Push Me Ch. 05

"You were married?" Moira asked, surprise written on her face in bold print.

"Yeah. We were together in college, and got married shortly after. It only lasted a few years, and that was years too long." I looked at Moira. "I'm sorry I didn't mention this sooner. It just never really came up, and it wasn't the best time in my life. For me, our marriage was just about not being alone, not being with her – not a good reason. I ended up mostly resenting her for not leaving me alone, and treating her badly for it. I'm not proud of it, and I wasn't a good husband, but I try to remember all the things I learned not to do." Moira reached over and took my hand, smiling lovingly at me. I squeezed her hand and smiled back, trying to bite back the pain, and the shame.

Shelly surprised me by taking my other hand. "Her loss," she said.

"No, it's not," I replied. "I couldn't be the partner she wanted. She's better off not being misled and mistreated by me. The best thing I did in that relationship was end it."

"My gain, then," Moira said. It was such a simple statement, but such an unfamiliar concept. I had never felt that I provided any kind of value to someone, not on a deep, personal level – useful maybe, when it came to fixing computers or moving heavy things, but not valuable. I swallowed hard, trying to hold back tears, suddenly terrified that I would disappoint Moira, that I would carelessly wound her, oblivious to it in my self-absorbed world. I knew I wanted to be with Moira, but what if that changed? Would I have the courage to tell her, or would I just drag her along, resenting her more and more, mangling her emotions, until, regardless of any love she had for me, she felt forced to leave?

"Is it?" I asked. I dropped my head and stared blankly at the table. I wanted to warn her to run away right now, before that changed. I knew that would be the death of me. Yet, I would willingly embrace that death to save her from the pain. No one deserved that. The darkness washed over me. I wanted to run, to flee back to my sanctuary, where the world was protected from me, where I couldn't hurt Shelly, or Moira, or anyone else. Who was I to lure these two wonderful young women into a place where my negligence could harm them, especially after everything they had given me? Shelly might be safe, but Moira....

"Craig, look at me," I heard Moira say. After a struggle, I managed to lift my head, barely able to meet her eyes. "I love you, and I know you love me. You made a mistake, but don't you think you've tortured yourself enough for it? You said you try to remember what you learned. What else can you do?"

"Protect you from me," I said flatly.

Moira gasped. "What are you saying?" she asked, horrified.

I barely managed to refrain from shouting, "I'm saying I'm terrified that I'll step on your heart and not even know it, or do it purposely instead of making hard decisions." I knew what I wanted to say, but I didn't know if I really believed it. "I'd rather be without you than hurt you." Nope, I didn't believe it, selfish ass that I was.

"Tough," Moira said simply. "I don't think you mean that, and I'd rather be hurt by you than be without you."

I was stunned. Someone wanting to be with me, I had gradually come to accept that was possible. I had never considered that a woman would knowingly embrace certain pain just to love me. I chided myself for not giving Moira enough credit. She recognized that all relationships contain pain. She accepted that what we had was worth the hurt it might bring. Feeling like no one else could match my potential for devastation, I had always accepted that, knowing that, no matter what, I was on the winning side of that trade.

In that moment, in her words, I found a difference between accepting being loved and feeling like I was worth loving. I leaped up, pulling Moira out of her chair and crushing her against me while burying my face in her hair. She squeezed me, and rubbed my back as I took deep, steadying breaths.

"Thank you," I whispered. She hugged me tighter.

"I love you," Moira said.

"I love you, too."

We separated and sat down. I couldn't stop smiling at Moira, nor could I let go of her hand. Shelly smiled at me and patted my other hand.

"You're a good guy," she said. "No one else has ever planned a whole weekend around my birthday like this, and we're not even dating. Don't sell yourself short. Maybe you made a mistake, but you shouldn't beat yourself up over it anymore. You don't deserve it." She paused to let her words sink in. "Now, enough of the sob-fest. I'm starving, and our waitress has already bailed out at the last second once."

I chuckled. "Thank you, Shelly."

Sure enough, our waitress appeared a moment later. We ordered a bevy of fried seafood and southern side dishes, stocking up on calories for a long walk in the potent South Carolina sun. When the bill arrived, I tipped the waitress well, since I was pretty sure I caused her an awkward moment or two, and we departed.

