Little Shop of Shiva
Another long day at the shop had slipped away. I unlocked the apartment and threw my jacket on the recliner as I reached for the remote. After several attempts the afternoon news filled the screen, but the remote failed to respond after numerous attempts to change channels. Too many abrupt encounters with the hardwood floor had finally taken their toll. Without pausing to grab my customary after work brew, I went out the door committed to a quick trip to "Wally World" for a generic replacement. The cross town commute in rush hour traffic promised to raise my already frazzled stress levels, but a night without the convenience of a remote was even less appealing. As I started to unlock the car, I glanced over at the seldom visited strip mall across the street and spotted a small storefront with the words Ravi's Electronics hand painted on the window. Surely they would have a small selection of remotes. I relocked the door and walked over, dodging stressed motorists as they sped home to their own TVs.
As I entered the small store, I was almost overwhelmed by the odor of incense and haunting sounds of sitar music. The walls were covered with tapestries, most of a dude sitting on an ornate cushion with a bunch of arms coming out of his torso and a third eye in his forehead. The proprietor sat behind a cluttered workbench working on an old VCR with bifocals thicker than Coke bottles. Against the back wall, several different remotes were hanging unceremoniously, so I grabbed the one with the least buttons and waved it at the old man.
"Nine fifty," he offered with an almost indecipherable accent.
I pulled out a ten and thanked him as I strolled out the door, eager for a breath of fresh air. After playing the real life version of "Frogger" to cross the highway, I was soon back in my apartment, pausing to grab a brew before dropping onto the over-aged and overstuffed couch and ripping the cursed thick plastic off of my new possession. The instructions were printed on material akin to rice paper and damn near required a microscope to read. After a few trial and error attempts at programming, the TV flashed on and I was soon enjoying the last half of an original episode of Star Trek. The remote had a row of three buttons along the bottom that I didn't see on the instructions, but the red middle button had a return arrow inscribed so I figured they were designed for the cable box and thought nothing more of them until later that night during a commercial for Domino's.
Comparing a Domino's pizza to a greased soaked cardboard crust is no great stretch of the imagination, so when the commercial began I inadvertently pushed the blue button on the bottom of the control (That was the same location as the channel change button on the old control). In a flash, I landed hard on my butt on a carpeted floor, the remote in one hand and my beer in the other. I was butt naked. The room was dimly lit by a candle, but it was a bedroom -- definitely feminine with pink curtains and flowery patterns on most everything. There was dead silence for several moments, and I held my breath while getting my bearings.
A deep moan came from atop the bed, and the mattress began to move sporadically. I ventured on my knees to peer over the edge and encountered a delicate hand rubbing the living piss out of a neatly trimmed pussy. My heart jumped into my throat as I watched the heightening sexual arousal of this delightful female form in the throes of self pleasuring. Her large breasts had rolled to the sides of her heaving chest; rippling symmetrically as her one hand pinched one of the large erect nipples and her other continued to frantically rub the wet pink center of her womanhood. I got painfully hard instantly, savoring her sexual scent wafting through the room amidst her soft lustful whimpers. The hand stroking her vulva became a blur as she pulled her knees up and arched her back with the impending orgasm. With short shallow gasps she reached her climax, the bed shaking violently as her passion dripped onto the pink comforter.
My painful erection took control, and carefully setting the remote and brew on the nightstand, I gently climbed aboard. I positioned myself between her still trembling legs lining - up my manhood with her cum drenched hand, then quickly moved her hand aside and took the plunge. Already well lubricated, I slid in completely to the hilt as her eyes shot open in surprise. A few moments passed before her eyes dreamily closed and she rocked her hips gently to coincide with my thrusts. She didn't possess the tightest pussy I've ever invaded, but her soft mewling gasps, her wildly gyrating breasts, and the deep red flush that crept up her neck and down her chest suggested it would be one of the most enjoyable couplings to date. As her hips urged me on, my mouth became parched, and my back began to ache from an old work injury, but I continued to quicken my onslaught on the delicious puffy pussy. Her back slowly arched and her breaths came in short pants as my cock began swimming in the effluence her pussy generated. With a savage thrust of her hips her face grimaced in orgasmic ecstasy, clamping my cock tightly. She uttered a guttural groan as she threw her arms around me, riding her orgasmic waves as I felt my air being forced from my lungs. Stars began to dance on my vision when she finally released me and eased back down onto the mattress.
