Rachel's Exhibitionism NemesisbyRachel6©
Hi-I'm Rachel. This is my third story and I hope you enjoy it. In my second story I related several exploits from my exhibitionist life and in this third story I will continue these revelations and how eventually things spiralled out of control. This is a true story about my life and what it has been like being burdened with the urge of being an exhibitionist. It is intended to be an insight into the thoughts and actions of a real girl / woman who is a closet and sometimes not so closet exhibitionist. This is an unusual story on Literotica in that it will give you a rare insight into the mind of a real live mature woman exhibitionist.
No real woman will normally be willing to share these real life emotions, confessions and insights and I am only doing it because I enjoy it. In addition, it is a turn on to tell you exhibitionist and voyeur aficionados what it is REALLY like being a real life long exhibitionist. None of my friends or family (except my husband) knows these things about me but such is the bizarre nature of the internet that you, whom I have never met, will.
If I am honest I have always been an exhibitionist-I was born like it although of course I did not know that it was a recognised disorder with a name until I was grown up. What I do know is that it is a very strong compulsion that is very hard to overcome. I have always had a thing about enjoying taking my clothes off. I adore swimming in the nude in the sea although the opportunities for this are obviously very rare. I just love being naked in public although sadly due to all the obvious reasons I have not actually done it that many times. They say there is a stripper inside every woman-well there definitely is in this one.
I have always loved the feel of being naked and always loved running my hands over the cheeks of my bum and over my thighs and breasts. I love the feeling of cool air around my fanny when I take off my knickers and the greatest delight is jumping into a cold swimming pool or a warm Jacuzzi stark naked. I love the freedom of nakedness and the complete lack of restriction through not wearing clothes. At home I prefer to parade around naked or semi naked as often as possible. I have always wanted to take my clothes off in front of people and find it a real turn on.
I'm in my early forties and happily married to my husband, Andy and have two children. We live in the south west of England. I have shoulder length blond hair courtesy of regular trips to the hairdressers and am pretty in a girl next-door sort of way. People say I have a nice smile and that my eyes and face light up when I laugh which is as often as possible. I have always had to watch what I eat but have kept the weight off and remained slim and my 5'5" body looks nice in my short summer dresses and skirts.
I would like to begin with a highly significant event for me from my teenage years. It happened when I was 15 at a huge summer Guide / Scout camp down in Polzeath in Cornwall, and looking back it was the first time I really acted upon my exhibitionist urges. It was the week when I first gave free reign to my strange yearnings. About 20 of us guys and girls were hanging out one afternoon unsupervised in a farm barn. Some of the kids were smoking. I don't think we were supposed to be in there. There were some quite high beams and ropes up in the roof over a lot of straw bales on the ground. Some of us girls were doing some gymnastics up on the beams.
That day up there on the beams was a watershed for me .When my turn came I had not gone up there with any notion in my head of taking my clothes off. But suddenly while I was up there looking down at the assembled audience all watching me, my exhibitionist streak came to the surface and I felt this massive urge to take them off if I got the chance. Out of nowhere I felt this overwhelming obsessive urge that has since become so familiar.
Of course I could not just take them off; that would not be cool and make me look weird. I needed to make it look less random than that. I nudged the situation along a bit by saying that I could do a somersault on the beam but not with a skirt on. I just left that there hanging like I did not care either way. Sure enough after a few seconds, one of the guys took the bait and shouted, "Well take it off then, we don't mind. Go for it."
So I unzipped the side of my skirt and let it drop to the bales below. I had got to first base. The justification was perfectly credible; I had only taken it off so I could do some more gymnastics. Nobody looked too shocked. So I was dressed in just normal teenage girl white panties and a dark blue T shirt. I duly executed a couple of impressive rollovers, and then laughed with relief.
I got a lot of wolf whistles from the guys below.
One of the guys shouted, "Wow that was pretty hot!"
I so wanted them to want more from me; to say something that would give me some feeble legitimacy, some vague excuse, to go further.
