Recollection

For J, on your birthday. You've made reality better than fiction.

* * * * *

Jim was lying in bed at home, staring at the ceiling as the light was fading. Although he was physically drained, he could not bring himself to close his eyes and relax. His mind was filled with images of the weekend just past. He had spent two days and nights in a hotel room with a woman he had never seen before, but knew as intimately as anyone on earth. It had been truly the most memorable, powerful 48 hours of his life.

Jim's analytical nature took over; he began to retrace, again, how he ended up in this emotional maelstrom. He chuckled thinking about the circumstances, such a short time ago, under which he fell into an Internet relationship, something he had always mocked upon hearing of others in the same situation.

He and Gina had started as casual correspondents, exchanging occasional e-mails about a common interest. Having recently divorced, he was looking to develop a real-life relationship, maybe with a hot young babe, rather than becoming someone's long distance pen-pal. Nevertheless, they were both accomplished writers which made him look forward to reading her commentary on many different subjects. In turn, he enjoyed composing his replies, engaging in a subtle competition to create as witty and interesting insights as he had received.

He eventually discovered that Gina was married with children, struggling through a contentious, sometimes abusive relationship. He gave her sound, objective advice, as well as confided in her his feelings about his recent divorce, the affects it had on his psyche. Without any intent, they bared more and more of their souls to each other in an effortless, natural way. Soon, Jim was amazed to discover that he was thinking of Gina all the time, wondering what she was doing at that moment, worrying about her so far away.

One of the things that drew him to her, particularly at the point where he recognized the swell of love replacing a pleasant friendship, was how vulnerable she was. It wasn't a needy kind of thing, just a deep hurt and longing crying out to be soothed. Of course, she would never have admitted to it, relying on her confidence and sense of humor to be the traits that the world would recognize her by. But he knew better. And contrary to his sensible and prudent disposition, he would find a way to be the one to make it right in her life, even across the great distance and despite her marital status.

They had taken up online chatting, late at night, after her family had gone to bed. The hours flew by quickly as they communicated line by line, their familiarity and understanding increasing exponentially. In the wee hours of one morning as they were agreeing that it was time to log off and go to bed, Jim found he could no longer wait to tell Gina how he felt about her. He summoned up his courage and typed, "I love you." He pressed the Enter key to transmit the message that could change his life. He held his breath, waiting for the response.

Although it only took a few seconds, an eternity seemed to pass before another line appeared in his chat window: "I love you." He exhaled forcefully. Then another line, "Oh my god. Now what?!"

Their correspondence became even more frequent, filled with expressions of love and hope and what-ifs. Jim constantly checked his e-mail box to see if there were any new messages. It was sometimes difficult for Gina to privately access her computer which she shared with her husband, so the many hours between new messages were frustrating. When his screen materialized with the announcement, "You have 1 new message," Jim's heart leapt as he eagerly opened the new missive.

They both readily agreed that they had to meet in person, at the earliest possible moment. Naturally, Gina's situation made it very difficult. She finally came up with a plan to visit relatives in a city near Jim's location. Once the plans were made, they still had to wait four weeks. Four tortuous weeks, anticipating, worrying, filled with elation. Jim rehearsed the meeting in his mind, over and over. His normal self-confidence seemed to erode when he began to imagine that Gina wouldn't like him in person as much as online, or that she would ultimately decide that staying with her husband was her only recourse. Jim resolved to make her see, somehow, that he would be her protector, her friend, her lover forever.

Jim lay there, smiling at the recollection of his determination. The memory unexpectedly energized him; he got up from the bed and made his way into his bathroom. He started to empty his shaving kit and put away the various items. He reached in and pulled out a small box. He didn't recognize it until he saw the logo of the hotel where they had stayed emblazoned on it. He lifted the box to his nose, inhaling the scent of the soap. Instantly, he was struck by the image of being with Gina in the shower, her laughing heartily as he created a rich lather over her stomach and breasts. His eye caught his reflection in the mirror, a wide grin on his face. He placed the soap on the counter, allowing his hand to linger on it for just a moment.

