Red Doors Ch. 10

Chapter 10: Love lost/Love found

Thomas and I were elated with another wonderful out come on a patient that was well worth knowing. We had been asked to go to a convention our first trip away together. Looking forward to the conference hoping that Thomas might let loose and become my lover. I was putting in my third bathing suit that I noted looked like dental floss. Well whatever would catch his attention.

Packing the last piece of lingerie in I was about to snap my case down. Thomas walked up behind me as I was straining the case shut.

"Abigail you think you might have over packed? It looks like you brought enough for two weeks of being away." He teased in his voice.

"Well Thomas I am not able to put a suit together with four shirts and some under clothing. I have style in and out of the sun and fun." I answered laughing.

The suitcase clicked shut as we were gathering our luggage. The car had arrived. Once we got the cases situated the driver opened my door. Sliding into the leather interior I felt the chill of leather hitting my back of my legs. Thomas slipped in we were sitting ver y close. I smelled his scent I loved that his scent was made for him personally.

"It will be a long day on the conference forum. After that we could actually go out see the town if you would enjoy that?" Thomas spoke casually.

"I would enjoy that very much are we going to be late on the flight? This trip will be exciting. I am looking forward to the program high lighting Sexual Therapy." I said with a calm in my voice.

The car ride along with the flight went off effortless. We found our room adjoining to each other's. Nothing was talked about that the door was between us. Oh well he wouldn't ever use it. I laughed to myself.

The hotel was very exclusive I was amazed at all the beauty that was presented to their guest. We were waited on before we even knew we needed something it was at our fingertips. Nobody seemed to be close yet we were constantly being waited on.

The double French doors opening to my suite opened to a magnificent two-room suite. Mirrors on the ceiling floors almost look like glass. The furniture was a real antique. Walking into the bathroom it made me inhale deeply.

Chandeliers hanging above each sink. Gold faucets heated floor. Heated towel racks. Glass enclosed shower would fit five people. I mentally was thinking of Thomas taking me in the shower. The water came down from the top like a beautiful rain forest shower. I closed my eyes thinking of Thomas walking up behind me drawing me to him. His hands going around my body where he allowed my breasts rest upon his hands. All the time kissing my neck working down my shoulder. Stopping just above my breasts. Then he brought his fingers to my nipples slightly twisting them to my sheer enjoyment. My head laid back on his chest my body was resting ever so slightly on him.

"Abigail Abigail? Where are you? I called your name four times you didn't answer. Oh I see the bath takes your mind away doesn't it? It's such luxury shower you will be amazed by it." Thomas spoke from authority.

Immediately I wanted to know who had shared the shower with him the time he was speaking about? Thinking of Thomas touching another woman caused me some uncomfortable feelings.

"Oh yes Thomas I was dreaming of the shower in use." I spoke casually.

"Well, you want room service or go out to the fine restaurants in the hotel?" Thomas asked.

My mind could picture us having an intimate lunch winding up in the shower. His body pressing into mine.

"Room service would be wonderful I am a bit tired." I said regretting the last two words. " I didn't mean I was sleepy because I'm not tired." I made it sound worse.

"Well staying in for lunch would be very nice. We will be hitting the floor running tomorrow morning. Let me order?" Thomas said as he picked the phone up.

Our food was excellent the afternoon turned into a beautiful sun set. Casting shadows upon the walls. We had sat and talked never having being so opened with ourselves. Thomas was laughing loudly it was like music to my ears listening to his laughter.

On rare occasions he laughed but the kind when as soon as it is heard it's stopped. I was enjoying his telling of his school days. I guess I assumed he was Born to be this age and a physician.

"Abigail you will meet Sam tomorrow. Our life seemed to be winding into the other constantly. The greatest doctor around. We had many late night study sessions. We seemed to be able to keep each other organized so we did graduate. Nothing was out of the question with Sam and I." Thomas said smiling.

I looked upon his face seen an honest admiration for his friend.

"That will be very nice seeing your friend. Will you be speaking tomorrow? I think it's one of the early sessions." I said as the phone rang.

Walking to the phone I picked it up to hear the hotel manager speak.

"Is Dr. Williams there?" His voice was crisp.

"Yes." I answered.