I got it in the form of one of them saying, "Well that was impressive. Very sexy actually. I bet you wouldn't do it without your T shirt?"
He immediately got lots of support from the other guys.
I said what is mandatory in such a situation, "That is a very rude suggestion. I am up here innocently trying to show you some gymnastics. I am not up here to do a striptease for you jerks."
To that they all started shouting stuff like, "Yeh a striptease. What a great idea. Go on. Show us your boobies. Please."
One of them then made a stupid joke shouting , "Promise we won't look!"
The girls, some of whom were my friends from school who I had gone with, then joined in. They knew that I was a bit free and easy in this department and a bit odd but had never done anything quite as extreme and in front of guys before. They had however seen me many times in the school changing rooms apparently flaunting myself and wandering around unnecessarily stark naked when they were all changing modestly beneath towels. They sensed I might be up for literally making an exhibition of myself.
I felt that all pervading sense of excitement at the prospect. I knew then that I just had to do it. I wanted to do it like I had never wanted anything before. Only another exhibitionist can understand what this feels like and I was feeling it for real for the first time.
I smiled from ear to ear and said, "Well what a bunch of pervs you all are. I suppose if I have to........" I felt this had sort of put the responsibility onto them. It was their idea-not mine!
I knew I was going to enjoy this like nothing before. I positioned myself so that my lower legs were hanging over a rope that was slung across the roof just below the beams. I was now hanging upside down on the rope above them and my T shirt was falling down around my neck and exposing my bra already. God I felt hot and sexy. I did not have to wait any longer for the chants of, "Off! Off! Off!" to begin. The girls were chanting too. Everyone looked like they were going to enjoy this as much as I was.
My arms were free so I could easily pull my T shirt down over my head and let it fall to the bales below; there was rapturous applause. God this was feeling as good as I knew it wood.
The chants of, "Off!" became even more enthusiastic, There was no way I could stop now even if I had wanted to.
I started to reach behind my back and fiddle with the clasp of my bra. When it came apart it fell away easily ,with me in this position hanging upside down, and seemed to descend like a parachute in slow motion. Even I thought my small pert boobies looked great. My nipples were both hard like acorns.
I soaked up the noises of approval from below, and swung topless backwards and forwards upside down on the rope.
This was going to be a first for me big time.
I inserted my thumbs into the waist of my panties. I started to very very slowly work them down while swinging from side to side upside down on the rope. It was absolutely delicious. It was actually quite difficult to pull them down in that position but with some determination I had them gathered up just below my bum around my upper thighs. They all loved it. I was the absolute centre of attention. I then had to sort of lift one thigh away from the rope at a time to get my panties past the rope and over my knees. And then they were down to my ankles and off. I let them float down to the crowd below and one of the guys caught them. They all cheered me and showed their appreciation.
I remember at the finish hanging there above them all stark naked, thin and pale skinned with them all cheering. It was just so wanton and marvellous. At the end I asked them to make a space in the bales and dropped down from the beam into the middle of them and rolled around in the hay laughing with my legs flailing. Nothing else happened but you can imagine I was very popular amongst the boys who were present and the girls thought it was a right laugh as well .I had just felt so compelled to do that strip and enjoyed it so much but part of me was worried by the power of my feelings and where it might lead in the future. I asked who was going to go next but nobody else did and I thought then why do I enjoy showing myself off so much when other girls apparently do not?
Predictably the immature boys gathered up my clothes and ran off with them. So I had to chase them around pretending to protest pleading for them to return them. But really that was absolutely fine with me. It gave me an excuse to prolong my fun exposing everything to them. Christ I never wanted to get dressed ever again! I had been shocked by how much I had enjoyed it and how exciting I had found it. I had had a taste of honey.
Anyway this was a very significant week for me because just a few days later at the same camp on the last night ,spurred on by my antics in the barn, something else happened. We had smuggled some lagers into our tent. The tents were not mixed of course so there were only girls / guides in our tent; probably about eight I remember. Anyway after lights out we were drinking all this lager and it did not take much to get us pissed at that age as you can imagine. Before long in the intoxicating atmosphere lit just by small torches we inevitably got onto discussing sex and who had done what. None of us had had full sex, it turned out, but about half of us had engaged in heavy petting.
