Radio Days Pt. 04

At that point, I was about to say something when Ernie spoke up.

"Oz, this organization is a silent army," he began. That got my attention. "It's about change and the slow, steady progression toward making things better. There are no quick fixes for what's wrong with this country; not to mention most of the industrialized world. It's going to take an army of people, one step at a time, pushing for change and being willing to accept small, incremental improvements instead of quantum leaps. It's the only way it will work," he concluded.

I nodded, and smiled a bit at my "partner." I was beginning to get a different picture. This was part of my new world. It was an organization within an organization. Not subversive, and certainly not high-profile. Clever, but a bit complicated in my opinion.

Elijah Mellor cleared his throat and spoke.

"Mr. Hanswatter, we asked you here tonight because we would like you to run for office as an independent. The office we have in mind is County Commissioner. It is a stepping stone to bigger things in the future, if that's what you want. But for the time being, it's an important first step in moving ahead our agenda for change."

My head was spinning again. They didn't just want me to join their little group. They wanted me to run for office. They must be nuts!

"What makes you think I could get elected?" I asked pointedly.

"Like most parties, we've done some fairly sophisticated polling. The people of this county are pretty much split 51-49, you pick which party. There is no solid majority available to either of them. More importantly, our polling shows that the likeability factor of either candidate is in the basement. In other words, our fellow citizens are holding their noses and voting for people they personally dislike. That accounts for the low turn-out. Something I think the incumbent almost counts on.

"We believe, and our polling supports this, that a strong, likeable, honest candidate could not only win, but could possibly achieve a majority over both the old-line parties. The time is right and, in our opinion, the best candidate for that position is you."

I sat there stunned. At some point, I realized my mouth was open and I snapped it shut. I couldn't think of a thing to say. Well, almost nothing.

"I hope you don't expect an answer tonight," I croaked.

"No ... of course not. I'm sure you will want to discuss this with you fiancée and perhaps some close friends," Mellor said, looking directly at Ernie. I was sure I saw Ernie nod slightly.

"I guess you realize I had no idea that this is what you wanted to talk to me about," I suggested.

"Of course. Sheriff Carbutt and Mr. Gent made it clear that you have been experiencing quite a few dramatic changes in your life lately," he smiled. "Take all the time you need. The election is over a year away. Plenty of time to prepare." He seemed pretty sure of himself, I thought. Another thought popped into my head.

"What about fund-raising. I can't afford to campaign on my own," I said.

"That's the one thing you won't have to worry about. You will be sponsored by DMH. Win or lose, you will be at no financial risk and there will be no one you will be indebted to," Mellor said evenly.

"What makes you think I'm the right guy? The guy the public will relate to," I asked.

"We've talked to the people in this county. We've asked about you among a lot of your fellow citizens. We keep coming up with the same answer. The people who know you or who know about you, trust and like you. Considering the negative connotation of your job description, that is a remarkable achievement."

"Nobody likes a tax man, or the guy that tells the tax man how much to collect," I smirked.

"No ... quite right. But ... you seem to have preserved your reputation quite well considering the circumstances," Mellor said with a smile. "Even so, you still represent the kind of person we want in our League."

"I'm flattered ... really. I'm also having trouble grasping this. It is a complete surprise and I need some time to digest it and consider my answer. Who should I talk to when I reach my decision?"

"Mr. Gent or Sheriff Carbutt. Either one or both." He reached in his pocket and withdrew a business card. "I can be reached at either of these numbers. Please feel free to call me if you have any questions or doubts," he said in that mellow, cultured voice.

"Thank you. Is that it?" I asked.

Sheriff Carbutt laughed. "Yeah ... that's it. Help yourself to a beer if you'd like. Plenty of time to chew the fat if you want."

"No ... no thanks. I think I have quite enough to think about right now."

I turned to Ernie. "We need to talk," I said and began to move toward the door. Ernie followed me out.

As we walked through the lobby toward the entrance I turned to Ernie.

"Is this all part of the deal?"

"Yeah ... it's all part of what Snipe talked about. You can't do everything yourself, Oz. You need help from the right people. These people are the right people. You can trust them."