With my manhood still in control, I gradual renewed my onslaught. She moaned, a long, drawn out sound that was tersely cut short with my second thrust. Our hips immediately resumed their rhythm as we steadily climbed towards release. My mouth locked around the nearest engorged nipple as her hand snaked between us and found the wildly swinging sac housing my sperm producing glands. With my sensory input on overload, I pumped her wildly until, with a final thrust that matched her desperate up thrust, I erupted three pent up months of seed into her pulsating cavern. Again she likened to squeeze the life from me as our bodies relished the total bliss of sexual unity. I collapsed onto her soft voluptuous frame as we both struggled to refill our lungs and calm our racing hearts. With my last reserves, I rolled us onto our sides, and kissed her full trembling lips.
"Who are you" she queried breathlessly as warning alarms jangled silently in my head. I'd seen too many movies to know the outcome to any given response could be catastrophic. Gently reaching over her, I grabbed my lukewarm brew and the control. I smiled as I pushed the red button -- or at least I thought I'd pushed the red button. . .
I landed with a thud on some spiked ferns in the middle of a tropical jungle. The air was thick and humid yet invigorating. Slowly, I assumed a sitting position and rearranged my butt to keep from getting poked. This remote was great -- a key to free sex without any of the normal games and greenbacks at the mere push of a button! I could hear the cheerful babble of a nearby stream, and slowly rose to make my way towards it. What remained of my beer bottle lay shattered on a boulder, but I figured I could live without it. The stream was merely a meter wide, and I could see small spiny fish frolicking in the small eddies formed by the tumbling waters. Gently placing the remote on a decaying stump, I waded into the cool brisk water as the sounds of the forest soothed my senses. After a refreshing break, I stumbled onto a rich grassy slope and bathed in the sun while studying the remote more carefully. There were no manufacturer trademarks to be found, and the button I figured I had pressed was blue. On the other side of the red return button, there was a green button but I was somewhat hesitant to try that one. Instead, I would push the red button, and hopefully return home.
Just as I made my decision, and ungodly earth shaking roar erupted behind me, and I scrambled to my feet immediately. Slowly turning towards the sound source, I came face to gut with God-funking-zilla! He was a prime functioning model of T-Rex, or something from the same family with lizard skin, drooling choms, and eyes that perceived me as an exotic appetizer. Fight or flight kicked in - no one truly understands the flight response until they're tearing through the forest in a zigzag pattern to avoid becoming a dino-delicacy. My life was flashing before my eyes so fast I was getting vertigo. Just up ahead, some large boulders rested and beyond that, there was the rise onto a smoking volcano. I throttled up and headed to the hill, my lungs and feet on fire, as each monster footfall behind me created mini-quakes.
Just as my strength began to wane, I spotted a small crevasse barely large enough to accommodate me. I dove through the thick foliage and into the darkness in a full nelson that would have silenced the critics at the Olympic Gymnastics competition. Another quick somersault and I bounced against the back wall of my new found refuge. There were three furry beasties staring at me with eyes as big as saucers. They were definitely females; two had what could best be described as small conical breasts, and the third had the deflated hangers of a bitch dog. The cleft between their legs was barely distinguishable unlike the lustful gaze in their eyes as they focused on my torso. I quickly fumbled with the buttons on the remote as they leaped on my body, their ruddy nails tearing at my soft skin.
Suddenly an unearthly roar followed by a loud thunk and an inhuman scream echoed from the entrance of the cave. The four of us froze and turned to view the spitting image of Captain Caveman. This dude was ugly with an obvious lack of personal hygiene skills. How he took down a creature easily twenty times his size with the club he was brandishing was beyond me. Further, how he could ever hope to knock up one of his female counterparts with the cock the size of a sun dried earthworm placed serious doubt on my concept of evolution. Observations aside, it was quite apparent that competition was not his forte and he charged with eyes blazing while I cringed with the flight option now unavailable. He raised his club while in full stride, and I instantly realized his vulnerability. My fist shot strait towards his groin and he, like most men toppled into a quivering hairy mound of jelly. Crises averted.