"So, where's the shopping?" Shelly asked as soon as our feet touched pavement. I laughed and shook my head.

"I admire your dedication," I said. "The boutiques and galleries aren't far from here. The local market is past that. If you'll come with me, all the spending opportunities you desire await." The three of us marched off down the street, and Moira gripped my hand, bathing me with a loving smile.

Shelly turned out to be an expert window shopper. Two hours later, she could have named every shop and gallery we passed, and given a throughout rundown of the merchandise for dozens of them. For the ones we actually entered, we spent less than a minute in all but three of them.

Standing outside the third prior to entering, which was a boutique clothing store, Shelly asked me what the plan was for dinner that night.

"There's a nice French place on John street," I told her. "Not super fancy, but dressy."

"Moira, what dresses of mine did you pack?" Before Moira could reply, Shelly went on. "You know what, never mind. I want something new for tonight." She turned to look at us. "We're celebrating, right!?" She marched into the building. I took the moment of quasi-privacy (we were still on a public street) to kiss Moira thoroughly before we followed.

When Moira and I caught up to Shelly, her eyes were glazed as she ran the material of a shimmering red dress between her fingers. Moira mimicked her, and gave an appreciative, "Ohh," at the texture.

"Can I try this on?" Shelly asked to the only other person in the shop.

"Of course. I think that will look fabulous on you," the woman confirmed.

Shelly turned to me. "You stay here. C'mon, Moira." She took Moira's hand and, like a yacht with a dinghy, they headed to the changing room. After a moment, the woman working struck up a conversation with me.

"Are you from around here?"

"No, Columbia, actually."

"Is this your first time here? Oh! I'm Laura," she said, extending her hand.

"Craig," I said, shaking it. "Not for me." I gestured toward the changing room with my head. "First time for them, though."

"What brings you here?"

"Shelly, the blonde. Her birthday is tomorrow."

"And you're letting her pick out a present," Laura supplied.

"Nope, that's already done. She's just a shopaholic." I tapped the inside of my left arm above my elbow with two fingers several times, and a musical laugh issued from Laura.

"And the other girl...?" I bristled at the term "girl". I might use it mentally as a collective description of Moira and Shelly, or any group of younger females, but I would never refer to either of them directly as a "girl". I was tempted to tell her Moira was my lover, since that term shocked some people with its lack of implied commitment, especially since the only other word I could think of was "girlfriend", but before I could put my mental thesaurus to the task, I started to wonder why I was getting the third degree.

"She's my girlfriend," I replied automatically. Stupid brain!

"She's very beautiful." Wow, Deja vu, undeniable as the statement was.

Shelly emerged from the dressing room at the point, strutting with a confident swagger. Moira was a few steps behind. I noticed her hair was a little disheveled, and her face was flushed. Before I could contemplate what had happened behind closed doors, my eyes were quickly drawn back to Shelly. The dress was blood-red, skin-tight, strapless, and almost obscenely short, stopping a few inches above mid-thigh. Moira came to me and took my hand, smiling at me through a mental haze. I noticed she was panting slightly. Laura was glued to Shelly, and I saw her lick her lips. So that's why I was being interrogated. Shelly walked to a large stand mirror in the corner and examined herself from several angles before noticing that all three of us were locked onto her.

"How do I look?" she asked, pinning me with a stare.

"Incroyable," I said. Sometimes, English just doesn't cut it. She smiled broadly.

"Super hot," Moira said, nodding absently.

At the same time, under her breath, I was almost certain I heard Laura say, "Delicious." Shelly gave her a smokey look, sauntering up to her. Her trademark hip sway exacerbated by her shoes and the fact that she was just about as naked as one could possibly be while still being loosely categorized as "fully clothed." She stopped only a few inches from Laura, who's labored breathing betrayed her.

"I'll take it," she said, reaching out and brushing a strand of curly brown hair back from Laura's shoulder. Laura shivered. Shelly placed her hand on the zipper on the side of the dress, and locked eyes with Laura. She pulled the zipper down a few inches, and then stopped. "Oh, I guess I shouldn't do this here, should I?" she asked Laura innocently, who was barely able to shake her head in response. Her ass hypnotized all three of us as she glided back to the changing room.

Laura shook herself back to sensibility. She blushed profusely and scurried away to the counter at the back of the store.

"She's such a tease," Moira said.