We stepped out into the cool evening air. I took a deep breath and turned again to Ernie.

"Ernie, I'm on overload. With Tish and the wedding and the army, I don't know whether I'm afoot or horseback," I admitted.

Ernie smiled and chuckled. "Can't say I blame you. It's a lot to absorb all at one time. Don't sweat it, Oz. If you decide to run, I'll be your campaign manager and Felix Bindle will supply the funds to run a modest, but successful campaign. I've already got a line-up of volunteers to help with the posters and brochures and the usual stump meetings."

"You've got this all figured out, haven't you," I said with a rueful look. "I'm really not going to get a chance to say no, am I."

"Not if I can help it," he laughed.

"And I thought you were my friend," I groused.

"Oz, I don't have a doubt in my mind that you are the right guy for this job. I like you and more importantly, I trust you. You will do the right thing, whatever that is. I won't put any pressure on you other than to tell you that you'd be a big disappointment if you didn't go for this opportunity," he smiled.

"Yeah ... no pressure huh! Right! Thanks, partner," I moaned.

We walked out toward the parking lot, not saying anything at that point. When we got to Ernie's car we stopped and I looked at him.

"If I'm going to run for office, there's something you should know. Something that might jump up and bite us," I said seriously.

Ernie looked at me carefully, concerned.

I told him what Tish had told me about the party at college and leaving out the explicit parts, let him know that someone with an ulterior motive might bring that to the surface during a campaign. Our opposition didn't think twice about slinging mud and this was mud of the thickest and darkest variety.

Ernie listened, nodded, understanding my concern. "Leave it with me," he said. "I'll let you know if I think there's a potential problem." And that was all he said.

We stood there by his car silently for a few moments before I turned to him.

"Is this really the right thing for me?" I asked again.

"Yeah, Oz. It really is. Maybe Tish won't think so, but we won't know that until you talk to her about it. My bet is she'll support you because it's something you believe in. If you don't ... then ... you shouldn't do it."

I nodded my head. That's what it all boiled down to. Did I believe in it and did I think I could make a difference. One small step at a time, I remembered. Was this my first one small step?"

"Good night, Ernie. I'll call you after I've talked to Tish."

He gave me the thumbs up and slipped into his car. I walked a few paces to mine and prepared to drive home. In fact, I didn't move for several minutes. I was going over the meeting and what the sheriff and Elijah Mellor and Ernie had said. Mellor was their senior in the organization, that much was certain. The sheriff was a member too, which really surprised me. I don't know exactly why.

Ernie, of course, was my 'partner' and so it was no surprise when I realized this group fit the plans of our alien visitors. I just hoped I wasn't about to make a huge mistake. At last, I started the car and drove home.

It was just after nine that evening when I arrived home and I was surprised to see Tish sitting on my front steps, obviously waiting for me. I had told her about the meeting, but I didn't know what it was about, so she was just as much in the dark as I was when I walked into the clubhouse. Or so I thought.

"Hi ... what's a pretty girl like you do hanging out in a neighborhood like this?"

"You never know. I might meet an interesting guy. Your neighbor, for instance," she said, indicating the house across the street.

"Ah ... Mr. Studley," I said with a note of distain.

"He's very charming," she teased.

"He's very smarmy," I shot back. "You should be careful of your virtue around him," I warned.

"What if I don't have any virtue?"

I was stuck for an answer. I wasn't at my best with the happy little shots we liked to fire at each other. The meeting had occupied my mind and I wasn't ready for the quick wit of my lovely woman.

"You've been warned," I finally managed. I'm sure it didn't sound very funny to Tish and I knew it as soon as I said it. I held out my hands to her and she took them as I helped her up. A nice long kiss soon soothed the situation. Take that, Mr. Studley. She's mine.

Tish took up her usual place in the living room and I poured her a white wine while I opened an ale for myself. I plunked myself down beside her and breathed a sigh of ... relief? I turned to Tish and she was watching me carefully. She brought her hand up and her fingers delicately stroked my temple and cheek. It felt good. Very good.

"Are you going to tell me about the meeting?" she finally asked.

