Renee, Again

"AAAAAHHH!"

She screamed out loud at the freezing cold and the snow. It was the perfect end to a perfect day. Just perfect.

"This just fucking perfect," Renee said, hissing in anger and stymied rage.

Her car wouldn't start. It wasn't the battery, either; she knew enough to check that. The battery wasn't dead and jumping wouldn't help. She had no idea about anything else that might be wrong. There was no warranty on the car; she'd gotten it through a repossession from the bank.

She'd been late to work, filling in at a crosstown branch her bank had taken over. The suburb wasn't that big, but it was unfamiliar, and she'd gotten lost. The new supervisor at the place was throwing her weight around to prove her authority, and had bitched her out for being late, telling her some bullshit about setting an example for the angry, scared employees of a failed bank. Her day had been a parade of dickheads and scared, crabby, crazy, angry people. People arguing about their plastic bread bags full of change, people arguing about their account balances, people shouting at the drive-through microphone, people, incredibly, who had dumped out their car ashtray into the vacuum canister and sent it to explode on her clothing when she opened it. Everyone working in the branch was angry and miserable, and wouldn't even talk to her.

She whirled her arms and just screamed in the empty parking lot.

"SON! OF! A! BITCH!"

Standing in the writhing snow of the lot she pulled out her phone and thought of who to call. She had to call a tow truck, but didn't know any numbers. Digging through the pockets of her skirt she realized she'd left most of her stuff at home, under the Marilyn Monroe poster, and didn't even have her Triple-A card. She'd learned not to take her purse to work, instead taking only the minimum paperwork for driving.The bank was locked, everyone was gone, and if she tried to get back in the alarm would go off, and she'd have to deal with the security people. They were just a drive-by company, and wouldn't be around for another hour. If she called them for help she'd just create another issue with the bitchy boss.

"Perfect."

It was almost the holidays, and she was alone in a stupid parking lot. She had no boyfriend, no family around, nothing. She had nowhere to go and her job sucked and her day sucked and she was lonely and miserable and now her fucking car wouldn't start and she was freezing to death.

She got so frustrated she started to cry.

She got angry with herself and tried to stop but couldn't. She got mad at herself for being weak, then even more frustrated and furious, angry she was standing in an empty, freezing parking lot crying, unable to control it any more. Her nose was running and her ears hurt, her feet were cramped up in her stylish shoes, and she was absolutely miserable.

She tried to stop crying and riffed through her little pink phone and looked at numbers, scrolling through her mother, who was states away, and, unbelievably, Rocket's number. Finding it still in her phone she got even angrier and frantically deleted it, sobbing and pounding on the tiny keypad with homicidal intensity. When Rocket was gone she found she had Ray's number in her phone.

Confused, she tried to think of why she had his number, but then remembered her neighbors had gone out of town almost a year ago, and she'd casually taken their number in case of an emergency at the house, just a neighborly thing from last year.

She took a deep breath and called him.

After three rings it went into voice mail, and Renee almost hung up, but decided to leave a message.

She said, "Hi, this is Renee, your neighbor, and I don't want to bother you, but I'm stuck in the parking lot at work and my car won't start, and I-"

Ray picked up. "Hello."

She controlled her voice and said, "Hey, this is Renee, your neighbor, and I'm stuck at work. My car is dead, I don't know a tow company, and I'm freezing to death." She sucked in a huge, desperately cold lung full of air, and continued, "Could you help me? I'm way far away."

Ray said, with no hesitation at all, "Sure. I'm taking my daughter to swim lessons right now; where are you?"

She told him, and he said, "I know right where it is. I'll be there in about 20 minutes. Get in your car and try to keep warm."

She openly sobbed out loud as she gave him the address, then helplessly blurted out, "Thank you!"

Renee got into her frigid, plastic lined car and hugged herself, shaking violently from cold and emotional dump. Ray showed up in a little gray car almost exactly 20 minutes later, with his daughter in the front seat next to him. He pulled in next to her little Korean car and got out. She did too, and she wanted to hug him for coming to her rescue, but stopped herself. Then he walked over to the other side of his car and waved his kid into the back seat. His daughter clambered back between the front seats without getting out, and Ray held the door open.