"You should know," I replied. Moira blushed and shivered.

When Shelly emerged with the dress in her hands, her shirt was ruched up, baring as much of her flat stomach as possible. She shamelessly flirted with Laura while paying for the dress, with a gold AmEx no less. She leaned down, placed her elbows on the counter and stuck out her ass, popping it side-to-side by shifting her hips. Laura dropped the credit card on the counter, picked it up, and dropped it again behind the counter. When she bent to retrieve it, Shelly hopped up onto the counter, crossed her knees, and pulled her skirt up to bare the entire length of her legs. When Laura stood up with her card, she froze, her mouth working soundlessly. She ripped her eyes away from Shelly, swiped her card, pressed a few buttons on the register with trembling fingers, and then returned it, making the mistake of turning her eyes back to Shelly, who was absently caressing her own thigh and smiling sweetly.

"I'll ... um ... I'll ... I'll just ... put this ... in a box," Laura said, unable to tear her gaze away from Shelly a second time. She patted the counter randomly, trying to find the dress. Shelly never wavered from her passive-aggressive torture of poor Laura. She reached down, gasped Laura's hand, and placed it on the dress, but not before brushing the backs of Laura's fingers against her bare thigh. Laura's eyes almost left their sockets. She picked up the dress, grabbed a shimmering gold box from under the counter, and then turned her back to us. She put the dress in the box, and took a deep, shuddering breath, her hands pressed flat on the back counter, before turning around. She picked up a pen and circled something on the receipt before holding it and the box out to Shelly.

"Thhhanks for shopping at The Gilded Drawer. Please come again." She blushed, the dual meaning of her words registering belatedly.

"Oh, I will," Shelly drawled. She took the box and receipt, caressing Laura's hand lightly before hopping off the counter and tucking the box under her arm. She didn't look back as she strode from the shop, her hips ticking. She kept her eyes forward for half a block as she headed back toward the main street. Whens he judged she had sufficient distance from the store, she stopped to look at the receipt, and Moira and I caught up with her.

Shelly waved the receipt triumphantly in our faces. "Thirty percent off, bitches!" she exclaimed proudly.

"Shameless," I replied. She grinned, and Moira shook her head, but she was grinning too. I noticed that Laura had circled the phone number to the store, and her name, which was printed underneath.

"Looks like you have an admirer. Not that we didn't already know that," I told Shelly.

"Hmm, maybe Lindsay has the right idea. I could use a sugar mama." We all broke down with laughter.

Shelly managed not to work anyone else into a frenzy at the local market – not deliberately, anyway. It was more empty than I remember ever seeing it before, but normally it was part farmer's market, and that time of year was winding down. I bought Shelly and Moira each a rose woven from stiff, flat grass, after watching the purveyor rapidly knit together the intricate design right in front of us, totally fascinated. Moira stuck hers in her hair, she had more than enough to support it, while Shelly slid hers down the front of her shirt, leaving just the petals poking out. Moira bought a delicate bracelet made of tiny silver sand dollars, and slipped it onto her wrist. I took her hand and kissed it, watching the silver flash in the sunlight.

The rest of the market held little that was interesting, and we were all starting to droop from the long walk in the intense sun. I checked the time on my phone.

"We have about three hours until dinner. Shall we adjourn to the hotel and rest up?"

"That sounds good to me. I'm exhausted," Moira said wearily.

"I think I stink," Shelly replied after sniffing her arm pit. I laughed.

"We'll catch the tourist shuttle back to the welcome center. My feet already hate me," I said. Twenty minutes later, we were back in my car and on the road.

"There are a couple of presents back at the hotel for you. I guess you can have them when we get there," I told Shelly.

"Ohh, presents! Wait, you didn't have to do that. This trip has already been such a great gift."

"Well, the presents were kind of the whole point of the trip," Moira said cryptically. Shelly furrowed her eyebrows.

"You'll see," I said. We took turns getting suspicious looks from Shelly for the rest of the drive.

Back at the hotel, I lead Moira and Shelly to the room. This was an older hotel, and, as such, the rooms were very typical in their layout and size, mostly just a large bedroom. The décor, however, was turn-of-the-century elegant. Shelly's eyes immediately went to the wrapped package on the bed, and then to me, wide and eager.

