Rags to Riches

People are always curious as to exactly how I came up with the idea for the Athena 2100. They are just astonished that a man in his early twenties could come up with such a concept and turn it into one of the world's largest money makers. Actually the Athena 2100 sells itself. As to how I came up with the idea, well that's the real story. I am James creator and genius behind one of the greatest inventions since fire and this is my story.

I was at a time in my life that can best be described in the immortal words of Charles Dickens, "It was the best of times; it was the worst of times." My tale begins on a Saturday morning when I awoke with late morning sun light streaming into my face and a pounding in my head. My blood shot eyes felt as if someone had poured a sandbox into them and then pissed in them for good measure. My mouth tasted like a leper stricken troll stepped in dog-shit and then when about soaking his feet in it. A pungent smell made me turn my head. Through squinted eyes I saw a pair of urine soaked and shit stained boxers hanging from my bedpost. What a night. What a fucking night. Oh my god, kill me now. Then I heard it; the bleating of a sheep. What the fuck as I bolted upright to see an ugly dirty cloud with four legs just glaring at me.

I remember getting off work earlier the evening before and hooking up with my best mate, Mike. It was another night of hard partying and trying to pick up girls. While the booze flowed freely the women did not. An ugly fuck like me really didn't stand a chance with the ladies anyway. What a grind that party was. Though the details of last night were a bit foggy, my granite like erection that stirred me from my slumber was not. I was so hard I could cut a sheet of glass with this thing. I need to get some pussy and soon. Six months without a piece of ass. That sheep at the other end of my bedroom was starting to look good at this point.

I stood up and stumbled across my large upstairs room dragging the sheet off my bed. As I did all manner of things spilled from it with a cacophony of sounds that can be best described as raining glass and aluminum. A beer can, a whiskey bottle, a glass pipe, a half bag of skunk weed. It was a rutty cornucopia of intoxicants to be sure. After becoming entangled in the sheet I inadvertently kicked an empty pint bottle of Jack Daniels stubbing my toe. Goddamn that hurt. I looked like a circus clown on a bad meth trip hopping around on one foot while my stiff cock and balls bounced up and down. What a freak show. I finally fell with the grace of an ox into my green suede chair at the other end of my room sending it screeching across the floor. Oh my head, my aching head. Please make the bad man in my skull stop hitting me. The sound of the chair on the floor was just too unbearable. I was only nineteen but if I kept this life style up I knew I wouldn't see twenty-five for certain.

I sat there in the chair for several minutes thinking about what I should do next. My life was nothing but party, party, party with no real prospects for anything meaningful on the horizon. My raging one-eyed snake was looking up at me pathetically and was just begging for attention. First thing on today's agenda was to take care of my poor boner. If I didn't I wouldn't be able to get anything else done. Besides my balls had that oh so familiar twinge. Decisive action was needed here. Batten down the hatches and host the mainsail. It's time for a tug-job. I reached over to my desk and pulled out the small jar of Vaseline that I kept for just such occasions as this.

Lubing my cock like a mechanic greases an axle it soon turned that familiar deep shinny purple. Just as I got into the rhythm of things with my fully swollen member my bedroom door burst open. What kind of betrayal to my privacy was this? Can't I catch a break? I was so startled that I nearly flip over in the chair. I must have been doing a good job of stroking because by some sort of divine miracle the gods of masturbation smiled upon me and allowed me to keep my balance. Then when I realized who had interrupted my hedonistic pleasure fest it was soon apparent that the gods were indeed a cruel lot.

"What the fuck!" I blurted out still gripping my drooling dick that was on the edge of eruption. "What is the meaning of this?"

The imposing figure of my stepmother now filled the doorway. Towering at nearly six-foot-one this forty-eight year old descendant of Norse Vikings was not a woman to be trifled with. She glared at me through her ice blue eyes. The scowl on her blotchy pale complexion spoke volumes. She just stood there seething with disgust at the spectacle before her.

"How dare you use that kind of language in front of me young man." She bellowed back with the authority of a drill sergeant on steroids.