"I dunno. I'm not sure I'm ready to," I admitted.

"Why. Just because a few guys ask you to run for office?"

My head whipped around and I stared at her. "How? ... Who? ...." I gave up at that point and just shook my head. Women! Are they really mind readers?

"Pearl told me. She said you'd have trouble trying to tell me."

"Smart lady. It was a set-up. An ambush. They want me to run for County Commissioner ... or did you already know that?"

"Uh huh," she grinned.

"They seem to think I can win."

"Uh huh." More grinning.

"They even have funding and volunteers for the campaign."

"Uh huh." Almost laughing now.

"Is there anything you don't know?"

"Only ... are you going to say yes or am I going to have to make you say yes?"

"Oh shit. I don't have a choice, do I."

"Not if you want to marry me. Remember, there's a worldwide shortage of white knights and you're one of them. I expect you to do your duty," she said seductively.

"Are you serious, Tish? This isn't some game. I'll be risking my job and my future in Little River.

"Ozzie, you are so modest, it sometimes makes me angry. I don't have any doubt you will win the election. The people in this town are going to eat you up. They are going to love you, just like I do. Ernie is so sure you are going to win, he's almost ready to start your state legislature campaign." Tish had a death-grip on my neck and her lovely scent was driving me crazy.

"Ernie's an optimist," I said. And when I did, I remembered Snipe's comment to me. They wanted optimists. They wanted people who expected to win at whatever they chose to do. I didn't feel like an optimist right then. I didn't have that sense of confidence that would make me feel like a winner. Maybe they hadn't chosen so wisely after all.

Tish stayed over that night. She had a stash of clothes and supplies that meant we didn't have to keep running back and forth to the Timely's. It was only a matter of time before I would convince her to move in with me.

Ernie called me a couple of days later.

"It won't be a problem," he said cryptically. "I know who was involved and I know they don't want it to see the light of day any more than you and Tish do. You can forget about it as of now."

"How can you be so sure and how did you find out so quickly?" I demanded.

"Let's just say Tish has some very good friends who would do anything to help her. They knew and they told me. I took it from there," he said simply.

And that was that.

The wedding was set for ... you won't believe this ... October 31st ... Halloween! The reasons were simple. It was when both the hall and the church were available. It gave us plenty of time to make sure Tish's divorce was final and allow us to get a license. It took some doing to make sure everyone was available, but we accomplished that as well.

Tish finally succumbed and moved in with me in early September. I used a devious ploy of suggesting, subtly of course, that maybe Julia and Gil would like their privacy back. I don't know if that was the only impetus, but it worked. It turned out Tish had a bunch of things in storage in Blanchford and we arranged to have them delivered to our house. You'll notice I said "our house." That's how I thought of it now.

We got around to having that super-serious talk every about-to-be-married couple is supposed to have. It really wasn't much of a discussion. We both agreed that we wanted children. Two seemed to be the ideal number, but we would be grateful for however many we were blessed with.

The wedding went off without a hitch. Ernie was my best man and Julia was Maid of Honor. When Mel walked his daughter down the isle, there couldn't have been a dry eye in the house. I know mine weren't. She was wearing this lovely mint green full-length gown and she looked fabulous. Mel gave me a big wink as he walked her up to the altar and then pulled the leg of his trouser up enough to reveal bright red socks. Good on you, Mel.

The reception was a hoot. Maybe we should have made it a costume reception because everybody was in a fun mood. Halloween does that to adults just as much as kids. Tish and I finally snuck away about ten and headed to the Inn on the River for our wedding night. The next morning, we drove to the Pocatello airport and our honeymoon in Hawaii. It was the best two weeks either of us had ever had in our lives and we didn't want it to end.

Tish wanted to continue working and was in discussions with Dickie Bird on how she could do that and still have a family. Dickie was a pretty smart cookie and recognizing the value of Tish, went out of his way to tailor her work so that when the time came, she could operate a work station at home. It was just a matter of installing some security procedures.