"Go ahead and open it," I said. She pounced, and paper shreds flew everywhere. She gasped as she lifted a knee-length, black satin robe from the box, covered with pink and white cherry blossoms. She clutched it to her chest and turned a glowing smile at me.

"It's beautiful," she whispered. She quickly placed it back in the box. "I'm dirty though. I'll try it on when I'm clean."

"I'm looking forward to it. Moira, do you want to give her your present?"

"Hmm. Yeah, I guess this is a good time." She walked slowly to Shelly, stopped when they were almost pressed together, and took Shelly's hands. "Shelly," she said, locking eyes with her. After a pregnant pause, she continued, "this is the only hotel room we have for this weekend."

Confusion ran across Shelly's face for a second as she tried to understand why that was a present. Then her eyes bulged with understanding. Moira cupped her face and kissed her softly. Shelly whimpered, overjoyed, as she threw her arms around Moira and pressed their bodies together. They kissed lovingly for a moment. I stood back to enjoy the sight.

When their lips separated, Shelly murmured, "Thank you. I've been so lonely." Her eyes brimmed with tears.

"I know, sweetie. I know," Moira replied, holding her tightly.

After a few moments, Shelly calmed down. "Can I have my ... other present now, too?" she asked Moira mischievously. Moira smiled, nodded, and propelled her toward me. I wrapped both arms around her under her tight little butt and picked her up. She leaned down and pressed a lusty kiss into my mouth. Our tongues wrestled for a moment. I felt her flinch and moan softly as Moira came up behind her and began to caress Shelly's back under her shirt. I put Shelly down, breaking the kiss, and Moira and I enveloped her in a hug. A few tears leaked from her eyes, but she was smiling contently.

"There's one condition," Moira said. "You can't actually ... unwrap ... anything else until tonight. I want it to be special, and to be able to take all the time we want."

"Awww. I guess that's OK. It will definitely be more fun that way," Shelly replied.

"Then let's get cleaned up and relax for a little while. I can't wait to see you in that robe," I told Shelly.

"Same here," Moira concurred.

"Well then, I'll take first shower, so I can model it for you two." She grinned at us as she immediately and unabashedly stripped, picked up the box with the robe, and headed into the bathroom. "Oh, wow. Umm, actually, do you guys mind if I take a bath?" she asked. Moira and I stuck our heads into the bathroom and saw what prompted that thought. A white, claw-foot bathtub was the centerpiece of the room, the feet gilded with gold.

"Go right ahead. We have plenty of time," Moira said. Shelly smiled and went to the taps for the tub. We backed out of the bathroom and closed the door. Shelly was already lost to dreamy thoughts of a long soak.

As soon as the door was closed, I threw Moira onto the bed, covered her with my body, and kissed her voraciously. Her warm, wet tongue danced with mine, but when I slid my hands up her smooth stomach under her shirt, she pulled away and protested. "I'm dirty and sweaty," she said, pushing my hands down.

"Don't care," was all I could manage as I placed sucking kisses on her neck.

"But..."

"Don't care," I reiterated, pressing myself against her and moving my hands back up her body, feeling her muscles ripple under her silken skin in response to my touch. She gasped, and her will to fight fled. "We're just taking the edge off so Shelly can be the star tonight," I told her.

"Whatever, don't care," she mumbled as my hands found her breasts beneath her lacy, baby blue bra. She cocked one leg to rub her thigh against my growing erection, and I moaned into her mouth.

"I like when you make noises like that," she told me. I reached up to caress her cheek, lost in her loving smile for a moment. I brought my lips back to hers, and she wrapped her arms around me.

"You guys better not be starting without me!" we heard from the bathroom.

"That woman has ears like a bat," I said, shaking my head in disbelief.

Moira giggled. "She's right though. I cut you off so this would be more intense for all of us," Moira said, pushing me back and sliding out from under me to sit on the edge of the bed.

I propped myself up on one arm and swept her hair to the side. "Yeah, yeah." I kissed her neck several times. Moira sighed and leaned back against me. I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her tightly, dropping us both back to the bed.

We slept for around an hour while Shelly soaked. We awoke to her strutting from the bathroom in her new robe, her tone thighs flashing with each step.

"How do I look?" she asked.

"You know that little devil on your shoulder that tells you to do things you probably shouldn't?" I asked.