Thomas was getting up as he saw my hand reaching towards him. His body was standing his full height as he took the receiver.

"Dr. William speaking." His voice was deep.

I looked upon his face he had gotten unreadable again. Hearing the conversation I was looking out the window. Standing there I saw the beauty of the city far below us. My eyes were focused upon the lights I didn't hear Thomas walking up behind me.

"Guess you will meet Sam tonight. There was a mix up on the room so we will be bunking tonight. The mix up will be set right in the morning." Thomas said as he Looked out the window with me.

"Well great I will enjoy hearing all your mishaps. How you two must have partied all night. Long sessions of studying makes for crazy thoughts. Sam coming here to my suite?" I asked as the doorbell chimed.

"Abigail I think you should know something before..." His voice trailed off as I opened the door.

"Yes, may I help you?" I said confused.

"I sure hope so is Tommy here? My name is Sam." She spoke warmly.

My world swirled up to me I could feel the room twisting engulfing me as I turned towards Thomas. I didn't hear anything other than a loud roar as I fell to the floor. Landing softly I was told. I couldn't get it straight in my mind that Sam was a woman. A woman that did all the crazy things Thomas recalled all afternoon to me.

"Abigail are you okay?" Thomas was speaking to me.

I just wanted to stay safe in my own mind. I didn't want to see Thomas looking at me. I kept my eyes closed. He only repeated it over and over. I finally opened my eyes so he would quit talking.

"Is she okay Tommy? I have never seen anything like that before. Somebody faints so gracefully. Are you okay Abigail?" Sam's concern came through her voice. All I wanted to do was tell her his name isn't Tommy it's Thomas. How could this woman know him she looks way to young for being his colleague? The mere fact she calls him Tommy makes her look childish.

"Abigail can you sit up?" Thomas said seriously.

I wanted to not only sit up but walk out the door. I was so crushed that he had not mentioned Sam was a woman. A beautiful woman at that one with a strong resemblance to Thomas she could be his daughter.

"Sam it would help if you would call me dad and not Tommy. Abigail I was going to tell you Sam is my daughter. I just didn't have time." Thomas said softly.

So Sam is his daughter? What about the Sam that got him through the process of becoming a doctor. I started standing up to look upon Sam's face she was breath taking to look at.

"Oh dad you know I call you Tommy when we haven't seen each other for a long time. This is the longest one too I might add." Sam was teasing. Smiling was some how more beautiful when done by her.

I was on my feet looking at Thomas he was a little uncomfortable with this situation.

"Abigail I would love to introduce you to Sammy my daughter. She has a weird way to get my attention when there has been a lull in our seeing one another. Sammy this is my colleague Abigail." Thomas stopped talking turning away from us.

"Well glad to meet you Sammy. Are you here for the convention or for visit with your dad?" I asked the question my mind was thinking of why? Thomas had never mentioned a daughter to me in our whole time of knowing each other.

She walked towards her dad leaving me with my questions unanswered. Thomas hugged her again I felt like an intruder something was happening. I sat down trying not to intrude on their time.

I had left the room as they were hugging leaving them alone with their troubles. Looking in the gift shops I found some beautiful scarves I could get my sisters. Seeing the little coffee area I sat down trying not to guess what was happening upstairs between father and daughter.

I ordered my coffee enjoying the people watching when I noted Thomas walking towards me. His long strides made him get to my side quickly. He caught the waiter's eye ordering the same as I.

"Well I suppose I should explain what just happened. I am caught off balance by seeing her here. She found out I was in the city and set about finding me. I wish I could have had some time to speak to you first." His voice dropped off.

"Thomas you have had plenty of times to tell me about your daughter. I actually don't need an explanation it's your private matter." I said sounding crushed.

"I told you about Sam getting us through medical school nightmares. She was beautiful very focused. I fell in love with her. She was free spirit didn't believe in marriage. Sammy was conceived I immediately wanted marriage. Sam said no she wasn't marrying anybody." Thomas spoke with pain in his words.

"Abigail you and Sammy are the same age. It's why I have tried to over step any sexual contact with you." Thomas inhaled deeply.

"Thomas it's a poor excuse that you don't want me and what I have to offer because I am your daughters age." I was pissed off. 'I don't feel that is all there is about your daughter and I being the same age."

