a little 'naughty' in a semi-public place? If you haven't, well – you should try it sometime.

Well, I'm not a 'kid' by any stretch of the imagination - being nearer to fifty than forty - but masturbation has always been a good friend to me in the past (when female company has been in short-supply) and, as I was standing there all alone at that very moment - with a rapidly hardening tool and no prospect of a shag when I got home as I am, at the moment between lovers - I decided to indulge myself for a few minutes.

I glanced around the inside of the room and apart from the urinal against which I had so recently found one form of relief, I now searched for somewhere suitable in which to gain another!

My eyes took in an old, though sturdy looking door which was partly open and behind which I guessed I'd find the usual lime-scale stained pedestal used for 'number two's'. Its funny how we English are so prudish about calling things to do with sex and defecation by their proper names. I mean, what's wrong with calling a Penis, a Penis? But no, we choose to give it a whole host of 'aliases' – some quite convoluted in their origins – when 'Penis' is so much easier to both recall and say. But I digress……..

I ran my shaft-encircling left hand gently up and down my now almost fully erect 8 inches of meat (see, there we go again – I could easily have called it a penis couldn't I!) and got a real buzz from standing there, cock in hand, wanking the foreskin gently back and forth over its engorged knob. "Sod the cubicle" I thought "I'm gonna <i>really</i> take a chance on being discovered!" Well, that's how I thought at the time, but to be honest, my chances of getting caught in that remote village toilet were actually pretty slim. But as we shall soon see, not impossible!

A few minutes later, I was well into my 'stride'! Leaning back a little in full fantasy mode, my manhood was thrust proudly out in front of me, trousers and underpants around my lower thighs, my shirt uplifted my hand flashing up and down its length and my eyes closed to savour every moment of my impromptu illicit experience, when with a crash the outer door flew open, my eyes flew open a split-second later in shock and a gust of cold air heralded the stumbling entrance of a rain-soaked, dishevelled looking young woman wearing a brightly coloured waterproof cagoule type jacket.

For a few moments moment we both looked at one-another – she through what appeared to be somewhat bleary, bloodshot eyes, me through eyes that felt to me like saucers in their sockets – both of us unsure what to do next.

In those few seconds of shocked awareness, my eyes took in the image of this young, dark-haired woman.

I guessed she was in her early twenties. She had deep brown eyes – though somewhat blood shot as I have already said. Her hair was soaking wet and matted across her shoulders and streaked over her face in places. I was just lowering my gaze, as men automatically do, to view the rest of her charms before returning to look properly at her face, when whilst I was still desperately trying to try to cover up my still fully erect and pre-cum leaking cock - and at the same time trying to figure out a way of also covering my shame, she unsteadily lurched over to the urinal – the door crashing shut behind her - quickly sank down on to the tiled, urine spattered floor and proceeded to vomit violently into the open topped trough.

Some of my panic left me as I saw her there, heaving into the porcelain trench. I could see from her general demeanour and hear from her rapidly emptying stomach contents, that she had likely had more than a little too much to drink. I finally finished putting my now partly-deflated cock away and once I'd hidden its outline as best I could, I began to think of my next course of action……

The obvious thing to do it seemed to me, was to get the hell out of there asap and get into my car and drive away as fast as I could. Pissed as she was, the young woman would probably think she'd imagined it all anyway. And even if she realised it had actually happened, well, I doubted whether she would remember what I looked like – and <i>even</i> if she did, I lived miles away from that place and I guessed we'd never see each other again anyway!

So I stood there for a few moments – valuable escape moments they were, steadily ticking away – still trying to decide what to do when, without warning, she turned her head to face me and suddenly my list of available options plummeted like a plunging stock-exchange……….

'Shorry mate!' She slurred 'Fuck me, do I feel lousy!' She crouched there on the floor, swaying a little, her hands outstretched on the cold surface before her in order to steady herself then presently raised one hand to her face and wiped its back across her mouth in order to clear it of some of the mess that caked it and I suddenly found myself offering my nice, white linen handkerchief to help make the task easier for her.