I had a long talk with Milo Selwind, my boss, and told him about the possibility of my running for office next year. He was amazingly supportive as well. I'm not sure he wasn't in on it from the beginning, but he was sure we could bring in an understudy and have him trained by the time my campaign would start, and take over if and when I was elected. Milo seemed to think my election was a "done deal."

When you've got that many people supporting you and paving the way for you, how the hell can you say no? You can't. I didn't. In fact, the idea was growing on me and I decided to arrange some meetings with Rowdy Carbutt and Ernie to discuss ideas and policy. We might as well find out if there are any conflicts early on in the game before I stuck my neck out.

Rowdy was a real revelation. I had mistakenly pegged him as a small town sheriff who had served the community so well that his election was just a matter of course. He had been unopposed in the past six or seven elections that I could recall and you would think that he might be a bit jaded. Not the case at all.

Rowdy was a real good thinker and had his fingers on the pulse of our county like no one else. He was a storehouse of information and I was delighted to tap it. He knew where all the skeletons were buried, including the ones associated with my two expected opponents.

Early on we talked about what kind of campaign we should run and I was insistent that I didn't want to engage in any mudslinging. I got no argument from Ernie or Rowdy and in fact, they were just as committed as I was to taking the high road and sticking to our message. In the back of my mind I wondered if that commitment would be tested in the months to come.

We decided to announce my candidacy late rather than early. As expected, the incumbent and an old warhorse from the "other party" announced early in the New Year and we were sure they thought it would be a simple two-party fight. They couldn't wait to sling dirt at each other so they didn't. We just sat back and smiled as they forgot about what their duties and objectives were supposed to be and took regular pot-shots at each other.

We announced one day before the closing of nominations. Naturally, we had all the paperwork in place and quietly filed our forms. There was no newspaper reporter or TV crew on hand. Time enough for that later.

I won't go into all the details of the campaign, but ours ran like clockwork. Our opponents virtually ignored me for the first month until the polls began to show, and then the fun began. They must have been desperate to find something they could use against me, but the best they could manage was that I didn't have any political experience. They soon found out that the voters thought that was a plus, not a minus.

We stuck to our message and kept the debate within the framework of the county's needs and ambitions. I appeared at all the all-candidates meetings and watched as my opponents flailed and thrashed about, trying to find something to discredit our campaign.

I don't know how many meetings I attended with the D.A.R., School Board, League of Women Voters, Veterans of Foreign Wars, Chamber of Commerce and others I can't even remember. My strategy was simple. Listen. Find out what was important to them and see where the common ground was. I wasn't big on making promises, particularly ones I knew I couldn't keep.

I was as honest as I could be, even if it wasn't what all of them wanted to hear. All the while, Tish was with me at every meeting and every strategy session. She was as big a part of my campaign as anyone. Not bad considering she was seven months pregnant with our first child.

We won. We won big. A forty six percent victory, with the other two split almost evenly at twenty eight for the incumbent and twenty six for the other. Ernie and Rowdy had called it and that's exactly what happened.

Charles Melnor Hanswatter was born on December 1st at Little River Hospital. He had the decency to wait until nearly nine am, giving his mother a chance to get up and have me drive her to the hospital. Melnor was my father-in-law's name and I was delighted to be able to bestow it upon our son. Mel was just as proud as he could be and both parents were ecstatic with their first grandchild.

I'm getting settled into my new job and I think I'm going to enjoy it. I'd like to think I'm a common sense kind of guy, but then, as Voltaire said a long time ago, "Common sense is not so common." A lot of my fellow citizens come to see me about one problem or another and it's my job to steer them in the right direction, even if I don't think there's anything we can do.

I didn't forget about Martha, my ex-wife. It might have been an attack of conscience or maybe just a feeling of compassion, I'm not sure. I thought about talking to her, but I knew that wouldn't be a good idea. I was pretty sure she'd figured out that she'd picked the wrong horse in Burk. Too late now, she was committed.

I sent her an anonymous typed note suggesting that the law was having a careful look at the goings-on at the County zoning Office. I mentioned Carlton Shambles as being a suspect and left it at that. If she took the hint, she might get away with being a "found-in." Otherwise, I had done my duty. Carlton, of course, was dead meat.