Renee couldn't help it and started crying again, unable to control herself over a simple, old-fashioned thing like someone holding a door for her, just that little thing after a shitty day. She was pathetically grateful for just that little thing, and she looked at Ray and cried.

She plopped down on the warm, cloth seat, cozy from Ray's daughter's sitting on it. Renee turned to the girl, whose name she couldn't remember, and said, "Thank you so much."

The girl nodded her head and said, "No prob." She was about ten years old, and looked like Ray's wife.

Ray said, "Give me your car key." Renee handed him her key ring, the metal loop festooned with little trinkets and fuzzy pink bling. Ray looked at it and smiled. He closed the door and walked to Renee's car.

He fooled around with the car a little, popped the hood and looked, then got back in the little gray car and turned up the heater fan.

"I'll call you a tow. It should be about fifty bucks, and I can give them my card number for the bill. You can pay me back, or whatever works for you. They'll call me when they know what's wrong. I'd give them your number, but it's usually better if a guy deals with mechanics. As much as I hate to say that. Is that okay with you?"

Renee couldn't think straight and just nodded, an exaggerated nod, just feeling grateful for the help. He handed her back her arrangement of keys, minus the ignition key.

"I left the key under the front floor mat. It's not like anyone's going to drive it away."

He turned to his daughter and said, "All righty then! You ready for swim time?"

His daughter yelled, "YEAH!" and they were off.

Ray leaned across Renee, opened the glove box, and produced a travel pack of tissue. He handed it to Renee, and she grabbed it and loudly and messily blew her nose three times. The trombone sound made her giggle helplessly, and Ray's daughter snickered.

The daughter behind her said, "There's an elephant in the room."

Ray put his hand on Renee's shoulder in a comforting gesture and said, "You okay?"

Crying and laughing at the same time, she nodded and touched his hand with her freezing palm, feeling warmth filtering into her skin.

Ray's daughter said, "Were you in a fire?"

Renee turned and said, "What?"

"You're all covered in ashes."

Renee huffed, still crying a little, and said, "Some assho-, some JERK sent their car ashtray through the vacuum canister to me in the drive through."

The girl's mouth dropped open and she said, "OOH! What a dick!"

Ray said, "Hey! Language! We talked about that! Just because someone says something on TV or YouTube doesn't mean you can, too!"

Renee started laughing. It was so... 'family.'

Ray said, "Well, actually, yeah. What an unbelievable dick," and laughed.

They pulled into a parking lot, up to a front door, and Ray turned and said, "Okay, Kiddo, two hours. Have fun!"

His daughter leaped out and ran into the building, trailing a "Bye!" behind her, and they were alone.

Ray turned the car around and parked along an outer lane, then flipped out his phone and made the call to a towing company Renee recognized. He finished up then turned to her. He looked like he was going to say something, and she wondered instantly if he was going to bring up their little thing from months ago, but he closed his mouth and sat still for a minute.

They hadn't talked about their little tryst at all, and it had been months. Renee knew he'd been working a lot, and they'd said the usual hellos and heys in the yard, but that had been it. She'd waited to see if Ray was going to talk to her some more, but after he didn't she'd decided it was just a thing, and had stopped thinking about it. They were neighbors, she figured.

He said, almost to himself, "I usually go out for a cup of coffee while Aubrey's in lessons." He turned to her and asked, "Would you care to join me for a cup of coffee? My treat."

She nodded, an exaggerated nod, silently watching him.

He checked the time, then pulled out of the lot and within minutes they were at a coffee shop. While she was undoing her seat belt he jumped out, quickly moved to the passenger side, and opened her door for her. She felt weak again, from the little gesture. It made her feel good.

Ray did it again going in, holding doors and waving her forward. It was stupid but nice, and she caught herself smiling. She excused herself and headed straight for the bathroom to clean up. On the way there her mood crashed.

She knew she looked awful, with red eyes and soot and cigarette ash all over her blouse. She felt like shit as soon as she left Ray, and in the bathroom she got depressed and upset again. She made an intense effort to get ahold of herself, and after several minutes she managed to think halfway clearly. Renee took a deep, deep breath, exhaled, and made the hard decision to simply let the day happen and do what might make her feel good, right that moment, and not dwell on the future or the past. She lowered her head down and looked in the sink, then stood straight up, trying to feel tall and pretty.