When she was done, she looked at me once more through bleary eyes and said 'You looked like you was well away there mate, I'm really sorry - was you close to coming?' She coughed and snorted as she finished speaking, obviously there was still some trace of vomit in her mouth, throat and nose and she was doing her best to clear it in as dignified a manner as she could manage and at the same time get a grasp on the situation she now found herself in.

I was surprised by her calmness and her apparent concern for breaking in on me at such an intimate moment. But then I realised that she was right. She had invaded MY privacy, after all, we were in a gent's toilet!

I was just beginning to formulate an answer to her question, maybe word it so as to make her feel even worse about what she'd done, when her head suddenly whipped around toward the urinal's trough once again and she emptied the last remnants of God knows how much drink and what else into the slowly emptying and puke clogged channel. For what seemed like an age she crouched there, unpleasant, unfemale sounds, coming from her shaking body. I waited.

After a minute or two - and after she'd had time to gather her wits a bit I guessed – she faced me once more, focused a little more easily on my face this time and once more apologised for breaking in on me like she had.

With all my escape options now pretty well gone, I reached a hand down towards her 'Here' I said 'Let me give you a pull-up.' She grasped my large, warm hand in her small cold one and as she rose somewhat unsteadily to her feet, she said

'Thanks. For the handkerchief I mean -' She indicated the now sodden rag that lay on the floor at her feet 'and for the pull-up.' She paused, her eyes looking into mine and then after a second or two she continued 'Maybe I can return the favour?'

I looked at her, not sure if I'd heard her right and wondering what she could possibly mean, when suddenly she reached out a hand and placed its small palm over the trouser covered outline of my dwindling though still visible cock shaft. I jumped back a little in shock at this sudden turn of events and would have stepped back further had I not already been leaning against the doorframe of the vacant toilet stall.

A host of confused thoughts ran through my mind then. "Christ!" I thought "What the fuck is happening? Whats going to happen? Do I want anything to happen?" "Is it safe" "What if somebody comes?" (I actually didn't see the joke in that last thought at the time!)

I stood there – a bit like a frightened rabbit in the glare of a car's headlights I suppose you would say, when - meeting no physical resistance to her hand and seeming to understand my confusion and how I may be feeling – she suddenly reached out with her other hand, said in a sexy voice 'Don't worry – just relax!' and in a seemingly well practiced movement she had my zip down and my rapidly hardening cock out and in her hands before I knew what was happening!

I was just about to push her away, to try to bring some semblance of sanity to what seemed to me an insane turn of events, when after a couple of cock-arousing wanks, she closed her small mouth over the already throbbing knob of my cock and began to give me one of the best blow-jobs I've ever had in my life!

With what was happening now, I was glad of the toilet stall's presence behind me! I stood against it now, one hand holding my shirt out of the way - for once again my trousers and shorts were down again, at my ankles this time - the other resting on top of this young nympho's head as she sucked, licked and gently nibbled her way all over my now throbbing prick! (See, there's another weird name for 'penis' that we use!).

Backwards and forwards her head moved, now taking my cock deep into her mouth (into her throat it felt like!), now almost removing it fully from her wet cunt substitute (I could have said Vagina!) and running her experienced tongue around the sensitive ridge at its tip.

For several minutes we continued like this and although I was constantly aware that someone <i>may</i>

come into the toilet at any moment, my craving for a satisfying orgasm and the sound of rain hammering down on the building's slate roof help to ally most of my fear and then it was too late to care anyway!

My new 'friend' had been working hard to get me off for several minutes and now as I began to groan a bit and she felt my knob harden even more and my balls retract up towards my body - ready to assist my prostate in unleashing what I felt would be a torrent of white-hot come – she too began to moan and groan, deep in her throat. What a fucking turn on that was!

As I gasped to her by way of a warning 'I'm coming – oh God yeah, I'm coming!' She gave one more huge suck, wanked my steel-hard cock rapidly with one hand whilst caressing my nut-sack with the other and drew from me a series of long hard, pleasure and relief filled spurts which I guess must have almost flooded her mouth, because although she was swallowing my offering as best she could, half way through my orgasm, she pulled my spurting cock from her mouth and spluttered a little, before gamely easing it back inside and catching in her mouth the last few drops of my offering.

If I hadn't been slumped back against that old toilet-stall door, I swear, I would have collapsed!

To be continued…

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