When he had finished in the bathroom, Jim went back into his room, flipped on the light switch and turned his attention to his suitcase. With characteristic precision, he examined each item of clothing, relegating it to the laundry basket or returning it to the closet or dresser with care. When he lifted out a blue shirt, he hesitated for a moment. He gripped the fabric as another vision overtook him.

Jim was wearing that shirt when he and Gina met for the first time. He was surprised that perspiration stains weren't more obvious, considering the intensity of his nervousness as he paced the lobby, waiting for her to arrive. He remembered watching a taxi pull up to the front door, somehow knowing she was inside. He stood off to the side in order to watch her unobserved. When she stepped out of the car, he recognized her immediately. His breath caught in his throat. Her pictures didn't do her justice. Her face, her dress, her hair, were perfect. And then, an image that would always strike him as the moment that he was certain there was no turning back on his love for her.

She stood facing the entrance to the hotel, her suitcase at her side. She just stood there, not moving, seemingly paralyzed. The look on her face expressed everything she was feeling, everything that he loved about her. She had a wide-eyed stare; part wonder, part fear. The vulnerability he had discerned reading between the lines of their correspondence was confirmed. He saw her swallow, then close her eyes for a moment. He imagined she was gathering up her courage to take the last few steps towards a meeting that would change her life. He felt the urge to race to her, but he refrained, knowing he had to let her take those steps alone.

Jim sighed and placed the shirt in the laundry basket. His memory of the next few hours was a blur. When she stepped through the door into the lobby, she looked straight at him and ran into his arms, as if she had done it a thousand times before. They managed to find the elevator and the correct room. Once the door closed behind them, they didn't lose contact with each other for quite some time. Their clothes somehow ended up on the floor. They fell together, a tangle of lips and tongues, probing fingers and urgent caresses. His passion for her engulfed him; all his plans for their first encounter, to slowly build to a crescendo, were overwhelmed by the imperative need to unite with her. He had never before been consumed by such a sensation, something that totally transcended the physical realm. Jim couldn't recall the exact moment he penetrated her, only that he eventually found himself riding a tidal wave of overpowering pleasure. He had a sense she was clinging to him with the same urgency, their bodies moving together, their souls merging. He cried out with ecstasy and relief as his pent-up emotions burst forth with his seed into her.

Jim had no awareness of the next segment of time; he had no idea how long had passed until he felt Gina's hand stroking his hair. He lifted his head. He immediately recognized tears on her cheeks, which startled him. He raised himself off her and peered at her intently. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" he exclaimed, alarmed that he had ruined their first time together.

Gina's face dissolved into a look of confusion. "What do you mean? Oh, Jim, I was so afraid you wouldn't like me in real life! I was frozen; I wanted to give you so much more pleasure, to make this first time so special…" She turned her head away as tears began to well in her eyes again.

Jim reached over and gently turned her face towards him. "Gina, couldn't you tell? I have never felt such intensity, such love, ever in my life. That was the most perfect time, for me. I'm just so sorry I couldn't make it as wonderful for you."

Her eyes pleaded with him. "Being with you, having you in me, made it the most wonderful thing for me. Please don't apologize!"

"No, it isn't enough. I love you so much and I want to make up for it."

Jim lowered his head to kiss her on her cheeks, wiping away her salty tears. He felt her begin to relax under him. He brushed his lips down her face, over her jawline to her neck. She tilted her head up to allow him better access to the sensitive skin on her throat. He trailed his mouth down bit by bit, reveling in the taste of her succulent skin. His hand slid up the outside of her leg, over her hip, to her stomach where he gently caressed the swells and curves.

When he reached the top of her breasts, he hesitated for a moment. He looked up at her. She had her eyes closed, an expression of radiance on her face. Jim's heart swelled with love. He lowered his lips again, moving over the sweet orbs, their soft flesh yielding under his now voracious mouth. As he sucked on a nipple, she arched her back, moaning softly. He delighted in her response, giving him the impetus to venture more boldly. He grasped her other breast with his hand and guided the nipple towards his mouth. He opened his lips wider, taking in the ample areole, applying firm pressure. Gina immediately squirmed, a little cry escaping. He flicked her nubbin with his tongue, feeling it bend and snap back over and over. Gina grasped his head and pressed him closer, her hips moving and swaying.