Not so! One of the conical twins took me down with a quick chop to the back of my knees allowing the other to swiftly mount my torso and commence her frenzied rutting. Although her fur was fine, when driven with sixty kilos of sex starved flesh, it instantly became steel wool. Only occasionally did my genitals contact the soft wet cleft hidden within. Just as I was about to bid farewell to my most cherished extremity, the head of my cock lodged into her opening. With both voiced a collective gasp. Strong muscular contractions pulled me deeper into her depths creating a vacuum that rapidly coaxed me to fullness. She pushed down forcefully and I forced into the tightest, silkiest depths imaginable. With a second thrust, my glans was embedded in her cervix. The unmistakable grimace spoke of her agony even though my shaft was barely halfway engulfed. She paused as the hag with dangling tits chirped a string of single syllable commands and her vagina gradually accommodated my girth. With a look of resolve, she slowly raised her hips and began the jumping up and down on my painfully engorged organ. Mercifully, she quickly sped up her strokes until, with a high pitched scream, her vagina convulsed so tightly, my cock was physically forced out.
Seizing the opportunity, the other cone breasted critter forcefully shoved her to the side and mounted me. Once again, my glans penetrated her cervix, but she withdrew quickly, and, despite the obvious discomfort, she began to ride me fervently. The nipples on her chest became engorged and peeked out through the fine hair as her arousal became apparent. Despite my discomfort, I too became aroused, and was soon matching her forceful thrusts with my own. She cooed with each thrust and threw her head back as her hands found their way to her tiny nipples and pinched them forcefully. Quickly reaching her climax, she trembled violently and chirped an endless stream of shrill, single syllable expletives. Learning from past experience, I grabbed her hips forcefully, and lost myself in the delightful muscle contractions that forcefully caressed my cock and coaxed my essence to spew forth into the tiny womb. Apparently it was too much for her and she collapsed senselessly onto my chest with a grunt.
I heard a groan and a few syllables coming from the direction of Captain Caveman and knew it was time for my hasty exit. Reaching over to grasp the control, I gently fingered the buttons until I was sure I had the red middle button and pressed it firmly. . .
I was lying on my back, stark naked, draped over the couch and staring at the ceiling. The remote slipped from my hand and changed the channel on cable to a pizza commercial as it fell onto the cushion. I lay there for what seemed like hours -- sore and numb. A quick glance at the wall clock revealed less than an hour had passed since I first pushed the blue button, but the bruised torso and bloodied cock confirmed that I had spent a small eternity in two separate alternate realities. Finally, the discomfort of my position forced me unsteadily to my feet. I slowly staggered to the fridge and pulled out a fresh brew. It went down smooth, as did I - slowly sinking to the cold tile as the room began spinning.
Sometime during the night, I apparently found my way to the couch, and woke early at the first hint of dawn with a hangover that set new personal standards. There was time to spare before I was due back in the shop so I staggered back into the kitchen and got some coffee started, my hanging balls sending jolts of agony with every step I took. The rejuvenating hot water from the shower slowly eased the discomfort, and soon I was on the road with a steaming cup of joe and an old pair of boxers cradling my "package."Once on line, I called the cable folks and ordered a new remote to be dropped off at the apartment office that day. Running a quick inventory, I ordered the least pricey components and made a list for the boss to consider. Time passed quickly until about an hour before quitting time. I was barely able to hang on, the last of my energy fading rapidly as I picked up the remote from the rental office and staggered into my apartment. I threw a Swanson's into the micro and grabbed a brew, but never finished either as exhaustion overwhelmed me. I spent another night sleeping on the couch.