"You are right Abigail I don't blame you for the anger it warrants angry words. I am married Abigail." Thomas said it as though he was asking me to pass the sugar.

"Married did I hear you right married? You are a married man? Why haven't I been told this fact? I cannot believe you hid this from me. Married what a noble man you must feel allowing me to know you are married man. Get away from me Thomas now!" I spit the last sentence at him.

Jumped up running towards the elevators not looking back. Once the door closed I broke out in tears. Nothing was ever going to be right again for me. Married my friend was married my North Star was taken.

I found my way to my door unlocking it I got inside before I heard the scream that came out in such pain. So now what? This changed everything I was so bewildered by this confession. How? When? Why? Thomas simply hid this side of him. My mind was speeding from one thought to the next without staying put long enough for me to digest any of it.

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My inner door knocked I was reluctant in opening it. I hadn't made to much thought giving ideas on changing my life. Walking towards the door I inhaled deeply. I realized I had to get things right one way or another with Thomas.

Opening the door I saw Thomas standing there he seemed it have shrunk three inches. His face was ashen his shoulders were slumped forward. He had never looked so terrible. "May I come in? We should talk Abigail." Thomas whispered.

Seeing him so down trodden I lost my resolve in leaving him. He could get me to respond emotionally. That was my problem.

"I have no idea what we could talk about, Thomas." I said as I stepped back allowing him to enter.

"I need to talk to you Abigail. I need to clear my actions. I told you I was married I am married. Sam is a patient in the finest asylum that money could buy. Sammy came here to tell me that Sam is dying. The last piece of Sam is dimming she is lost to me now." Thomas' shoulders sunk under the guilt.

I was astonished by this open confession. Thomas was laying down the burden I was sitting there listening.

"I loved her so much I needed her even more. I knew we would make it have this life. It wasn't until she was working in the hospital she became very tired quite easily. Cautioning her to slow down her body was becoming less in her control. She didn't mention this to many people including me." Thomas stopped short took a breath then continued.

"By the time I was aware of her health she was already failing beyond anything we could have tried to slow down this disease. MS took my vibrant wife made her a prisoner in a hideous slow death. She was Sam mentally she was a mother and a daughter. She was my wife and a gifted physician she was capable of being the brightest about diagnosis. She never lost her intelligence her body wouldn't allow her the common decency to communicate."

"As each motion we humans take for granted was taken from her I watched her daily losing. She lost the vibrant personality. She lost the challenge of being capable of being a wonderful mate. Having our daughter around was constantly a reminder of what we both were losing." Thomas fell quiet.

I was being torn with compassion and rage I wanted to hug him and slap him. I didn't speak I was sitting there awaiting his pain to surface. My mind was racing though.

"Abigail losing Sam the way I did I found solace in my work. I didn't have a lot of Time for raising a daughter. Sam's parents took over her daily living lovingly with happiness they captured their daughters essence. I was beyond caring in my daily living. I shut down. I quit seeing Sam she was lost to me she was lost to this world. I started looking into the sexual side of the human being. Studied it made it my life's work began my practice. The day you came into my life I was startled by you." Thomas said with a sparkle in his eye.

"Why?" I asked interested.

"Because my dear sweet Abigail you are as stunning as Sam. Your intelligence of medicine leaves me stunned at times. You're are an enigma in many ways. You are what each of professor's watch for but rarely find. You are the consummate physician. You are once in a lifetime wonder when medicine and compassion unite for the better of all mankind." Thomas said with pride.

I was struck by the words that he had just said it caused me to reach into myself.

"Thomas don't you understand? I am in love with you." I was shocked by my confession but continued, 'I have loved you since you taught me the finer points of medicine." When I quit talking I wasn't sure what was going to happen.

Thomas stood up pulled me up to him and kissed me with passion. I was taken by the intensity of that kiss.

"Abigail I must take care of the end of my life before I knew you. Afterwards I will be able to cherish your love I love you too." His voice was filled with emotion.

He ended up leaving me alone to go to the conference as he dealt with the death of his wife Sam. Sammy went back to her grandparents to finish her study of archeology where she will leave for Egypt to live.

"Did we make love? Well that will be a secret I won't share."