Jim broke contact with her nipple and moved his mouth lower, down the center of her torso. The gentle, teasing kisses made her giggle a little, yet she did not pull away. He felt her sharp intake of breath as he reached the top of her soft pubic triangle.

He lifted his head again, and heard her give a little whimper of protest. He stroked the top of her leg. "I want you so much, Gina. I want to taste you. Let me do this for you."

He saw her smile, her eyes filled with an expression of gratitude. She moved her legs apart.

Jim positioned himself between her thighs, reveling in the sight of her proffered womanhood. He slid his palms up the inside of her thighs, pushing them even wider apart. He noted the dark golden color of her hair, glistening with the aftermath of his explosive assault. When his fingertips reached the edge of her pussy, she lifted her hips, her anticipation evident. Gently, Jim pulled on her swollen outer lips, to pry them apart, to uncover more of what lay beneath. She moaned as he exposed her labia to him, the turgid red, slick lips almost visibly throbbing with excitement.

With a fingertip, Jim stroked the edge of her lips from bottom to top. They parted under the pressure, revealing her vaginal opening, brimming with their mingled fluids. The sight of it filled Jim with undiluted lust. His tongue shot out and moved down to taste the nectar. It was like cool water for a man wandering in the desert; Jim became lost in the sensation of drinking her life-sustaining liquid, his tongue moving rapidly, searching out every nook and cranny where it could be hidden.

He was barely aware of her thrusting her pelvis against him, her cries becoming more urgent. His tongue had only one purpose and nothing else mattered. He vaguely remembered her grasping the sides of his head, directing him towards the hard protrusion at the top of her pussy. First he licked it, then he wrapped his lips around it, sucking it as if it were a straw. Gina's body tensed, her fingers desperately entwined in his hair. With agonized gasps, she began to tremble, then shake, then buck heedlessly. Jim had to press down on her legs to try to keep his mouth on her. The cries subsided into moans, then tapered off all together into the sound of them breathing heavily while Jim rested his head on her stomach.

Jim nearly jumped when he realized he had been standing in the middle of the room for quite a while reliving this part of their encounter. He marveled at how some images were so vivid, others just a jumble of sensations. He realized that he could recall exactly how she tasted at that moment, that he would remember it forever.

He gave himself a little shake to try to finish his task of cleaning out his suitcase, but he could no longer deny the exhaustion that was overtaking him. Wearily, he stripped off his clothes, letting them fall to the floor. He collapsed naked on the bed, not even bothering to slide under the sheets.

Unbidden, more images continued to invade his thoughts. His mind was not ready to let go just yet. Jim could do nothing but surrender to the flow, having no strength to fight it.

He began to recount the details of the first evening they spent together, after they had dozed in each other's arms. Even through his weariness, Jim smiled as he remembered how he had been filled with elation when he awoke later in the afternoon. Gina had been still asleep, so he savored the opportunity to gaze upon her face, her breasts, her legs. She had expressed to him her fear that her appearance would not be to his liking, but whatever the reason for her trepidation, he could not see it.

In a few minutes, she began to stir. Jim placed tender kisses on her head, stroking her shoulder and arm. She looked up at him, beaming. Jim pressed his lips to hers, trying to convey the emotion he felt. She returned his kiss with an unmistakable passion of her own; when they finally broke away, Jim felt that he had no reason to doubt that his love was being returned.

A loud rumble from Jim's stomach pointed out that they must go out and eat something. He recalled how lustrous she looked in her pretty summer dress as they strolled the waterfront searching for a suitable restaurant. They held hands as they walked, stopping every so often for a kiss. They found a small, candlelit place to dine. Their conversation flowed easily; it was so nice to see her expressions as they talked, instead of relying on faceless computer or telephone communication. When their meal was barely over, Gina reached across the table and put her hand on Jim's. With a wicked smile on her face, she said in a low voice, "Come on, let's get back to the hotel… now!"