She was every bit as religious as she was strict. Cursing was very much frowned upon by her. Even my father, a former sailor never used foul language in her presence. And then her catching me pleasuring myself, well let's just say that is frowned upon also. Sex is uncivilized in her view after all. Sex is something that barn animals do.

"Mary, Joseph and the carpenter boy what are you doing to yourself?" She said staring at my hand as my cock rapidly shrank from a crimson diamond-cutter down to a harmless white raisin.

"I half expected to find you dead up here. Your car is the ditch at the main gate. There is a pair of rather racy women's underpants hanging from your rear-view mirror and a trail of empty beer bottles leading up here to the main house. Not to mention the scarecrow is out of the cornfield and is draped over my picket fence with his pants pulled down around his ankles. And now I find you up here treating your body as a pleasure palace instead of the temple God indented it to be." She said with a snort of discuss.

Did she just say there was a pair of panties hanging from my rear-view mirror? I wonder how those got there. I hope those were from a girl and not Mike. Mike has been a bit of a freak ever since he was kicked in the head by a mule.

Putting her hands on her hips she continued, "You have neglected your chores today, no one has fed the animals, gathered the eggs or milked the cows as of yet. Your behavior as of late is not acceptable mister. Not one bit."

Turning three shades of red at being caught beating off I reached down and grabbed the sheet off the floor and covered myself.

With a grunt my stepmother was having none of it. She snatched the sheet as quickly as a rattlesnake strikes at a threat. Then pointing at my terror-stricken dick she said, "And that is the reason for your poor behavior my friend. I have seen this before. Men, all have a tendency to let there 'things' do their thinking for them. Well no more."

"Like it says in the good-book, 'If you walk with the Spirit you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.'"

She grabbed my ear as if I was a child and pulled me up and out of my comfy chair.

"Let's go", is all she said as she dragged me out of my room and down the flight of stairs.

"Where are we going Greta?" I managed to say between my now gritted teeth as she yanked me out of the house and toward a cluster of buildings that were set back on the property.

To further add to my misery and utter embarrassment my twenty year old stepsister was out in the garden and looked up and saw me being led naked by the ear by her mother.

In absolute confusion she said, "Mother, what is going on? What are you doing with James? Where are his cloths? "

"Never you mind what is going on for now girl. Get back to your chores. There will be plenty to see and do later concerning your brother." She yelled back in a firm voice that meant mind your own business before you get some of this yourself. My stepsister being the more sensible of the two of us knew enough to shut her yap and ignore what was going on.

With a jerk of the wrist my burly stepmother flung me through the barn doors. The momentum sent me sprawling face first onto the floor in front of one our dairy cow stalls. As I sat up I saw that Greta was dragging the farm's dilapidated milking machine across the barn floor in my direction. What the hell is she going to do with that piece of junk? That old machine had been standing guard like some sort of barn-sentinel for as long as I could remember. She plugged the machine into the wall and connected one of the teet cups to one of the four vacuum tubes. She switched it on and nothing happened. In a fit of disgust she kicked it with her booted foot and I could feel the very ground trembled under my bare ass at it began chugging.

Smiling she tossed the machine's hissing and writhing appendage on the ground between my legs.

With the very walls vibrating and dust floating down from the rafters she said in a demanding voice, "Put it on."

Every living creature in that barn had their attention focused on me now. I now knew that the ball was in my court. I could put it on or defy this crazed bitch.

"Put it on? Put what on?" I said stammering at the thought of what she was suggesting. It could only mean one thing but I needed to hear it from her lips to be sure. Surely it's not what I am imagining she wants me to do. That's just twisted. That's some shit Mike would think of.

"Put the teet cup on your penis - boy."

"You're insane" I managed to sputter over the drone of the milking automaton.

"God demands that I drain all the sin out of you. An empty man is a righteous man. Semen is the Devil's poison. I mean to save your soul. Now put the thing on. Now!" She said through clenched teeth.