Anyway talking about this just got me so aroused and we were not wearing much anyway that it seemed so natural for me to strip off the pyjamas that I was wearing and curl up into a ball naked with my soft sleeping bag around my shoulders. After what I had done in the barn nobody particularly thought this too surprising or random at this stage and it was fairly dark anyway. One of the girls however did notice and shouted something like , " Oh Christ! Rachel's got her titties out again!"
Anyway, the talk became more explicit as it does when you have the camaraderie of being away together in unfamiliar surroundings and of course bonded by being inebriated. Inevitably it got onto who masturbated and whether they came. Well I was an expert in bringing myself off by that age and I could not wait to show them. That just seemed liked the greatest opportunity that had ever come my way and I just asked them straight whether they wanted to see me come. You can tell I was getting bolder and more brazen with my sexuality. Of course they did so, cool as you like, I spread my legs and lifted my knees up and went to work frigging myself like my life depended on it.
I would have loved it if one of them had come and cuddled me or stroked my breasts to make me feel even slightly less exposed and the centre of attention but they just sat there mesmerized and open mouthed. I started rolling and thrashing around as those sublime electric sensations started to build in my pussy and then thankfully one of the other girls whipped her top off over her head and shuffled over on her bottom to join me.
I remember her to this day; her name was Ruth and she was skinny and fair like me but had the most gorgeous red hair. She immediately put her arms around my neck and we cuddled a bit rubbing our tiny pert breasts together. We then had a pretend snog or two and put on a bit of a show for the other girls in the tent who were loving it and cheering us on. I lay down on my soft sleeping bag and Ruth sort of lay across me kissing me and exploring my mouth with her tongue. We were only pretending really to entertain the others.
But I was absolutely not pretending bringing myself off. I wanted to cum in front of them so much; it just seemed the most overt public sexual display of my life and I could not believe how exciting I was finding it. My legs were as far apart as I could get them and I was rubbing my swollen clitty like a mad thing and I have to tell you that I just found this so fucking arousing displaying myself like this that I came like a goodun and made a lot of noise. I was repeating uncontrollably, " Oh! Oh! Oh!" When I cum it has always been something to behold and I am the same today. I seem to lift my bottom up into the air, my legs clamp together and I convulse wildly for about twenty seconds!
We were all laughing about it when the zip of our tent went up and one of the guide leaders shone her light in to see what all the noise was about. Thankfully I was able to quickly get under my sleeping bag and she had no reason to guess or would not remotely have imagined what had been going on and just asked us nicely to settle down But the memory of doing that in front of those girls has stayed with me for life and I think about it almost everyday.
I have always felt driven and compelled to strip off even in places where there would be no one to see me. Sometimes when I go out running in the countryside I get an overwhelming urge to find a remote location like a farmer's field and I will go through the gate, look around, and then strip off everything. I am so obsessive that I cannot even leave my trainers and socks on. I cannot explain why, but I do always love the feel of the air on my skin, and it is always a delight to lie down in the grass and spread out and just be at one with the universe. Unbelievably I even do this sometimes when I am walking the dog. It is a good job our dog cannot talk!
Actually once, I did get caught but it did not turn out too badly-just a bit embarrassing. I was about thirty five at the time. I used to go past this remote farm barn and had been going into it for some time and never seen anyone before. On this occasion, I went into it with my dog and immediately went into my routine of getting naked. The dog was used to a hold up at this point and did not look surprised or thought anything was unusual! He was used to me cavorting in the buff in the straw and bales.
However, on this occasion I was surprised to see another dog arrive no doubt attracted by my dog. They did not start attacking each other as dogs can do; instead, they just started barking and running around together excited. The next thing is an elderly man comes in looking for his dog , shouting the dog's name and can you imagine his face when he sees me stark naked rolling around in the bales. I could not cover myself except with my hands because my clothes were in a pile about 20 yards away. Such is my obsessive behaviour that it is not enough to merely take my clothes of on such occasions; I have to be physically separated from them otherwise it would be cheating! I quickly sat up on the bales, pulled my knees up close together and crossed my arms , with my hands covering my breasts.