Jim was slightly taken aback by the unmistakable note of lust in her voice. He hadn't seen this side of her in person yet, not that he had any objections. He managed a mock look of amazement, then laughed and quickly paid the bill.

When they got into the elevator back at the hotel, she leaned against the wall opposite from where Jim was standing. As the elevator began to rise, she leveled a look at him that immediately sent a surge into his cock. "I can't tell you how you turn me on, how hot you make me. You make me want to do things I've never done before. And I want to do them right now."

She lowered her gaze, staring at his crotch. He felt his erection expanding.

She smiled at the reaction. The elevators doors opened. Gina took Jim by the arm and led him down the corridor.

"So you won't mind if I drive now, will you?"

Jim could only nod dumbly.

There in his bed, totally consumed by the memory of this particular part of their weekend, Jim was brought back to the present by the realization that his cock was hard again. He must have been absentmindedly stroking it. He decided that this encounter had been the most exciting one for him of all the ones they had during their time together. It wasn't just the physical or the emotional sensations; he had been so aroused by Gina asserting herself with him for the first time. He knew that it took a lot for her to overcome her own self-doubts and vulnerability. For her to put herself on the line like that was truly thrilling to him. It intensified everything.

He recalled how Gina led him over to the bed, and positioned him standing facing her, a few feet away. Looking him in the eyes, she began to unbutton the front of her dress, slowly. As each button was released, more and more flesh appeared, then the top of her lacy bra. Jim watched intently. When enough buttons were undone, Gina slipped one arm through, then the other and let the dress fall to the floor.

She stood there in a beautiful satin bra and panties. Jim's face betrayed his lust. "I've never worn anything like this before," she said. "I'm glad you like it."

Jim reached out his hand to touch her, but she intercepted it and firmly placed it back by his side. "Oh no, sweetie. You can just watch for the moment."

Jim swallowed hard and felt another surge in his already hard cock.

Gina cupped her breasts from below, running her thumbs across her nipples. They immediately protruded under the fabric. She closed her eyes as she stroked them, moaning softly. She moved her hands down, over her waist and stomach. Her fingertips disappeared under the waistband of her panties. Jim could see her shiver as they made contact with her pussy, the panties growing darker near her crotch.

She opened her eyes and looked at him again. Her hands moved back up to her shoulders to push the straps of her bra down her arms. She leaned over slightly, allowing the bra to drop forward, giving him a peek at the pleasure to come. She reached behind her to undo the hooks. Slowly, the bra slid down, then off completely. Her breasts came free, falling full and heavy, her rosy nipples already puckered. She straightened up and ran her fingertips across the soft white flesh.

Her hands slid down to her panties again. She closed her eyes and began to push the lacy material down over her hips. Little by little, more skin was revealed, then her ample mound was exposed. She bent over to push the panties down her legs, kicking them away as they slid over her feet. She stood up and put her hands on her hips, a little smile on her face.

Jim was totally inflamed watching her. His breathing quickened; he longed to touch her, but he wanted her to take the lead. Never had he become so aroused just by watching someone undress.

In a moment, Gina reached out and gently pulled on Jim's shirt, drawing him closer to her. She smiled as she released his buttons. When the shirt was open, she reached underneath and stroked his chest. Jim closed his eyes and sighed. He felt her slipping the shirt off his shoulders, then falling onto the floor. He held his breath as she skimmed her fingertips down his torso towards his belt. He suppressed a moan as she pulled on the leather strap, his knees ready to buckle from the tension. He exhaled sharply as he felt the belt give way. With agonizing slowness, her fingers began to manipulate the button, the task more difficult because of the swollen mass of flesh underneath. It finally came free.

Now, just the zipper remained between agony and ecstasy. Her search for the tab brought her fingers in contact with the now rigid head of his cock. Each time she pressed in, trying to grasp it, he shifted and moaned, unable to focus any more. The zipper finally started to descend, giving the constricted flesh more room under his shorts. His pants slid quickly around his ankles and he stepped out of them.