There was something in her eyes that said she wasn't going to take no for an answer. That fucking holy-roller is as mad as a hatter. I quickly ran some numbers in my head. I weighed about a scrawny buck-twenty and she was at least two hundred pounds of muscle with almost zero body fat. Working on a farm your whole life does that to a woman. I was five-nine she was six-one. No matter how I crunched the figures the numbers just didn't add up in my favor and defying her would be perilous for sure.

Nervously I inched the teet cup toward my cock. I was very hesitant to say the least. Would this thing hurt? It looked like it would. The noise the machine was producing and the sucking sound that was coming from the teet cup sounded like it would rip my dick from my flesh leaving me in the female way. But what choice did I have? This crazy cunt would probably hold me down and put it on me anyway. Better to be a man and not let it come to that. I do have my dignity after all.

As the suctioning tentacle drew ever closer to my frightened and cowering love muscle the more desperate I was becoming. Finally and without warning, it leaped from my hand and latched itself onto my member.

Like lightning; Oh by the gods was my first thought. My head snapped back and my mouth opened in a breathless gasp. It was total nirvana. It felt like being sucked on by five women at once. This thing sucks with such force. All these years this machine sat silent in this barn as I did my chores not once did it speak its hidden pleasures to me. How many times did I walk by ignorant of its pleasures? God why didn't I think of this sooner? All my embarrassment, all of my in-habitations, everything just melted away as I was being sucked off by this four armed stainless steel apparatus.

I was lost in pure pleasure. It was indescribable. I virtually floated through space. Time seemed to slow as I was viciously tugged and sucked by this mechanical tetrapodid fiend. I could feel my cock and balls swell to a size I didn't think possible. My balls shook violently and uncontrollably as they prepared for the inevitable crescendo that was soon to come. It was then as time had seemed to almost completely stop, and my mind was lost in unqualified euphoria that I exploded with the force of an atomic bomb. Semen burst forth from the penis like fire hose. It stung as it raced through my pee hole at break-neck speeds. In rapid succession I felt the thuds more than I heard them as my love juices struck the inside of the metal milking can that was joined to this contraception. It was like a machine gun ripping through a belt of ammunition in a desperate hope of staving off an enemy charge that was sure to overrun the gunner's position.

Being fully spent I keeled over as the medal demon was still ferociously milking away at my very soul. My stepmother either in compassion or fear that she killed me yanked the plug from the wall. All fell silent.

I lay there for what seemed an eternity. Dreaming dreams of my new found love, a metal love machine. Women weren't really necessary anymore I realized. Man did not need to depend on them. He did not need to spend his hard earned money in the pursuit of wooing them in the off chance that they might put out. Think about it. Think about the ramifications. No more nagging. No more chores. No more minivans. No more stupid question; do I look fat in this. Man could watch football from dawn to dusk.

Since the dawn of man the need for pussy was an unbreakable rule of nature. Pussy, like crack was a dependency that could not be satiated. It was like a siren's call dragging men to their very doom. Man's need for pussy could even start wars. Try as man did over the eons no one ever created a device that could replace a woman. I had stumbled upon the greatest invention since fire. It was an evil enslavement that I would break; I would be the one to set men free of the dominance of woman with this technology.

I knew then what my calling was. I was to become a captain of industry. I was going to design and patent an appliance that would pleasure men. Drain away all their troubles and worries with a flick of a switch. I was going to take mankind to the next level. This was an achievement that ranked right up there with landing on the moon. Thanks to that crazy bitch I was going to be filthy rich; even a household name. Men would scream my name from every mountain. I would be worship as a god. This simple device would lead to the apotheosis of James.

Well that's how it happened. Half a decade later I am sitting on a mountain of money and living my life large. Women from all over want to fuck me now. It's funny how money can make an ugly guy attractive to women. My stepmother Greta still lives on that dreary little farm doing farm shit. My sister had the good sense to move out. Like I said she's the smart one. Oh and as for Mike, that freak is my marketing director. He tours the country giving live demonstrations of the Athena 2100. And as for the sheep in my room, your guess is as good as mine as to what happened to it.