I looked at him in shock but he looked as embarrassed as I was and said, "Sorry my girl to disturb you. I did not realise anyone was in here."
I replied, "No, it is not your fault. I am sorry to surprise you like this. It's just a silly game of mine. I have no excuse. I know I shouldn't. I don't know why I do really. Please don't tell anyone."
He assured me that he wouldn't but he did walk right over next to where I was sitting and said, "Look it is none of my business but you should be more careful playing around like this. You have nothing to fear from me but you do not know who else you could meet. Are you sure you are feeling alright?" I think he thought I must be an escaped mad woman or having a breakdown.
I replied, "I'm fine. Really I am. I know it is strange but I just so enjoy being naked in the open air."
"Well, don't mind me. I have enjoyed seeing your beautiful body and you have made an old man very happy. If you don't mind I will always come this way from now onwards to see if you are here again."
I was feeling a bit more relaxed by now and laughed , "Well you never know your luck!" With that, I grabbed my clothes and got dressed as quickly as possible and while I was dressing, he caught his dog and led him away by the lead. I never did undress there again but I do smile whenever I pass that way again.
I do all the usual tricks of an exhibitionist like turning the lights on in my bedroom for a few seconds and undressing before pulling the curtains. I have done this often enough that I figure the neighbours who live opposite will know to watch out for when my light first goes on in our bedroom. They would know they were in for a treat because I undress first pretending to be oblivious that I can be seen perfectly from the outside. Only when I am completely naked do I walk over to the window, pretend to innocently look out, giving a full frontal display before pulling the curtains.
Other times I prefer to keep the lights on but stand in front of the window in my underwear brushing my hair. Alternatively, I will stand at the window with the curtains open in the moonlight and street light and touch myself and caress my breasts and imagine people secretly watching me. As the result of my nocturnal exhibitions the men across the road always love to stop me in the street and chat. They have a gleam in their eye believing that they have a secret that they had seen me naked and I do not know.
Another one of my tricks is in hotel rooms when the boy comes to clean and I am lying out on the sun bed on the balcony and I pretend to be asleep but am naked under a dressing gown. I then adjust it to expose my goodies a little such as most of one breast or acres of one leg and thigh so it still looks convincingly accidental. I think most exhibitionists do that one.
Christ I have even taken all my clothes off in the toilet on an aeroplane. Not many people can say they have done that. I did warn you I am weird! It was on an Easyjet flight to Turkey actually and my husband and children were also on the plane. I cannot explain why I felt so drawn to do this because clearly no one is even going to see you do it in there. But it was something I felt I had to do once. For no explicable reason I seem to get obsessed with these challenges. I would love to hear from someone else who experiences this. I chose a plane where there was more than one loo at the back of the plane so that the people queuing would not notice that I had been a long time in there, When I was completely starkers I sat on the loo and tried to bring myself off but there was nothing doing, The circumstances were not the slightest bit erotic and even I was too nervous about one of the cabin crew opening the door,
This brings me to what happened to me one crazy night on a sailing holiday in the Greek Ionian islands when my exhibitionism got me into a lot of trouble. At the time when this happened we had been married for about twenty years and up to this point I had never had sex with anyone else since I had got married. In fact despite all my exhibitionism I had only had sex with two men in my life before this night and one of them was my husband!
We still loved each other but inevitably time has taken the edge off the sex and it had become less frequent, unexciting and routine. For example it had been a very long time since we had any oral either way around and in truth I had become less interested and most of the time was going through the motions to keep Andy happy. Andy often says that long term married women are more worried about the prospect of their husbands having sex with someone else than they are about whether they ever have sex with their husbands themselves. There is probably some truth in this. And being a working mother of two I never get enough me time and always seem to come last in the queue, and when this happened I can remember feeling that the time had come for me to have some fun for a change.