It didn't really work. She was standing in a chain coffee shop bathroom, days before a holiday, going over and over to a dead-end job, her family miles away, playing a stupid game with some married man with a crazy wife. She wanted to cut it short and just go home, but didn't want to risk being alone and all upset. Renee struggled to control her emotions, and looked in the mirror at herself. She quickly patted down her puffy face and wiped off the worst of the ash, sucked it up, and went out into the shop feeling deeply awful.

The shop was almost empty, and Ray was chatting with a young, attractive woman behind the counter, joking and laughing, and Renee had an unexpected jolt of anger, a mixture of jealousy and a feeling of betrayal and being used. She was surprised and tried shaking it off but couldn't; she was too upset. She did find the anger and shock of jealousy brought her out of the depression and gave her some energy.

Ray turned to her and said, "What would you like, Renee?"

She couldn't say anything right away, and Ray looked confused, then like he was thinking, and then he did something unexpected: he turned up a palm towards the pretty young girl behind the counter and said, "Oh; I'm sorry, this is Angela, Aubrey's sitter, and this-" he made the same motion towards Renee, "-is my neighbor, Renee. Renee, Angela; Angela, Renee."

The girl waved from her elbow and said, "Hi! Heard you had some car trouble! That sucks so bad!"

She brusquely pointed at Renee's stained blouse and said, "I can't believe that, someone sending their ashtray inside to you! I'd be so pissed!"

Renee felt herself being defused, and also had the feeling she didn't want to be placated, she wanted to vent and be angry.

The girl said, "I'll make you something extra, EXTRA special! EXTRA special! Do you like caramel?"

Renee nodded again, then caught herself and said, "Yes."

The girl exclaimed, "Cool! This is SOOO good!" She winked. "It'll cheer you up, promise!" She waved her hands out, shaking ringed fingers. "You guys go sit! I'll bring it out!"

Renee headed for a table by the window, but Ray gently took her elbow and said, "This way." He led her to a little nook towards the back, and she was surprised to find a fake fireplace set in a wall, crackling and artificial, but toasty and warm. Ray pulled a soft chair by the fireplace and she sat down and curled her feet up, trying not to be angry and worked up. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back.

She stayed that way for a while.

When she opened her eyes Ray was looking at her. Their eyes met, and he looked like he was going to say something again, but closed his mouth. Then the girl showed up again, bringing the happy voice and exclamation marks with her.

"Omigod, it's so cozy back here!" She thrust a cup at Renee and said, "Here you go!"

She handed a cup to Ray and stopped, propping a fist on her hip, young and bouncy and pretty. She smiled, a great big, joking smile. She looked at Renee and winked.

"So, is this like some bad porno movie?"

Ray looked up. "What?"

"You know, 'Oh, my car won't start! But I don't have any money!" She put her hands on either side of her face, like the kid from HOME ALONE. "'HOW can I PAY YOU?'" She put her elbows in and undulated in a completely exaggerated way: "Chicky chicky wow wow!" and burst into uproarious laughter.

Ray's mouth fell open, and his expression of shock and embarrassment made Renee laugh too. She suddenly quit the angry feeling and laughed with the pretty young girl. She knew it was kind of mean, but it was really funny, and it cheered her up a little.

The girl slapped Ray on the shoulder and whisked off, laughing.

Renee asked, "Is she always like that?"

Ray rolled his eyes. "Yes. Always." He sighed and said, "She's really nice, and Aubrey loves her. They're like little buddies."

Renee sipped her drink, and the Angela girl was right: it was so good it cheered her up. She was toasty warm next to a fireplace, she had a delicious cup of coffee stuff, she was curled up and comfy, and, she realized with a shock, she was with Ray. Her thinking stopped completely.

Ray leaned towards the fire, cradling his cup. He tilted his head to look at Renee.

He said, in a completely matter-of-fact voice, with no sleaze at all, "It's nice. This is nice."

She made a face at him.

"I mean it." He shifted his hands. "I'm sorry you had such a bad day."

She said, sincerely, "It's getting better." When she said it she had a flash of what she wanted.