A cloudy Friday morning arrived, with barely enough time for me to get prepped and head back to the shop. Workload was light, and I had plenty of opportunities to ponder my erotic experiences with the remote. On the way home I stopped at the electronics store, but the windows were all painted over with a hand painted "CLOZED" sign on the door. The mystery thickens. Back at my apartment, I thoroughly studied the remote, even opening the back cover and digging through the garbage for the mutilated package it came in-- but there was nothing to identify the manufacturer. Frustrated, I popped a brew and turned on the tube. There were nothing but more reruns and boring, sensationalistic news reports. Normally about this time, I'd get decked out and head for the local "watering hole,"but tonight I didn't feel any pressing need. Probably wouldn't be missed anyways. I changed channels, propped my feet on the coffee table, and enjoyed my brew. An hour and beer later, as the oppressive blanket of boredom encroached; I got up, took a pee and grabbed the remote. Closing my eyes, I pressed the green button and . . .
Return of the Ananuki
I slowly opened my eyes. I was standing on a patch of grass surrounded by a multitude of small white igloo shaped structures. Beyond the small community, on a small knoll, rose a tall white structure with a series of tall spires that reached high into sky. Occasional bolts of static discharge sizzled from the tallest spire. People strolled past in off-white gender-less leotards that covered all their bodies except for their unremarkable faces. One stood directly in front of me, staring at my crotch. I quickly used my hands to cover up.
"Greetings,"It murmured in a demure feminine voice
"Hi," I returned meekly, my embarrassment evident.
"Is it functional, she queried while staring at my package my hands suppoted.
"Uh, Last time I checked it was."
"Can I see it? Curiosity and perhaps a little excitement were evident in her voice.
"Uh, well," I stammered, "If I can see yours in a place more private."
"That's acceptable," she quickly replied. There was a device like an oversized wristwatch on her arm that she pushed a couple of buttons and I was instantly encased with a full body leotard like everyone else was wearing. Yet no one else sported a genital "bulge" or camel toe; they all appeared sexless. She gently grasped my hand and led me into one of the nearby "igloos" with a sliding front door one would expect to find on one of Gene Roddenberry's star-ships. Once inside, she pressed a button on her wrist and we were completely naked. I immediately noticed her breasts were barely nubs, and her hairless vulva was little more that a tiny opening. She immediately fell on her knees and her hands began their inexperienced exploration of my genitals. Soon I got hard, and she backed away in awe, amazed by the throbbing organ. With a grunt, she plunged her mouth on my erect pole, and bit down hard.
"What the hell," I gasped as I pushed her away and my cock rapidly deflated.
"Is it not edible," she asked, thoroughly confused.
"Uh, not literally. . ." I replied as I studied the red bite mark that encircled my cock. Oral sex had somehow turned a grizzly corner -- small wonder everyone was sexless!
"I knew not- the Anuk provide our off spring."
"The Anuk, offspring?"
"Our celestial brothers, the Anuk -- know you not of the Anuk?"
"Look, I just got here, sweetheart," I replied defiantly gently rubbing my cock.
"Our celestial brothers descended from heaven and provide all we could ever need,"she retorted defiantly.
"They're concept of sexual gratification and taste in attire is definitely lacking," I mumbled sarcastically.
The Anuk revealed sex is reason for all problems. They changed our DNA, we changed; we live happy now."
"Is that why you bit my dick," I gestured to my groin.
"I curious -- heard digesting men make pleasure."
"Someone's seriously misinformed, my dear. Sex is normally gentle and pleasurable."
"So is eating," she retorted.
I smiled as I fingered the green button on the remote that had somehow remained in my hand throughout the entire encounter. Now wasn't the time to enter into a fruitless demonstration of what is and what ain't and what should be with a naïve cannibal. I pushed the green button. . .
Child of the Ananuki
I was in a lush, fertile valley with beautiful mountain peaks surrounding it. The air was fresh and clean and it felt pleasantly warm. A doe quietly munched on a tall clump of grass a few meters from where I stood. I could hear a beautiful feminine voice singing from within the tall pines where songbirds sang a myriad of whimsical tunes. The doe slowly strolled to me and rubbed its muzzle on my arm and I slowly stroked the short hair along its shoulder. It nuzzled me gently and slowly strolled on down the path. I quietly headed up the path towards the sweet voice that became louder with each step. I rounded a growth of dew coated ferns and there she was, kneeling next to a small tranquil pool of water, her long sensual fingers tracing small patterns on the water's surface. A small fish nipped at her forefinger and she gently caressed its scaly body as it nudged her hand gently.